


Black suit

by cerulean1990



Category: Before Crisis: Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen, Humor, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:16:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 86,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerulean1990/pseuds/cerulean1990
Summary: Finding that many of the Shin-Ra employees were less than professional was one thing. Surviving the many shenanigans that happen in that company was another, specially when you are the rookie Turk.





	1. Rejected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone.
> 
> So, this is the first story I've written. The first chapter does not say much but it is meant to be a humorous take on the less-than professional shenanigans that happen in Shin-Ra.
> 
> You'll probably figure out what characters they started out as I go on. It is not meant to follow game canon, though it takes place between CC and FFVII.
> 
> I'd appreciate any feedback that can be given, especially around the OC, I tried my best to make him appealing, but then again, he may be sinking into blandness, or worse, without me noticing –if he has, there may be time to save him!
> 
> English is not my first language, so if any wording or phrasing sounds odd, it is probably a result of that… Thank you for reading!

The walls next to the entrance doors of the military base in Junon were covered with two large posters, each a few dozen names and scores. The lists were announcing which candidates had been selected to enter Shin-Ra's world-famous SOLDIER program at Midgar. Amassed in front of the list were many aspiring candidates, many more than the names on the lists. Either drawn by the prospect of a good job or by the carefully-crafted propaganda that depicted the well-known First Class SOLDIERS, the yearly summons drew large amounts of impressionable young men to try to join their ranks. Three easily distinguishable categories of candidates could be seen: the first, those that had just arrived and that looked sick out of the anxiety of having to check the posters. The second group was composed of the young men that looked in profound sadness at the lists, which did not have their names on them. The third, and by far the smallest group, were those that looked ecstatic after finding themselves selected.

Dante was in the second category.

He slowly walked away from the group. As he walked towards the elevator that led to lower-Junon he missed the faces of anxiety that his own face triggered on the candidates that were en-route to the lists.

He was not particularly surprised. Two weeks ago, Dante had traveled from his hometown, Costa del Sol, to apply and take the rigorous entrance tests to the program. His parents had attempted unsuccessfully to dissuade him from going. After all, why would he want to join the army? Dante's family ran a successful Inn in a popular tourist destination. They did not need the money, unlike many of the young men that came from other backwater towns, like Corel or Gongaga. He could eventually inherit the family business and go on being an Innkeeper like his mother and grandfather before him. Still, it had been an unexpected move, even for him, to try to join the army. He wondered if it was a case of late-teenager rebelliousness?

Dante's introspection was interrupted when he almost crashed into another group of rejected candidates. They were gathering in front of a table manned by two men in blue uniforms: Shin-Ra infantrymen. Those that failed entry into SOLDIER always had the option of joining the less-popular military units –provided the candidate was above a certain score in the tests. Many of the rejected candidates opted to enlist, as they could always re-apply the following year for SOLDIER. The requisites were laid in another poster behind the troopers, who were busy answering questions the rejected candidates had.

Dante read the requisites and let a sight: although the scores required were lower (far lower) than those required for SOLDIER, he was still well below the minimum requirement in the physical area. Dante was not skinny or underweight. He simply had not expected all the running he had to do during the 3-hour physical examination, and fainted halfway through. Dante pushed aside the embarrassing memory of being carried back indoors and given a box of grape juice as if he were a child. In any case he took one of the pamphlets laid on the table and then walked to the elevator.

As he sat in the waiting area of the docks for the next ferry to Costa del Sol he thought of the other tests of the program: a written test filled with logical reasoning problems, language use and simple algebra –he had done fairly well in that one. The medical examinations had been a bit more unnerving to him, as he had stood buck naked along with other four candidates in front of a group of doctors than examined them in detail; after that some blood had been drawn to check for STD's. In another room, a psychologist had directed him to draw seemingly inconspicuous things and performed an inkblot test.

In the last test the candidates were given materia to test for any affinity for magic. In a large unoccupied area in the airport, three examiners had been taking notes behind a large table that had gloves on top. Each of those gloves had a single slot occupied with different materia. The candidates were asked to select one and try casting anything out of it. Some had been unable to do a thing. Others managed a few weak embers, shards of ice or short-traveling bolts. Dante had cast a bolt of lightning that had left the examiners surprised. He was promptly given another glove to try, and proceeded to cast a fair-sized (albeit short lived) ball of flame.

Unlike running (or any kind of physical exercise, for that matter) magic was something he was good at. Sometimes after school he and a friend would go to the outskirts of the town to use materia sneaked out of his friend's parent's shop. The fun was cut short some months into it after they got overexcited with some fire materia and set ablaze a sunflower plantation. He had been grounded for months and his friend was never allowed near the materia again. "At least all that practice had been good for something," he thought.

"Failed to get in SOLDIER?" a voice said to his right.

Dante turned to see the man sitting next to him. He was a business man in a black suit, reading a newspaper folded on his lap.

"Yeah, didn't make the cut." He answered flatly, not in the mood for discussing his failure with a stranger.

"Do you plan on joining the infantry?" the stranger asked, pointing to the pamphlet in Dante's hands.

"Ah, no… I can't join there either." Dante answered, lowering his gaze a bit.

"Well, you _did_ look like a deer caught in the headlights during the medical examination. And you _really_ messed up the physical test. Fainting and all that."

"How do you even…!?" Dante felt blood warming his ears. He turned to face the black-haired man. It was likely that he worked for Shin-Ra (who didn't in Junon?), but Dante could not recall seeing him in any examination.

"Nevertheless" the black suited man continued "you do show some promise in other areas." From inside the folds of his newspaper he pulled a blue folder and opened it. The papers inside were scribbled with forms and notes. In the top-right corner of the first sheet, Dante's own photo was stapled: he was looking at his personal file from the tests.

"Candidate #0720. You will be 17 next month. Height: 1.70 m, 69.3kg. Your logical thinking and pattern-following abilities are what is expected from someone your age. You appear to be psychologically stable, albeit with a need to prove yourself that luckily, does not cause you to have problems with authority. Your parents run the Sunset Inn at Costa del Sol. When you were 14 you set ablaze a sunflower field while using materia of questionable origin. Your parents paid for the damages and no arson charges were filed. You do not have any formal training in any martial arts, are decent swimmer and enjoy growing ferns despite the fact that the weather in your city does not..."

"Woa, woa! How do you know all that?" Dante was visibly disturbed -and scared- now. "My stats are one thing, I mean, I took the tests… But how in Shiva's cold grace do you know about the" he lowered his voice to a whisper "fire incident?"

"It is my job to know. Tell me Dante, did you practice often with materia before the incident? Have you since then?"

"You don't know that? Isn't it written there along with the report about my underwear preferences?" Dante said with a snort. The man ignored him and continued:

"Your magic affinity tests show promise. With some exercise to compensate for your, _lack_ , of physical resistance and some training in hand-to-hand combat and weapon use you would make a fairly good agent. My boss certainly thinks so."

That caught Dante off guard. This stranger did work for Shin-Ra, and was apparently trying to recruit him for… For what exactly? He had said "agent" instead of "corporal".

"Who are you?" He finally asked. The man closed Dante's file fonder and said:

"I am here in behalf of the Department of Administrative Research, commonly known as "the Turks"."

"Never heard of them" Dante said, sincerely.

"I am not surprised; our line of work requires a certain degree of, _discretion_."

"And what is it that you do?"

"Espionage. Sometimes kidnapping and assassinations" The man said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Basically anything that must be solved with a scalpel instead of a sword."

Dante stared at the man intently and then let out a short, nervous laugh. The man looked at him with a dead serious expression that told Dante his interlocutor was not joking.

"And you want me to…?"

"Come join us, if you are interested"

His day had suddenly taken a 180-degree turn. Dante considered his options. Sure, working as a spy of some sort sounded interesting, but the fame that came with SOLDIER was more alluring. The discretion associated with the job was promising. Truth be told, he didn't want a fan club filled with stalkers that knew everything about him, from his shoe size to his favorite shampoo brand –he had heard about those- but still… Assassinations? He knew SOLDIERS would have to kill. After all, most publicity came from the exploits of its operatives in the war with Wutai. Still, the way this man presented his work made it sound morally aggravating.

"I… I think I'll pass… If I start exercising I'll be able to complete the physical test next year and…"

"You will not be able to join SOLDIER". A look of confusion and shock passed Dante's face.

"The 14:30 ferry to Costa del Sol will depart in 15 minutes. All passengers please prepare you tickets for boarding at gate number two. Thank you," an announcer said aloud in front of them.

The man opened the folder again and extracted a sheet of paper from behind the page with Dante's photo. The top had Shin-Ra's logo and read "Science Department". Below it followed:

SOLDIER candidate #0720

In-Vitro mako compatibility test results:

Candidate's blood shows VERY LOW compatibility with liquid mako.

Proceed to REJECT current and any subsequent enlisting attempts.

The signatures below were laid under a large red stamp that once again read "rejected" in red. Turns out, his blood was not exactly for STD's.

"You are no doubt aware that the mako infusions are a large part of what make SOLDIERs. If they tried to inject it, you would probably die on the spot –not that Hojo is above trying anyway, just to satiate his curiosity." He took the page from Dante's hands and shuffled it back with the other papers in the folder.

Dante was now feeling something around his throat. The words "reject current and subsequent enlisting attempts" were resonating in his head. Even if he joined the infantry he would never be able to make the jump to SOLDIER. He realized he had crushed the pamphlet in his hand. Dante stood, not knowing what to say.

The man continued: "Think about it. My offer may not be as glamorous as what you intended, but is certainly more interesting. Not many people complain about working with our department, at least." He handed a business card that Dante took slowly. "There is only so much that can be discussed now, if you are interested contact me at the mail address written of the back."

"I'll think about it. Thanks." Said that, Dante walked towards the gate, were the other passengers of the ferry were almost done boarding. Behind him the man said: "Oh, and Dante..."

He turned to face the man, who was now standing halfway in the dock. He was again reading something from his file. Finally he enunciated: "navy blue and black in color. Chocobo jockey brand. Trunks." After that -creepily accurate- statement, he closed the folder, turned around and resumed his walking through the dock.

As he felt the blood rushing back to his ears, he started to have serious doubts about that shady venture. Perhaps a fan club would be less intrusive than his employers.

Dante looked at the back of the business card; a corporate email address was hand-written on it. On the front, along with the Shin-Ra logo, an incredibly simple (for not saying dull) text read:

**Tseng**  
**+3967**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: as the story nears it's 25th chapter, there are some things I wanted to point out to anyone who decided to try this story out:
> 
> First: it starts really slow, the first 5-6 chapters are basically introductory.
> 
> Second: I decided around the 10th chapter to retroactively fit this story into the game's canon, this causes some wonkiness here and there, I apologize beforehand.
> 
> Third: eventually you reach some light yaoi -nothing explicit nor sexual in nature. I will stay like that throughout the story unless popular demand requests modifications. If this (I believe the term is "lime") is not your cup of tea, you have been warned :)
> 
> Any comments and suggestions will greatly help me improve my writing.
> 
> I thank you beforehand for deciding to read this story.


	2. Sign, dammit!

Transport-derived motion sickness had been unknown to Dante. Not even the ferry travels between Costa del Sol and Junon had bothered him in any way. But the last stretch of his voyage had been different: the spiraling climb of the train to the upper plate of Midgar had left Dante dizzy. As the train came to a complete stop, he grasped the handles of his duffel bag and set off to the towering building that could be seen in the center of the city: the Shin-Ra Electric Power Company Headquarters.

He passed between the armed guards at the front door and went to address the receptionist that was currently typing hurriedly on the keyboard. How she managed to hit the right keys with the unnaturally long, artificial nails was something he would try to figure out later on.

"Um, excuse me…"

She made a gesture with her left hand that clearly said "hold a moment" while the typing went on with her right hand only. After about half a minute of fast key-hitting, she stopped only to slowly re-read whatever she was writing with a face of deep concentration. Dante stood there with the hand to his face telling him to wait. Finally, the receptionist gave a light-hearted chuckle and said "yeah, that's just what I was aiming for". She then turned to Dante and with a wide smile said: "how can I help you?"

"I have an appointment with mister Tee-uh-zheng?" he said, realizing he had no idea how to pronounce the name. Noting a hint of doubt in her, he quickly pulled a business card –if it could be called that, given its lack of any data- and handed it to the receptionist.

"Ah, the _chief_ of the Turks" she said after reading the name. The receptionist raised the phone and dialed the numbers of the card –again, how did she do that with those nails? After a short pause she spoke again to the device: "there is a young man here that… I see… Ok." She hanged the phone and spoke to Dante again: "someone will come down to escort you to his office, please take the first flight of stairs and wait in front of the elevators." She then handled him a picture-less ID card with the words "visitor" stamped on it.

"Thanks" was the only thing he could answer as he received the item: Dante was starting to feel uneasy in the large lobby of the building: upon closer inspection he noted the large area was devoid of any human life, except for him and the receptionist. Was this place really the headquarters of the most powerful corporate entity in the world? He expected it to be a busy place filled with people in suits, like the streets of Midgar. But in retrospective, he noted that as he came closer to the imposing building complex, the population became more and more scarce. He started his climb of the stairs, each step echoing solemnly in the large space.

"Oh, another thing young man," Dante heard the receptionist say behind him. He turned on the seventh step to face her as she continued: "It is pronounced _Tseng_ ". With that and a friendly smile, she turned back to her PC and resumed her quick typing.

After sliding the strap of the card around his neck, Dante proceeded towards the elevators.

It had been two weeks since he had met Tseng in the docks of Junon. During the ferry back to Costa del Sol, he debated with himself whether he should write him or not. After much deliberation, he finally decided to start accepting his fate as an innkeeper.

That opinion shifted quickly that night when he arrived at the inn. More specifically, after his mother had asked him if he had been accepted. When he responded with a low, sad, and hopeless "no" his mother had said: "Well obviously you were not going to be picked! What did you expected? You should be thankful you were not selected to get violated in those barracks. Now, go change the balcony lightbulb or room 204."

Man, a simple "too bad honey" or "maybe next time" would have sufficed. He was sure (or at least was trying his best to think) that his mother was simply concerned about him. Still, threats of sexual abuse on the poor boy just arrived to the big city was a bit harsh. He realized he did not want to spend the rest of his life changing lightbulbs of other people's rooms. After his quick handyman detour, Dante went straight up to his computer.

Tseng's response came a day later with some job specifications. He had told him only so much could be said in the docks, but his mail was even more ambiguous –on account of Dante not using a secure server. If he was still interested, he would have to go to meet him in Midgar. The venture seemed shadier by the minute. The Shin-Ra website had no record about a "Department of Administrative Research" and the directory did not enlist Tseng. He kind of expected that (after all, no company would announce their spies on a website). In fact, did Tseng really worked for Shin-Ra? He could have stolen his file from the examiners in an attempt to sell him into slave trade, or worse -a room with a black leather couch flashed his mind. Then again he knew a lot about him, including his underwear preferences. Maybe he was being paranoid. His doubts were once again cast aside when his mother called:

"Dante! The toilet of room 209 is clogged again!"

" _I'll be there"_ Was all the text in his last email.

The doors of the elevator opened and a young woman with short blond hair, wearing a suit just like Tseng's came out.

"Dante, I presume?" she said. A redundant question, really. After all, there was nobody else in the lobby, except for the secretary, who was laughing again to whatever she was typing. "I see Celia is having fun with another of her stories". The blonde directed him into the elevator and hit a couple of buttons.

"Stories?" Dante asked.

"Yes, she spends her day writing fanfiction. How long did she had you waiting before she stopped typing?"

"Not long."

"You were lucky then."

Dante decided it was best to momentarily put aside any preconceptions he had about "professionalism". As the elevator rose through the floors the silence grew more and more awkward.

"How long have you been working here?" Dante asked.

"Little over a year now. I'm Elena, by the way. I know that you have not decided to stay yet, but I'd really like that you do." She gave Dante a casual smile. He could only gulp.

The elevator doors opened and she directed him through the hallways until they arrived at a door with a plaque that read "Department of Administrative Research". Below, a crudely handwritten note held in place by tape said: "The Turks, you idiot!"

Elena may have noticed Dante's confusion at the aggressive piece of paper, because she explained: "people were having trouble finding our office, everyone knows us as 'the Turks', and since the door didn't say that…"

She opened the door and led Dante into a spacious office with six desks, three on each side of the room. "Wait here a moment, I'll go tell the chief you are here". Elena walked to the back of the office, where the silhouette of someone could be seen moving through the frosted glass wall that divided his office from that of his subordinates.

A lot could be said about the user of each of the desks in sight: at least two of the left-side desks were obviously occupied by women; one had an open laptop and a pink coffee mug on top and the other one had a neatly stacked pile of papers with bright adhesive markers sticking out of them. The last desk on that side was messier, shotgun shells were scattered around and a box with gun-cleaning equipment lay open. The desks on the other side of the office were even worse. In one, an enormous pile of papers was precariously balanced; the desk organizer (that on closer inspection turned out to be a beer can) was lying on its side, its contents scattered on the desk. The other desk had an assortment of tools that looked like they belonged in an electronic workshop, wires, duct tape and a fistful of white dough lay on the desk. The third desk was empty, except for the lamp and a few office supplies that were both covered in a fine layer of dust.

"You may come in" Tseng said from his door, while Elena walked toward the desk with the pink mug. As he passed her, Dante heard a faint "good luck cutie". Dante chose to ignore the strange advances.

Tseng's office was as organized as the woman's desks. Dante did not have enough time to examine it as he had done with the others, because Tseng promptly directed him to a door on the right.

"You can leave your bag here"

After putting it down, Dante passed a door that read:

Veld

Head of Department

Dante noticed that the paint of the "d" in Veld was scratched, as if someone had attempted to remove it once. Unlike the messy but acceptable desks at the front and Tseng's carefully arranged office, this place was a downright mess. It seemed someone had casted a Beta spell in there. Papers were scattered on the floor, some of them with shoe marks and/or coffee stains on them. A large map of the world with a multitude of pins and adhesive notes of vibrant colors hanged from one of the walls. A strange odor lingered in the air. One of the window's glass panes had a crack and inexplicably, a small shrine with a candle and a picture of someone Dante could not see was on one corner. Was this really the office of a head of department? Given the office arrangements Tseng appeared to be second-in-command, and he _did_ say he had a boss. Celia's emphasis on the word "boss" came to his mind.

"Sir. The candidate" Tseng announced.

The man in the chair behind the desk raised his head from the file in his desks. His face, along with its scars contorted in confusion as he saw Dante.

"I thought you were taller" he said, redirecting his gaze at the file.

"That was the _previous_ candidate, sir. We withdrew the offer after the interview"

"Ok, then" He closed the folder and opened another, identical one "then you must be Tidus. Strange name, how do you pronounce it?"

"That was the _other_ candidate, sir. The one that reportedly drowned in the pool of his residence"

"Oh! You mean he is the materia arsonist?"

" _Good grief! It was an accident!"_ Dante thought, albeit he could not help to direct his gaze at the littered floor as blood rushed to his ears again.

"Yes, sir. He is" Tseng said calmly, although Dante could swear his voice and patience towards his boss were cracking.

"Well, Heidegger was pressuring me to hire a new member and you are the only choice we have now. You are hired."

"Wait, what?" Dante had never had a job interview, much less one for a spy position, but he was sure that was not how they went.

"See that the paperwork is completed Tseng, and make sure this one signs the release of liability"

"Yes sir. This way, please."

An increasingly confused Dante was led back to Tseng's office. After chief Veld's door was closed, they walked to the desk and took a seat.

"As you are no doubt aware, the chief is… A stressed man, but pay no attention to most of his remarks. You _are_ a promising candidate" Tseng said.

The talk continued as Dante had more-or-less expected. He was explained in greater detail what was expected of him as a rookie member, while assuring him that assassination missions would be handled by his more experienced co-workers. Mornings would be dedicated to get familiar with the inner workings of Shin-Ra and afternoons would be used to "toughen him up a little", namely, training in weapon use, hand-to-hand combat and materia use with his co-workers. He then detailed the in-building accommodations he had access to, generous health policies and extensive release of liabilities Shin-Ra required him to sign.

Given all that had happened, from their meeting to the strange happenings he noted around him, and with no shortage of doubt on whether Veld was fit to do his job, Dante dared ask:

"Will this be worth it?" He could have phrased it more appropriately.

"I believe it is, as I said, no one has complained about his work so far"

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that "everyone" was five people. Dante noted no one had entered the office yet. The other members were probably out in some dangerous mission.

"Now, out of the three rejected SOLDIER candidates selected this year, you are the only one that is not a sadistic psychopath or dead. I understand that you have concerns, but before you start having second thoughts over you decisions –as your psychological profile says you will- I want you to tell me: do you really feel like changing lightbulbs and unclogging toilets during the rest of the foreseeable future?"

It was oddly specific. But true. Before Dante's imagination got the best of him, he asked "where do I sign?"

Tseng rose from his chair and walked to the door. "Elena, would you walk Dante to human resources? I'll call so that they prepare his contract"

"You mean he's staying!?" a very ecstatic voice said from the other side.

"You read his profile too; he may change his mind if you take too long"

The sound of a roller chair and hurried steps preceded Elena's face popping in.

"Move it kid!" she said, all traces of her previous kindness morphed into an unexplained urgency.

She practically pushed him out of the office, down the hallway, into the elevator and down to floor 20-something. As they entered the human resources department she quickly directed them to a secretary that was stapling some papers.

"Do you have it?" Elena said, with the urgency of a junkie talking with their dealer.

"Calm down, I just finished printing it and…"

"Hurry woman! I need a pen!" not waiting a response she jumped to the nearest desk and grabbed a pen from the organizer. "Here you go" Elena said, handing the stolen pen to Dante, a maniacal grin on her face.

"I need to read these you know" Dante said, intimidated by the sudden pressure. He turned to the secretary and saw what was being handled to him: "holy crap is that my contract?" Dante had seen smaller encyclopedia sets.

"Standard-issue for the Turks. Includes your contract, release of liability, medical policy, organ donation form, medical and scientific experimentation permission, life insurance, renouncement to privacy policy, accommodation acceptance contract, vacation waiver, scapegoating consent form, justice-by-peers waiver, bodily fluid archival consent, absolute power of attorney in behalf of Shin-Ra and back-up release of liability. We'll need them in triplicate."

"Bodily fluid what?"

"…Archival, that means they'll save a sample of your spunk in case they need to frame you for fathering a kid" Elena said while discretely guiding Dante's hand, along with the pen, to the dotted line of the first contract.

"Wait, what!?" Dante said alarmed, "that's just crazy! Why would I sing something like that!?"

"You wanted to be in SOLDIER didn't you? You would have been required to sign something like this anyway"

"Yeah, but…"

"Look kid, I'm this close of stop being the rookie in the group and you are not about to ruin it for me!" As soon as she said that, a pink glow started to emanate from her glove. With a swift motion, Elena forcefully placed the palm of her glowing hand in Dante's forehead.

A strange feeling invaded him. Dante felt a funny feeling in his stomach. He faced at Elena, who suddenly seemed… sexy.

"Would you mind signing your contracts?" she said in a sweet voice, seeing him with eyes that warmed him like the summer sun of Costa del Sol. He started signing.

All he knew is that he had to make her happy, she needed his help. Gaia knew what horrible experiences that girl had in that office. His soon-to-be-boss was a wreck; Tseng was cracking and who knew what other oddballs of incompetence were his other co-workers.

"Miss, I really don't think that contracts signed under status effects are legally binding" the secretary said with a meek voice.

"Silence, wench" Dante said, eyes half-lidded and a bright blush across his face "this poor, intelligent and beautiful young woman is desperate and only I can save her!" He then resumed his mass signature-stamping.

Once the many contracts were signed, Elena requested the key to Dante's room and guided him out of the office.

"Hey. Your hand is, warm…" Dante said with a stupid grin on his face.

"I know sweetie."

The elevator ride to the residential floors was shorter. Elena opened the door and pushed Dante in. He did not even look at his new living quarters. All his attention was focused on Elena. She did not seem interested in the room, either, because she pushed Dante all the way across the scarcely furbished room and into the bedroom.

"Ah… Wait" He said, stopping just past the door. "I don't want to go too fast, I mean, we just met and, don't take it the wrong way, I really like you but I… "

She responded by grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him onto the bed behind him. The friction of the mattress due to lack of bedding or sheets did not distract Dante at all.

"Wait… I… I've never done this before…" He said, a bit of panic creeping to his face.

"Aww," she said. "We know."

A green glow was emanating from her glove.

"We?"

A swift motion of her glowing hand, and Dante was deep in slumber.

He could not hear Elena walking out of the room, laughing like a maniac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, madness has begun to creep into this story!
> 
> This chapter was originally written along with the first one and served as a long introduction, but halfway through editing I decided to split them. I wanted to introduce most of the Turks I'll be using in this story here, but finally decided to save them for the next chapter -though you probably already know who most of them are. From now on chapters will update every other week.


	3. Coffee for the masses

"Do you think you can top that?" the dark-skinned girl said.

"Is that a challenge?"

Dante raised his hand and focused on the materia slotted in the makeshift glove. He held his concentration in place, knowing that the longer he took to release the spell, the more powerful it would be. When he let go, a bright flare erupted. Unfortunately, the fireball traveled far. Way too far. I traced a bright arc on the evening sky and crashed in the middle of a flowering field.

"Oh shit!"

"Dante! What did you do!?"

"I was only trying to… Oh, shit man!"

People were running out of the house on the side of the field, shouting to each other.

In the distance, a bell could be heard: the town's fire alarm.

"We have to get out of here"

The bell was growing louder. Dante tried to catch with the running girl.

"Fran, wait for me!"

His legs were moving, but he was not going forward. The bell sounded weird.

* * *

Dante awoke panting.

An alarm was buzzing to his left. It was 6:30 AM. Dante stretched to turn it off.

He looked around. Not fully sure where he was. " _How did I get here?"_

He rubbed his eyes, while trying to piece what had happened the day before. He had arrived at Shin-Ra, met Elena, talked with Tseng and then went to sign his contract and…

"Son of a bitch!" He said aloud. Had he been placed under confusion? What else did he do? The many documents he had signed came back to him. He could not recall all of them but was quite sure many where more than questionable. He ran through the bedroom's door and found himself in a small department. A two person couch and a coffee table were the only visible furniture. A kitchenette with a mini-fridge and a microwave oven was further back, behind a counter. Near the entrance was a pile of cardboard boxes. A paper note was on top of them. Dante walked to the boxes and started reading the note:

_Good morning!_

_I took the liberty of setting your alarm clock; you should be at the office by 8._

_The guys brought your stuff over._

_You'll find a uniform your size in the closet._

_Elena_

_PS. I left a bottle of yogurt in the fridge, you are probably hungry. Don't worry; it is not coconut-flavor._

"What?"

Who were "the guys" and… The boxes. Dante opened the topmost one and found an assortment of his possessions. A small chocobo plush, some CD's, pens and pencils. Basically all that had been on his bedroom desk when "the guys" visited. Not feeling like going through the boxes, and short on time, Dante skimmed through the boxes until he pulled a towel and went to the bathroom. Thankfully, there was soap and shampoo there, albeit it was of horrible quality, even if it had the Shin-Ra logo on it.

The closet had indeed an assortment of suits and shirts in multiple sizes. Below lay a box with a pair of black boots his size. Trying his best not to think of how they knew his clothes size to the centimeter, Dante dressed in his new uniform. Despite being a suit, it was surprisingly flexible, made with a thin, soft fabric that somehow seemed very sturdy. Now that he was wearing it, Dante noticed it closed with a zipper instead of with buttons.

It was 7:45 already. Dante drank the yogurt quickly, wondering if he would have anything to talk about with his co-workers to break the ice. They already seemed to know all there was to know about him, down to his favorite flavors.

Dante walked out of the room and wandered some minutes around the hallways, trying to find the elevators. By the time he found the metallic doors, he had already forgotten what direction he would have to take back. Up in the office he found Elena, cheerfully reading a crossword puzzle magazine.

"Morning. Sleep well? The first time is hard when in a new place."

"Morning. Don't worry, your sleep spell helped a lot."

"What sleep spell?" she asked innocently. Dante looked at her. I he had not known better, he would have fallen for it.

"Is all the people here as… _Colorful_ as you are?" Chief Veld certainly came to mind.

Elena gave a chuckle. "There is a training manual for you in your desk."

Dante turned to the formerly-dust covered desk. The manual on top was a thick binder with Shin-Ra's logo on the front. Since Tseng –nor anybody else- was on the office yet, he started reading it.

The first pages were a welcoming message. The next pages described the mission and vision of the company. On the following page, things started to get messy: it was a diagram that illustrated the hierarchy of the company. Dante wondered if the document was properly updated: although, to his knowledge, Shin-Ra did not have a Space Exploration program anymore, a man named Palmer could be found as head of said department -on the same level as the heads of Urban Development, Public Safety, Weapon Development and Science departments, no less. Below Heidegger -head of Public Safety- Veld's name was crossed in red, and Tseng's name had been scribbled below, listed as "Head of the Turks" –no wonder nobody knew their official name. On the same level, formerly as director of SOLDIER, some "Lazard D." was also crossed and "Gen. Sephiroth" was scribbled below.

He supposed the changes were recent enough or had happened so fast that nobody had time to update the pages yet. The next page was titled "Welcome to the Department of Administrative Research" –complete with a scribble below that read "the Turks, duh!"

On the area sub-titled "department purpose", a single line could be read:

_Identify and approach potential new recruits for the SOLDIER program._

It would have been surprising if "espionage" had been written there. At that moment, Dante began hearing voices from outside the office. The door opened and Tseng entered, followed by a woman with sandy blond hair, tied in a high ponytail.

"Come on, sir! I've been there for weeks! How much longer should I guard those reactors? Isn't that the work of the Security Department?"

"As I said, there is evidence that mako is being stolen from at least one of the reactors in Midgar. In fact, Heidegger insisted I sent another agent to do surveillance work. That's why we hired him, so Elena can help you" Tseng pointed at Dante.

The woman noticed Dante and observed him curiously.

"I thought you said the candidate had drowned," was her answer.

"This one is the arsonist," said Elena while solving a new crossword puzzle on her magazine.

"Oh well, more diversity in the group. I'm Freyra, nice to meet you."

"Dante, not an arsonist. Nice to meet you, too."

"Well, better get ready" Freyra said to no one in particular as she walked to the last desk. She then pulled (of all things) a compact shotgun out of the drawer and started checking it nonchalantly. Dante was just getting over the fact that a weapon had been there in an unlocked drawer when the door opened again. A girl with auburn, shoulder-length hair carrying a camera with a long-range lens entered.

"Elena, get me a coffee please. I have been taking pictures since 5 AM"

"Not today girl, there is a new head of coffee department" came as a rebuke from the blonde, her pen pointing at Dante. Her smug smile revealed she had been waiting a long time to be able to say that.

"And who are you?" the brunette said, putting down the camera on the desk between Elena´s and Freyra's.

"The new rookie," said Elena.

"Dante, not an arsonist," he introduced himself quickly.

"Cissnei, I didn't say you were…"

"She didn't read the profiles" interjected Freyra, "but you know what they say about denial..." She added with a playful tone.

"Well, arsonist or not… A cup of coffee, please. With cream and sugar"

"While you are at it, I'll have black, no cream and one sugar". Freyra added as she loaded shells into her shotgun.

Dante was about to comment on this sudden craving for caffeine when a voice was heard from the hallway. Two more Turks entered. One tall and dark skinned, wearing glasses even though he was indoors, and the other one with bright red hair and untidy uniform. The latter was speaking loudly as they walked in.

"…you know what I mean no? All I'm saying is: she shouldn't have said she was into that sort of thing if she was not meaning to go all the way through… Woa! The new coffee boy is here, yo!"

"Coffee boy?" suddenly 'head of coffee department' was not so bad.

"Man, after all the trouble Rude and I went through to get you stuff from your house! We even forged your handwriting for the suicide note we left for your mama!" the redhead said in a faux-pained tone. "The least you can do is keep us awake, yo."

"The suicide _what!_?"

"You know, 'I'm tired of my miserable life. I blame you and dad. Sorry about the fire. Don't look for my corpse. Goodbye forever.' The typical suicide note made by sad teenagers, yo."

Dante was flabbergasted. "The guys", it seemed, had done far more than picking up his stuff from his room. "I need to call my house". A series of clicks sounded to his side. Cissnei had her face contorted, suppressing laughter: she was snapping photos of him from her desk.

"Aw man! Tell me you got his face, yo!"

"Every second."

Laugher erupted in the room. It took Dante a second before realizing what was going on.

"That… That's not funny guys" he tried his best to keep his voice from cracking.

Elena, who appeared to be enjoying that she was not in the butt of the joke, spoke when the laughter was fading: "a word for: 'a new recruit, generally forced to do menial tasks _'_?"

"Lackey" (shotgun cocking sound)

"Servant" (wiping camera lens)

"Slave, yo"

"Has an "i" in it" (pen tip on her mouth)

"Bitch?" Rude spoke in a deep, unsettling voice.

Tseng emerged from behind his frosted glass office door " _Rookie_. Now stop abusing him, his mother already did so for too long," he turned to face the new recruit and proceeded: "black, no sugar. Coffee shop is two floors down; they'll add it to our tab".

After taking everyone's order again, Dante started his walk to the coffee shop. Elena's desperation and illegal methods were suddenly all too clear. The coffee shop was not busy. A single barista was reading a Shin-Ra-published magazine when he noticed Dante walking to him.

"Elena wasn't lying yesterday! I guess you must be the new kid of the block"

"I guess I am. And for the record 'new kid on the block' is the least aggravating thing I've been called today."

"They don't really mean it. They may be the weirdest department around but at least they got each other's backs."

Dante pulled the note he had made with everyone's requests. He was about to start ordering when he noticed the barista was busy making different beverages.

"They always order the same, just tell me who wants something and I already know what to make. Though since it's your first day, I guess you are playing 'caffeinator' for everyone"

"Again with caffeinator? Give it up, it is never gonna be a thing" said a voice to Dante's back.

A SOLDIER was walking towards the counter, a helmet under his arm. Given the color of his uniform, he was a member of 3rd class division. Despite having tried his best to get over it quickly, Dante could not help but feel a stab of jealously at the man next to him. He looked about his age and beat him by only a few centimeters in height. If he had trained hard enough for the physical test -REJECT current and any subsequent enlisting attempts… His mind went quiet.

"Name's Erick, you?" The SOLDIER asked. The faintest glow of mako could be seen in his eyes. He probably had not been exposed as strongly yet.

"Dante" he answered, a bit more dryly than intended.

"Chill out man, I know the first days are hard" he gave a friendly pat at Dante's back. "I mean, I though the bullying by the older members was going to stop once I got the first mako shots, but here am I, playing caffeinator too."

"Yeah, I mean, Elena was constantly complaining about having to bring coffee or sandwiches, but she was sent to missions as soon as she completed her training," the barista said while a cloud of vapor emanated from one of the machines.

"She was?" Dante asked eagerly.

"Yeah, well, I don't actually _know_ what the missions were, but she never complained." The barista wrote on the sides of the cups for easy identification and placed them on a cardboard holder.

"Well, off to play caffeinator. And I guess I'll be seeing you around… Um?" Dante said, not knowing the barista's name.

"John" he said, and started preparing Erick's coffee orders.

"Ok then. Bye. And thanks."

Dante went back to the office. As he entered, Freyra (shotgun in hand) and Cissnei (camera with long lens around the neck) left, each taking their coffee cups. He delivered the other cups and went back to reading the employer's manual.

It was plagued with more of the tiny handwritten corrections. Some names were scratched and new ones was haphazardly inserted. Some had an arrow pointing to the margin of the page, where things like "jerk", "hot" or "bring donuts if in need of a favor" were written. The long and redundant jargons, as well as the many names of forms and protocols made Dante regret not bringing coffee for him.

Midway through the day Elena and Reno led him to a floor downstairs, where a large cafeteria could be found. It was restricted to only the Turks and secretaries of heads of departments and other high-ranking members, as well as 2nd and 3rd class SOLDIER members. Reno explained that 1st class and heads of departments had a separate dining area and even more private ones existed for the highest executives of Shin-Ra. The food was not bad, but according to Elena, it was far better than the chow hall for the infantrymen and lower-ranking employees in the lower floors. Much to Dante's chagrin, the table conversation included a hilarious recount of his contract signing the day before. Reno almost choked with his food.

When they returned to the office, they found Rude assembling something in his desk, the lamp directed at his handiwork. Tseng emerged from his office and addressed Dante "you start your training in two hours, report to floor 64 and ask for the trainer. He already has your file."

"I thought we would start shaping him up the hard way, chief" Reno remarked.

"Reno, the kid fainted while running. You expect him to survive hand-to-hand?" Elena pointed out.

"It was hot that day!"

"Good thing the gym has air conditioning, yo"

Later that evening, Dante found himself at the 64th floor gym. Not many people seemed to use it though: the equipment was almost new and only a couple of people could be seen working out. The trainer set him up a workout routine based on Tseng's specific requests given his expected assignments and the SOLDIER physical evaluation ("fainted halfway through?" was mentioned yet again). After an hour and a half of running, squats and frankly pitiful attempts at chin-ups, Dante was beaten. The trainer then told him that a Shin-Ra issued post-workout meal should had been delivered to his room, along with instructions. He also told him that he would see him four days a week and to expect some cramps.

He walked back to the residential floors and spent a good 10 minutes trying to find his apartment before realizing that he was on the wrong floor. When he finally found it and entered, he found that indeed, a box with the company logo printed on the side was waiting for him at the kitchenette counter. Dante opened it and found a mixing bottle and an assortment of large food envelopes. The label on the front stated:

_Standard issue protein and macronutrient powder mix_

_For entry-level, class-5 employees_

_Chocolate flavored_

Protein. He was working out, so it made sense. The workout had left him starving so he decided to ingest it. The back contained only a few instructions for preparation ( _mix with water, take one in the morning and one before sleeping_ ). Pushing back the memory of certain "medical and scientific experimentation permission" he started gulping the liquid. It is only protein, he told himself; the company wouldn't do anything to harm its employees, would it?

While drinking his liquid dinner, Dante decided to start opening the boxes Reno and Rude had delivered. Indeed, they were mostly random things tossed carelessly from his bedroom. He wondered exactly how his family had reacted when the Turks showed up, and what they may have said for his parents to allow them to ransack his bedroom.

Dante had not given too many explanations as to why he was going to Midgar, did not expected himself to be kept there immediately and certainly not under the influence of status effect. With all that happened that day, he forgot to call his home.

After unpacking the boxes, some of which contained bedsheets and part of his clothes, he stumbled upon the box with the things he had on his desk. He decided to leave them there, as he had no desk in his room, or a CD player. As he moved the box to the bottom of his closet, the chocobo plush fell on its side. Something underneath caught Dante's eye: a gift box slightly larger than his fist. There was a label attached to the ribbon that held the box closed. Small calligraphy in the label announced:

D _o not open until you enter SOLDIER_.

-Fran

Dante felt something closing in on his throat. After they had been grounded for the fire incident, they had remained good friends. Their parents were not particularly fond on the idea of them still getting along, as they never decided which one was the bad influence. Dante was well aware Fran's wild and mischievous personality often got them in trouble, but he enjoyed her company nonetheless. She had been the only person that knew, besides his family, that he would attempt to enlist into SOLDIER, and as expected, was the only supportive person in his immediate circle. After he returned from his tests in Junon, he had found the box on his bedroom floor, clearly sent flying through the open window.

" _Well, I did not made SOLDIER, but I guess coffee boy for the Turks is as close as I'll get,"_ he pulled the ribbon and opened the box. A blue glass-like sphere was inside.

"Woah! Is this…!?"

A small note was folded at the bottom of the box:

_Hey Dan-man!_

_I guess you were SOLDIER material after all. I'm happy for you!_

_I found this one on the shop and I thought you may find it useful. It is halfway through its second growth phase, and I hope you have many chances to make it grow to the end._

_A kiss, a hug and a spank_

_-Fran_

_Ps. I demand a picture of you in uniform!  
Ps. #2. almost forgot, it is an ALL materia!_

Dante held the sphere in his fingers. He knew All materia were rare. Maybe he had not made SOLDIER, but this small gesture from his friend made him realize he was now –more than ever- ready to go all out on making the best of this new (and frankly weird) situation.

"Thanks, my friend," he said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SSo a few notes on this chapter:
> 
> I know I had said that the story would happen in the timeframe around the second part of Crisis Core, but then again, I said I was not following any game cannon. Hence, Elena is already with the Turks and Veld still around (I'll explain him later).
> 
> I used this chapter mostly to establish the characters I'll be using. Why Freyra you ask? For once, I wanted to keep the Turk's sex ratio 1:1. Second, the only playthrough I've seen of Before Crisis uses only her as playable character. Therefore, she is the only of the secondary Turks that I know something about (more that can be summarized in a wikia, at least). The name given here is theoretically her cannon name, as she goes simply by"Shotgun (Female)" on the game.
> 
> Thanks for your comments so far! Also, Chapter 4 is ready! I'll be uploading it next week.


	4. Typanophobia

The following two days went on pretty fast. The routine consisted on bringing people's morning coffee and then go make photocopies or run errands for Tseng. After that, Dante would go to the 64th floor gym to continue his workout routine. On the third day, he was sent to the human resources department to have his photo taken for his ID card. It arrived a couple hours later, along with a small box with his Shin-Ra issued PHS. As ordered by Tseng, he immediately added everyone's numbers. To keep the tradition of low-key bullying alive, everyone added Cissnei's photo of Dante's shocked face from his first day as contact photo.

That night, he used his PHS to contact his house. It took him several minutes to calm his mother as to what was he doing and why he was gone for so long. Turned out, Reno and Rude had told his family that Dante had eloped with his rich, older boyfriend and that they were sent in to collect his stuff. After assuring her he had not eloped with anybody (man or woman), he explained his new line of work as best as he could and promised to call soon.

Despite several people's hints, it was not until late in the third day that it was confirmed without doubt that Tseng was the head of department.

"Then, what is Veld's role?" he had asked.

"You are better of not knowing just yet" Elena said.

The fourth day was one he would not forget anytime soon. It started as usual: Cissnei leaving to take photos of Gaia-knew-what with that long camera lens and Freyra to assist in reactor security, loaded shotgun in hand. Then, Tseng entered the office and announced in his usual calm demeanor:

"Rude, Reno: escort Dante to the medical floor for his medical examination and vaccinations."

Although curious, Dante did not ask why he needed two escorts for getting shots. Once in the medical floor he was given a set of green scrubs to change. Dante could not help to think that it was better than those robes that opened from the back.

The exam started fairly normal: vision, hearing and reflex tests. Several blood samples followed and then an electrocardiogram that left hickey-like marks all over his torso. Things started to go awry after that: first, urine samples were required.

"So, um… Are you going to stand there?"

Rude nodded.

"Can you at least turn around?"

Rude shook his head. From outside of the curtain that split the examination room in two, Reno's voice came:

"Company policy, yo. We have to make sure you don't tamper with the sample."

"I get that, but isn't this a bit too much?"

Reno chuckled. "This is just starting. Further down the line there is a DRE waiting for you, yo."

Dante did not know what a DRE was, and he decided he did not want to know right at that moment. It took him long time to produce the sample with Rude looking at him.

Next he was tested for allergies. When the doctor asked if he was allergic to anything, Dante answered truthfully: "nothing that I know of". Just to be sure, a suit of 56 injections on his back followed.

"Good news, you only showed mild irritation to Cactuar sap," the doctor announced when the ordeal was completed.

"Aren't those some rare creatures that can only be found on a Gaia-forgotten island?"

"Better safe than sorry" the doctor announced. "Now, fill this one up," he handed Dante a fist-sized vial after he had put on the shirt of the scrubs again.

"With what?"

"You signed a "Bodily fluid archival consent" didn't you?" the doctor inquired.

Dante recalled Elena's crude description of the contract's purpose. He then turned to Reno and Rude. "You're not required to watch _that_ , are you?"

"Nah. But we can bring you a Sephiroth poster if you need help, yo."

Dante thought things would not get more embarrassing than that. He then found out what a DRE was. It was only made worse by the fact that Reno and Rude were on the other side of the thin curtain, the redhead holding in the laughter at Dante's initial protests and eventual whimpers.

After giving Dante 5 minutes to recover some of his dignity, the doctor returned with a large steel plate covered with a cloth. He was directed to sit on the examination table ("but not too hard, yo") and take off the shirt of the scrubs yet again. The doctor then revealed the contents of the plate: 13 needles of different sizes, filled with a multitude of liquids ranging from clear to amber to toxic green. The first four were small and did not bother Dante. The next three started to burn under his skin a little. The next one felt like a mutant bee sting.

"Shit! What was that?"

"Nibelheim dragon-induced SARS vaccine" the doctor said, as he grabbed an even bigger needle. "Gentlemen, if you may…"

From behind Dante, Rude got hold of his arms and twisted them between his back in a painful hold while Reno held Dante's legs firmly against the examination table.

"Ugh… Wait…" the shot felt like a knife on his shoulder. It was followed by two more similar shots. Dante could not feel his arms anymore when he slumped to his side on the table, his numb hands on rubbing his painfully sore shoulders.

"Next…" the doctor said.

Rude got a hold of Dante's right arm again. In one swift motion he twisted it yet again against his back and pushed him face-first into the examination table. Rude's free hand then began pushing Dante's left shoulder against the table. The shock of finding himself in such position, the soreness on his shoulders and the pain of his arm kept Dante from noticing the moment Reno pulled the elastic waistband of his scrubs, exposing him for the next shot.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Dante said, panicking.

"That's not the safeword, yo" Reno said, as he once again held his legs in place.

The prick of the needle felt like what Dante imagined was being shanked. The liquid itself felt like acid.

"Motherf…!"

"That's not the safeword either, yo"

"Next one…" the doctor interjected.

A second shot like that one followed. Dante's pain screams filled the room. After that, Rude and Reno let go of the quivering and sweat-covered body of their rookie partner.

"Come on young man, we are almost done" the doctor said.

Dante could not imagine anything worse than that. Then _that man_ entered.

He looked like any other doctor in that lab coat, but there was something about his devious-looking face that told Dante the man was not to be trusted. The ominous feeling was only accentuated by the man's long black hair, tied in a ponytail and thick glasses.

"Professor Hojo, glad you could join us," the doctor said.

"Yes, yes, whatever. Let us get this done with, I have work to do"

The name sounded familiar to Dante, but his pain-clouded mind could not pinpoint it.

"Now," Hojo started, "you will receive a set of injections of artificial, hormone-derived, slow-release, in-site acting, performance-enhancing drugs." Dante grunted something that sounded like a "huh?" at the technical explanation.

"You'll be getting juiced up, bro." Reno summarized.

"Yes, that is a _simple_ way of putting it. It would be easier if you could receive the diluted mako injection every other Turk receives, but the in-vitro test of your file shows a high potential of addiction and poor muscular sequestering. Therefore, chief Tseng requested I used the old procedure." His voice was annoying. He spoke as if everybody around him was stupid. "Now, turn him around and hold him down, this will hurt a lot," he finished, no pretenses of concern whatsoever.

Rude and Reno manhandled Dante him face-up. If it had not been clear why Tseng send two other Turks with him, it was now. Hojo was holding a dangerous looking injection gun that held a syringe with the same diameter as a carrot and a needle thick as a pencil core.

Adrenaline kicked in. "No! No! Get that away from me!"

"Come on kid, no pussying out now!" Reno said with a playful tone. He immobilized his legs down while Rude held down one of Dante's arms by the shoulder and forearm.

Hojo started applying the injections with the care and delicacy one gives to a turkey. When he finished on one arm, Rude changed his hold to the other and another injection was delivered there. A stream of curses and screams filled the room for the next two minutes. Several injections were given: two on each arm, two on his chest, one on his abdomen and two on his thighs. He was flipped to his back again and four more shots were delivered to his back, three more on the back of each leg and, to Dante's dismay, two more on his burning shoulders.

"Well, my work here is done," Hojo said. He left without saying anything else after removing the empty syringe from his torture device and tossing it on the bin.

"Crazy sadist, I'm sure he did not mix in the anesthetics, yo." A pained grunt not unlike that of a hurt animal was the response.

After Dante managed to get his clothes back on (no easy task, given that he could not move his hands), Rude carried him over his shoulder to his department and tossed him unceremoniously on his bed. There he slept throughout the following day. When he woke up he found yet another note from Elena pointing that she had left him some take-out food on the fridge ( _do they have a key to my room?_ ). Unfortunately, the microwave was on the top part of the kitchenette and Dante could barely move his shoulders, so he had to eat his food cold.

The next day he was sore and his shoulders were heavily inflamed, no doubt a result of the many injections. He ate cold food again.

The next two weeks were not bad. Dante never really understood what that madman had injected him, but it had drastically improved his performance during his late-night gym session. It also made him eat like crazy; the downside is that he got very restless. He would arrange his papers, then his desk, then the papers by number, then the pens by color, then count the number of staples inside the stapler, then sort the papers alphabetically, then bombard whomsoever was in the office at the moment with questions. They probably noticed, because by the start of the fourth week Tseng decided Dante should start in hand-to-hand combat training. When he announced it one morning Cissnei pulled her planner from the drawer of her desk, observed it for a moment and finally said:

"Hmm. If I take the new recruits photos in the morning and Zack's in the afternoon I'll be back in time for the first session."

"I would not want to miss it either" Elena complemented, while reviewing a mission dossier. After Dante was settled in his office role, Elena was assigned to assist Freyra in reactor security.

Dante's constant fidgeting was making him count the ceiling tiles and that kept him from fully understanding the many possible undertones of that exchange.

The day of his first session started as usual: waking up covered in sweat (something Dante assumed was also Hojo's mystery drugs doing) and then going down to the coffee shop.

"Looks like workout has been paying off" John the barista said that morning, as he steamed some milk.

"It better be after all the stuff Hojo injected me with."

"Woa! You let Hojo put needles in you? You have balls," Erick said while eating a sandwich to Dante's left.

"I though you SOLDIERs let him do that too, with the mako and what-nots," Dante said.

"Whatever it was he put in you it was not as bad as mako," John started. "When the new recruits finish their basic training and boot camp, they get their mako shots and get like, really aggressive and horny. The female employees basically skip work that day."

Dante eyed Erick as to confirm that.

"It is 15 year-old hormones up to eleven; usually the smallest one in the barrack has to, you know, _help_ the others out."

"Ok! Not what I wanted to hear!" Dante grabbed the cardboard holder with the coffee and walked to the office. That popular saying of 'mother knows best' was echoing from somewhere in the back of his head.

That afternoon, Reno and Rude walked with him to one of the training rooms used by SOLDIER members. At that hour, training had ended and the room was empty. Cissnei entered shortly after, her camera hanging across her torso. She was carrying a cardboard box in her arms.

"Ok, kid. Professor Rude and his trusty assistant are on the classroom, yo." Reno announced. _Click_ _click_. Cissnei was taking pictures from one of the benches that surrounded the matted area.

"Shouldn't we change out of the uniform first?" Dante asked.

"Nah. You need to learn to move in that suit, yo. Now, lesson one: blocking." He moved to the side left the arena and Rude turned to face Dante, who quickly pulled up his fists in a poor attempt to adopt a battle stance.

"With Rude? Are you serious?" Dante figure he would at least start with someone his size. "I've never done this before!"

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle," came as response from his opponent. This was followed by a left hook that connected squarely at Dante's right cheek. The clicking sound of Cissnei's camera continued until he hit the mat of the floor.

"I told you to block, yo!"

Dante stood up, his vision blurry. The door of the room opened, Freyra and Elena entered carrying several bags of various snacks in their arms.

"Aw, man! We missed the first punch! I told you we could do without all this."

"Speak for yourself Elena. There's not a thing a candy bar can't make better."

"You are getting distracted, yo!"

Dante realized his mistake too late. Another hook connected with his abdomen, and he collapsed on the mat gasping for breath.

"Maybe you should start by actually showing him how to do it Reno" Cissnei said from the bench. Dante heard an empty thud and the box she was carrying slid across the mat towards them.

"Fine, fine. But he will not learn shit if you keep pampering him, yo!"

Reno opened the box and pulled a simple protection vest, heard guard and padded gloves from it. He tossed them to Dante and waited for him to put them on.

Rude was not holding back, but at least the protection helped dull the following punches. Either that or Dante was sustaining severe nerve damage.

With some corrections from Reno and whatever he could pick from what Freyra and Elena yelled at him from the safety of the bench, Dante started blocking most of Rude's punches or at least, moving out of the way. Then the kicks came.

The first one took Dante by surprise and landed in his solar plexus; pushing him backwards and making him fall on his back. _Click click click._

Dante stood up, a new rush of adrenaline kicking in. He prepared for a similar move, but then, Rude connected a roundhouse kick to his head. It was only made worse by his heavy footwear. The head guard flew in some unknown direction. _Click click click._

"Son of a…" was all Dante managed to say while he tried to stand up again. His vision was blurry now. Trembling, he got back to position again. After many more connected punches and kicks he noticed that for some reason, he could not see with his left eye. After almost two hours of punches, grunts, drops of blood staining the mat and incessant camera clicks, Reno stopped the "lesson".

"Let's call it a day, yo. You look like one of Hojo's failed-experiment dumpster babies."

Dante walked to the bench, where Freyra was offering him a water bottle. He tossed the padded vest and then fell on bench, breathing heavily. _Click click click._

"Would you please stop that Cissnei?"

"Just a reminder of where you started. When you come out of the mat looking like Reno, your training will be complete."

"But he wasn't even taking the beating!"

"And I won't ever, yo. This face does not take punches," Reno said, his mouth full of one of the surviving snacks.

"Tseng says you will alternate your regular workout with getting your ass kicked by Rude from now on," Freyra said.

"Did he now?"

"Not with those words exactly," she acknowledged.

"Alright, stop complaining and don't move," Elena said, her glove glowing green again as she approached. Dante flinched in response, not sure of what to expect from her. To his surprise, she started casting a cure spell. Warmth extended across his face, tiny pinches pulling his open skin close. "Well, cure won't do much against bruises, but at least you don't look like daddy had too much to drink."

"Daddy? Or his boyfriend?" Reno added with a playful grin.

"About that Reno… Fuck you."

"Love you too kid."

"Ohh, PR will like this one" Cissnei said in a hushed voice to Elena and Freyra. They were reviewing the pictures of the day in the camera screen.

* * *

Some days later, while Dante was picking up coffee in the morning, John pointed to a new poster in one of the walls. "You are famous now, man." He said with a grin.

The poster was a large print of one of Cissnei's pictures: the one that showed Dante on the bench after the training. He walked to the poster and saw the print: his hair a sweaty mess, left eye painfully swollen, a busted lip and a trickle of dried blood on top of his lip.

"What in Ifrit's flaming hell!?" Dante's hands were on the back of his head. The poster read in brig red letters:

_It could be you next time._

_Report hazing and abuse to you superiors._

"Anything else?" John said behind him. He was carrying the cardboard holder with the drinks for his partners.

"Yeah… Do you keep laxatives around?" Dante asked while eyeing the coffee cups, an evil grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abusing Dante has gone physical! He should run away while he can!
> 
> Also, Hojo appears with his sleazy hands! Truth be told, I've seen him do much worse, but hey! At least he is helping Dante get in shape! Too bad for the side effects of his drugs, though. Next chapter is complete and will be posted next weekend!
> 
> Thanks for your comments so far! I hope you are enjoying this story. Let me know what you think and if there is something you'd recommend me to improve it. Thanks!


	5. Of SOLDIERs and madness

It had been two weeks since Dante started his hand-to-hand combat lessons. While progress was being made, he still required some materia-assisted healing one in a while. One day, Elena and Freyra did not return in time from their reactor-guarding assignments and Dante had to keep a bruised cheek the following days, as materia could not properly heal wounds that had been healing for themselves for too long.

"It's ironic..." John started the next morning, while making a leaf pattern with milk foam on a cup.

"What is?"

"That after training you end up looking like a slave trade victim while being the poster boy for workplace violence" the blond barista said with a smile.

"Agh, zip it! It was bad enough when those posters appeared, but now people may end up actually believing that I'm being abused or something."

"Well… Aren't you?"

Dante did not answer because somehow, he knew John was probably right. He _was_ making progress, but Reno's reluctance to at least provide him with face protection made the whole affair quite painful.

A couple days later Dante woke up feeling cheerful: for the first time in days, his face was bruise-free. He brushed his teeth, got into his suit (which he was starting to really like), styled his hair backwards (he made a mental note to get a haircut) and then went to the office. As usual, he went to get coffee for everyone. After delivering the caffeinated beverages to his partners, Dante was called to Tseng's office.

"I have an important assignment for you" he pulled a set of closed yellow envelopes, "I need you to go down to the SOLDIER floor, and deliver these to General Sephiroth." He then pulled a metal briefcase from under the desk and tossed the envelopes inside. Tseng closed the metallic box and inserted a numeric combination.

He offered the briefcase to Dante, who grabbed it by the handle, but Tseng did not let go of it immediately.

"You are _not_ to let this out of your hand. And you _will_ deliver it to General Sephiroth _and only_ to Sephiroth."

"Y-yes sir"

"Floor 49. Though, you may find him in floor 51."

Dante nodded and left the frosted glass office. Cissnei and Reno were in their desks.

"What you got there, yo?"

"Some documents for General Sephiroth."

"Ugh, the SOLDIER floor," Cissnei said. She pulled from her desk a spare fighting glove and then walked behind Elena's desk, to a file cabinet. From there she pulled a pair of green materia and placed it in the slots of the glove. "You'll want to take this." _Strike one._

"Is there something I need to know about the SOLDIER floor?"

"They don't like us. But they'll probably know that you are new and stay away, yo."

"Probably…?" _Strike two._

Neither one answered, so he took the glove, just in case. It held a Time and a Seal materia.

Although Dante should have been disturbed by the tone they used, he could not help but feel hyped about meeting Sephiroth. Whether he accepted it or not, he had seen a lot of SOLDIER propaganda centered on him and the other 1st class members. In the end, he was as much a fanboy as any other of the candidates that took the tests in Junon all those weeks ago.

While going down, the elevator door opened, and Erick entered carrying some coffee cups, his helmet under the arm, as usual.

"Going down?" he asked.

"Actually I'm delivering this to Sephiroth, so I guess we are both going to the same floor."

"They sent you _alone_ to the SOLDIER floor?" _Strike three._

"Come on! What is the deal with the SOLDIER floor? Why was I given materia to deliver documents –Dante waved the glove in Erick's face– and why do they not like Turks?" The elevator stopped and the door opened on the 49th floor.

It was a battlefield.

A multitude of office supplies and more dangerous objects (i.e. knives, helmets and even broadswords) passed flying periodically across the floor. A fire ball flew across the room and into the elevator. Had Erick not pulled Dante out of the way, a bruise would have been the least of his concerns. Desks, chairs and even flowerpots were overturned and piled on two barricades on opposite sides of the floor.

"And I'm telling you idiot! Thundaga is better!"

"Your helmet must be too tight! Firaga is what real men use!"

A series of unintelligible yells erupted from both sides of the conflict and more objects were sent flying.

"That argument? Again!? Those idiots never learn!" Erick had pulled Dante to a squat position. He put the coffee cups on top of the briefcase and put on his helmet. Then, he began reaching for a sword that was lying outside of the elevator. When he got hold of the handle he attached it to the magnetic holder on the straps of his back.

"Ready? Stick close and don't raise you head"

Erick grabbed the coffee cups and began walking in his squat position, sticking to the walls, which Dante noticed, were cracked and covered with stains and sword gashes. Dodging whatever flew at them and keeping the briefcase undamaged proved a challenge; finally he gave up and began covering his head with the metal box. Erick reached to one of the officers that was yelling from behind his desk and delivered him the coffee cups.

Their crawling went on, occasionally stopped by a stray bolt of electricity or fireball. They finally arrived at another office across the floor and Erick took a peek through the glass. He practically yelled at Dante over the mayhem:

"He's not here, man! Sephiroth is probably on the director's office two floors up!"

"What!? We have to go back to the elevator!?"

"Down!" He grabbed Dante's shoulder and pushed him towards the carpet, his face smacking hard against the cold briefcase in his arms. In one swift motion, Erick pulled his sword and split in half a chair that was sent flying in their direction.

"Aw man! Sorry!" Erick yelled. Dante felt a warm liquid dripping from his nose.

"Never mind that, I need to deliver this blasted thing!"

A ball of fire engulfed a bystander plant on one of the corners of the office.

"We'll have to sprint to the stairs on the other side! It will be easier than returning to the elevator"

A bright light flashed momentarily in the room, followed by someone yelling "you'll pay for that you son of a bitch!"

"The door to the stairs is at two o'clock, I'll cover you!" Erick readied his sword. Dante slid his precious cargo under his arm and prepared.

"Go!"

They began their escape, keeping their heads low. Erick swiped his sword at some of the flying debris. In the middle of their path, a 3rd class SOLDIER suddenly stood in their way. En route to crash into him and with Erick focused on the many whatnots flying in the room, Dante decided to give a try to his glove. He focused on the Sleep spell of the materia and casted straight at the sword-wielding man: he fell on his knees and then hard on his face. They jumped over the body of the unconscious man and made the final dash to the stairs.

They reached the door and Dante pushed the emergency handle. The door opened at the time someone outside yelled "Blizzaga forever bitches!" They just felt a rush of cold air as the door closed behind them.

They stood in the stair shaft for a moment, catching their breath. Dante noticed a couple of secretaries and lab coat-wearing technician were taking refuge in there too. One of the secretaries pulled a tissue package from her purse and offered it to Dante.

"Thanks." He began wiping the blood from under his nose. "So, does this happen often?"

"Kinda. Sometimes it is over what baseball team is the best; sometimes over whether chocobo races are fixed or not; vanilla or chocolate. You pick." Erick said with a dejected grin.

Dante started walking with his companion up the stairs. The battle sounds muffled increasingly as they climbed upward to the 51st floor. When they arrived, Dante and Erick fixed their uniforms as best as they could and entered the floor.

The secretaries working there were unfazed to see the bloody-nose Turk and the SOLDIER with disheveled and dirty uniforms emerge from the stairs shaft. Trying to maintain a professional demeanor, Dante grabbed the briefcase by the handle and walked straight, as he had seen Tseng do.

They arrived at an office that had another quick-fix paper held in place with tape. This one read "General Sephiroth. Chief of SOLDIER."

As if on cue, just as Erick was about to knock on the door, a deep voice emanated through the door:

"For the last time Zack! _Where_ is the last mission report?"

"Calm down Sephiroth! Like I said, I was writing it, but then Cloud came feeling a bit down and…"

"I am NOT interested in knowing what you do with that cadet boy-toy of yours!"

"You too!? I'm not making the move on him! Those are rumors started by the fic writers of my fan club!" A glass shattered against a wall somewhere inside the office.

"You have one hour! ONE HOUR!"

Hurried steps preceded the exit of a black-haired 1st class member with a scared face. He gave a quick nod of acknowledgment to Erick (who quickly stood in attention with a quick "sir!") and rand down the hall before disappearing into an office.

They entered the office and Erick announced:

"Agent Dante from the Turks, sir!"

The General was sitting on a very luxurious office. It was probably what Veld's office could be, if he were not there doing Gaia-knows-what and Tseng actually had the office, that is.

"Come in," was his response.

Dante approached the desk, trying to suppress the smile of actually being in front of THE Sephiroth. He watched the Turk inquisitively, tapping his gloved fingers on the desk. Dante realized one second too late he was staring into the mako-green eyes of the general.

"So…?"

"Ah! Chief Tseng sends these documents for you, sir." Dante said, with a pitch a bit higher that his usual speaking voice. He placed the briefcase in the desk of the general, who reached for it and eyed the numeric lock.

"I assume he did not provide you with the combination"

"N-no sir, he did not" Dante gulped.

Sephiroth picked up the receiver of the phone and dialed some numbers.

"Yes, he is here. Yes, it is still locked. No, you can ask him yourself, he is your subordinate." The general rubbed his temple in exasperation and then asked Dante: "he wants to know what took you so long."

"There was a riot on the SOLDIER floor; it took us some time to get through, sir."

"Apparently there was a… WHAT!?" Sephiroth's eyes glowed green. "I'll call you back. No, I will not cut open the briefcase. I do no care if it is the last one you have!" He hanged the phone and looked at Erick with anger "YOU! You were aware of the situation on the floor below and failed to inform your immediate superior officer!"

"He is aware, sir. On the Firaga side."

"They are at that again!? Fucking idiots! Go find Captain Kunsel, tell him to go control the situation or so help me!"

"Sir!" Erick left quickly.

"And you!"

Dante faced Sephiroth again, he did not register whether a "meep" escaped his mouth or not.

"I know that Shin-Ra will make publicity out of anything I or the other 1st Class SOLDIERs do, but tell whosoever is taking those photos to have some respect for my privacy!"

"Sir, I don't know wha…"

A long katana was suddenly resting on Dante's right shoulder, the edge facing his neck. The movement had been so fast that if he did not knew better, he would have sworn the weapon materialized out of thin air. The Silver General spoke:

"I am talking about the fan club photos. The vast majority of them are taken inside of the company building and I _know_ they are being taken by one of your fellow Turks. I want you to inform that I will not hesitate in killing them if I find them near me." The tip of the sword was now pressing his neck through the knot of his tie.

"Y-yes, sir!" Dante gulped with difficulty.

"Now, get out before I decide to kill you and send that message in writing along with your head." He withdrew Masamune in a swift motion, and Dante's tie fell to the floor split in two pieces. He did not need be told twice. In a sprint he left the office and hit hard against the wall on the other side of the hallway.

Dante started his walk to the elevator and ran into Erick again.

"So, how was it?"

"Is he always so… Angry?"

"He used to be much calmer, but then Lazard was fired and he had to take over the administrative duties too. He developed a short fuse since then."

They arrived at the elevator and waited for the door to open. When they entered, a 2nd class SOLDIER carrying several fire extinguishers followed.

"Down! Down!"

"Captain, Sir!" Erick stood in attention and then pushed the button to the 49th floor. Dante did not protest, given the chaos below and the number of fire extinguishers, he was surprised no smoke alarm had gone off yet. Also, he knew that in tall buildings, people above a floor on fire were usually trapped, and the Turks office happened to be in floor 58.

When they arrived the argument was settled, but one of the barricades was on fire. Not waiting to be ordered, Erick grabbed one of the extinguishers and rushed with the captain to empty the white fog on the pile of desks. While they were at it, Dante began unloading the other extinguishers from the elevator. When he was done, he could not keep himself from thinking how awesome it was to be as strong as a SOLDIER: each of the red cylinders was surprisingly heavy, and yet, the captain had been carrying five or six of them without breaking a sweat.

Dante was snapped out of his thoughts when something hit him on the back of the head. It was a half-empty soda can: its sticky contents drenched the back of his already dirty uniform. He turned to find the assailant and saw another 3rd class member pointing at him, anger in his face.

"Hey Turk! What are ya doin' here? We told that red-headed jerk we would kick the ass of the next one of you that dared come here!"

Leave it to Reno to make enemies for him.

"Look, I am not interested in knowing what your problem with him is, or with the rest of us for that matter."

"Came here looking for trouble, huh? First you get Director Lazard sacked and then you come mock us! You have some nerve coming here!" Another 3rd class said.

"Whatever. I'll leave you two ladies to clean your mess." Dante had no idea where that came from. He started walking to the elevator.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" One of the SOLDIERs walked to meet him, reaching to the sword on his back.

Dante moved away just in time to avoid the blade of the sword. A tearing sound revealed he was not completely successful: the sleeve of his jacket was open from his forearm to his bicep. That was it. In less than one hour he had his nose bleeding, had been almost been burned and/or electrocuted, been covered in soot, dirt and soda, Sephiroth had threatened him _and_ made him two ties and now this jerk teared his jacket with a fucking sword. His glove began glowing.

"What the…?"

A Stop spell was cast from the Time materia in the glove, and the berating SOLDIER stood completely still, shock frozen in his face. Dante then connected a roundhouse kick that knocked out the aggressor. He felt a sharp pain on his kicking ankle: the SOLDIER helmet was much more solid than it looked.

He resumed a limping walk to the elevator and hit the button to floor 58. Some curious faces –including Erick's– poked to from see who had knocked out their comrade.

"You son of a…!" the other sweeping SOLDIER started.

"You are all fucking insane, you know that!?" Dante interrupted him as the doors of the elevator closed.

The trip upwards seemed to take a long time. The elevator stopped a couple of times before floor 58. In both occasions, when the people saw the visibly pissed off, disheveled Turk with the dirty and ripped suit they opted to let the doors close without climbing.

When he entered the office Cissnei and Reno looked at him.

"Man, you look like…"

"Zip it Reno. Cissnei, what exactly do you photograph all day long?"

"Mostly the first class SOLDIERs for Shin-Ra propaganda and the fan clubs. When there are new recruits I take pictures of the cute ones for a women's magazine" she said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Should have imagined… Now, I don't know how far you go, but Sephiroth says that he will kill anybody he finds taking pictures of him."

"Does he know it is _I_ who takes the pictures?"

"No, but…"

"Then I'm safe! Now, if you excuse me, it won't be long before the 2nd class members hit the showers." She grabbed her camera and left.

Dante let a sight. He turned to Reno. "So, why did we sack Lazard?"

"They're still on that? Guy was embezzling, yo. We had to arrange a sting operation. Some of the SOLDIERS were not convinced, so they say we framed him. By the way, the doctor sent you these pills a couple days ago, he said you really should be taking them or…"

He was interrupted when the door opened again. Elena and Freyra entered.

"Damn! You look like Leviathan chewed and spit you"

"Not now Freyra. Please." Dante said with a truly pleading tone. He was developing a headache by now.

Tseng opened the door: "Dante, did you assault a SOLDIER member?"

"Damn kid! And here I was thinking you were a pushover, yo! Wait! This is what the medicine is about, yo!"

"Do not encourage this behavior Reno. Once again I am without an agent that can set foot on that floor." He eyed Dante's war-survivor appearance. "On the other hand, you better have left him worse than you look. I will not tolerate wimps in my department."

The door behind Tseng opened and Veld emerged. He looked at Dante and then yelled:

"Vincent! You are alive!"

"Wha…?" Dante turned around, trying to find this Vincent guy. When he turned back, Veld was in front of him. He was shaking him violently by the shoulders.

"Where have you been? By Gaia! It has been years! They kept telling me you eloped with that Lucrecia woman, but I knew better! Now come, we have to stop AVALANCHE!"

"Sir…" Could this day get any worse for Dante? The shaking was not helping his headache.

"Bad day alert!" Freyra yelled above the commotion.

Elena reached from behind Veld and smacked the back of his head with her glowing hand. Veld slumped against Dante, asleep.

Dante and Reno carried the unconscious man back to his office, where they lay him on his chair, leaning on the desk.

"What was that all about? Who is Vincent?" Dante asked.

"Well… He was a friend of his back in the day, yo."

Elena showed him the picture hat was always in the shrine of the office. It showed a man with black hair and pale face. He was wearing a Turk uniform.

"He went missing years ago. Nobody found him or the scientist woman he was dating. He had been entrusted with her protection." Freyra interjected, casually slipping a pill from an orange bottle in Veld's coffee cup. "Everyone assumed they eloped together."

"That took a toll on him. And after the Corel incident he went gaga, yo" Reno was impregnating the rim of a glass of water with some unknown liquid from a dropper.

"Unfortunately, we could not convince him that he was no longer fit for duty, so he stayed here. He still thinks he is the boss, but I took over his role." Tseng said. He directed them all out of the office. "It was dangerous for Shin-Ra to have an unstable man that had so much inside knowledge walking around, so we keep him here under medication." He closed the door when everyone had left.

Unbelievably, Dante's day had gone even worse. The man in the picture had clearly been a very close friend and Dante's disheveled hair (that vaguely made him resemble Vincent) probably triggered some memory. It was horrible, to be under heavy medication and… Then it hit him.

"Wait a Gaia-dammed minute!" Dante was connecting dots in his mind. "Are you telling me that the mentally unstable, heavily drugged former chief selected the possible candidates to work here from the SOLDIER rejects?"

His partners made puzzled faces.

"Good question. How did that happened chief?" Elena asked.

"Well, there was a new secretary in Heidegger's office that was not aware of our… _Situation_ ," Tseng explained. "There was a mix up in the paperwork and she delivered Veld's selection to Heidegger, who approved the candidates believing I had chosen them. We had to play along for once."

"So my hiring was an accident!?" his day was adding insult to injuries. Dante's pulse was skyrocketing.

"Not an accident, but certainly the lesser evil among three much less qualified individuals." Tseng stated.

" _Two_ much-less qualified individuals. Remember the one that drowned? He used a Thunder materia in a pool, yo. That was just plain stupid." Reno chuckled.

"I can't believe you people! You are telling me that you got stuck with me because the crazy ex-chief fucked up paperwork! That is just! Arrg!" Dante walked to the door of the office in blind rage. He came face to face with Rude when he opened the door. "You! You are coming with me to the training room! I'm gonna beat your ass!"

"I knew you'd end up liking it." Rude said. They left.

The other Turks stared at each other. Dante was never angry, no matter the amount of low-key insults, beatings and plain annoyances they subjected him to.

"Aw shit! His medicine, yo!"

"What medicine?" Freyra asked.

"This doctor said he needed to take these Remedies to counter the side effects of Hojo's shots! Without them he'll be berserk 24/7, yo!"

"Are you telling me a roid-raged Dante is about to fight with Rude?" Elena asked.

The realization hit them.

"I'll get snacks, see you there!" Freyra darted out of the room.

"Where is Cissnei's spare camera, yo?"

"I'll call her, let's just go Reno!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! Sephiroth, Zack and Kunsel appear!
> 
> I read all your comments and suggestions, so I was excited to post this one since I read someone requesting Sephiroth. Back then the chapter was halfway done, so I added the sword scene to set-up something else I'll use later.
> 
> I usually start with a short prompt and then build upon it. When I started posting, I had had about 12 of those promps, now I'm past 20! I just hope I can build upon all of them equally... Many include the game's characters, I just need to think on how to implement them into the story... Rufus is proving to be difficult, so I'll leave him for later, but he is in the pipeline!
> 
> I hope you are enjoying this story. Thanks for reading everyone!


	6. Anger issues

The fight between Rude and berserk-Dante was the talk of the week. By the time Freyra reached the training rooms, snacks in hand, Reno and Elena were already placing bets with some of the infantrymen and SOLDIERS that were in the room when they started. Even the instructors that complained the Turks had use of the room until the evening joined in.

Dante held surprisingly well for about 10 minutes. After that, Rude got the best of him and KO'd him with a left hook that Cissnei arrived just in time to add to her photo collection.

After collecting their earnings, Rude and Reno dragged Dante's limp body to his room. Reno then decided to keep the Remedy from Dante for "a few more days", just to see what would happen.

The Turks were aware that the Berserk status would slowly creep on, so the following days they enjoyed guessing the time it would be when Dante snapped and went to berate whosoever was in the training room at the moment. Despite Tseng's advices not to keep pushing the issue, they went on putting tacks on his chair, sent him to look for non-existing people in other floors and called to Dante's PHS from burner phones to ask for imaginary pizza shops, funeral homes, hardware stores and brothels.

One day Dante snapped after finding a Mideel tarantula in his drawer. He gave them all a proverbial (and literal) middle finger and left for the training room. The fun was cut short half an hour later when they received notice that Dante was beating the living crap out of a class of 16 young SOLDIER cadets that had the misfortune of being in the training room at the time. It took Rude, Reno and Freyra a lot of effort to get near him and put him to sleep.

The next day he showed up red-eyed, with disheveled hair and…

"By Odin's spear! He's not wearing the tie!" Elena said in a hushed voice to Cissnei.

_Click click._

"Put that fucking camera away Cissnei!"

"Woa, not even past 9, yo…"

"I'll get 9 inches of that EMR up yours if you don't zip it, Reno!"

Of all the things Dante said and did, it was decided it was not fun anymore only when he refused to go get coffee. They wanted (needed) old pushover Dante back. Under pressure from his partners Reno went down to get everyone's coffee. He was planning on slipping the Remedy in the drink. While waiting for John to make the orders he mused on the last week. It was fun to have another male partner. Rude would always listen to his devious stories but rarely commented on them and Tseng may have been carved in stone for that matter. Elena and Freyra were still in charge of reactor security and Cissnei's endless clandestine photoshoots left him with only Dante to talk to. Who was he kidding? He liked angry Dante! There was no way he was going to…

"Hi" a voice said next him. A pretty woman in a business suit was standing next to him.

"Hey. Never seen you around. You new here, yo?"

"I started in accounting a few weeks back. You are with the Turks, aren't you?" she gave an innocent smile.

"What gave it away?" Reno replied with a lopsided smile, one eyebrow high.

"Well, your reputation precedes you," she tucked a lock of stray hair behind her ear.

"Does it? Man, I wonder if I can live up to it, yo…"

"Oh, I bet you can." Steam emanated with a hiss from one of John's machines.

"Name's Reno"

"Milla. Say, what about your friend? Does he live up to, the _hype_?" A gargling sound came from behind the counter.

"What friend?" Reno eyed her curiously. He did not like were this was going.

John handed her a cup of coffee. She took it without noticing that the barista had his face contorted, suppressing laughter.

"You know. The one with dark hair. Crazy eyes. Devil-may-care attitude. Those that have seen him in the training room say he's… _Wild._ " She took a sip from her cup, looking at Reno.

"Oh, him… Yeah, he's not always like that… He's been, stressed lately, yo."

"Well, when you see him, would you give him my number?" She slipped a card in the breast pocket of his suit. "I bet I can help him with that." She walked to the door. "See you later John. Bye Nino" Reno looked at her walk away. He turned to John to collect his order.

"By the way, I have five of those cards for Dante: a girl from human resources, two from weapons development and a couple of SOLDIERs; I dunno if he swings that way, but just in case…"

_That does it!_

He slipped two Remedies in the coffee, just for good measure. Nobody stole Reno's place as desirable Turk number one.

When he arrived back at the office chaos had erupted again: Cissnei and Tseng were holding Dante, who in turn had grabbed Veld by the lapel of his suit and was yelling at him, face red in anger.

"For the last time old man! I'm not Vincent!"

"Dante! Get a hold of yourself!" Cissnei yelled, trying to pull him back from his arm.

"Reno! Help us!" Tseng yelled from behind Dante's back, arms around the torso of his new agent.

"Vincent! Please! What did those AVALANCHE monsters did to you!? This is not like you!"

"Of course it's not like me you old fool! I'M NOT VINCENT!"

Reaching for his desk (not an easy task given the chaos in the office) Reno got a hold of his EMR, pressed against the nape of Dante's neck and shocked him like there was no tomorrow. The rookie fell down unconscious on the carpet.

"What was that all about, yo?"

"You idiot! You killed him!" Veld cried.

"No chief, he's just unconscious" Cissnei said, but attempting to reason with the man was a lost cause. Thankfully, Freyra entered to the office at that moment, Elena following close by.

"I told you to double-check you had all your stuff! How come you forget- what the hell happened here!?" the brunette exclaimed.

"He killed Vincent! He had finally managed to escape AVALANCHE! And he killed him!" Veld pointed at Reno, EMR still in hand.

"All right chief, this is for your own good" Elena approached him and as always, used her trusty Sleep spell.

After they dragged back Veld to his office and placed the medications in the water, they returned to Dante, who was still unconscious face-first on the carpet.

"All right, here are the things that upset me: our rookie, in the middle of a roid-rage, assaulted our mentally unstable ex-chief, resulting in two unconscious people in the office. To top it off, we are still out of coffee at 10" Tseng said casually, while redoing his messy ponytail. "And it is your fault, Reno," he added.

"I know, I know, chief. I'll give him the Remedy when he wakes up." They placed Dante on his desk and let him to wake up.

When he started coming to his senses, Cissnei, Elena, Freyra, Reno and Rude were ready.

"The fuck is this? An intervention?" Dante asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, pretty much, yo. Rude, get him!"

Not even berserk Dante was a match for Rude's back holds. They dropped to the floor tossing and kicking. Elena prepared a Sleep spell, just in case, while Freyra aimed her rubber buckshot-loaded shotgun at them. Cissnei was just taking pictures.

"Let go of me you idiot"

Once he was secured, arms to his back, Reno approached with the Remedy in his hand.

"Now, open up and swallow," Rude said from behind Dante.

"Rude! Phrasing, yo!"

"Cut the crap Rude! I can feel your dick pressing on my back!"

"Man, I hope no one's listening outside" Freyra interjected.

"Just hurry up Reno!" _Click click._

After forcing the Remedy down his throat, Elena casted Sleep yet again. When Dante fell asleep again, face first on the carpet, Freyra shot him in the back. Rubber balls bounced across the office.

"That was unnecessary" Elena said.

"I had already loaded the rubber shots, might as well try one" she said innocently.

Rude and Reno took Dante to his room and returned to the office. This time, the medicine was left with a little note on the kitchen counter.

The following day, Dante arrived in his usual calm self, hair styled to the back and tie on his uniform. It was as if nothing had happened. He gladly went to get everyone coffee, had a friendly chat with John and blushed to the advances of an unknown woman from accounting. When he came back, Tseng called Dante to his office.

"I think you are ready for weapon training."

"Now? But, I haven't finished hand-to-hand training sir."

"Oh, I think you have… There are 16 SOLDIER cadets that say you have. Besides, Rude is looking kind of drained lately."

"16 cadets? I… Don't know what you are talking about, sir."

"Never mind that. But for the love of Gaia: keep taking the Remedies as instructed."

The following day Reno was assigned to reactor security with Elena so that Freyra could start weapon training.

The shooting range was located in one of the lower floors of the building. Dante followed Freyra to the boot at the end of the hall, where a large weapons crate was awaiting. Freyra placed her index finger in a reader on the front and after a soft _beep_ the lid opened.

The box was filled with an assortment of weapons: handguns of various sizes, a shotgun like Freyra's, a Shin-Ra standard-issue assault rifle, machine pistols, hand grenades, a sniper rifle and…

"Can we try that one?" Dante pointed eagerly at the RPG at the bottom of the crate.

Freyra slapped his pointing hand. "Learn to walk first kid, leave that for later". She pulled a handgun with a neon-orange tip from the crate and offered it to Dante.

"This… Is a toy."

"Indeed, a very accurate toy, I want you to familiarize with it and it's inner workings before I give you the real thing. I'm not nearly as irresponsible as Reno when it comes to teaching."

"And still you would shoot me at point-blank with rubber bullets"

She pointed the gun and fired a plastic BB at Dante's stomach. It stung, but from that to one of Rude's kicks, he would gladly take the toy gun.

"Ok, I get it. Do not question the teacher."

"Atta boy," she said with a big smile.

Behind them, the door opened again and several technicians in lab coats entered carrying an assortment of crates, laptops and cables. The started assembling something in one of the boots.

"Um, excuse me. I had reserved the shooting range for training today." Freyra said to the people in lab coats.

"Sorry ma'am. We were ordered by Madam Scarlet herself. She wants this tested today." One of them said.

"Tsk, whatever. But I won't be held responsible if the rookie here shoots one of you by accident."

She then started instructing Dante in safety, assembling and cleaning and the basics of aiming. They started practicing with the toy gun. Although Dante felt rather silly using it, he did not complain. The door opened again.

"Kya, ha, ha! Marvelous! Are we ready to test?" the woman spoke. Dante supposed she was Scarlet, the head of Weapons Development. He then wondered what was up with her outfit. She looked as if she had just come out of a cocktail party with her professionally styled blond hair and makeup, that deep-V red dress and designer high heels. Dante then noticed what the technicians had been assembling. It looked like a rifle, but at the same time like something out of a sci-fi magazine: tubes and wires came out of it and plugged to the various computers that had been set up on boxes around it. Transparent blast screens were placed on either side of the device, protecting the computers and people.

"Damn, she's at it again…" Freyra whispered.

"Everything is ready ma'am," one of the technicians said.

"Excellent! Bring in the test subject." At her command, one of the builders left the room, only to return shortly with a member of the infantry, followed by a large man with a thick beard in a green military uniform.

"Goodness, what are you doing here Heidegger?" the woman spoke, deep contempt in her voice.

"You are using _my_ infantrymen to experiment, and if this glorified toaster of yours works I'll want it ASAP in my army" the man answered.

"Ugh, I told the President this was a prototype. I don't want you misreporting my advances."

"Might as well, at least your _advances_ will not have been ignored by a man, for once."

"In that case I'll let you. Gaia knows when the last time was you could say a woman spoke to you."

Dante eyed Freyra, who was obviously amused at the comebacks those two pulled at each other. They continued the lesson, although both of them were probably paying more attention to the experiment. The infantryman was directed to the stock of the huge rifle. One of the technicians spoke:

"Miniature Mako Cannon, prototype number 014. Experimental fire test number 1."

The device let out a strange humming sound and then fired a strong beam of light from the barrel. The recoil, however, pushed the entire weapon and its user backwards. The stock of the gun pressed the infantryman's shoulder against the wall behind, a sickening _crunch_ emanating before a scream of pain followed suit. The beam blasted the test dummy that was on the other side of the range and blackened the wall, ceiling and floor around it.

"Kya, ha, ha! Success! If we adjust the potency and focus on a narrower beam, we may get a more powerful shot with less recoil!"

"I… I can't feel my arm!" the infantryman said on the floor.

"Gya, ha, ha! Magnificent! How long until you have a test type?"

"Do not push me, Heidegger. I need a few more shots before I can make an informed decision. Bring me another man!"

The technicians pulled –dragged– the injured infantryman out of the shooting range and returned with another one. The process repeated itself in the same way with that one and the following three subjects until…

"What do you mean no more?"

"That's right ma'am, all the infantrymen have escaped!" a hurried technician said.

"Must be hard having those men run away, but I'm sure you are used to it by now."

"Well Heidegger, at least I don't have to pay for their company before they do."

Scarlet then turned around until she faced Dante and Freyra.

"You!" she said, pointing at Dante, "come here, I want you to fire this for me."

"Wha- But I am just starting training here, ma'am."

"Don't be silly, all I need you to do is to come over and move a finger."

"Is that your typical pick-up line or he's just lucky?" Heidegger mused.

"Is that new secretary of yours really into it or she's just another settlement waiting to happen?" she snapped back.

Dante was still standing, his mouth open at the exchange. Where those two really heads of departments? From behind him, he heard Freyra whisper "those two outrank Tseng, you really can't refuse."

Dante walked to the gun and readied himself behind the shoulder-crushing device.

"Miniature Mako Cannon, prototype number 014. Experimental fire test number 6." A technician announced.

Dante prepared and pulled the trigger. The stock of the cannon pushed back hard but luckily did not smash him against the wall. The beam that came out this time was thinner and shorter, but not less devastating.

"Kya, ha, ha! Just as I expected! All right people, gather all the data from the last shot. We are ready for making a test model!"

"Gya, ha, ha! I'll put it in the next mission as soon as it is ready. This will really help with those pesky Wutaian cells."

The two left with a stream of annoying laughs and snappy replies to each other's comments. Whether they hated or liked each other was unknow to Dante. Without more distractions, the Turks continued their lesson. After a few hours, she finally let him fire live rounds to the test dummy that survived Scarlet's tests. They put on ear protection and Dante began firing.

While it certainly was not as easy as videogames and TV made it look, Dante got the hang of it quickly. They tossed the guns in the crate and went for lunch in the upper floors. On the way down they stopped for coffee.

"Do I smell the metallic scent of burned gunpowder?" John said when they approached.

"How did you know?" Dante asked.

"Dante, my dear friend, when you serve coffee you hear a lot of things from everyone. And I just heard some technicians from weapons development saying that "the cute new Turk" was trying one of Scarlet's new gizmos." The blond barista said with a grin. Dante blushed at the remark.

"What's up with that… and with that Milla woman in the morning"

"You really don't remember, do you?" Freyra asked.

"Remember what?"

"It appears the drugs that Hojo injected you with come with a side effect: if you go too long without taking a Remedy you will get Berserk and beat the living crap out of anyone that is nearby."

"What!? How come nobody told me that? Are you telling me I could hurt someone in blind rage?"

"Are you telling me that you don't remember? You already knocked out a SOLDIER, 16 cadets _and_ their instructor and even Veld. Hell, Rude was having trouble holding you back!" Freyra said, taking a sip from her coffee cup.

"What!? When did that happen? Holy shit! I hurt Veld!? I know he is not the boss, but still! And what does any of that have to do with that Milla woman?"

"You'll find out eventually" John said with a smile while offering Dante his coffee cup. "Also, you may want to stay away from a red-head 3rd Class SOLDIER and the blond girl with curly hair from human resources."

"Huh?"

"We are running late!" Freyra interrupted, a bright smile on her face. "Now: shotgun training! And if you don't _love_ _it_ I'll empty another rubber round in you," she then dragged Dante out of the coffee shop and into the elevator.

* * *

The following days, Freyra instructed Dante on the use of sub-machine guns, assault rifles and sniper rifles. Despite her insistence, he was not particularly fond of shotguns and this "betrayal" earned him a rubber shot to the back.

After two more weeks of a combination of practical and theoretical lessons, Tseng announced that he was ready for "the test".

One evening, they all went down to one of the basement levels. In a hallway, they stopped in front of a large shuttle door that read "Tactical Training Facility" on top.

"All right Dante. This is it. Consider it your final test before you can be sent into field missions," Tseng said. "The test is very simple: the inside of this facility is a maze of corridors and open areas, there is room for cover, hiding and climbing. Your objective is to fing three separate keycards to exit thought this same door."

"Just that? Finding cards and leaving?" Dante asked, although he knew that it was not going to be just as easy.

"Of course not, yo. There are a few things in there waiting for you," the red head said with a grin.

"You are allowed to carry one weapon with one reload and up to three materia with you," Elena said. "You will not have access to Ether, Potions or extra ammo while inside, so you must ration what you have carefully." She then handed one of the black fighting gloves they normally kept around the office.

"First, choose your shotgun," Freyra said, opening a crate near the metal shuttle.

"Choose _any_ weapon you want to use, in any case, they'll shoot rubber bullets," Tseng interjected. Dante observed his options. A shotgun would be good inside the narrow corridors, but the low ammo capacity was a drawback and the sniper rifle would be too bulky in the enclosed space. He finally decided to take a Tactical Machine Pistol with its spare magazine. That gave him the advantage of having 40 rounds between the two magazines; full-auto fire and its size would give maneuverability. Thankfully it did not have the orange tip of the other training guns. From a box offered by Elena, he chose a Time, Gravity and Sleep materia, which he promptly placed in the slots of the glove.

"Now, once the shutter opens, enter the training room and the test will begin. Be mindful that anything inside will try to stop you from completing your objective but nothing will inherently try to kill you. We will observe and evaluate though a CCTV system: if we consider you have taken lethal damage, you will fail the test. Exit through this same door using the three keycards and you will have succeeded."

"Good luck, yo."

"Go kick some ass kid."

"I'll be waiting to heal your face."

The Turks left though a door at the end of the hallway, leaving Dante in front of the shuttle door.

Dante stood there, TMP in hand, waiting for the shuttle to open. An orange light lit above the door and a bell rang somewhere in the hallway.

" _All right. No backing out now."_

Dante took a deep breath and moved forward into the training facility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And cliffhanger!  
> Originally "The test" was here, but then chapter length was piling up. I want to keep every chapter below 4000 words so that I can keep publishing weekly.  
> A short note regarding Reno's name pronunciation: I know it is supposed to be pronounced with a strong "R" and hard "E" (as in REindeer). In here, for the sake of the joke, I used the Advent Children pronunciation. Let me know if there was a name I could have used for the same purpose-God knows I looked xD  
> Also, Scarlet and Heidegger! I wanted to include the mini-mako cannon in another chapter, but I decided I was not going to work unless they were in a shooting range.   
> Anyway, thaks to those that are following and reading this story. Leave me your comments and feedback ;)


	7. Time dilation

The first room was a large open space with some wooden crates scattered around the center. Two exits could be seen: one to the left, a corridor tall enough for him to stand and to the right, a smaller one that Dante would need to pass through in all fours.

" _Find three key cards and leave"._ He repeated himself.

Dante started down the left corridor, he peeked inside from the corner to make sure nothing was coming and moved forward. That passage connected to another large room that was not empty: a small semi-spherical robot, with an antenna and four little legs was moving inside, making a soft humming sound. A camera on one side of its body was panning the room, looking for a target.

Not wanting confrontation just yet, Dante observed the room for exits; one was another corridor and the other a ventilation shaft. After the tiny robot turned around, he made a quick dash and with a jump, held the edge of the square tunnel. After pushing the TMP inside, he pulled himself into the shaft. He noticed all too late that it was a mistake: another robot was waiting for him inside, its camera glowing red when it detected the Turk trying to climb into its burrow.

The machine attacked Dante from the inside: a bolt of electricity emanating from its antenna reached the rookie's hand and he let go of the edge of the shaft.

"Aw, shit!" Dante exclaimed as he landed on his feet. The robot emerged from its hiding place, pushing the TMP outside. The Turk caught the weapon and observed that, surprisingly, the machine started moving on the vertical wall as if held in place by magnets. It then began emitting a loud beeping noise that activated the robot that was scanning the floor, which immediately turned around and started chasing Dante, new bolts of electricity emanated from their antennas. The Turk had to jump and roll to avoid them, but one of the bolts hit his leg, leaving it numb.

The noise went on. _"So much for a silent mission,"_ Dante thought. Removing the safety from the TMP he shot the aggressing devices. While the rubber bullets did not damage them, the robots turned off and went silent. _"Nothing will inherently try to kill you,_ " Tseng's words resonate din his head. The robots were probably programmed to turn off upon a bullet-like impact.

Dante decided to resume his route. He climbed again into the shaft and crawled in. He was sure more could be found there, so he kept an eye open for those. He was sure factors like time would be evaluated, so he rushed as quietly as possible across the tunnel. No more robots appeared, but from a mesh opening in the shaft's floor he heard voices.

"So, what kind of mission is this one?"

"The captain said our mission was to guard the keycard from the Turk that is lurking inside this facility" another voice answered.

"I _know_ what the mission is. But why pit us against one of them?"

"I've heard rumors that the Turks choose the most promising students for SOLDIER, so I guess the squad that gets him will be promoted sooner," a third voice said.

Dante observed. Below, three cadets from the Shin-Ra Military Academy armed with orange-tipped assault rifles were talking. It seemed they were also been evaluated, but for them, he was the enemy.

Dante needed to know how many more of those squads were in there, so shooting them was not an option. Dante raised the metal grid silently and focused the Sleep materia on the two nearest cadets. They slumped on the floor, fast asleep.

"Hey! Hey! What are you two doing?"

When the remaining cadet ducked to check on his partners, Dante sprung to action: he let himself fall behind the remaining man who gasped in surprise. He stood up quickly and raised his assault rifle, but in a swift motion taught to him by Reno, Dante stopped the arm of the attacker, twisted the gun out of his hand and pointed it along with his TMP to the cadet's chest, who only raised his hands in a surrendering gesture.

"How many other squads are here?" Dante asked, emulating Rude's deep voice in an attempt to sound more menacing.

"I-I cannot say that! That would be betraying my comrades!" The distraught cadet said.

Dante decided to step up his interrogation game a little. With the tip of his TMP's barrel, he pushed the helmet of the cadet out of the way and left it aiming at his forehead.

"You may have noticed already, but my gun does not have an orange tip…"

"Five! Five squads of three!" The cadet said, pleading.

"And which one has the keycard?"

"I-I don't know!" Dante pushed the barrel of the TMP harder against his forehead. "Eek, please, I really don't know!"

"Ok. Good boy" Dante said, even though they both probably were the same age. He then tossed the cadet his rifle back. With the distraction, Dante readied another Sleep spell that left the young cadet slumped next to his squad. Just to be sure, he checked the pockets of the squad. Coming empty-handed, he jumped back into the shaft and kept on crawling.

Five squads of three people each. That meant at least another 12 cadets were roaming around. While it would not be impossible to cast that many Sleep spells, Dante considered he better save some energy for the Gravity and Time materia that were more demanding to use.

Peeking in a corner he caught a glimpse of another one of those shocker robots in front of another opening, no doubt leading to another open area. Luckily, it was facing away from Dante, at the opening of the shaft. From the other side of the tunnel he heard steps: another one of the squads was in there. He suddenly had an idea. He prepared the Haste spell of the Time materia and aimed at the robot. After the spell hit its mark, he dashed and pushed the mechanical device outside of the shaft into the room.

"Woa! What is that guys?"

"I can't see, it's moving too fast!"

"Ouch! That thing shocked me!"

"Arg! Can we shoot it? They said the target was the Turk. Ouch!"

"Ah, fuck it!"

The sound of the rifles firing started. Dante stretched and took a peek out of the shaft to see not one, but two squads failing to hit the fast-moving target. When the robot was in the opposite side of the room Dante jumped from the shaft. Once on the floor, he casted another Haste spell, this time on himself. The Turk began firing at the back of the cadets, who seemed to move in slow motion. Dante could even see the rubber bullets move across the room and impact the back of the cadet's helmets. He dashed towards them as he fired. By the time he reached the last remaining squad member, the other five cadets had been hit. A quick shot to the crazy robot stopped it in its tracks.

With a speed-enhanced kick, Dante kicked the helmet of the cadet away from his head, revealing a mess of blond spikes that grew in every direction. In a swift motion, Dante grabbed the arm of the cadet and placed him in a hold he was all too familiar with. The other cadets looked in awe at him, and then they simply dropped to their knees and placed their hands on the back of their heads, assault rifles on the floor.

"Where's the keycard" he said to the immobilized cadet.

"I'm not telling" the cadet said. Dante knew he could not pull the "no-orange-tip-in-my-gun" threat anymore.

"So, you know where it is" Dante said with a grin. The Turk's smile only widened when he heard his hostage gulp.

A shot was heard from the back. Dante turned around, cadet and all in hand as he saw the two remaining squads coming at him.

"Dammit Strife! You let yourself be captured!" One of them yelled at the hostage.

"Hey, why are you not helping?" Another one yelled at the other cadets behind Dante and his human shield.

"We were hit! We cannot intervene anymore!" came as a defeated answer from one of them.

"All right: we can do this the easy way or the hard way" Dante started. "You give me the card and I put you to sleep, or, I kick all of your asses and get the key anyway."

"Bad news pal, there is another squad! They have the key!" One of the cadets yelled in a mocking tone.

"No, they did not… Besides, you friend Strife just confirmed the card _is_ here"

"Come on! You will never make it into SOLDIER by being a wimp!"

Dante observed at how disorganized the cadets were: they were not moving to surround him and four were blocking the view of other two behind them. That gave him an idea. Just before the Haste spell wore off, he began readying another spell in the glove using the blond cadet as a cover. In a quick motion he kicked the back of his hostage, pushing him towards his comrades, whom in panic, began firing at him.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Quit it! OW!" was all Strife managed to say at the incoming fire.

Dante rolled to the side and casted a Gravity spell on the roof above the cadets. A black sphere that bent the light around it appeared where the spell hit. Pulled by an invisible force, the six cadets were dragged towards the ceiling, crashing one into another in a tight ball of arms and legs. Rifles and helmets fell from the human ball. After a few seconds, they all fell towards the floor on top of the blond cadet. Pained groans emanated from the pile of cadets, but they appeared to have got the point and did not move while Dante searched the pockets of the other cadets. He finally found a red card with the number 2 printed on it.

"Thank you for your cooperation," he said. Dante grabbed the TMP and walked out of the room.

He had no idea how much longer he walked in the mess of tunnels and rooms. The place appeared to be huge, and the homogenous metal walls meant he did not have anything to orient himself with. Finally, after reaching what he thought was the same room for the third time, he gave another approach: Dante jumped into the nearest shaft and, once he checked no robot was nesting in there, began crawling. As he imagined, new rooms could be accessed from those shafts, but what he found in the new room was not what he had hoped for: two 2nd class SOLDIERs were patrolling the area.

Their broadswords had been replaced with wooden training swords, but given the strength they had, a hit of those would probably leave a mark. Dante did not know if they had the keycard, so he decided to observe for a while.

After a few minutes, they had said nothing. They obviously knew to keep their mouths shut, unlike the cadets that had spilled the beans very easily. Dante then crawled through the shafts looking for another exit, but found none. _"I guess I'll have to take them out"._

He knew that normally he was no match for a SOLDIER's enhanced strength and reflexes, so he casted another Haste spell on himself and jumped down the shaft. He landed next to one of them. While surprised, the SOLDIER held his ground and began throwing punches at Dante. Even with the Haste spell, it was hard keeping up with the enhanced opponent. By then, the other SOLDIER had noticed the skirmish and was dashing towards them sword in hand. In a split-second decision, Dante shot at the oncoming man, who had to move the sword to block the rubber bullet. The Turk immediately threw the TMP upwards and then twisted to throw a kick to the head of his first opponent. As expected, his foot was caught in the firm grip of the SOLDIER. Dante used the newly found support to jump and momentarily raise his whole body, just in time to avoid the slash of the sword coming from behind him.

The sword hit the thorax of the first SOLDIER, who let out a pained groan. Dante supported himself on the shoulder pad of the sword-wielding man with one hand and caught the falling TMP with the other. Before they could realize what had happened, Dante had aimed and shot at the helmeted head of his support man. They all held frozen in position for a second and then collapsed collectively on the ground, panting.

"Dammit! I did not see that coming" the second SOLDIER said.

"I think you broke me a rib with that thing Essai!" the other said, rubbing the side of his thorax, where the sword of his partner had hit him.

"Sorry for that Sebastian. Man, Zack is gonna laugh hard at us for this. Anyway, here's the keycard, Turk. You earned it."

The man offered a green card with the number 3 printed on it.

"Thanks" Dante said. He raised and limped towards a previously unseen door. His ankle hurt. He probably landed on top of it. But he was close to finishing, so he went on.

On the other side of the hall there was a very large room with a few wooden crates scattered around. To Dante's surprise, a white rectangle could be seen on the opposite wall of the room. On top of it, a blue keycard was attached. He knew it was not going to be that easy, so he scanned the room for anything suspicious. The walls were devoid of any objects save some lights and cameras; the floor was made of concrete and the roof was pitch black, too high to see. Dante detached the magazine of the TMP and slid it across the floor of the room, where it made a small _clack_ as it hit the wall where the keycard was. Nothing happened.

No taking any chances, Dante walked around the room, right next to the wall. When he arrived at his destination, he picked up the magazine and re-inserted it on the gun. The blue keycard had the number 1 printed on it, and was held on top of a white sheet of paper with tape, much like on the office's door. Dante pulled the card and saw that below it, written on the paper, there was a small note:

Heads up, yo.

A massive object fell behind Dante to the center of the room making a loud metallic _clang_ as it landed. He turned around and aimed the TMP. The object was a large robot, three conical legs around a round body that sported a round red glass. Three rotor blades started spinning on top of the metallic body and the device took off, hovering about a meter above the ground. The blades started moving the air inside the enclosed room in a violent gale. Dante gave five quick shots at the red glass on the front, but before any of them could make contact, the machine had moved its two frontal arms, covering the apparent weak spot.

The Heli Gunner then began shooting. Dante rolled to a side and covered behind one of the crates, rubber bullets ricocheting everywhere. The Turk started crawling around the crates, hoping the machine lost sight of him. As he squatted behind a crate, he pondered his options. The Sleep or Silence spells of the Seal materia would do nothing against the mechanical device and he was almost positive the Slow or Stop spells of the time materia would not help. That only left the Gravity materia, but a spell of the size required to pull the entire machine would be really tasking.

The box behind which he was covering was kicked away by one of the front legs of the Heli Gunner and smashed on one of the walls. Dante barely had time to dash towards the machine and slid under it. He emptied the magazine from under the machine, hoping to hit the red eye, but failed. As he moved below the Heli Gunner, Dante noticed it would lean forward trying to aim at him, as its artillery pieces were not mobile.

He quickly stood up on the other side and dashed towards another box, swapping the empty magazine with the full one. Dante ducked behind another box and thought what to do, panic rising. He then noticed that one of the crates was very close to the wall. That gave him an idea. He gave three shots at the machine, which covered as usual. While the arms of the Heli Gunner blocked the view, Dante dashed and ignoring the pain on his ankle, jumped on top of the crate, he then casted a Gravity spell high at the wall, aimed at himself. The pull of the gravitational force was strong enough to let him stand on the vertical wall as if it were the floor. From that vantage point, he gave three more shots at the machine to get its attention.

The Heli Gunner closed in an positioned itself between the wall and the crate, it then began tilting back to allow its guns to aim at the Turk. In the process, the rotor blade in the back hit the crate and shattered, sending pieces of metal flying about. Unfortunately, the sudden loss of control created a spray of bullets that ricocheted everywhere. Dante ran on the wall trying to avoid them but one of them hit him in the back of his leg, sending a sharp pain throughout.

As the machine attempted to compensate itself, one of the frontal blades of the machine hit the wall of the room and was also reduced to junk. With only one rotor, the Heli Gunner could no longer hover and crashed on the floor. Seeing his chance, Dante gave a spray of bullets at the core of the machine, piercing the glass and shutting it down. He walked down the wall and to the floor, where he admired his handiwork. He hoped that causing too much damage at the equipment was not reason to lower his score.

With the three cards in his pocket, he limped his way back to the entrance. No more machines, cadets or SOLDIERs were encountered, although it took him some time to find the entrance room in the maze of the training facility and climbing to the shafts with his injured ankle and pained leg were no easy task. When he finally found it, Dante walked between the crates to the door and analyzed the card reader. He inserted the card numbered as "1" and a small LED lit. He repeated the process with the other two cards and then a soft _beep_ sounded. A panel next to the door lit up and displayed a message:

Delayed Opening Door Activated

ET 3'00"

Three minutes. He was close to finishing. He was about to become a field agent. All the sacrifices, questionable contracts, drug injections and coffee deliveries to his partners would finally pay off. His inner thoughts were interrupted when he heard a soft, velvety voice recite behind him:

" _When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end_

_The goddess descends from the sky"_

Dante turned around aiming his almost empty TMP and saw a man in a red leather coat sitting cross-legged on one of the crates, casually reading from a white book. He went on:

" _Wings of light and dark spread afar_

_She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting"_

Although he had never seen him in person, he knew very well who he was and had a pretty good idea of what he was doing there. The delayed opening of the door suddenly made sense.

"Have you read this book? Loveless. It is my favourite," The SOLDIER said.

"Once, for a literature assignment in school."

"Ah, mandatory reading." The man closed the book. "It is not the best way of enjoying this piece of art." He placed the tome inside a pocket in his trench coat.

"Well, to be honest I found it unbearably slow-paced and its verbose language made it quite hard to know what was going on," the Turk said with honesty.

"Excuse me?" the SOLDIER looked at Dante as if he had just killed a kitten.

Dante gulped nervously, not unlike how his human-shield-cadet had done previously.

"You little bitch! Had you had engaged me in a meaningful conversation; I may have let you pass your examination without much trouble," his hand reached to the inside of his coat and pulled a training sword. "But seeing that you find Loveless so _boring_ I guess we will have some fun…" he tossed the wooden sword to the side of the room. " _And_ , seeing that you said something so unfathomably crass about it in my face…" he reached to his back and pulled a _real_ sword, "I guess I'll also have to teach the naughty little Turk a lesson," he said with a grin.

Dante raised the TMP as the man in red stood up, rapier in hand, in one of the crates. The following minute and a half was going to be very long. No amount of Haste was going to help him compete with a 1st class SOLDIER.

Genesis Rhapsodos lunged forward, his sword glowing with a deep crimson hue.

* * *

_And cliffhanger again!_

_I'll post the ending next week... Sorry to drag this for too long xD_

_Also, Cloud made a cameo appearance! Originally I wanted him to be the test subject of Scarlet's mako cannon last chapter, but decided he would fit better here... Why is he always a victim?_

_Leave me your comments and suggestions!_


	8. Poetic ramblings

Genesis Rhapsodos lunged forward, his sword glowing with a deep crimson hue. Dante rolled to the side as he cast a Slow spell on his adversary. If that would give him _any_ advantage, he would take it. He released the spell almost at point-blank, but the light of the materia stopped before touching Genesis, it then spread across a shimmering, translucent wall that surrounded the SOLDIER.

"Not while Magic Barrier is up," he said with a smile. Reaching through the barrier, Genesis grabbed the lapel of Dante's suit and pulled him up almost effortlessly. He let go of the Turk as soon as his arm rose above his head. Dante had not even started to fall to the ground before the SOLDIER had spun around on his axis and hit him with the flat side of the blade across his torso. Dante was sent flying like a rag doll to the other end of the room, where landed hard on his back.

"Agh! Fuck!" Dante exclaimed, pain soaring across his chest, as he attempted to prompt himself up on the wall behind him. Genesis was advancing towards him, a mocking smile on his face.

Dante wanted to raise his weapon, but then noticed that he had dropped the TMP during Genesis' attack, and was now lying on the ground. The SOLDIER was getting dangerously close. Given that the Magic Barrier was still up, and would most likely last more than a minute, Dante cast a strong Gravity spell aimed at himself. The pull raised him from the ground and toward the wall behind him. The Turk ignored the pain in his ankle as best as he could and dashed up and towards the corner that joined with the wall with the door.

We could hear the rapier slashing the air behind him. Curves of light emanated from its tip, creating deep gashes on the walls where they made contact. Dante ran downwards and reached for the TMP on the floor. After barely grabbing it by sliding the phalanx of his left index in the trigger guard, the Turk began running up the wall again. When he turned around to face Genesis, he was nowhere to be seen. The new forced perspective of standing in the wall made looking for the SOLDIER much more difficult. Unfortunately, he didn't have to wait too long.

" _My friend, do you fly away now?"_ his soft voice recited behind him _"…To a world that abhors you and I?_ "

Dante turned around and saw Genesis falling toward him, having performed an unnaturally high jump to take him from above. The rookie aimed as quickly as possible with the TMP, only to see the weapon being split in half by a swift motion of the SOLDIER's sword. Dante jumped and rolled to the side just in time to avoid Genesis' arm that was reaching for him. The Turk was now standing upside-down on the roof. He saw his opponent fall to the floor in complete silence, as if he were weightless.

Dante dropped the fore-grip and the remnants of the trigger and magazine of his TMP and saw Genesis looking up to him. A new pain erupted on his left arm: a deep cut that was bleeding profusely had appeared on his bicep, no doubt caused by the tip of the sword when it destroyed his gun. The sleeve of the suit was taking a deeper color. Below, Genesis went on with his declamations:

" _All that awaits you is a somber morrow_

_No matter where the winds may blow"_

The rapier emitted a red glow and several balls of fire emanated from it, spreading throughout the room and encircling rapidly towards Dante. Making pressure on his bleeding would, Dante focused once more in his Time materia and cast a Slow spell on the fiery attack.

The balls of fire started moving more slowly, but they were still coming towards him. Holding his right hand over his wound bicep, Dante began moving around, dodging the fireballs as they crashed on the ceiling and the top of the walls, emitting hot flashes that scattered embers around.

A new wave of fireballs was launched, so Dante readied his own spell… And nothing happened. He was out of magic energy.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, while he began attempting to dodge the faster fireballs. Below, Genesis went on with his verbosities:

" _My soul, corrupted by vengeance…"_

Dante rolled on the roof, his leg grazed by a fireball.

"… _hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey."_

He ran down the wall and jumped the corner.

" _In my own salvation…"_

Dante began running upward again.

"… _and your eternal slumber."_

A fireball made contact on his upper back, near his right shoulder. Dante tripped and fell to his knees while on the roof.

"AGH!" he screamed, as he smelled burned fabric. More fireballs were incoming. An alarm sounded in the distance and the metal shutter of the exit opened. The last of the fireballs hit their mark, signing the side of his head and the hand over his bleeding bicep.

"Genesis! For Gaia's sake, stop this!" A male voice yelled from below.

Dante directed his blurry gaze at the now open door, where a black-haired 1st class SOLDIER with a massive sword on his back stood. He could see Elena and Freyra behind him, looking up to the ceiling at his partner.

At that moment, Dante felt himself both lighter and heavier at the same time. He saw the roof at his feet grow further away and heard a _whoosh_ of air in his ears: the Gravity spell had worn out, and he was falling. Dante crashed on top of a wooden crate and everything went dark.

* * *

Dante woke up between two medics. Behind them he could make out Reno's red hair.

"Hey, he's awake, yo!"

_Click click._

"Really Cissnei? _Now?"_ Dante groaned.

"They're for your damages compensation claim" she said.

"You know we cannot make such claims, it is in those contracts" Dante said, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Er…" _click click click._

"You almost didn't make it kid, they had to use a Phoenix Down," Freyra said behind him.

"They practically had to mop you up that crate, yo." Dante looked around: he was still in the room where he had his short fight with Genesis, who thankfully, was nowhere to be seen.

"But hey, at least you passed the test!" Elena said

"What? But…I didn't exit the room…" Dante said, attempting to sit up, only to be pushed back by the medic working a healing spell on his arm.

"Well, you _were_ conscious when the door opened. And to be honest, we didn't expect you to last long against Genesis, much less make it through him," Cissnei said.

"More importantly, make it through _angry_ Genesis," Elena interjected. "What were you thinking saying something like that about Loveless? He loses his marbles when anyone offends that book."

"Yeah, that was pretty reckless, yo."

"Remember what he did with the cadet that made the mustard stain on his book? They had to dig the body pieces from the flowerpots and sew him together before the funeral." Freyra mused.

"If Lieutenant Hewley hadn't intervened we would have needed to find a new coffee boy, yo."

"OK! I get it! Gosh!" Dante exclaimed, annoyed. He sat up, this time unobstructed by the medic.

"All right, you are good to go, although you may want to get a new haircut" the medic said.

Dante raised his hand and ran it through his hair: besides the tiny shards of wood he pulled out, an area about the size of his palm near his ear felt shorter, the hair strands oddly irregular. It emanated an unpleasant smell.

"Ah, man…" he said. He examined the rest of his body: The pain in his ankle had subsided, the cut of his bicep was closed and his knuckles felt oddly tender and sensitive, but were otherwise unburned.

"Also, you may feel some anxiety, shortness of breath and hear a buzz in your ears. Those are common side effects of Phoenix Down. Contact the health department if you suffer seizures in the following hours" The doctor added. She offered Dante a business card with the emergency number of the Shin-Ra E.R.

"Seizures?" Dante stood up.

"Yeah, it's uncommon, but that can happen with those things." Elena said.

"Right now, the most important thing is to celebrate that you are now a field agent, yo!"

"And maybe, you know, taking a shower. You smell like a forest fire. Look like an animal that escaped from one, too." Freyra said.

At that moment, Tseng entered the room and approached them. Behind him, general Sephiroth was following.

"As your partners have probably informed you, I have decided to promote you to field agent. You performed satisfactorily in problem-solving, materia usage, battle strategy and enhanced interrogation." Tseng said. He then turned to Sephiroth.

"And I want to apologize in behalf of Lieutenant Rhapsodos. He ignored his instructions and crossed the limit imposed," the general said. "On the bright side, you said what no one dared say before: that Loveless is boring as hell."

From the door through which Dante was supposed to have escaped, Genesis' voice came: "I heard that Sephiroth! Loveless is not boring! It is an elaborate metaphor! And stop apologizing for me! I regret _nothing_!" Sephiroth ignored his partner and concluded: "Now, if you all excuse me, I have SOLDIERS to scold and cadets to punish with severe force for their incompetence."

Sephiroth turned around and walked to the hallway outside of the room, when he crossed the threshold, he ordered at someone: "Angeal, grab Genesis. Let's go!"

Behind Sephiroth, Dante could see the black haired SOLDIER that had entered the room carrying a bound Genesis over his shoulder. The brunette made eye contact with Dante for a split second and started again:

" _Even if the morrow is barren of promises_

_Nothing shall forestall my return"_ his voice growing quieter as he was taken further away.

"Shut up Genesis!" Sephiroth yelled. The Turks remained silent for a moment after that strange exchange. Finally, Dante broke the silence:

"What does he mean "punish cadets with severe force"?"

"Have you seen how he dresses? You really don't want to know…" Cissnei said.

They left the training facility and separated once they arrived at the floors with the living quarters. At his apartment, Dante tossed the burned, blood-stained and ripped uniform in the trash can and went to take a shower. It took several washes to get the smell of burned hair out. On the way out Dante noticed a long, thin bruise across his torso: the place where Genesis' sword had hit him. In the middle of his chest a pale spot could be seen. He closed in on the mirror of the bathroom: the area felt tender and warm to the touch. It was the place was where the Phoenix Down had been used. He had heard those items could bring you back from death, provided you had not been out more than a few minutes and any injuries you had at the time could be fixed quickly enough with magic.

" _Nothing will try to kill you_ , sure." He mused in front of the mirror. He left the bathroom and dressed. He lay down on his bed; exhausted from all the magic he had cast earlier, although no doubt, being resuscitated had something to do with it too.

The past weeks, he had been sneaking materia out of the file cabinet behind Elena's desk. She served as the de-facto administrator of the Turk's materia and was supposed to train Dante in its use, the same way Freyra had taught him weapon handling and Rude and Reno had in hand-to-hand combat. Yet, he could not wait for Tseng to decide he should start materia training. In his impatience, Dante picked the lock of the materia cabinet –a skill he picked from Cissnei– and started going to the training room on his free afternoons and weekends.

Although his experience was limited to common materia, like Thunder and Fire, he quickly grew fond of the Time spells. One day he observed Erick and other SOLDIERs practicing the use of Gravity materia. Dante decided then and there he would have to learn that walk-on-the-walls trick; after a couple of weeks of practice, falls to the floor due to unsuccessful castings and many nights of inviting Erick dinner so that he would taught him, he finally got the hang of Gravity's use. With time, even the frequently-experienced Sleep spell of the Seal materia had its appeal: Dante began to understand why Elena was always carrying one around.

There was a knock on the door, almost immediately followed by the sound of the apartment door opening. Dante got up from his bed and entered the living room. Reno, Freyra and Elena were in the entrance, carrying several boxes of pizza.

"So, did you consider the possibility that I may have not wanted you here?" Dante asked at the intruders.

"We did, that's why we entered anyways," Elena said, leaving a couple of boxes on the kitchen counter.

"Be thankful that we knocked at least. I mean, we have a key. We could have just entered." Freyra interjected.

"I convinced them of at least letting you know that we were entering, yo. I mean, if I had a Gil for every time someone barged in when I was doing the five-finger-shuffle…"

"Thanks, Reno. We are _not_ interested." Freyra cut him.

"So, what do you have to drink here?" Elena said.

Dante walked to his kitchenette and opened the compartments. "Tea," he announced unceremoniously.

"Um, I'll take mine with some custards and a dash of fairy dust" Freyra said ironically.

"Seriously!?" Reno reached and began opening the few doors the small kitchenette had. "I imagined you would not have any beer here, but a least… Something… Anything, yo!" Reno reached for his pocket and pulled his PHS. He dialed and spoke after a moment: "Rude, yo! This place is drier than a Cactuar nursery, drop by my apartment and bring in the good stuff."

"What? No! You are not drinking in my department."

"We would go to the 7th Heaven below the plate, but for some reason they don't seem to like Shin-Ra members there, yo." Reno flipped the PHS close.

Minutes later, the door of the department opened again and Cissnei and Rude entered, the latter carrying a black box with one of the ubiquitous quick-fix paper labels: this one read "totally not booze".

"So… How many of you have a key to my room?" Dante asked, seeing how everyone seemed to come and go with ease.

"Oh, we all do." Cissnei said.

"At some point everyone had to come drop your unconscious ass here at least once." Freyra remarked. She was now handling pizza slices.

"It seems a bit one sided, you know?" Dante said while scratching the burned area of his hair.

"I can give you the key to my department, if you'd like," Rude commented. The rookie turned to see the man suspiciously. In retrospect, he rarely spoke, but when he did he always seemed to say something that without proper context could have been misinterpreted gravely. His deep voice didn't help, either.

"Anyway! Pick your poison everyone! It's time to get shit-faced, yo!" Reno said, rummaging in the recently delivered box, which contained a bag of red cups and several bottles of different liquors. He started pouring drinks and preparing cocktails.

"You know I'm still under 18, right?" Dante said as he received the cup from Reno.

"You are honestly concerned about that while living in a world where you can join the military at 14?" Elena said.

"Don't worry, yo. We'll take care of you in case you go overboard." The redhead said with a grim, but the memories of the painful hand-to-hand combat lessons, rubber shotgun shells and materia-facilitated manipulations came to mind. At least he was in his apartment. Nothing could go _terribly_ wrong.

* * *

Two hours later

* * *

"…So we ran away from the burning field before the farmer noticed us, but in the rush I left my fucking schoolbag there! Can you believe that shit!? I thought I was gonna be safe, but later that night, the fire-men's chief comes over to interrogate me about why was there a bag filled with notebooks bearing my name near an arson zone!"

The Turks laughed at the often-cited story of Dante's fire materia incident.

"So, what happened later?" Elena asked eagerly.

"My mom wrecked my room looking for gasoline or joints or whatever. She found the materia in my drawer and then, well, proceeded to beat the living shit outta me! My folks paid for the damages, but I was grounded for months."

"Ahw man, talk about sloppy!" Freyra said, well into her fifth cup.

"Can you imagine leaving that kind of evidence behind in a mission?" Elena interjected.

"I know! I should've burned it!"

Laughter erupted again.

"So, how did you learn to _walk-the-wall_ , yo?"

"A SOLDIER friend taught me."

Reno and Freyra snickered at the obliviousness the rookie gave to the double entendre.

"So it was you using the materia! I knew it was growing!" Elena said, drinking the last of her fourth cup.

"We can at least acknowledge he is getting better at covering his tracks," Cissnei commented, emptying a bottle in her cup.

"No he is not" They all turned to Freyra after the comment. She went on: "Tseng knew all along about your clandestine materia practice. He was informed weeks ago, so he ordered Rude to observe you, just to make sure you didn't burn anything."

"I watched you every night, partner," Rude said. He was past the formality of a cup and was drinking directly from a bottle.

"So that's why he made Dante take the tactical test without materia training!" Elena exclaimed. "Oh well, less work for me." She sipped from her cup and let a sad "oh" when she noticed it was still empty.

"Just one question: where do you keep the Summon materia?" Dante asked. "It was the one I wanted to use the most and it is the only one that could not be found stashed with the others."

"Do you really think those would be kept under such a simple lock?" Elena said with one eyebrow high.

"Don't talk to me about security! Freyra literally keeps her loaded shotgun in an unlocked drawer! There's C4 in Rude's desk! And don't get me started on the storage behind _my_ desk!" Dante said.

"Tseng hides our Summons in Veld's office, yo. There are few in Shin-Ra, and most are in the hands of SOLDIERS, yo. But once a year, we get a change to get new ones!" The red Turk exclaimed while mixing a generous dose of liquor with soda.

"Whaaa? How so?" Dante asked, his words now slurring.

"The departments fight for them! We bet one we have for one another department has and then we have a team battle. Winner takes both!" Freyra exclaimed, a bit of her drink spilling on the counter.

"So you better help us increase our stash this year, yo! I'm tired of missions with nothing but Shiva and Titan."

"Aw man! I'm callin' it! I wan' a Bahamut!" Dante said with drunken enthusiasm.

"Tough luck! Those are in the hands of 1st class SOLDIERs, yo."

"Also, why would you want to use Summons?" Freyra asked, "Those are not the most discreet spells to use."

"Cu'z they're sooo cool!" Dante said, emptying his 6th cup with a gulp.

"And what makes you think you can control a Summon, yo?"

"You sayin' I can't?"

"Do I hear a challenge?" Cissnei said.

* * *

Tseng's PHS was ringing. The chief Turk watched the alarm clock. He looked at the caller name: _Z. Fair_.

"Tseng here," he said as he answered the phone.

"Hey Tseng, how are you? I hope I didn't wake you up."

"Its 3:36 in the morning, this better be important" Tseng said, rubbing his eyes.

"I know it is early, I am up too! I was honestly scared something had happened, like that time when they decided to have a fire drill when I was taking a shower and…"

"Focus, Zack. What is it?" Angeal's nickname for his protégée never required explanation.

"Ah, right! Er… What was it Seph?" An unintelligible murmur came from the other side of the line. The SOLDIER proceeded: "General Sephiroth requires your presence immediately in training room number 4."

"I'm on my way." Tseng said with a sight.

That was something that didn't happen often. He quickly donned his uniform as best as possible and walked to the elevators. No alarms were ringing and on the way there he saw no movement that would indicate the HQ was being attacked. He would have been contacted directly by Hojo if any of his "experiments" had escaped from his dungeon of perversions and Palmer and Reeve had never required the assistance of the Turks.

A cold air invaded the elevator as the doors opened. He ignored the mysterious draft, dismissing it as a broken window and went on. His shoes made a splashing noise as he neared the training rooms: water was covering the entire hallway. When he turned, he saw Sephiroth and Zack at the door. He decided to ignore the fact that the General was only wearing his leather pants and boots and the Lieutenant was barefoot in sleeping pants and a crew shirt. Infantrymen were entering and leaving, carrying buckets filled with something. An assortment of strange hammering noises could be heard inside.

"Tseng, good you are here." Sephiroth said, leading him into the cold training room.

He wished it had been a broken window. He would have preferred all the windows of Shin-Ra HQ were broken over what he saw.

"Brings the idea of a "fresh Hell" to a whole new level, doesn't it?" Zack said behind him, with that annoying, ever-present smile of his.

The training room, from top to bottom, was covered in ice. Prismatic shards, as big as a person, pointed in all directions from the corners and ceiling. The floor and walls were covered in a thick sheet of clear ice. The light reflected in the clear surroundings scattered in a multitude of colors across the room. It looked like the enchanted palace of some fairy tale singing snow queen. And at the center of that gigantic mess, around a block of ice the size of a truck were his Turks. Infantrymen were hammering the cold crystal that had multiple arms and legs enclosed.

"What happened here?" the chief asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Well, c-c-chief. F-f-funny story…" Freyra started, shaking while an infantryman helped her arm free from a shard of ice.

"I doubt it…"

"W-w-we were c-c-c-celebrating Dante's promotion to f-f-field agent, and…" the brunette went on.

"…The kid wanted to t-t-try a S-s-summon materia…" Reno said while wiggling his foot free from the frozen floor, his boot left trapped in the ice.

"B-b-but I-I-I t-t-think the alcohol k-k-kept him f-f-from using it p-p-p-p-properly," Elena said, shaking violently: her legs were encased up to half her thighs in ice.

Sephiroth walked in, Masamune in hand; Tseng made a mental note on trying to figure out where he kept the sword. Two swift strikes later and Elena was free from her icy confines, her lips a deadly shade of blue. An infantryman covered her with a thermic blanket. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Tseng. But isn't that new agent of yours under legal drinking age?" the General asked.

"Come on Seph, you know nobody respects that! The drinking age is too-CRAP!" Zack was interrupted as his bare feet slipped on the ice and fell on his back, shattering the floor.

"Where is he anyway?" Tseng asked.

"In t-t-there…" Cissnei said. Tseng finally saw her, crouched next to the largest block in the center of the room: her hands and forearms were enclosed in the ice, her camera trapped inside. In the center of the block he could make the silhouette of the black-haired rookie and who he supposed was Rude, standing behind him.

"If it's worth something, it was a pretty good Shiva sum-WOA!" Tseng hear Zack said again behind him, followed by a loud _thud_.

"I'll leave Zack and a few infantrymen here to assist you. Now, if you excuse me, I must return to administer punishment to my cadets." Sephiroth walked out of the room, the sword mysteriously gone from his hand again.

The infantrymen were hammering the ice, releasing his agents and shoveling blocks of ice into buckets. He could only imagine how much of their budget this was going to take for repairs.

"Hey! We could turn this room into a rink and have hockey games!" Zack's voice said behind him: he was sliding on the ice around the room. Tseng wondered if Sephiroth had left his merry subordinate as revenge for interrupting whatever he was doing to the cadets.

"All right, grab a pickaxe you three. We have to get the rest out of the ice." This was going to be a long day. He wondered if at the end, he could deliver his agents to Sephiroth for "punishment".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had more trouble with this chapter than with any other before, why? The party scene!
> 
> I have never been drunk, so I had to rely on stories from friends to fill in the blanks (an ironic thing to say, because in the end I used time-skips… Twice!
> 
> Originally there was going to be a chapter about materia training with Elena and one about helicopter piloting with Reno, but I decided it would be too repetitive, so I ended up scrapping them.
> 
> From now on, almost every chapter is going to be a short mission.
> 
> Thanks to those that are following and reading this silly story! Please leave me your comments and suggestions!


	9. Chapter? Mako!

For the first time since its implementation, the Administrative Department was quiet. Fevers and sneezing plagued the Turks, whom despite their protests were not allowed a single day off to recover. "It was your own doing" was Tseng's answer.

Of course, Dante and Rude had taken the worst part, having been frozen solid for a long time before they could be brought back with a Phoenix Down. Tseng decided not to demote Dante back to coffee boy simply because the next day of the Shiva Summon incident, he was called to the science department. They handled him a series of unsettling reports that required all possible hands on deck.

That afternoon, when a dizzy-looking Elena and feverish Freyra returned from their reactor-security assignment, Tseng summoned them all to a meeting room.

"I have received some information from the science department." He slid six copies of a set of papers across the table to each of his agents.

"Mako-enhanced club drugs?" Freyra said, reading the medical report. "Wow... You really can use mako for anything."

"Need juiced soldiers? Mako. Electricity? Mako. Manufacture materia? Mako!" Elena said.

"Indeed, it appears someone is manufacturing and distributing it here in Midgar. It is also possible that they are using the very missing mako I sent you two to investigate months ago," he chief said with a scold-ish tone to Elena and Freyra.

"Need to scold your underlings? Mako," Dante said. Elena stuck her tongue out at him.

"So we go and find the dealer, piece of cake chief," Reno grinned.

"Not quite. Capturing a dealer will not get us any closer to finding the person that has been stealing the mako from the reactors. With Freyra and Elena's research, we managed to reduce the possible sites of robbing to reactors three through six. The science department has since secretly added a chemical signature unique to every reactor with hopes of identifying from which one the mako had been taken."

"So, could they figure out if the drugs were made with that marked mako?" Elena asked.

"Unfortunately, no. The chemical signature metabolizes quickly. If we want to know that, we will need a fresh sample of the drug for analysis. The patients found had consumed it long before they were taken to the E.R. with symptoms of mako addiction. Therefore, the chemical signature had been lost, but the mako could still be detected."

"So this means… undercover operation!" Reno said enthusiastically. "For drugs, no less, yo!" he added while elbowing Dante.

"They could trace all the people afflicted back to a single club in Sector 6, so I will need a couple of you there to get the sample." Tseng explained.

"No problem chief! I'll gladly take one for the team!" Reno said.

"Unfortunately, your exploits in the buffalo wing restaurant nearby have you identified in the whole area not only as a Shin-Ra member, but as a Turk too. This means that you are not the best candidate for this. And the age of all the victims so far implies that they are pushing this stuff on younger people, so Rude and Freyra are out of the table. This leaves us…"

"Uhhhhhh..."

"Yes, you Dante." Tseng confirmed.

"You _do_ match the type partner: young and naïve." Rude said.

"Indeed. Every drug dealer, counterfeiter and hooker in the area will try to get you to spend your allowance in their products and/or services." Cissnei said.

"And that is precisely why you will be his date, Cissnei," Tseng interjected.

"Yea-what!?"

"I'm not about to send the untrained rookie to a field mission without someone with experience."

" _Cissnei and Dante, sitting in a tree…_ " Elena started.

"And you will be providing support there," Tseng interrupted.

"Agh, dammit!"

"Rude, Reno and Freyra will manage communications from the evacuation vehicle," the chief concluded.

"Do I have any say in this?" Dante said.

"NO" came unanimously from his partners and chief.

"We will act tonight." Tseng then pulled a black credit card from his suit. A collective gasp came from his agents.

"The Turks budget card!" Elena whispered, as if she had just seen a hallowed object.

"Reno and Freyra: make Dante… _convincing_. Buy whatever is necessary for the operation." He handled the card to Freyra. "And don't go overboard with it! Our operational budget is already suffering because of your icy shenanigans, even with the discounts to your paychecks!"

Dante felt a hand grab the back of his suit and pull him away from the table along with the chair. Reno and Freyra walked out of the meeting room dragging the rookie along. They entered one of the elevators and pressed the lobby floor button.

"What to do first Reno?"

"Definitely a haircut, yo," he answered, poking the burned area of Dante's hair.

"OK. We'll find him something to wear later," the brunette said.

"Where are we going exactly?" Dante asked.

"Look, don't take it the wrong way, but I packed your clothes: you have nothing that says "night out in the club looking for a thrill", yo."

"And your hair says "working as a salaryman", we have to fix that or you will call the wrong kind of attention" Freyra complemented.

"I still don't know…" the rookie started

"Look, do you trust us, yo?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?" The elevator doors opened.

"Simply put," Freyra started, as she pushed Dante out of the elevator, Reno following. "Infiltration is all about getting into character. We need you to look like a cool, upper-plate Midgarian teen, so you'll need a new haircut and clothes, paid for by Shin-Ra, no less."

"And will those be… Chosen by me?"

"Ha! Young and naïve…" The brunette answered.

* * *

A delivery truck of Banora White Juice parked in an alley a block away from the club. It was well past delivery hours, but once the lights went off and the darkness surrounded the truck, nobody paid attention to it. In the driver's seat, a delivery-man-costumed Rude gave five code-knocks to the cargo area behind him.

"Rude, we know we are here. We can see you!" Elena's voice came from the back. Rude moved between the driver and co-pilot's seat to a door that led to the cargo area, where his partners were currently sitting.

The walls of the back of the truck had an assortment of screens, recorders and microphones. On the back, Reno (also in delivery-man costume) was giving a few last-minute tips to the rookie agent.

"Ok people, gear up! We move in 10!" Freyra said over the microphone of the earphone headset on her head, "Rude, stick the wire on Dante. Elena and Cissnei, do each other's."

"Nice…" the redhead said at the line.

"Quit it Reno… And help me set up the communications."

Rude moved towards the rookie and extended a piece of tape from a roll. "Lift your shirt, partner".

Ignoring any other possible meaning that line could have had, Dante complied. Rude helped him stick a thin wire microphone his chest, and stuck a small black box on the inside of his belt. Rude then gave him a small box with a wireless earphone.

"Testing transmitters, yo." Reno said to Dante as he put on a pair of earphones. "Testing, one, two." Dante gave a thumb-up when he heard the voice of his partner in his ear.

"Now, you will arrive separately: Cissnei and Dante first, Elena later. Try to find the dealer and get a sample, then leave. We will be assisting you from here," Freyra said. "And stop messing with your hair, kid!"

"I'm sorry! I'm just not used to looking so… Vertical…"

"Nonsense! All the cool kids these days have that haircut, yo!" Dante could not argue with that: the mohawk-like, faded cut was very common. He hoped that at least he would not trigger more of Veld's attacks. Still…

"…did we also have to pierce mi ear?" he pointed at his still sensitive earlobe, where a small stud now rested.

"Of course, yo! Have you seen the SOLDIERs? Pretty much all of them have one! And stop touching or it'll get infected, yo."

"If you don't like it you can always take it out. It is a relatively minor modification." Cissnei said.

"Yeah! Remember when machine-gun arms were a thing? I wonder what those two were thinking!" Elena commented while retouching her makeup.

"…and when the Shin-Ra 26 was about to launch? Suddenly everyone was a smoker like the pilot! That didn't last long, though." Freyra said. "Ok! Starting mission! Dante, Cissnei, move out!"

Rude opened the doors at the back of the truck and Cissnei and Dante jumped out. She adjusted the straps of the high heels she was wearing while Dante adjusted the leg of his "cool kid" pants, which felt uncomfortably tight. Elena handled Cissnei a small purse while Reno tossed Dante a leather jacket.

"Your materia glove is in there, yo." Reno closed the doors of the truck. His silence was not long-lasting, though, as his voice came from the receiver in his ear.

" _This is your conscience, yo,"_ the redhead's voice said with a ghostly tone.

"Of all the people here, I think you are the least qualified for the role of "conscience", Reno" Dante said.

" _Come on, yo! This attitude of yours is why you will always end up as bait, you know?"_

"Stop it you two, we all can hear you." Cissnei said. "Now, let's move!"

" _Oh! Remember when "let's mosey" was a thing?"_ Freyra's voice came from the hidden earphone. _"That was embarrassing to hear."_

Cissnei and Dante walked around the truck and into the street.

" _Man! You are carrying that jacket as if it were made of Wutaian silk, yo!"_

"How else am I supposed to carry it?

" _Grab it by the collar, put your hand near your shoulder and let the jacket hang over your back!"_ Freyra instructed. Dante did as told. _"Good, how put your other arm around Cissnei's waist."_

"Wha-?" he felt blood rush to his ears.

" _You are supposed to be her date, yo! Try to look a bit more natural!"_

"Over the shoulder will suffice. No need to get handsy." Cissnei said. Dante gulped and did as instructed.

" _Better, now try to relax, yo. You are still walking like Tseng. Remember, you are a cool kid, yo!"_ The many instructions were starting to pile up in Dante's brain. This was going to be a long night.

When they arrived at the club's entrance, Dante attempted to walk towards the waiting line next to the door.

" _Come on! Bribe the bouncer, yo! Otherwise we'll be here all night waiting for you to enter!"_

Dante then realized there was a more pressing issue.

"Reno! I'm underage! How am I supposed to enter here?" he whispered to the microphone.

" _Do you honestly think they care about that? Just in case, there is a fake ID in your jacket pocket, along with some bribery cash,"_ Freyra's voice came. Not feeling exactly reassured, he approached the towering bouncer, his fake-date under his other arm.

"Hey," Dante said, in his best impersonation of Reno's usual tone.

" _No! You need to sound bored! You have seen it all! You are looking for new experiences, yo!"_

" _Shut up Reno, you are just confusing him!"_ Freyra scolded.

" _Reno is confused even about his sexuality, what did you expected?"_ Rude remarked.

" _Rude! I told you I didn't know she had a stick, yo!"_

" _Arg! Shut up! Both of you!"_ Freyra yelled, causing an unpleasant screech in the earphones of the agents in the entrance.

" _That's it! I'm going in!"_ Elena said. The sound of the truck's door opening could be heard.

"You of age kid?" the bouncer asked unaware of the borderline schizophrenic voices in the heads of the couple in front of him.

"I believe I am" Dante said, reaching for the pocket of the jacket.

Reno's laughter erupted in his ear. _"You "believe" you are? Is that the best you could think of, yo!?"_

Freyra's exasperated groan sounded along.

"So, mister Squall, obviously aged 25. How can I help you?" The bouncer said while looking over the fake ID and ignoring the 50 Gil note on the back. Quick steps approached them from behind. They all turned and saw Elena dash towards them.

"Squall, Rinoa! There you are! I was hoping to meet you before you entered! Hi!" She then gave a loud pat to the shoulder of the bouncer. As she moved her arm back, Dante caught a glimpse of the gloved hand, a green materia glowing in it.

"Say, have we met before?" the bouncer said, now ignoring the fake couple.

"Why yes! I'm Selphie! We met last year during your aunt's sister's cousin's birthday party!" Elena said with a broad smile on her face.

"I don't have any aunts, but if you say so, then it must be truth!" The man eyed Cissnei and Dante: "I mean… Why she would lie?"

"Why indeed?" Cissnei muttered under her breath.

"Hey, we were wondering if you could you know, help me and my friends out… Or should I say… _in_?" she winked, a silly smile in her face.

" _Did she really say that?"_ Freyra said in their ears.

" _We should send her again for the coffee just for using that lame joke, yo"_.

"Sure Selphie, anything for you," the bouncer then opened the door behind him and gestured in the undercover agents. He ignored the groans of the people in the line.

As they descended a short ramp, they started discussing again with the voices in their heads:

" _You know, Elena, he is never going to learn if you keep bailing him out"_

"Ahw, come on! You know we were risking the mission." Elena answered.

"You know, you could have just given me a Mystify materia" Dante protested.

" _No! There is nothing more dangerous than being over-dependent on just one skill, yo."_

" _He is right, you know? One moment you are healing your teammates and the next you have a sword through your chest because you focused on just one thing."_

When they entered the bar, they were directed at one table near the corner. The waiter took their order and walked away.

"So, what are we looking for?" Dante asked.

" _Well, dealers are usually sitting alone or with some hot chick; look very average; will not be drinking and are visited by buyers once in a while."_ Freyra said in the microphone.

The agents started scanning the place for anyone that fit the description. The dance floor was more or less empty; the people in the tables and bar looked unremarkable and none of the waiters looked particularly suspicious. The entire bar was illuminated by dark lights that gave an eerie glow to most things. They decided to wait.

* * *

Two hours into the mission they were still without a suspect.

"I'm going to the bathroom" Dante said. They had been drinking and to keep appearances. He stood up and walked to the back of the club. The loud music and flashing lights were starting to give him a headache. Thankfully, the inside of the bathroom blocked the signal of his communication devices: for once, his partners in the truck (runny noses and all) were silent. After relieving his bladder, he walked to the sinks to wash his hands. A man in a black shirt next to him spoke:

"Girls won't put out?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"Sometimes they need a little extra push. If you need some help, tell the waiter to serve them an Alexander's Holy. It's pricey, but worth it." The stranger grinned. Just when he could have used Reno's help, he was out of reach.

"Thanks man, maybe I will." Dante answered, giving the stranger his best try at a complicit grin.

That was easy. It seemed all he had to do was order some obscure, roofied drink and they would have the sample. Come to think of it, all but one of the victims had been women, so it made sense that it was offered in the men's bathroom. Dante though how fitting it was to slip drugs on an Alexander Holy: the drink was concocted with a couple of strong liquors, but most notably, with a sports drink. Back in his family's Inn, he would sometimes prepare it for young guests in their Spring Break, along with other cocktails he considered downright tacky.

As he approached the table, Cissnei and Elena rose from their seats. The blonde hand-signaled they were going to the bathroom. When Dante sat back at the table, he began filling Reno and Freyra on his discovery.

" _Could be. What do you think, yo?"_

" _You'll have to order it to make the quick test"_

"Test?"

" _Elena is carrying a dropper with a chemical that colors mako…"_

A waiter left three shot glasses on the table. Dante gave him a thumb up, focused on the conversation with his partners.

"… _order the drink and when it arrives, soak a napkin in it. Add a drop of the chemical on the stain and if it turns red within two minutes, we'll know it has been tainted with mako."_

"Understood" Dante grabbed one of the shot glasses and gulped it.

" _Wait! What did you just drank, yo!?"_

"One of this shots that… Why!?"

" _Some guy offered Cissnei something to "lighten up the mood". We supposed that they could be slipping the drug in the drinks"_ Freyra's panicked voice came.

" _Why would you slam some unknown drink like that, yo?"_

" _Wait… Are you not sensitive or allergic to mako or something like that"_ Freyra said.

In a more illuminated area they would have seen Dante's face drain of all color.

"Shit! What now?" The rookie asked, breathing heavily.

" _Ok, calm down and wait for Elena to return and mix the chemical with the other drinks, yo."_

" _No time for that Reno! Dante: go to the bathroom and puke!"_ Freyra ordered. Dante rose from his seat and ran back to the bathroom. In the rush, he knocked some guy's drink on the sequined dress of his companion. Dante did not even stop to apologize and continued to the bathroom.

After his anorexic episode, the rookie returned to the table, where his companions were sitting. They were observing a couple of napkins as if they were the most interesting thing this side of Junon. Dante was still feeling a sour taste in his mouth, so he grabbed the first glass he found on the table and took a big gulp of… a sports drink mixed with alcohol. Elena raised her eyes from the napkins and saw Dante lower the drink, glass half empty. The rookie realized what had just happened at the same time the blonde exclaimed:

"Oh shit!"

" _What now?"_ Freyra said.

"Oh no!" Cissnei joined.

"Dante just drank half of the Alexander thingy…" Elena said. The rookie resisted the urge of vomiting right there.

" _Dude! Why do you keep slamming unknown drinks like that, yo!"_

"It _does_ have mako!" Cissnei said, pointing at one of the napkins, which now had developed a red stain on it.

" _Get the sample in the tube and leave ASAP! Dante: go puke again!"_ Freyra said. Elena produced a plastic tube from her purse and filled it up with the drink. The agents rose from their seats, preparing their escape, when a hand grabbed a fistful of Dante's shirt. It was the guy whose drink he had spilled on the way to the bathroom earlier.

"Think you could leave without me teaching you a lesson?" The man prepared his right hand for a punch. Dante managed to block the hit and kick his attacker, who fell backwards into a group of people, who pushed more people behind them. The sound of broken glasses and spilled drinks could barely be heard above the music. A brawl erupted in the bar. Bottles started flying across the area and the screams soon made the music seem relatively quiet.

" _Let me guess… A riot just started…"_ a resigned Freyra said. Dante could practically picture the Turk rubbing the bridge of her nose as Tseng did.

In the midst of the pandemonium, Dante reached for his materia glove in the jacket. He was starting to feel dizzy.

"Come on! We have to leave now!" Cissnei yelled. From her purse she pulled a handful of knives that with a swift motion assembled into an oversized shuriken. Elena was already kicking some people out of the way. When Dante got to his feet, he felt the room spin around him. Unable to deliver a decent punch, he started pushing people out of the way. Cissnei was making a good job on moving the excess people with her weapon, when three security guards entered. She started fighting all three at the same time. Dante fell yet another tug at the back of his shirt.

"Where do you think you're going?" spilled-drink guy said. This time he could not block the punch in time. It was quickly followed by another, and then he was shoved towards the bar, where the rookie cut open an eyebrow on a misplaced bottle. His aggressor reached for him yet again, so Dante attempted a kick. Unfortunately, it turned out that the tight pants all the cool kids wore were not precisely flexible and his leg was stopped very easily.

Dante turned around so that his opponent was between him and the bar. He then focused on the Gravity materia in his glove. The glowing object distracted his rival for a split second and then, several bottles of liquor and glasses that were resting behind the bar began flying towards them. One of the aimlessly summoned bottles smashed against his opponent's head. With the distraction, Dante turned around and attempted to dash to the exit, but it was no use: the mako-enhanced drug was already taking effect. He caught a glimpse of Cissnei knocking out the last guard. With one last-ditch effort, Dante focused on the All-paired-Time materia of his glove and began readying a Stop spell. After he cast, the entire bar stood still.

Elena and Cissnei reached for his partner and helped him up. They all knew that while the All materia had made the Time spell affect every non-ally, it had also reduced its strength, even more so given the amount of targets it had affected at once. With difficulty, the Turks pushed the frozen people away and walked as fast as possible to the exit.

On the street, the apple juice truck was waiting. Reno opened the back door and along with Rude, pulled his almost unconscious partner in.

"We're putting you in Shin-Ra's AA program, yo."

"Want to drug someone? Mako." Rude said.

Cissnei and Elena climbed up and while they were shutting the doors, they heard the bouncer yell something unintelligible at them. Once the team was complete, they escaped their disastrous mission. In the back, Freyra was contacting the medical team for their arrival. Dante felt the first two sharp curves taken by Rude and then fell unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to finish a story quickly? Mako!
> 
> Now, as far as I know there is no canonical age for Freyra, so lets assume she is older than Reno.
> 
> Anyways, this is another multi-chapter arc... My promise of one adventure-per chapter didn't last long, it seems :V
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave your comments and suggestions


	10. Busted

Dante awoke in the hospital covered in cold sweat.

The room was dimly lit and the break of dawn could be seen in the horizon beyond the buildings in the upper plate. He tried to piece together what had happened before. The events of the night before slowly returned to him.

A nurse passed by the door and saw him sitting in the bed. She entered and began taking his vitals.

"We had to perform a stomach pumping to remove any lingering drugs. Luckily, you are out of danger now" the nurse said as she flashed a penlight on his pupils. "Now, given the stomach-washing procedure, you should expect some throat discomfort. Also, your boss asked that you report to work as usual," she concluded.

" _Leave it to Tseng to maximize efficiency,"_ Dante thought.

The nurse gave Dante some medicine for his irritated throat and left him to dress and leave. As he prepared to leave for his department to shower and put on his uniform, Dante noticed that there were other patients in the room: the beds were hiding behind opaque curtains, but one of them was mumbling something in his sleep.

As Dante walked to the exit the patient in the bed next to his caught a glimpse of him. It was one of the cadets he had knocked out during his examination a couple days ago. When the bed-ridden would-be SOLDIER saw the Turk he started yelling at the top of his lungs:

"You! You did this to me!" He then lunged forward and tackled Dante to the floor from the bed. The cadet had long bruises all over his arms and around his neck. With the commotion, a nurse and a burly assistant entered. They quickly separated the distraught cadet from Dante.

"Go! Get out before he awakes the others!" the nurse said.

Dante need not be told twice. He grabbed the jacket and dashed to the door. Behind him, the infantrymen yelled: "He… He did things to us!" Then he broke down in unintelligible sobs, curled up in a ball and went on crying. Another cadet awoke and started chanting in his bed, eyes wide open and pupils thin as needles: _"Estuans interius, ira vehementi! Estuans interius, ira vehementi!"_

More nurses poured into the room and started injecting sedatives on the awakening young men while Dante escaped through the hallway. Dante signed out of the hospital and went back to his apartment wondering what that incident had been about. While he showered it struck him. He hurried out of the shower trying not to think too much into it or into what Cissnei had told him about Sephiroth's "severe" punishments.

At the office, Dante found Rude in his desk. He was disassembling a DVD player, moving its boards and wires.

"Nobody here yet?" he asked. Rude shook his head. He then inserted a blob of white paste into the device and started soldering wires emanating from it to other parts of the appliance's interior. Dante had seen Rude do that before: he had an innate ability to make explosives out of seemingly ordinary things. Of course, military-grade C4 always helped, but what really amazed the rookie was the fact that innocuous things such as microwave ovens, toasters and hair dryers could be used for such a purpose. Unfortunately, much to Dante's dismay, the custom of storing dangerous items in the office was not limited to Freyra's shotgun: it turned out there was a tiny room with an invisible door in the wall right behind Dante's desk and it was stocked to the roof with tampered appliances, explosives and other less-than-discreet bombs.

Tseng entered the room, followed by Freyra and Reno, who were carrying several folders on their arms.

"Rude, how many times I have told you not to build explosives in the office?" the boss asked. As usual, the request fell on deaf ears, because no matter how many times he called Rude's attention, the Turk would be building something else within aweek.

"Dante, good you are OK. Now, go assist Cissnei and Elena to media room 4. They'll fill you in." Reno and Freyra walked with the boss to his office and closed the door. Dante followed the instruction and went to meet the other agents.

Once in the video room, he saw Elena and Cissnei in front of several screens, reviewing what it seemed to be security footage.

"Good you are here. Coffee, please…" the brunette said as soon as Dante walked in through the door. He immediately turned around and made his way to the coffee shop. There, Dante had to deal with John's observations:

"Well shit! Reno is beginning to rub on you!" he said as soon as he saw the Turk.

"What?"

"Modern haircut and… Did you pierce your ear?" he said, leaning forward and squinting at Dante's metal stud.

"Ah, shit!" He forgot to take it out. "It was for a mission!" Dante excused himself quickly.

"Sure, sure," the barista said with a grin, while making coffee. "It looks good, though. I mean, as long as you don't do overboard with it like Rude."

After receiving the drinks, Dante returned to his partners, who were now focused on a screen. The women were watching a loop of a man walking through a security gate.

"It has to be in the backpack! I mean, there is no other way." Elena said.

"Impossible! Look: the guard at the entrance opens it like usual and finds nothing!"

Indeed, the video showed a security officer checking the contents of the man's backpack. After a quick inspection, he closed it and gave it back to its owner.

"What are we watching?" Dante asked while delivering the cups to Cissnei and Elena.

"The Science Department discovered the mako of the drink came from reactor 05 so we are reviewing the security tapes. It seems this man is the culprit, but we are yet to figure out how exactly he is taking it out of the complex," Elena said.

"We'll have to inspect his department. Where is he housed?" Cissnei asked.

"Department 303 of building 76. He is still at the reactor. I'll give you a heads up if he comes out early." Elena said, reading from a laptop on top of the video consoles.

"Dante, let's go." Cissnei said. The rookie followed her out of Shin-Ra and towards one of the many department buildings around sector Zero. Once in front of the door, Cissnei kneeled and pulled a set of lock-picks from her pocket.

"Don't we need an order or something?" Dante asked innocently.

"You'll soon find that we have several privileges when it comes to keeping Shin-Ra's secrets safe." After inserting various tools and playing with them in the lock, the door opened. "Gloves on," she said.

They put on a pair of leather gloves and walked into the department. Several floor plans, schedules and pages of something that looked like computer code were on papers that covered the walls. After examining the papers without moving or touching anything, Cissnei said: "well, he IS the culprit. He has detailed record of everything and even a list of possible uses for the mako. But still… how is he taking the mako out?"

She walked out of the living room and into the bedroom, from where the sound of opening closet doors came. Dante examined the main room. It seemed to be just like the one he occupied, except that this guy had purchased different couches and appeared to have an inordinate liking for sports drinks: bottles of the lime-flavored drink cluttered the kitchen counter and unopened cases of it were piled on the corner. Then Dante noticed that those on the cases had a slightly different hue than those on the counter: the later ones almost seemed to be… glowing.

" _Alexander Holy"_ Dante thought. "Cissnei, come check this out," he called. His partner entered the living room and saw what the rookie was pointing out. She seemed to make the same connection quickly, so they opened one of the bottles: it had the seawater-like smell of mako.

"He always comes out of the reactor with a half-empty bottle of these drinks. He was sneaking it out like this," she said.

"But why mix it with the drinks?" Dante asked.

"Mako is a very addictive substance by itself. He probably sold it promoting it as means to draw more clients in," Cissnei said with her gloved fingers resting on her chin.

"No wonder it took so long to find the mako then. Cocktails made with sports drinks are not very popular."

"That's it! Those that were brought to the E.R. only had mako poisoning symptoms and were frequents of that bar. We thought that it was drugs, but no: it was the mako alone, because once mixed with something else he probably couldn't purify it back."

"So, my poor tolerance to mako was what made me lose consciousness last night?"

"It would seem so." Cissnei then took out her PHS and called Tseng. After a short exchange, she hanged and told Dante: "Tseng wants us back at the office; we are going to arrest this guy before he leaves the reactor today." As they walked back to the door, Dante began:

"Cissnei…"

She turned around to see his partner.

"Thanks… For helping me out of there while I was falling unconscious," he said.

"Of course… Nobody likes to be abandoned."

* * *

That afternoon, Tseng, Reno, Elena and Dante were sitting in a control room watching nervously the arrest: Freyra, Rude and Cissnei wore body cameras that gave a live feed to the control room.

" _All ready chief. Just give the order,"_ Freyra said through the screen.

"Proceed," Tseng said.

Freyra's shotgun appeared on screen, raised at an aiming position that covered the lowermost part of her camera. Cissnei inserted a keycard in a reader and the doors of the reactor opened. They saw the three Turks enter and move throughout the hallways. Occasionally, some of the accompanying members of the Shin-Ra infantry could be seen on the screens. After walking through the maze of elevated metallic walkways, they arrived at a control room. Rude's large body momentarily blocked the view of Cissnei's camera as he kicked the door open.

" _FREEZE!"_ Cissnei yelled as they entered, but the engineer immediately dropped to the floor behind some control panels.

" _Come out with your hands behind your head,"_ Freyra said, her shotgun blocking part of her camera. The suspect did not complied, so Rude made a gesture to the infantrymen to move around the consoles aiming at him. They separated him from a laptop and forced him to stand up as Rude moved forward to arrest him.

" _As per article 4, section 3, subsection 46, paragraph 3 of the Shin-Ra Corporation's Treason and Terrorism Act, you are placed under arrest by the Department of Administrative Research,"_ Rude said in a professional tone.

"That's a mouthful" Dante said while thinking that that was the most he had ever hear Rude say.

"He keeps a crib sheet in his pocket, yo."

Just when they thought the operation was a success, a scream came from the screens. Cissnei's camera turned around and focused on an infantryman: he was being attacked by one of the reactor's guard Grunts, its clawed hands had made a sizeable scratch on the front of the man's chest.

" _What the…!"_ Freyra exclaimed.

More Grunts in suits of blue started falling from the ventilation shafts and entering through the door. Soon, more than twenty of the units were running around the Turks and infantrymen. One by one, they started attacking. Freyra's shotgun started shredding them to pulp at close-quarters while the machine guns of the infantrymen pierced holes in others. Rude and Cissnei joined in the attack with materia and kicks, but it was proving useless: more and more Grunts, now with red and black suits were pouring in.

" _Tseng! He's escaping!"_ Cissnei's voice said through the motion-blurred screen.

"What is happening? Those units should not attack Shin-Ra workers!" Elena said. Tseng started typing in one of the screens. In the video, they could see a group of Grunts take down another screaming infantryman.

The Turk's cameras showed them running out of the saturated control room and through the elevated walkways, were a number of Grunts and Aero Combatants were attacking them. They could hear the metal claws of the cyborg guard scratching the floor of the walkways.

The agents jumped down a flight of stairs were a larger member of the robo-guard was waiting: a Sweeper opened fire as soon as the Turks reached the floor. They took cover under whatever they could find in the reactor. Suddenly, Rude's camera went dark; the screen showed a white message that read "Signal lost".

"Rude! Man, where are you, yo!?"

" _He's on the other side of the room, he's OK"_ Cissnei said.

" _Shit! The suspect is escaping in a Shin-Ra transport truck from behind the reactor."_ Freyra said while reloading her shotgun. She then shot a shell on an oncoming Grunt's head.

"You three, get to the helicopter!" Tseng said without raising his head from the screen he was typing in. Dante was pulled from the distressing scene in the screens by Reno, who guided him out of the room. Elena caught up with them shortly after. While they dashed to the elevators, Reno opened his PHS and dialed.

"It's Reno, I need a chopper ASAP, yo! Arm her up!" he hanged and waited the elevator door to open. When they arrived at the helipad, the blades of the black helicopter emblazoned with the red Shin-Ra logo were already spinning. An air marshaller directed them to the door. Reno and Elena got to the controls, while Dante manned the back.

Reno signaled Dante over the roar of the engine to a set of headphones. The noise-cancelling was instantaneous. The voice the redhead could be heard:

"Please don't puke here kid." Dante then felt a strange pull in his stomach as the helicopter took off. This was not quite the way he expected his first flight to be.

"We have communication from Tseng. I'm putting him through," Elena said.

" _Reno, do you copy?"_

"Clear. Status update?" The helicopter rose above the Shin-Ra HQ.

" _It appears the code found in the suspect's department was for tampering with the AI of the robo-guard in the reactor. He was expecting us. The others are OK so far, Heidegger has deployed SOLDIERs to assist them."_

"Where is the suspect headed?" Dante asked.

" _He is currently heading East on the highway over sectors 5 and 4. I'm transmitting the signal of the truck to your control panel. Capture him alive, we must interrogate him to determine if he is in league with someone else. Over."_

"All right kid: you'll be the gunner. Elena, strap him, yo." Reno turned the controls and headed to the sector between reactors 5 and 4.

"The gunner? I've never fire one of these, much less from a moving helicopter!" Dante said as he eyed the machine gun mounted next to the door. Elena moved behind Dante and started putting a harness over his torso. She then secured it from the back to the helicopter's roof.

"You'll have to do it unless you want to pilot, yo!"

Elena returned to the controls next to Reno. "45 seconds until rendezvous! The highway has been cleared from regular traffic, so don't worry about hitting someone else!"

"Put on the goggles hanging behind the seat, yo! Watch it when you open the door, you don't want to fall!"

"30 seconds!"

Dante removed the headphones and put on the goggles. After he donned the communication device on top of the elastic straps, he heard Elena:

"5 seconds! You'll have 67 seconds of direct fire, aim at the engine!"

"Go!" Reno ordered. Dante pulled down the red lever of the door and it slide to the side. The rush of cold evening air hit the rookie hard on the face and chilled him to the bone. Dante released the safety of the machine gun and aimed at the moving truck. The helicopter was far steadier than he supposed it would be, but still, there was a lot of movement to account for before pulling the trigger.

"What are you waiting for, yo? Fire!"

Dante adjusted one last time and began showering the highway. Plumes of dust raised from the road as the bullets impacted around the truck, which started swiveling. A second stream of projectiles hit the cargo hold of the truck, creating several holes in it. Finally, Dante placed a hit just above the front wheel and seconds later, abundant smoke started pouring from beneath the hood. The truck slowed to a halt in the middle of the road. The door of the driver's side opened and the suspect jumped down. He dashed to the back of the truck and opened the cargo hold door. He disappeared inside it.

"I can't see him! What now?" Dante asked through the microphone.

"I'm landing now, yo."

" _Reno, do you hear me?"_ Tseng's voice came from the headphones.

"The truck has been stopped chief. He's hiding inside the cargo area."

" _Be careful: the truck was delivering a new large robo-guard to the reactor. The suspect may have codes for altering it too."_

Right at that moment, the entire truck shook and fell to its side across the road, blocking it. From the inside, something pushed the metal exterior of the cargo area: a metallic grey hand emerged from the convex bulge, ripping the metal as if it were paper. From the inside of the truck, an enormous green robot guard tore apart the metal and started hovering above the ground.

"What the hell is that, yo!?"

" _The Air Buster: it is a prototype sent for tests by Scarlet. According to Weapons Development it is fully armed."_

The robot raised its head and started tracking the movement of the helicopter with its glowing red eyes. The machine then started firing at them.

"Woa! Shit!" Dante exclaimed as the bullets pierced the fuselage around him, sending sparks flying around the cabin. Reno made an attempt to move out of the line of fire in a violent tug of the controls while Dante grabbed with all his strength from whatever he could hold on to avoid falling out of the still open door.

"Dante! There is an RPG in the back!" Elena said.

The Air Buster opened a panel in the front of its body and launched a rocket at them. The artifact described a zig-zag path through the air, leaving a glowing trail behind it. The bomb hit the tail of the helicopter, which immediately started spinning out of Reno's control. Dante managed to pull himself to the seat and fasten his seatbelt as an alarm activated somewhere in the cabin.

"Ah shit! We are going down, yo!"

"Reno! I have to say it in case we don't make it!" Elena said, tears forming in her eyes. "I set you up with that trap!"

"You WHAT!?"

"Is this really the last thing you want me to hear before I die!?" Dante exclaimed from the back.

"You broke my favorite mug! I wanted to get back at you! I didn't mean for him to go all the way!"

"You crazy bitch! I was blown by a dude because of a cup!?"

"Yes!" Elena started laughing maniacally, tears rolling down her cheeks.

With a final spin, the helicopter crashed on the highway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And cliffhanger! I swear I'm not doing this on purpose! Well, maybe a bit…
> 
> Now, as for the odor of mako: there is no official statement other than Sephiroth's line that "the smell of mako is pretty bad", something that could be interpreted in many ways. In many fics it is described as smelling of chemicals or as something toxic or even rotten. Quite honestly I always found hard to imagine mako smelling of such things; after all it is made of souls, memories and can even form new life. The one thing that I always associated with those descriptors is seawater: those that have been near the sea (specially a tropical sea) will undoubtedly know what I'm talking about. But enough fanwankinq!
> 
> Now, I wanted to ask those of you that are following this story for some feedback: what do you think of the story so far (format, chapter length, character(s) use). What would you say about inserting a some character development? The OC's seem a bit of outside observers to the story so far and I want to experiment with that a bit. The story would always remain about some Turks mission with odd humor here and there, but I'd like to sprinkle some character development across chapters.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Leave me your comments and suggestions ;)
> 
> And as usual, thanks for reading this story.


	11. Boom box

Freyra emptied the last of her shells on a Grunt, sending pieces of gore and drops of blood flying about. It was down to the Turks and two infantrymen in a deep storage area of the reactor. Cissnei's shuriken and Rude's repertoire of punches had taken out several enemies, but now they were beginning to show signs of tiredness. The Sweeper robot had been destroyed, but several Grunts were still roaming around. Given the size of the reactors and how important their security was, it was not surprising the sheer number of units stationed for defense.

A clicking sound to her side revealed that the magazine of one of the infantrymen's rifle was empty. He tossed the weapon and pulled a nightstick form his holster. Freyra had a couple of materia in her glove, but was not as adept as Elena in its use.

Freyra aimed, prepared and casted a Mantra Magic spell; orbs of light hat appeared behind her spread in long arcs and converged of one of the enemies, which fell to the ground after an explosion.

"You were carrying _that_ materia and you use it until now!?" Cissnei claimed while throwing her shuriken at an oncoming Grunt, the Added-effect of the paired Ice materia left shards of crystalized water in the cut made on the cyborg guard.

"I forgot! Normally the shotgun suffices!"

"Quick! Cast a healing spell or…" a new wave of Grunts entered the room from a shaft in the roof "Beta! Cast Beta!"

"An explosion in a closed room!?"

"Those make the best explosions" Rude said.

One of the Grunts leapt to Freyra's face during the moment of doubt. She barely managed to block it with the empty shotgun. The infantryman turned to help, aiming his machine gun… And it clicked empty too. Just when he launched to the back of the enemy assaulting the brunette, trying to pull it away from her, the door on the room opened and four sword-wielding figures entered.

"Fear not! Your knight in shining armor is here!"

"Zack, you are wearing black. That hardly constitutes a "shining" color"

"Come on Kunsel; let me have that at least!"

"Shut up and help us!" Freyra yelled at them, blocking the clawing Grunt with her empty shotgun.

A swift motion of Zack's sword later, and the Grunt lay in half across the room. Kunsel and the other two 3rd class SOLDIERs quickly dispatched the remaining enemies. When the room was clear of enemies and the Turks had time to catch their breath, Cissnei walked towards Zack.

"You came…"

"That's what she said" Rude muttered to Freyra through the side of his mouth. She only chuckled discretely.

"Of course! When I heard my favorite Turk girl needed it, I just had to come!"

More chuckles.

"Lieutenant Fair. What's the status on the suspect that escaped?" Freyra cut in, seeing she had no reception in the bottom of the reactor.

"I mean, I know I should not have preferences towards anyone, but…"

"Zack, focus! What happened to our guy?" Cissnei said.

"Ah, I think I heard your partners were chasing him in a chopper and that reinforcements were on the way, but that's when we entered here and I have been out of communication's reach and…"

The Turks ran out of the room after a quick "thank you" for the SOLDIERs. Near the entrance, they recovered the link to Tseng.

"Status update?" Freyra asked.

" _I need you in a helicopter now! The suspect took over an experimental robo-guard in the highway. It shot down Reno and the others, they need backup right now."_

Cissnei scanned the area behind the reactor: the vehicle they had taken there had been hit by the suspect during his escape, and now lay on its side completely wrecked. The only other mode of transportation there was…

"To the chopper!" Freyra said, as she dashed to the stationed aircraft there. A pilot that was resting next to it watched them approach and met them halfway there, waving his hands at them:

"Wait! This helicopter is for exclusive use of SOLDIER operatives! I cannot let you… Croak"

A frog fell from a cloud of mist summoned from Freyra's materia to the place where the pilot had been.

"Thank goodness Elena uses Sleep… These things are gross," Freyra said as she tiptoed around the frogged operative, whom despite his state clearly had a shocked expression in his amphibian face.

"Seriously!? That could've helped us half an hour ago with the Grunts!" Cissnei said while climbing in the back.

"And have more of those slimy things jumping around? No thank you!" Freyra said, sliding the door closed. After Rude manned the controls, the hijacked aircraft flew towards the crash site.

* * *

"Everyone OK?" Elena said, blood dripping from her split eyebrow.

"Aw, shit! I have a cut in my face, yo!"

"That's hardly important right now Reno…" Dante said, trying to wriggle out of the tangled harness. A sharp pain in his left clavicle let him know the harness probably fractured it during the crash.

"But what if it leaves a mark, yo?"

"Umm, I'm more concerned about getting bullet holes right now" Elena said, as she noticed the approaching Air Buster.

"Oh shit!"

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" Reno exclaimed, releasing the lock of the seat belt and trying to open the stuck door next to him.

The Air Buster reached with its hand to the wreck, picked it up and raised up to its red eyes. Its sensors detected nothing inside except a rising temperature near the engine. Below, the Turks had managed a last second ditching of their aircraft, and were now sprinting towards the transport truck. The robot went on scanning every inch of the aircraft, unaware that its passengers had already entered the cargo area of the truck behind it.

Inside the cargo area they found their suspect huddled next to an open laptop seeing a video feed of the Air Buster's cameras. He let out a loud gasp as he heard Reno extend his EMR and Dante cock the hammer of his handgun at him. Then Elena began:

"As per article 4, section 3 and… What was next?"

"I dunno, yo" Reno said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Pff, whatever: you are busted, pal! Now, shut the robot down!"

"Ha! Why would I do that?" the man said.

"Because otherwise this will really do a number in you, yo," Reno said while activating the EMR: it started emitting an arc of electricity and a sparking sound.

"Eek! Alright, alright!" The man slowly lowered one hand at the laptop and hit a single key. The video feed of the screen showed the robot turning around and facing the truck in which they were currently hiding. Outside, the machine tossed the helicopter remains to the ground, where upon contact began leaking fuel on the pavement.

"HA! Idiots! You will all die here at the hands of…" Elena had cut him out with a slap to the face with her glowing hand. The engineer slumped to the side, fast asleep.

"Sleep, Elena? Instead of Confusion?" Dante asked at the apparent mishap.

"Ah…" she said, realizing her mistake.

"Oh shit! That thing is coming, yo!" Reno said, peeking through a hole in the truck's side.

"Ok, all we have to do is keep that thing busy and away from this guy until reinforcements arrive!" she said quickly. "Does any of you have Lighting materia?"

They both shook their heads. Dante made a mental note to add something more practical than Time and Gravity to his glove. Bullet holes appeared on the top of the truck's metal wall. The Turks dropped to the ground.

"Ok, one of us will run to the wreck and retrieve the RPG from the back while the other two distract the robot!"

At that moment, an explosion could be heard outside of the truck. The entire highway trembled as it acquired a fiery orange tint.

"What was that?" Dante asked. Reno peeked out of the truck.

"That _was_ the helicopter, yo…"

"Are you kidding me!?"

A mechanical hand pierced through the top of the storage area. It waved madly, trying to grasp any of its targets. The Turks dropped to the floor.

"I say two of us stay behind it and the other one on the front and then we take turns attacking it" Elena said.

"Take turns? In a fight? That's stupid, yo!"

"Ok… I'll cast Haste on us to give us a bit of advantage, we need to spread around it," Dante proposed.

"Good enough!" Elena answered, giving him a thumb up.

Dante readied the All-paired Time materia and cast the spell. The Turks left the cargo area of the truck and ran around the Air Buster at an increased speed. They started attacking the robot, Dante emptying his magazine trying to hit the head and Reno using the electric EMR at its base. The robot attacked with its machine gun as best as it could, but the speed of the suited opponents was making difficult for its tampered AI to aim.

At that moment, another Shin-Ra helicopter flew above them. From the side door, they could see Freyra aiming a mounted machine gun. The newly arrived Turk began firing at the machine, but unfortunately the thick armor deflected the bullets in all directions. Dante rolled to a ball in the corner between the asphalt and the barrier of the side while Elena dropped to the ground, plumes of dirt and rocks emanating from the ground were the bouncing bullets hit. Reno started waving at the helicopter:

"Hey! Stop, yo! You'll hi-FUCK!" Reno yelled as a stray bullet grazed his arm.

Inside the helicopter Freyra saw the friendly fire accident and decided to change strategy. They hovered above the event and then, little by little, she and Cissnei began pushing a large box out of the door. The weapon crate fell right on top of the machine, ripping one of its arms apart. The Air Buster twirled on its hovering position, trying to compensate for the sudden change of equilibrium needs. Elena reached for Reno and started casting a healing spell on his arm. Meanwhile Dante rushed to the crate and extracted with his good arm the RPG inside, ignoring the pain in his other clavicle while raising the heavy metal tube.

"What the…" He exclaimed. Upon closer inspection, it had no ammunition inside and there were no extra rounds in the box. One of the ever-present notes was taped to the inside of the crate's lid:

_Zack: remember to tell Sephiroth we used the ammo of this one._

_-Zack_

"Son of a…!" Bullets began zooming around him. Dante dropped to the ground behind the empty crate. Now they were in trouble.

Elena and Reno retreated to the back of the overturned truck while Dante dashed to the other side of the smoking helicopter. Dante fired his last rounds at the machine and then ran around the wreck and behind the Air Buster to regroup with his partners.

"Ok, now what?" he asked, as Elena began casting a healing spell on him.

Once they were behind cover, Freyra began firing again. They could still hear the bullets bouncing of the armored device, but were more or less safe.

A new helicopter hovered above them and two figures jumped from it: one of them was Sephiroth, who fell gracefully to the ground. Next to him, Lieutenant Angeal landed with a black box over his shoulder.

"They sent _them_?" Elena said.

"I honestly don't care as long as they take care of that piece of junk, yo."

Dante could not help to think that the machine was screwed. Sephiroth signaled at the aircraft, which took off, followed by the one piloted by the Turks. Once the helicopters cleared the area, Sephiroth commanded Angeal:

"Hit it!"

Angeal lowered the black device in front of him and pushed a button. It started emanating sound: it was a boom box. A menacing orchestral melody played while the SOLDIER began attacking the machine with his long sword. Soon, a dramatic chorus started singing along:

" _Estuans interius, ira vehementi!_

_Estuans interius, ira vehementi!_

_Sephiroth!"_

"He has his own musical theme?" Dante asked, flabbergasted.

"Oh yes, he does! The dude carries that thing to every mission, yo!"

"President Shin-Ra had a symphonic orchestra record it for him," Elena said.

The battle ended quickly, when Sephiroth jumped to the air and, while falling, split the machine in half. The general stood there for a moment observing his handiwork and then signaled to the helicopters again. The aircrafts landed on the highway beyond the overturned truck. After that, Sephiroth walked to the Turks.

He observed the destroyed Air Buster, the helicopter wreck, the overturned truck and the bullet-hole-filled road. They observed that he was wearing a greenish clay face mask.

"I take you have the suspect in custody _at least_ ," he said, a bit of a razor edge in his voice.

The Turks peeked inside the truck to make sure the engineer was still unconscious inside the cargo area. For all they knew, his brain could have been blown out by a stray bullet. Luckily, they found him just were they left him, complete with a laptop full of evidence.

"Yes, sir. We have." Elena said.

"Good. I do not wish to be interrupted again in the middle of my day off." He turned and walked to his helicopter, Angeal following with the boom box over his shoulder.

Meanwhile, Freyra and Cissnei had jumped from their helicopter and were walking towards their partners. They crossed in front of Sephiroth, but kept a professional demeanor at the green-faced-SOLDIER.

When they had gathered together, Cissnei broke the silence:

"I needed my camera so badly right…"

"I know! I wonder what brand he uses" Freyra answered.

"Forget the face mask, yo! What conditioner?"

"Guys. A little help?" Elena said as she and Dante dragged their suspect out of the truck. After separating the engineer from his laptop and handcuffing him, they dragged him to the helicopter and tossed him to the back in a less-than-delicate way.

By then, several trucks with crews of builders and scrappers had arrived, and were busy dismantling the helicopter, truck and Air Buster; filling the holes in the pavement and barriers and scrubbing skid and burn marks in the area.

"Who are those?" Dante asked, as he handed Freyra the laptop, now in a bag that read "evidence" on the front.

"They are the Construction, Overlay, Veneering, Edifications and Rendering Operations crew. They basically reconstruct everything that is damaged in Shin-Ra operations" she said. They climbed in the helicopter, shut the door and took off. Through the window, Dante observed how mere minutes after their arrival, the remains of the Air Buster had been placed on a truck's platform, covered in canvas and sent somewhere else.

"If needed, they can reconstruct a whole town." Elena said.

"Have hey ever done that?"

"Umm… Maybe," Cissnei concluded. Dante was about to inquire more when Reno came from the back of the helicopter carrying cans of soda and bottles of water.

"Man, they really do pamper those SOLDIERs, they have a cooler in the back, yo."

"Wait, this is a SOLDIER chopper?" Elena asked.

"We kind of borrowed it when leaving the reactor." Freyra opened a water bottle.

"What happened to the team that arrived in it?"

"Don't worry about that Dante, I'll send it back to pick them up," Cissnei said reassuringly.

By the time they arrived at the Shin-Ra HQ, their suspect had already awakened. The team led him to the interrogation room in a closed formation that caught several glances from other employees. Once their suspect was sitting in front of the table, the Turks assembled outside of the room.

"OK. Who's the good cop and who's the bad one?" Cissnei asked.

"I say we introduce him to my beautiful girl Emrys, yo," Reno said, pulling his trusty weapon.

"He's just an engineer, not a war prisoner Reno." Freyra said.

"Ugh, alright, alright… I'll be the good cop, Rude will be the bad one."

The partners entered the dimly-lit room and sat opposite to the suspect while the rest of the agents observed from the other side of the one-way mirror.

"So, mister…" Reno read something from a file "Williams… It appears you did quite a number on Shin-Ra property, yo."

"Why are we wasting time? I say we send him to the Corel Desert prison for life." Rude cut in.

Williams saw at the agents and said: "Let me guess, you are the good cop and you the bad cop…" The Turks exchanged a look and then Reno said:

"Well, the jig is up, yo." Reno then jumped from his chair, crawled over the metal table and tackled their suspect, knocking him backwards along with the chair. "You son of a bitch! See this?! Huh!? What do you think I'll do if it leaves a scar in my face, yo?!" He yelled while pointing at the tiny bruise next to his mouth. It had been healed by Elena long ago, but the one thing that everyone learned the first months working with Reno was that the Turk would not forgive any sort of damage to his face.

Rude had walked around the table and was trying to get between the suspect and the enraged redhead. Cissnei and Elena entered to the room and dragged Reno to the other side of the room while Rude pulled Williams to the opposite corner and held him protectively in his arms.

"I'll find you! I'll find you and then I'll melt you in the mako you so love to steal!"

"Reno! Calm down! It's not so bad!" Elena said, holding one of his arms

"No! When I'm done with this bastard he will look worse that Malboro shit, yo!"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Freyra said in exasperation at the unfolding scene on the other side of the glass, a hand on her forehead.

"Stop him! He's crazy!" the engineer yelled.

"Tell us what we want to know! Who do you work for?" Cissnei said from behind Reno.

"No one! I just wanted to make a quick Gil!"

"Bullshit, yo! Someone pretty big must have financed the hacking of the robots!" he had wriggled his arm out of Elena´s grasp and was now pointing menacingly at him.

"It's the truth! Please! The passwords were very easy! It was downhill from there! Don't hurt me!" he broke down sobbing in Rude's arms.

The women dragged a screaming Reno out of the room and shut the door behind him.

"Is this your idea of being the "good cop", Reno?" Freyra asked.

"Hey! If it worked…" he said nonchalantly, all trace of his previous rage gone.

"Ugh… Kid, go update Tseng. And deliver this, we need analysis of the data," Freyra then handed the bagged laptop.

Dante walked away from the interrogation room, from which Rude's "Shh, shh, he can't hurt you now" could be heard. In the office, he found not only Tseng, but Scarlet and Heidegger too. Dante filled them in on the interrogation, when he finished, they began arguing.

"It appears electronic security of the robot guard requires a major overhaul. The fact that the suspect could take over the AI of such important devices is proof that…"

"Don't pin this on me Tseng! All my servers and equipment are secure. Once I deliver them to this idiot he changes the passwords and they become his responsibility!" Scarlet cut in.

"Nonsense! All the passwords I use are perfectly secure!" the man in green yelled.

"That is what we are going to find out. Is that the suspect's laptop?" Tseng asked at his subordinate.

"Yes, sir." Dante walked forward and delivered it. Tseng opened the device and started typing on it. The other two heads of department looked over his shoulder as he accessed files and records. Finally, he read something that made him stand up straight. He turned to the man in the military uniform.

"Chief Heidegger… Is the password for Shin-Ra's cyborg guard server's _really_ "password1"?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well yes, nobody would expect something as simple! It's genius!"

"You gigantic imbecile! That is not how passwords work!" Scarlet berated as she started clawing at Heidegger with her perfect nails. Tseng restrained the woman as she went on: "the recovery team informed me that Sephiroth destroyed the combat data records! All the information is lost! Because of you!"

Scarlet then stormed out of the office muttering something about planting explosives on the next model of Air Buster.

The three men stood there for a moment. Finally Heidegger said: "well, I… I guess I must get going… And… Change the passwords of everything or something…"

Heidegger left the room, muttering something about writing his passwords down.

Tseng stood there, massaging the bridge of his nose as he often did when stressed.

"Dante, go get me some coffee please… I need to fill some memorandums on security before the next board meeting."

As Dante left to the office, he heard Tseng mutter something others not being as good as Reeve.

In the hallway, he ran into his partners.

"You know what to get us, yo."

As Dante passed by, he heard Cissnei say to the others: "I still think I forgot something…"

* * *

Zack and his team were standing in the cold night air outside the reactor. Kunsel had a frog in his hands.

"Don't worry guys, they'll eventually notice we are missing and send someone to retrieve us…"

"Zack, you said that an hour ago," Kunsel said.

"We could have walked back to HQ already, sir" Erick complemented.

"Croak," said the frog.

"Nonsense! They… They'll notice… Angeal _should_ notice!" Zack said, although his voice seemed to crack a bit at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, the first story arc I had been building up ends!
> 
> What did we learn today? Always use safe passwords and remember to refill your RPG's!
> 
> Thanks again for reading this story!


	12. Cutlery smugglers

"Dante! Wake up! Wake up! I need your assistance!"

The Turk felt his bedsheet pulled away from him. He curled defensively at the sudden cold and hugged his pillow tighter to his bare chest.

"Wake up! We don't have much time!"

"Cissnei?" he said, half asleep. Dante sat cross-legged on the bed, still holding his pillow around his arms. He turned to see the alarm clock. It was barely 5 in the morning. "Wha… What happened? It's too early for this."

"Come on! I need your help with something! Get dressed and meet me at the office in 10!"

As she walked away, she turned on the lights, momentarily blinding her partner. Dante heard the door of his apartment close as he slowly came out of his morning –very early morning- stupor. He walked to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He was putting on his pants when the door of the department opened again, the hurried steps of the brunette came closer to the bedroom.

"You better not have fallen asleep again!"

"Wait! Don't enter!"

She did so either way. In a last moment attempt to pull up his pants Dante slipped, fell to the floor and hit his head on the open door of his closet.

"Stop wasting our time! Hurry!"

"What are we doing anyway?" Dante said as he pulled up his pants on the floor.

"The SOLDIER Firsts are gone! It is our chance!"

"Gone? Chance for what?" Dante asked, confused.

"They departed for Junon a few minutes ago to an event with the President. The rest of the team is gone too."

Dante remembered, the day before, Tseng had reminded them that for the military parade the entire team sans Cissnei and Dante would be required, either as pilots or as extra security for high-ranking members. Dante buttoned up his shirt and asked:

"And it is our chance to…?"

"Collect new merchandise, of course! Very rarely do all SOLDIER members leave at once, so we need to be quick if we want to find the good stuff."

Dante donned his suit jacket and zipped it up. Dante began putting on his boots.

"Merchandise? You are not making any sense! Why do they need to leave?"

As soon as he was ready, Cissnei grabbed his wrist and pulled him away of the bedroom. He has surprised to find a large metal briefcase on his apartment and Cissnei's ever-present camera already there. She tossed him the metallic box and grabbed her camera.

The brunette practically pushed Dante to the elevators, but instead of pressing any floor button, she activated the emergency stop: a red light illuminated the elevator. She then grabbed a previously unnoticed folding metal ladder that was prompted to the wall and extended it on the middle of the small area. Cissnei climbed to the emergency hatch on the roof and pushed it open, then, with a small jump she left the elevator and entered the shaft.

"Cissnei! What on Gaia…!?"

"Come on up! Toss me the briefcase and climb up!"

Not wanting to dwell too much on the legality of whatever they were doing (or about to do, for that matter) Dante followed his partner. Once inside the elevator shaft, they started climbing on a series of haphazardly placed metal bars that may have been a ladder once. They went up several floors this way, something hard for Dante to do because of the metal briefcase on his hand.

Finally, Cissnei reached for the closed floor door and forced it open with ease using a knife pulled from her suit as leverage. They jumped in a carpeted hallway with few doors on either side.

"Cissnei… is this?"

"The 1st Class SOLDIER floor. All ours to go through for the next few hours." Cissnei walked to the nearest door and after putting on a pair of black nitrile gloves, she began inserting tool after tool of her lock-picking set. Dante put on a pair of gloves and went on:

"I still don't know what we are looking for…"

"Anything! The fan clubs feed on a constant stream of news, gossip, clandestine photos and of course, merchandise. Shin-Ra makes plush dolls, backpacks, posters and all sorts of common crap. The real money makers are the personal items!" She said as the door swung open. The Turks entered and closed the door behind them. "Once in a while I come here to snatch a few sellable goods."

"Wait… What!? That's just sick!" Dante said, truly scared of the many clandestine operations that happened backstage.

One thing Dante noticed right away was the fact that these apartments were significantly larger than his: a large set of couches and coffee table rested on the entrance. A large metal table near a window that took most of the wall held several dozen plants of all sizes and forms near the natural light that would eventually enter. Flowers and blooms of several colors sprouted in some plants and a vine climbed on a pole to the curtain rod.

Beyond a large-scale kitchen with diverse cooking equipment, Dante could see a clothes washer/drier.

"They really do take care of the SOLDIERs, don't they?" Dante said, thinking of the public laundry he shared with the entire floor.

"Nothing more valuable for the company," Cissnei said while taking pictures of the plants. She stared checking the pictures already stored in her camera, comparing them with the table in front of her. "This one's new; Dante, pass me a jar from the briefcase."

Dante opened his luggage and searched what she was asking for. From among plastic bags, empty bottles, aerosol cans, a black light lamp and a set of tweezers that came in all imaginable sizes, Dante pulled a small glass jar and handed it to Cissnei. With utmost care, she took a single leaf from the plant and placed it in the container.

"The science department will propagate this plant in vitro: a clone of a plant owned by Lieutenant Angeal himself, 500 Gil each," she said as she handed the jar back to Dante.

"500 Gil for a plant!?"

"Oh, this is not the strangest thing people will buy, you'll see." She walked to the kitchen and started opening the cabinets. She snapped a few pictures of some wine bottles that were lined in one. She closed the door and then exclaimed: "Bingo! Hand me a small bag."

Dante complied and then saw Cissnei stuff a fork in there.

"Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life?" she quoted while sealing the bag and handing it back to her confused assistant.

"Are we not above stealing silverware?"

" _Recently used_ silverware, Dante… We can auction that one nicely." She then tossed a clean fork from the drawer to the sink, exactly as the other one had been before as if to cover her own tracks. She walked to the bedroom and opened the door.

"Cissnei! You can't just enter a guy's room like that!"

"Please, I did so to wake you up not an hour ago." She entered without any sense of shame. Dante followed after a resigned sigh.

"Woa", the rookie said as he entered the room: a massive bed occupied the center of the room; several plush pillows lay on top of it.

"There's usually nothing interesting here, he does his laundry often and… Hello…" she said as she opened the drawer of the night stand. From inside she produced a square silver package with serrated edges on two sides.

"Extra-large, too!"

"Cissnei!"

"What!? Like you don't have a few next to your bed…" she placed the wrapper on the drawer and started photographing.

"Yes but…!" Dante felt his blood rushing to his face again "I mean…! Arg!"

"Aha! Who is it? The accounting girl? The redhead SOLDIER?" she said with a malicious grin.

"What! No! I…!" Dante turned around in embarrassment. Luckily, Cissnei decided not to press the issue further, although she did say in a more serious tone: "In the end, we'll eventually know. We handle very sensitive information; therefore, one of us will eventually be instructed to monitor any potential relationships. We learned that the hard way with Rude and Chelsea… Anyway! Nothing else to see here. Next room!" she said as she closed the drawer and left the room.

They left, careful of leaving everything just as they found it. After locking the department's door and walking to the next one, Cissnei began unlocking it.

The next apartment felt like entering an oven: everything, from the carpet to the various pieces of elegant furniture, was either a shade of red or scarlet. In addition, the thermostat was turned way up. An electric insect trap hanged from a coat hanger in the corner. Upon closer inspection, Dante noticed that the bookcases that covered every single wall of the room held a single book: editions upon editions of Loveless in different colors, languages, with gilded pages, handmade, new and old stuffed every single level of the shelves.

"Ugh! How can he sleep in this place?" Cissnei said while loosening her tie knot. She then began scouting the area. In the coffee table, she found a pair of books and a tea cup next to a small post card. The Turks began reading the pristine calligraphy on the back:

_Dear stalker Turk_

_I have taken the liberty of accidentally leaving a commented copy of Loveless for the Study Group fan club: many are completely misguided about the meaning of the fifth scene in the third act and I hope to enlighten them. Also, I've misplaced a copy for your uncultured partner to read, this one has illustrations to help him since the book is SO boring._ –the pen had pierced the paper on the last loop of the "g"-

_Also, I leave a recently used teacup for the Red Leather club, it even has a mark of my own mouth while using my favourite lip gloss. I hope these tokens will help keep my many fans satisfied for now._

_Ta-ta_

_G._

_P.s. please, make sure to get my best angles when taking photographs, I saw a most unflattering one in a tabloid the other day!_

"He knows we do this? And he is OK with it!?" Dante asked as he handed Cissnei a couple of plastic bags.

"It is a special arrangement we have: he loves the attention" She said, locking the book and the cup in their bags. "It appears this one is for you, my uncultured partner," she said with a smile while giving him a copy of Loveless that featured a cover with very childish illustrations.

"Well, our job here is done. Next!"

They left the apartment and walked to the door right in front of it.

"Care to open this one?" Cissnei said, and handled Dante the lock picks. As the rookie crouched to the doorknob, his knee hit the door and it swung inside: it had been left completely open.

"Come on, Zack! I've told you about this!" Cissnei said as she walked in.

Unlike the first two departments they visited, Zack's reminded Dante more of Veld's office: it was a downright mess. Magazines lay open over the couches; a bag of chips was open next to a soda can, a videogame console controller and a pile of game cases. Several empty bottles of different liquors were lined over a shelf.

"What is it about guys thinking that empty bottles make good decorations?" she asked.

"Ask me again in a couple of months when our missions have pushed me completely into alcoholism."

"Hey! Don't pin this on us! We simply offered. _You_ started slamming shots like a pro!" Cissnei remarked as she tiptoed around the various things on the floor. Dante had drunk alcohol before coming to Shin-Ra –generally under the bad influence of his childhood friend, Fran- but even he had to acknowledge that since he was promoted to field agent some weeks ago, he had gone out drinking with Erick and/or Reno more times than he was willing to admit.

Cissnei was watering a dying plant near the window.

"Honestly. This thing would be long dead if I didn't come here as often."

"You come here often?" Dante asked. He noticed she gulped noisily.

"Let's check the bedroom; there must be something we could use there. I doubt even the fans will want any of _that_ ," she said, pointing at the pile of dirty dishes.

The bedroom was even worse: clothes lay scattered around the floor without any distinction of whether they were clean or dirty; the mattress was not centered to the base; a wet towel was crumpled on a chair and the doors of the closet were open.

"Man… And I thought Reno's desk was messy" Dante said. He turned to Cissnei, who was rummaging through the open closet.

"I'm almost positive he has some form of ADHD."

"Isn't it dangerous to have someone like that running around with a sword? I mean, the guy didn't even unpack his gym bag from last night." Dante said, poking with the tip of his shoe the blue bag with the Shin-Ra logo.

"Gym bag? Are you sure?" Cissnei asked. She then crouched next to the bag and began going through its contents. "A large bag and tweezers, please."

"Sometimes I see him there training with Angeal or a blond cadet." Dante delivered the requested items.

From within the gym bag, she pulled a crew shirt holding it with the oversized tweezers. She then placed it inside one the plastic bag and sealed it.

"Ok, teacups and forks is one thing, but sweaty gym clothes!? Who buys this stuff?" Dante asked, sickened but curious. Cissnei thought for a moment and replied:

"Old guys, mostly. Once, some rich Kalm merchant requested a very specific type of worn underwear. It was the highest paid item… Ever."

"Specific?" Though Dante regretted asking immediately…

"A jockstrap, I had to plant a few in his drawer and come back every day until he wore one and then…"

"Agh! Ok, I get it!" Dante saved the bagged shirt in the suitcase, wondering how absent-minded the SOLDIER was to not notice alien jockstraps in his drawer. He then noticed that Cissnei had taken out the black light lamp and was scrutinizing the sheets of Zack's bed.

"Is there no end to this invasion of privacy!?" the rookie asked, frankly scandalized.

"You signed the Renouncement to Privacy Policy, right?"

"Yes! But is there something that it does not allow?"

Cissnei though for a moment, then answered: "the company cannot video record you when in the toilet."

"And…?"

"And that's it. Anything else you do can be archived for posterit-WHO IS THIS BITCH!?" she exclaimed as she held out a long brown hair. Dante examined it and said:

"So, the dude had a visit the other night. Big deal!"

"Don't you get it!? The Zack Fair fan club thrives on the idea that Zack is some sort of innocent and chaste country boy! If he is seen with some girl we will lose our mayor sale point!" Cissnei had walked to the door, combing her hair with her gloved fingers. "It was hard enough to keep him away from... Frankly any woman he sees and now this!?"

"Well, I hate to break it to out you…" Dante pointed at the open drawer of the night stand, where _several_ square-silver wrappers could be seen along with a tube of…

"Look! Honeybee Inn-Cherry flavored lube! You know, Reno swears by this thing…"

"Agh! Shiva's tits! What's next? A dirty mag under the-DON'T!" She pushed down the mattress as soon as Dante had begun lifting it up.

"Come on Cissnei! It can't be that bad! So, he has a little friend and they enjoy getting busy…" Dante was amused at seeing the normally serious Cissnei completely out of herself.

"If I place a camera on the private elevator or the stairs, I might get a glimpse of that hoe and…"

"Cissnei… Are you… Jealous?" he said with a mocking tone.

"Wha-? No! I'm just… concerned over one of our main sources of income."

"Sure, sure. Don't worry, I won't tell." Dante said with a grim. It was nice not being in the butt of the jokes for once.

"You've spent too much time with Reno." Cissnei closed the briefcase as she shouted "time to go!" and walked out of the room, unfazed by the amount of things she was stepping on.

When they arrived at Sephiroth's apartment they noticed something important: the door had a card reader installed next to the doorknob.

"Well, he certainly likes to put a challenge" Dante said while remembering the threats over invasion of privacy made months ago. "I doubt the lock-picks can open a card-where did you get that?" Cissnei was inserting a black card on the slot.

"Please! He asked someone in the security department to install it. All I had to do is grease a few palms and I got a masker key: no matter how many times he changes the reader code, I'll get in."

Dante opened the lock and they entered. Unlike Genesis' apartment, this one was completely white except for the furniture, which was black. Elegant leather couches were around an ebony table and candles rested on candelabra around the place.

"This is… Not what I expected." Dante said.

"Now, be careful, he likes to set…"

Her line was cut short when a short pneumatic sound could be heard: Dante had stepped on a wire and from a book in the wall, a small dart was launched. It stabbed the rookie's left shoulder.

"…traps."

"Agh! What the hell!?" The rookie exclaimed as he removed the pointy object.

"I told you to be careful!"

"I-I can't feel my arm!" Dante said as his hand loosened its grip on the briefcase's handle. He let go completely of it when Cissnei stabbed him a syringe near the entry point of the dart.

"Agh! What the…!?"

"You'll fall asleep without this antidote. It won't do much against the numbness, though." She said as she started opening kitchen doors.

When nothing in the main living space proved fruitful, they moved to the bedroom. The bed was almost artistically made: not a wrinkle in the sheets could be seen. The bathroom was equally spotless and the items in the closet (specially the several identical leather coats) were perfectly aligned.

"Cissnei, there's nothing here" Dante said after an hour of meticulously examining the room's carpet.

"Ugh! Not even a hair in the drain!" she said as she exited the bathroom. "He is getting very good at covering his tracks."

"Can you blame him?" Dante opened the drawer of the night stand, unaware of the moment he moved from being scandalized at the intrusions to actively searching for nail clippings or something. Inside the drawer there was a remote controller. Dante turned around, looking for a TV or a stereo: there was nothing it could possibly activate in the room. He pushed the on/off button and a clicking sound could be heard: a wall sung open next to the bed.

Dante eyed nervously at Cissnei, half-expecting poisonous gas or a Chimera set loose, but nothing happened. They pushed the false door and peeked inside the secret room.

"Sweet Minerva!" Cissnei exclaimed.

"What room of Ifrit's Hell is this!?"

Lacking a better descriptor: it was a sex dungeon. Several metal, chain and leather devices of which neither Turk wanted to know function or purpose lined the wall; a wooden cross with handcuffs stood in the center with a metallic table that held several whips and other devices of less-than-moral design by its side.

"I wondered where he had moved all that… He seems to have gotten a few new… Toys" Cissnei said from the door, not even she daring enter.

"Does he…?"

"Yes."

"Do people…?"

"Yes."

"The cadets of my field agent test…?"

"Probably, yes…"

"I've seen enough! Let's get out of here!"

They locked the door and placed the controller back in the drawer. As they left the room, they reset the tripwire trap and locked the door. They started walking to the elevator in silence. Cissnei forced the outer door open to expose the elevator shaft when they heard voices from the stairs on the other end of the hallway:

"…expected they would at least check weather forecasts."

"Really brings the "rain on a parade" to a whole new meaning, doesn't it Seph?"

"Yes, to a literal one, Zack." Multiple steps were coming up.

Dante panicked now that he was fully aware of what Sephiroth was _really_ capable of. Hell, he had warned them not to go digging near him unless they wanted to call on his murderous instincts and there they were, with a suitcase filled with stolen property. Cissnei grabbed Dante's tie and knotted it to the handle of the briefcase, then pushed him into the elevator shaft's ladder. Dante grabbed with all the strength of his good arm, but the heavy suitcase was crushing his neck, depriving him of air.

"Down! Down!" his partner said as she stepped in and forced the outer door to close. They slowly and quietly began climbing down. They stopped cold when they heard the voices right on the other side of the door:

"It is not working on this side either," Angeal's voice said.

"How strange… Genesis, would you mind calling maintenance so that they examine the elevator?"

"Come on Seph! No need to bother them! All we have to do is open the door, jump in the shaft and see what the problem is!" The tip of a broadsword pierced between the doors and starter pushing them apart. Dante and Cissnei held their breath.

"No!" Genesis' voice said. "I mean… I'll call maintenance. Checking elevators is beneath a SOLDIER!"

"Well, if you insist." The sword retreated to where it came and the floor doors closed.

"Not beneath, Genesis! No work is beneath anyone! But we must let those that are properly trained…" Angeal's soliloquy grew quieter as the Turks climbed slowly down the shaft down to the elevator roof. Cissnei jumped in as Dante loosened the knot of the tie, he then tossed the briefcase and finally, went down. They closed the emergency door of the roof and abandoned the crime scene.

"Cissnei… Don't even bring me into this again" Dante said, trying to lower his adrenaline rush.

"Don't be such a baby! We got good stuff!"

"Yeah, and we could have ended as Sephiroth's unwilling guests in the prdofcedfss-" Dante slurred the last word and fell face-first on the floor.

"Dante?"

Cissnei flipped him over and checked his pulse. She then read the expiration date on the syringe of the antidote.

"Hmm… Sephiroth must have changed the formula."

She looked at her unconscious partner and then around the empty hallway.

_Click click click_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew Cissnei was such as stalker?
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading and following this story. Leave your comments, reviews and suggestions ;)


	13. The Frogs!

For once, Dante hated his uniform: wearing an undershirt, a dress shirt, a tie and a black blazer in the middle of the Gongaga rainforest was torture. He looked at Erick, whose sleeveless top and baggy pants of an indeterminate blue-green-gray color looked significantly more comfortable. Granted, he was carrying his sword and armor, but heavy as they could be, they were not roasting him alive.

Dante was in his first solo mission: the military parade that had allowed Cissnei to take him "treasure hunting" was reprogrammed to the following week. The day before it, however, the Turks received notice that a cargo helicopter had been lost while flying the forests near Gongaga. Tseng ordered Cissnei to accompany the small SOLDIER unit sent to find the cargo, but she protested:

"No way! We'll have another day of finding something of Sephiroth's to sell! It has been months since we had anything in the store!"

"Chief, sir. I volunteer to go with the SOLDIER unit," Dante had said as soon as he had processed the "we" in Cissnei's statement. He was not risking being found by the Silver General and turned to minced meat or worse, a guest of the dirty little secret he had behind his bed.

"I like your proactivity, but I don't think you are ready for a solo mission," the chief said.

"Then take me with you to Junon! It is better than looking for eyelashes in the carpet!"

Tseng pondered his options: Reno and Rude were the pilots entrusted with the higher-ups, Freyra and he would be dealing with security and…

"Where is Elena?" He asked, noticing the blonde was absent from her desk.

"I dunno, she said she'd meet us here after lunch," Reno said, reclining in his chair.

"It's well past the agreed hour."

"She has been slacking lately… Since Dante came here, actually," Freyra said while cleaning her shotgun.

"That is no excuse; she was only relieved from coffee duty."

"We are all at fault… Changed her for the newest model," Rude reflected while removing a screw in the back of an alarm clock on his desk.

The blonde entered with a crossword puzzle magazine in her hands.

"A word for 'delayed beyond the expected time'" Tseng said.

"Behind," shotgun cocking.

"Dilated," tick-tock stopping.

"Pregnant," camera lens wiping.

"Not mine, yo! Sorry, force of habit…"

"None of those-ugh… Forget it! Elena, you are going to Gongaga with some SOLDIER operatives," the chief had said with a frustrated tone.

"A young lady alone in the wilderness with a bunch of sexually frustrated men…? I'm in!"

"Girl, you are nasty…" Freyra said.

"Said the one with the _pump-action_ shotgun…" she snapped back.

"Ooooohhh" Cissnei said over her camera maintenance routine.

"Enough! Dante, you will go to Gongaga, Elena, you will escort Palmer," the chief ordered.

"Dammit!" the blonde exclaimed.

"So, um… How strong is your pumping arm Freyra?" Reno asked while doing an up-down motion with his hand. She loaded a rubber slug and aimed.

The following day, while most of Shin-Ra's high ranking executives and most of the Turks (including a bruise-faced Reno) descended in Junon, a single transport chopper went on above the sea towards the Western continent.

Whatever was in the missing helicopter was classified and important enough to send five 3rd Class SOLDIERS and a Turk instead of scouting units. They would be combing a section of the rainforest near the flight path of the missing aircraft, close to the place where communications had been lost. After it had been located and secured, Dante had to activate a beacon to have Shin-Ra send a recovery unit.

Initially the SOLDIERs protested that a Turk was coming with them (as animosities between the departments were high as usual), but then they were told they had no choice. Luckily, Erick was among the troopers sent there and it was quickly agreed that they should be on a team to avoid unnecessary confrontations.

After landing in the edge of the forest and gearing up, the teams spread into the forest. As soon as they were out of sight of the other two teams, Erick took off his helmet and left it to rest on the hilt of the sword on his back.

"Hot isn't it?" he mused.

"A bit, the suit only makes it worse," Dante said, loosening the knot of the tie a bit. He regretted not being as carefree as Reno, who did not closed the blazer of his jacket and wore his shirt open halfway to his chest with nothing underneath.

"Well, better hurry before I have to carry your dehydrated ass back to the chopper," Erick said with a grin while opening a map. "We have to search the area near the river, about a kilometer and a half to the East."

They started walking along the tall trees, listening to the many sounds the lush forest had to offer. After an hour of walking in that hot and humid hell, Dante had taken off his blazer and stuck it on the straps of his backpack, had rolled his sleeves to his elbow and loosened his tie to a point where he might as well have removed it. The small supplies backpack he was carrying made the dress shirt stick uncomfortably with sweat to his back.

"Good Gaia, you said one Kilometer!"

"And a half! We should be there soon." The SOLDIER answered with a smile. "For all the time you spend at the gym and at the training room with the Rude I expected you to endure more than a walk in the forest."

"That is one thing, walking in this heat is another. And the ugh! –he slapped the exposed forearm with a hand- mosquitoes are yet another!"

"I thought you were from Costa del Sol. Are there no mosquitoes or heat there?"

"Not as many. The heat is similar, but not as humid. Where are you from anyways? You seem awfully comfortable in here."

"Corel. It is a desert so I'm used to the heat. That made the 10 kilometer training hikes in the Midgar wasteland quite easy."

"Lucky you, I've never been much of a runner myself. Fainted halfway during my SOLDIER examination in Junon," Dante confessed.

"You wanted to enter SOLDIER?"

Dante did not answer immediately. His multiple outings with Erick had slowly eroded the jealousy that he felt the first few times they had met. He feared that talking about it would stir long-forgotten emotions.

"So, um. Why did you enter to work with the Turks?"

"Crazy ex-chief sent the wrong papers."

Whether Erick believed it or not, he did not question. It seemed a very Shin-Ra thing to happen anyway.

"Why did you?"

"Why did I what?"

"Enter SOLDIER?"

"Well, it is hard not to notice all the publicity. Also, I think I wanted something more. You know, my father is a coal miner like everybody else in Corel. I did not want that for me. It's not that I'm ashamed or anything, I just wanted to, you know… Have some power." He said with an apologetic smile.

"Power?"

"Like, command people! I really don't know why. There is something alluring about it. General Sephiroth has the army obey his every command. I want something like that for myself."

"You know that power corrupts, do you?" Dante asked with one eyebrow high.

"It's not like I'll go burning down villages," he said with a chuckle. "I guess that for someone who would have not expected much from life is normal," the SOLDIER reflected.

They walked in silence a few more minutes.

"I wanted to get away," Dante confessed. His partner looked at him.

"I was tired of living everyday knowing that my life was solved for me. It's hard to explain... To know that I would just eventually start to manage my family's Inn without really be interested in it," Dante said. He had struggled to understand exactly _why_ he had enlisted since the first time he traveled to Junon.

"Woa! Your family runs an Inn? And you escaped from that?"

"It's not like that. I just wanted to know that I was doing something for myself by myself and…"

Behind them, they could hear hurried steps. A member of one of the other teams was running towards them carrying something in his hand. Behind him, six or seven large yellow frogs were chasing him.

"Run! Run! Don't let those touch you!"

"Ah shit! Touch-Me frogs!" Erick said. He grabbed Dante's arms and pulled him into a sprint in the opposite direction. When the other SOLDIER caught up with them Dante noticed the thing he was carrying was another frog: his partner.

"Couldn't you just slice them? You have a big-ass sword, you know!" Erick said.

"We tried, but more and more appeared and we were turned and un-turned into frogs and it was really annoying!"

"Croak!" said the amphibian in his hands, pointing forward with its webbed foot. They were heading towards a deep a gully, a fast-moving river could be heard below.

"We'll have to fight them!" Dante said. He prepared a Stop spell in his glove and turned around to aim at the oncoming frogs. When he released the spell, only the four closest amphibians were affected. It was not like Stop usually did: instead of freezing the frogs on the spot, it held them levitating a foot from the ground, eyes unfocused, mouth open and body limp as if hanged from an invisible wire. The frogs and men looked confused for a few seconds at the display and then, without warning, the levitating frogs emitted a pained screech and their heads gave a 180 degree turn, snapping their necks with a sickening _crack_.

The Turk, SOLDIERS and even the frogs (friend and foe alike) gasped in surprise at the gruesome show. The last two Touch-Me croaked in despair, turned around and jumped to safety into the bushes of the jungle.

"Dude! What the hell was that!?" Erick said!

"A fucking Death spell! That's what it was!"

"Croak!"

"What! No! It is a Time materia! It was supposed to be a Stop spell!" The Turk exclaimed. He removed his glove and examined it: it was _not_ his regular glove. "Dammit Reno! You were shuffling the materia again!"

"That was dangerous! What if you had confused a healing spell!" the SOLDIER said, the frog in his hands croaked accusingly.

But now Dante was rummaging through his backpack. Before leaving, the Turks had assembled on the office for a last-minute check of their gear. After extracting the beacon he placed on top of everything else in the helicopter, he examined the contents of his bag and confirmed his worse fears: instead of the water bottle, ethers, maiden's kiss, remedy and potion he had packed from the supplies office, there was a swimsuit magazine, a thermos filled with something that smelled suspiciously of coffee with a hint of brandy, a pair of sunglasses and a pipe bomb. He was carrying Rude's bag.

"Shit! This is not my bag! And this is not my regular materia glove."

"Are you serious? Didn't you check before leaving!?" Erick asked.

"I did but…"

"You always check before leaving!" the other SOLDIER claimed, his amphibian partner had its hands on the hips and was shaking its head disapprovingly. "Man! What kind of training do they give to the Turks?"

"This kind!" Dante said, extracting the bomb and giving the SOLDIER an annoyed glare.

"Ok, let's not fight now. Let's finish this before the frogs return." Erick said. From the bag strapped to his leg, he produced a dropper bottle. He placed a few drops of a pink liquid in the mouth of the frogged companion. And then some more. And then more. Nothing happened. "What the…? This thing expired last year!" He exclaimed after examining the Maiden's Kiss bottle.

"No way! Captain Kunsel said they had gotten rid of all that!"

"I thought you _always_ checked before leaving," Dante said with a smug smile.

"Croaaaaaak!" the other SOLDIER cried while covering its eyes with its hands.

"It's not so bad Leclerc," his partner said wile petting him lightly. "We have extra maiden's kiss in the helicopter. Hopefully those will not be expired too." He then removed his helmet and placed his slimy companion inside. "I'll carry you, don't worry."

"Hey, look up there." Dante said.

On the other side of the gully a large tree had recently fractured branch. Next to it another tree had several broken branches. Some were still hanging from splinters to the main trunk.

"It is recent," Erick said. "Do you reckon the helicopter crashed around here?"

"Could be. We should cross to the other side of the gully." The other SOLDIER said.

Erick extended his map and examined it. "There should be a bridge that way."

"Bridge? It is about 5 meters wide! We can easily jump across this!"

"I know we can Cuvier, but he can't" Erick pointed at Dante.

"Ugh, great! No wait!" A malicious grin formed on his face: "we can toss him!"

A few minutes of discussion later, they prepared. Cuvier and Erick knit their hands together and flexed their knees. Dante walked about a dozen meters back and centered himself to the SOLDIERS.

"Are you sure you can launch me all the way across?"

"Sure, sure!" Erick said.

By all means it was a bad idea, but otherwise they would need to walk another kilometer to the bridge and back. If Dante had his Gravity materia he could have made himself lighter or if they had functioning maiden's kiss he would have allowed himself be frogged so that he could cross in Erick's arms like Leclerc would.

Dante took a deep breath and sprinted to his companions. He stepped on the gloved hands of the SOLDIERS and they boosted him with their mako-enhanced strength. Dante smashed hard against the edge on the other side of the gully. Gasping for air, he climbed to safety.

"See! I told you it would work!" Cuvier yelled from the other side. Dante gave him a thumb up as he stood up.

The SOLDIERS then threw Dante's backpack and the helmet with the frogged companion. They walked back and jumped across the gully with ease, swords and all.

They resumed their walk, this time looking at the broken branches of the trees. Eventually, from atop a boulder they could see a clearing in the canopy. A few more minutes of walking later they found the missing helicopter: the blades were missing or twisted and the fuselage was scratched and pushed in.

"Well, this is it!" Erick said with a big smile on his face.

Dante walked to the front, looking for any sign of the pilot. Finally, he found him huddled on the seat, a couple of empty MRE boxes were crumpled on the floor of the aircraft. Dante tapped the glass with his knuckles. With a jerk, the pilot turned and aimed a handgun him.

"Who are you?! This is property of the Shin-Ra Electric Company!" the man yelled. The man had dark bags under his eyes.

"Calm down, I'm with the Department of Administrative Research."

"Who?"

"The Turks, dammit!" Dante said with a vein pulsing on his forehead. "We were sent to look for you."

Erick and Cuvier came into view and the pilot lowered his weapon, recognizing the SOLDIER uniform. He then noticed the frog in the helmet and all semblance of tranquility vanished.

"Get that fucking thing away!" He said while pulling his knees to his chin on the seat. "I tried activating the emergency beacon outside, but the frogs kept coming! They turned me again and again!" He let out a whimper.

"What kind of training do they give you in SOLDIER?" Dante paraphrased with an eyebrow high.

"Don't be a jerk to him, he is obviously in shock and a pilot, not a SOLDIER" Erick said.

"A Jerk!? He is the one that is crying like a little b… Uh-oh", Dante interrupted when he noticed the familiar feeling of anger and douchebag-ness that accompanied the drug-induced berserk status. He took a deep breath and collected himself: Rude's bag did not have any Remedies in it.

"Where is the rescue beacon?" Erick asked the pilot.

"Lost it while escaping the frogs," the pilot acknowledged.

"We'll have to use ours," Cuvier said as he laid down the helmet with his frogged friend.

Dante kneeled and began reaching the bag. He pulled the black box and placed it some meters away from the helicopter. After extending the antenna, he pushed a button: a soft beeping noise started while a red light turned on and off rhythmically. About three minutes after it was activated, a display on the panel read "ETA 2 hours".

"Two hours!?" Cuvier said.

"Our transport chopper went back to the Costa del Sol naval base. They should have sent one large enough to accommodate the cargo from there." Erick explained. "What is it anyways?" he asked while looking at Dante.

"I dunno. Tseng didn't fill me in on that."

They began the wait game around the chopper, as the pilot would not open the door to at least let them sit on the inside: "the frogs will come!" he had exclaimed, a thousand-yard stare on his eyes. Using their hand radio, Erick contacted the other two SOLDIERs and gave them their coordinates to rendezvous. An hour and a half of mosquitoes and increasing heat went by.

"They should be here by now," Dante said.

"They said two hours," Cuvier answered without raising his gaze from Rude's swimsuit magazine.

"Not them, the other team."

"Oh… Yeah, you are probably right," the SOLDIER said absentmindedly while rotating the magazine to gaze at the centerfold.

Erick attempted to contact them through the radio again, but to no avail: only static came. "Strange, I bet those two dropped the radio."

"Kunsel will whoop their asses. Last mission they lost an Ice materia," Cuvier was carefully ripping a page from the magazine.

Then they heard them: dozens of yellow frogs were hopping in their direction, moving the large leaves of the bushes and other ground-level plants in their wake.

"Oh shit!" Erick said.

"Wha-FUCK!" Cuvier exclaimed, folding the magazine page in his pocket.

"Croak!"

"Kill them! Kill them all!" the pilot exclaimed from the security of the chopper.

The SOLDIERs readied their swords while Dante raised his borrowed glove. It contained a Lighting materia, but given the number of frogs, using it with All would probably dilute the spell to a point where it would be harmless. The amphibians surrounded them and a single frog hopped to the front, between them and its slimy companions. To everyone's surprise it stood on its hind legs and stared at the SOLDIERs and Turk accusingly. More surprising was the little crown fashioned out of yellow leaves on its head.

"Croak croak! Croak! Croak croak croak!" the frog said while pointing at them.

Erick's eyes met Dante's for a split second. This was not in any training manual. The frog went on:

"Croak croak croak! Croak croak-croak croak!" the king Touch-Me then pointed to somewhere along the lines of its companions: a frog with a sheer black veil over its eyes was kneeled crying over the body of another amphibian. Behind them, one wearing a white and purple outfit with long pink sleeves was performing some sort of ritual dance while holding a gold and blue staff.

"…the fuck?" Cuvier said.

"Is this for real?" Dante asked.

"I think you may have widowed a few… Yeah…" Erick said, as confused as the other two.

"Croak croak croak!" the amphibian pointed at a blood-stained rock next to another frog wearing an executioner mask and holding an axe. "CROAK!" The king finished, pointing its webbed finger at Dante. That needed no explanation. Dante raised one eyebrow at the slimy monarch.

"That's it… I'll begin snapping necks at the count of three… One…!" Dante raised his gloved hand.

"Croak croak croak!" the Touch-me king laughed. All the others soon joined in.

From behind the lines of frogs, two more were brought in: those were tied to a makeshift cross made of sticks.

"Croak!" Leclerc exclaimed from the helmet, its tiny hands over his cheeks.

"Wait… Are those two…!?" Erick began.

"You have to be fucking kidding me!" Cuvier said.

"…two…!" Dante continued.

"Wait! You can't kill them! They'll execute those two!"

"Sorry guys, we have a "do not negotiate with terrorists" policy," Dante said nonchalantly.

"Come on! Those two are our comrades!" Erick said.

"Fine!" Dante lowered his arm. "What do you propose? That I surrender to be executed by fucking _frogs_ in some Gaia-forsaken, mosquito-infested, forestry sauna!?"

"Croak!" Leclerc said.

"You shut up!" Dante said, and kicked the helmet along with the frogged SOLDIER over the wreckage.

"Hey!" Cuvier ran around to retrieve his partner.

"What's gotten into you?" Erik said with a surprised look.

"Berserk! That's what! Because guess what: I'm stuck with homicidal frogs in a malaria-ridden jungle! Well, guess again: I don't fucking care anymore!" Dante reached for the bag and pulled the pipe bomb.

"Woa! Put that down!"

Cuvier returned with his helmet, saw the events unfolding, turned around with a "nope" and walked around the fallen helicopter.

"We are all dead anyways! They are -Dante pointed at the tied frogs- I am! We all are!" The Turk twisted a red dial on the pipe bomb from "safe" through "boom", "BOOM" and "IFRIT" to "flashy".

"Stop! You'll kill them with that!" Erick said, pointing his sword at Dante. He was shaking slightly. "I don't want to hurt you!"

"Who says they are your friends and not regular frogs anyway?" the pilot said from inside the aircraft.

"What the fuck is going on in here!?" a voice came from the bushes. Two other SOLDIERS were looking at them with shock on their faces. One was holding an upside-down map.

"You are not the frogs?" Erick said at his missing comrades.

"Well… Now that we got that out of the way…" Dante pushed the dial and tossed the explosive to the center of the frog formation.

* * *

Above the canopy, a Shin-Ra transport helicopter was nearing beaconed pick-up site. Suddenly, the tree tops around a clearing were pushed by an invisible force and then an explosion erupted. If the pilot hadn't known better, he would have said it was a fireworks display. It was beautiful.

* * *

Several hours later, the military helicopter landed on the pad at Shin-Ra HQ. After the rotors had stopped, the SOLDIER crew (now all in human form) pushed a large, wheeled metal crate out of the aircraft's back door, a black-suited figure behind them. When the pilot opened the door, several empty bottles of Remedies, Maiden's Kiss and Potions fell from the cabin.

Tseng and Kunsel were waiting inside a hangar: they had been _warned_ about the imminent arrival of their men. The captain and the Turk chief approached the cargo and scanned the sealed container. Then they saw the squad.

"What the…" Kunsel said.

Ripped pants, broken pauldrons, teared shirts and soot-covered faces stood in attention. Tseng maintained his neutral face, even when he saw his newest agent: his right arm in an improvised sling, the sleeve of his shirt up to the shoulder missing; burn marks were visible on his tie and pants and a large bruise stained his cheek. Pieces of something that looked like yellow-skinned gore sprinkled the men here and there.

"Mission complete, sir." Dante informed.

Kunsel was counting the men in front of him in a low voice. "Well, no one's dead or missing… Save a couple of teeth," he said musingly.

"What happened?" Tseng asked.

"Frogs happened, sir."

Tseng raised an eyebrow almost imperceptibly. "Well, the cargo and the men are safely back." He then turned to Kunsel, who was busy opening the crate with a crowbar.

A side panel fell like a drawbridge and exposed the contents of the box.

"What the…?" Cuvier said.

"Are those…!?" Erick exclaimed.

"You have to be kidding me!" Dante yelled.

Hundreds of plush dolls were piled inside. Dolls that depicted the 1st class SOLDIERs.

"Sir… Tell me they are at least stuffed with dangerous and illegal drugs…" Dante said in a flat tone.

"No. Just regular plush dolls. Shin-Ra goes to great lengths to make sure they arrive in secret. The fan clubs can be a bit too… _Enthusiastic_."

"Is it true they raided a transport ship while sailing from Junon?" Erick asked.

"I cannot confirm nor deny that." Tseng turned to his subordinate, whose face showed and unfathomable disbelief. "I want your report by 12 tomorrow. Captain," the Chief said with a slight nod as he walked away.

"Dismissed," Kunsel said. After a quick "sir!" from the SOLDIERs, they broke formation and walked away.

Erick approached the dumbstruck Turk and placed a hand over his good shoulder.

"My first mission without any assistance from my partners was recovering dolls… Fucking-stuffed-dolls…" Dante pushed a Sephiroth doll away with his foot, dishearten.

"If it helps, my first mission was escorting an elderly mako technician… He wanted some fun so I took him to the Honeybee Inn. He had a heart attack in the act, big smile on his face and hot girl on his lap."

Dante chuckled.

"Can you imagine the face of the widow when I told her that his husband died while banging a hooker? Man. I was scrubbing toilets for a month. Deliver coffee to this day, too."

Dante started laughing.

"The thing is, not all missions are as exciting. I mean, Zack complains he is sometimes sent to some cave to look for some monster's silverware!" Erick said with a broad smile "But hey! At least I got to do your first mission with you," he patted Dante's back.

"Yeah, you are right. Thanks."

"Don't sweat it."

They stood in silence observing the plush dolls. The level of detail and craftsmanship was astounding.

"Erick?"

"Mmm?"

"Can we go to the medical floor? I think my shoulder is dislocated…"

"You got it. After that I'm buying you a drink.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of character development here... I guess... Let me know what you think!
> 
> Not sure if I'll post next week as usual... I've been writing and re-writting the next chapter a lot to accomodate for events happening further down the line...  
> Thank you for following this story!
> 
> Leave your reviews, opinions and comments, please :)


	14. Ante

"No."

It was not uncommon for Tseng to say that. I was not uncommon for his subordinates to protest, either.

"But sir! We could obtain better Summon materia for the department!" Freyra said.

"Come on! We can ante the Titan one we never use!" Reno said, holding the red orb in his fingers.

"And you can end up losing it, like you did with the Alexander materia in your attempt to get Hades," Tseng said while taking the materia from Reno and saving it in his pocket.

"We had an Alexander materia?" Dante asked over the pile of papers on his desk.

"They lost it to SOLDIER seconds," Elena replied over the blue binder with the Shin-Ra logo she was reading along with Cissnei.

"The point is…!" Freyra interrupted, "Cissnei learned from a reliable source that the Science department has a Phoenix materia and that they are planning on entering the contest too."

"We could get that one chief! All we have to is steal the information of what monsters they'll set loose on the competition, find the best counters and wham! One free materia!"

"Now you added illicit activities to the subject. That does not help your cause, Reno," Tseng said.

"Of all the things we do on a day-to-day basis _that's_ what bothers you!?" Freyra claimed.

"What we do is besides what you two want. When not involved in corporate espionage, I want my department behaving with an exemplary degree of morality."

"Ooh, this one is good," Elena said to Cissnei as they turned the binder side-up. The cover folded downward, revealing a copy of the newest number of "Shin-Ra's Cadets Exposed monthly" inside the binder.

"Took me a long time to convince him into posing for the…" Cissnei's voice lowered to nothing as she noticed their cover was blown (figuratively and literally) and that their chief was observing them both reprovingly. "Ehem! I agree with Freyra, we could use a Phoenix materia!" She said as she slapped the binder close.

"My decision is final. I will not sign up the department for the debaucheries of Rufus." With that said Tseng walked into his office.

No word was spoken again on the subject.

For thirty-six minutes.

When Tseng left for a board meeting, his subordinates began plotting a mutiny:

"OK, this is the plan: Elena and Reno will get the signature for the inscription form. Dante and Cissnei will obtain the information from the Science Department's servers, I will search for the Summon materia in Veld's office and Rude will plan something to keep Tseng out of the picture during the event tomorrow," Freyra said cunningly.

"Question: how are we getting the signature if Tseng explicitly said he is _not_ signing?" Elena asked.

"We have a perfectly capable secondary chief in the office, you know?" Freyra said, pointing at Veld's office through the wall behind Rude.

Dante wondered what Freyra's standards were for "perfectly capable".

"I have the form here," Freyra said, waving a sheet of paper in front of her partners, "all we need is Veld signing as chief and we'll be in!" she handed the page to Reno.

"Won't people ask why Tseng is not the one signing?" Dante asked.

"Few people actually know what is going on with Veld, yo. Many still believe he is chief. We use his signature to request vacations and to file false travel reimbursements, yo."

"Won't we get in trouble for disobeying a direct order of our chief?" Dante asked, although he was already expecting a half-baked argument to counter him.

"We are not disobeying, yo. He said he is _not signing us in_. He did not forbade us from entering by other means."

"That does not…"

"Dante, are you in or out?" Cissnei asked while pulling her lock-picks, a couple of keycards and memory sticks for her drawers and putting them in a small canvas bag

"Do I really have a choice in that?"

"No," all other Turks said.

"I'm tired of not having any decent materia to use when in a pinch," Freyra said.

"Are youkidding me!? The other day we were almost ripped to shreds in the reactor because _Lady sexually suggestive weapon_ forgot she was carrying an Enemy Skill materia!"

"And I told you: the _sexually suggestive shotgun_ normally suffices! Besides, if anyone has an unhealthy relationship with his weapon is Reno."

They all turned to the EMR on Reno's desk.

"He is just compensating," Rude said.

"You know damn well I have no need for compensation, yo!"

"They why is it you always decline to participate in Cissnei's photo shoots?" Elena asked.

"Er… Guys… The mission?" Freyra said.

"Frankly I'm curious, too. I know many people that would pay nicely to see you in your birthday suit," Cissnei said.

"You gotta keep the mystery, yo!"

"People! We are going off track!" Freyra interjected, snapping her fingers.

"Perhaps he is hiding that the carpet does not match the drapes…" Dante said.

"Maybe it bends too far right…" Elena wondered.

"I'm warning you!" Freyra yelled, reaching her hand discretely to her desk.

"I'll show you _right_ , yo!" Reno said while standing up and unbuckling his belt.

Freyra's shotgun blasted a hole through one of the ceiling tiles, covering her in white dust and chunks of plaster.

"Focus, for Minerva's sake! I feel like I'm speaking with Lieutenant Fair!"

Hurried steps from Veld's office preceded his door bursting open and the former Turk chief entering the main office brandishing a handgun that looked suspicious like Dante's training weapon, orange tip and all.

"AVALANCHE is upon us! Everyone at your positions!"

"Wait! Chief, this is not…!" Elena started.

Veld grabbed Freyra's desk and overturned it halfway across the office as a makeshift barricade.

"Come on! I had just organized those papers!" The brunette exclaimed while Veld pulled her behind the desk.

"Take cover rookie! As soon as the terrorist dogs enter, use the Ultima materia in your glove and send them to the Lifestream, I'll cover you!" The chief yelled while aiming his toy gun at the door.

"Seriously!? You have an Ultima materia!?" Cissnei said, exasperated.

"Ultima!? Cool! Can I use that one?" Dante asked.

"So you can blast a hole in the wall, yo? No can do partner."

"Good Gaia! To what have the Turks come to?" Veld said, noticing for the first time that he was being ignored by his subordinates.

"I wonder chief… I wonder…" Dante said while casting a spell at Veld: his eyes focused on nothing and acquired a faint green tint.

"What the…" Reno said.

"Manipulate materia... I, er, found it this morning and was itching to use it," the rookie explained. "Now chief: sign the paper Reno has."

Veld stood up, picked one of Freyra's pens from the floor and signed the inscription form without even reading it.

"Tell him to reveal where the Summon materia is!" Freira told Dante while waving her hand in front of the vacant stare of the former chief.

"Hmmm… Will you let me use the Ultima materia?" he said with a grin.

"You treacherous little…"

"YOU NEVER USE IT!" Cissnei yelled.

"Ugh! Fine! But only this once!" the shotgun-wielding Turk exclaimed.

"Chief, relinquish the Summon materia," Dante ordered. The materia emitted a faint glow and Veld rolled up his sleeve.

"Woa…!" Elena exclaimed when the former Turk exposed the previously unseen prosthetic arm: in two slots near the wrist were the red orbs. Veld extracted it and handed the materia to Elena, who in return, placed him under a Sleep spell.

"Why didn't we just do that on Tseng?" Dante asked as he and Reno carried the sleeping ex-Turk back to his office.

"He ties his hair with a Ribbon," Cissnei stated as she dropped undisclosed medications in the water pitcher on the desk.

"Why on Gaia does Tseng hide the materia in the arm anyway? What if he uses it, yo?"

"The slots are probably decorative. To be honest I'm surprised, too. I was expecting the materia to be somewhere else in the office." Freyra said as they left Veld's messy office.

"So you were gonna trash Veld's office looking for it?" Elena asked.

"Pfft, like anyone would notice. Now, I'll think of a distraction for the day of the event with Rude. You go find out what the Science department wants to use."

* * *

Despite having been for months in Shin-Ra, that night was the first time Dante participated in anything remotely resembling the espionage he was promised by Tseng back at Junon.

"So, why are we wearing these?" Dante asked, scratching through the itchy tactical balaclava he has wearing.

"So that they don't identify us, duh!" Reno's muffled voice came through his own skull-printed face mask.

Cissnei, Reno, Elena and Dante were climbing up the poorly maintained ladders of the elevator shafts.

"I _know_ it is to avoid identification... But shouldn't the mask cover your hair too?" the rookie exclaimed.

"He has a point you know," Cissnei said, even though the ends of her own hair were perfectly visible through of her mask.

Once they climbed to the correct floor, Cissnei directed Reno to remove the screws of a ventilation shaft screen opposite to the elevator's floor door.

After infiltrating, they began crawling through the maze of metallic corridors. Dante was not completely surprised to see that Cissnei had several adhesive notes with arrows pointing to specific locations pasted all over the place.

Finally, they arrived at an opening that led directly above the servers room of the Science Department.

"You know, considering what they are for, these shafts are quite comfortable to be in," Elena noted.

"Yeah... It's not hard picturing intruders crawling here, spying on private meetings, yo"

"Like _that_ could happen..." Cissnei snorted. "Now, you two will lower Elena and me with the rope and help us up once we are finished."

Slowly, Dante and Reno lowered their partners into the room.

"Wow, Elena... You need more field missions, yo! You are getting kinda heavy."

"Seriously Reno? Now?" Elena said as she released they karabiner of the rope from her harness and joined Cissnei, who was typing in a computer. It took Cissnei several memory stick insertions, keycards sliding through a reader, lots of typing, a couple of slaps and insults to the monitor and then some more typing, but she finally decoded the password ("GastISanIDI0t!") that granted full access.

Just when Cissnei started searching for the files, the door on the room made a beeping noise and slid open.

"So, the Turks came, just as I planned," professor Hojo said with his arms behind his back.

"How did he knew it was us?" Elena whispered to Cissnei.

"You know you are the only ones that use zip-up blazers, right?" the professor said in the condescending tone he used to address anyone without a PhD. Cissnei and Elena looked at each other's outfits.

"Now. I have brought you here because I want a little favor from you," Hojo said with a devious smile.

"Ewww!" Elena said.

"Not that you dimwit! I want you helping my department during the materia event. You get rid of the competition and help us win the Summon materia, and I won't report this intrusion to your superior."

"He is bluffing Cissnei! He's got nothin' on us, yo!" the redhead said from the ventilation shaft.

"Reno! Shut up!" The brunette yelled upwards.

Hojo smiled, pulled a tape recorder from his lab coat, rewinded it and pressed the play button.

_"He is bluffing Cissnei! He's got nothin' on us, yo!"_

_"Reno! Shut up!"_

"I'd recognize that annoying speech impediment of yours anywhere Mr. Reno," he said looking up at the open shaft. "Now, have we a deal? Or should I go with chief Tseng and inform him of your latest shenanigans?"

"Well," Elena started, "I guess we have no option but to-SLEEP!" she yelled as she casted at the professor. The spell faded as it made contact with him, the ribbon that tied his hair emitting a faint glow.

"Aren't those thing supposed to be like, super rare? How come everyone has one of those?" Dante asked from the shaft.

"I'm well prepared for all of your tricks you fools!"

"Are you really? Reno!"

At Cissnei's signal, the redhead dropped from the shaft with his sparking EMR in hand.

"You wouldn't dare to-EEGLOLFFOMFGROTFEHFFF"

A smoking Hojo dropped unconscious face-first to the floor.

"Reno! What the hell! I meant for you to take the tape recorder, not assault him!" Cissnei said.

"Well, I'm no mind reader, yo!" Reno said while doing what Cissnei meant for him to do.

Dante's head popped from the opening of the shaft. "Well, shit... Now what?" he asked.

* * *

"You did WHAT!?" Freyra yelled after her partners explained who was in the body bag lying on the floor of her room.

"And what about the other one?" Rude asked at the second body bag near the door.

"Some janitor saw us dragging the bag, yo."

"He freaked out and started running for the alarm... I had to do something!" Cissnei said.

"And then what's in the box!?" Freyra asked in a high-pitched tone, pointing at the blood-stained cardboard box on her coffee table.

"The janitor's head: Cissnei threw her shuriken at him and, well..." Dante said, holding a mop and a bucket filled with bloody water.

"For fuck's sake! You had one job! ONE FUCKING JOB!" Freyra yelled with her hands over her face.

"And we did it! We got the information! There was some collateral damage, that's all," Elena said reassuringly, a fancy new ribbon on her hair.

"Some collateral!? You killed an innocent man!"

"Well excuuuuse us! It's not like Phoenix Down can cure a beheading, yo!"

"Gyaaah! Fine! Fine! Rude, Reno: you make sure Hojo is fine until tomorrow when the event ends and I'll manage the corpse with these idiots!"

"He is not "a corpse"! This man has a name! He is Argus Fil-"

"When you are dead you are just a corpse and that's that Elena!"

"If you name them it is harder," Rude said as he placed Hojo's body bag over his shoulder and left the room with Reno.

"Harder?" the blonde asked.

"To do what you must!" Freyra said, offering her a butcher's axe.

"Why do you have that in your apartment?" Cissnei asked.

"Why did you behead him?"

"Fair point."

"Woa! We can't just chop Argus like he is some piece of meat!" Elena protested.

"I'll do it," Dante said.

All the other Turks looked at him suspiciously.

"What? It's not like it's the first time I've had to dispose of a body."

"Wait... What?" Cissnei asked.

"There were some bad shrimps in the buffet and a client had this _horrible_ food poisoning and died on the room. We could not have the bad publicity so we, well, _disposed_ of the problem."

"What in Ifrit's hell...?" Freyra said.

"Now," Dante said, dragging the body bag to Freyra's bathroom, "we'll need some plastic bags."

* * *

The following morning everyone arrived early to prepare their gear for the event. It appeared Hojo had some electricity-weak monsters ready to use, so they equipped several Lighting materia in their gloves. Then, Tseng entered hurriedly.

"Hojo is missing!" He announced. He missed Elena's covering-her-mouth-in-false-shock-gesture.

"I have a lead, chief," Rude said.

"That's... Surprisingly efficient..." Tseng eyed him suspiciously.

"I'll lead you there."

"I think it is better if you take someone else from the team to..."

"You know Hojo, he wouldn't want to be rescued by anyone other than the head of the Turks," Rude went on, positioning himself behind Tseng.

"That makes sense, but still..." Rude placed a handkerchief over Tseng's nose and mouth.

"Rude! What are you...!?" Cissnei yelled.

"Shh, shh. It will all be over soon." Rude said while his chief struggled for a while and then, slowly fell asleep on his subordinate's arms.

The Turks watched Rude place their chief on the office's floor with upmost care.

"THAT was your idea of a distraction for the day!?" Freyra asked.

"Yes, why?" Rude said nonchalantly.

"I thought you would be leading him to a wild goose chase looking for Hojo!"

Rude cleared his throat, looking away from the brunette: his way of acknowledging she was probably right.

"And now we assaulted our chief. You know, this is slowly getting out of hand, yo."

"Slowly? this has been a freefall since we killed that janitor last night..." Cissnei said.

"We?" the other Turks said.

"It was _your_ shuriken..." Elena said.

"I only chopped him," Dante said.

"People! Focus! We have to go down to the training facility, complete the contest and be back before the chief awakens." Freyra said.

"Don't forget about releasing Hojo, too," Cissnei interjected.

"Where is he anyway?" Dante asked Reno.

"He'll be all right. He is probably having the time of his life right now, yo."

"Never mind that! Let's go! Rude, you make sure Tseng remains asleep." With that said, Freyra pushed the rest of the team out of the crime-scene-turned-office.

They went down to the training facility, were upon arrival they found most of the other departments were there already. On top of a makeshift stage, was Rufus Shin-Ra. Dante was surprised to see that the man was not much older than he was. The vice-president directed himself at the small audience collected in the basement.

"Hello everyone! Once more we are gathered here for some fun and friendly competition for everyone," he said with a big grin that seemed to reveal only half of the facts.

"Now, I've decided to shake things up a bit from last year: instead of a race out of a purpose-built maze, we are having a battle royal event. I'm calling it 'the Famine Entertainments'!"

"Isn't that...?" Dante started.

"Shh... He reads _lots_ of young adult literature," Cissnei cut him.

Now, everyone brought your Summon materia?" Rufus asked. Several heads nodded in agreement. "Good! Now everyone place your department's ante in the bag," he said, producing a black velvet bag from his pocket.

A scientist walked to the front and placed the Phoenix materia in the bag. SOLDIER 2nd and 3rds placed one each; a commander of the infantrymen placed another and Freyra placed the Turk's Titan materia.

"Very well, I'll explain the rules to-"

"Wait!"

Everyone turned at the sudden intrusion. Zack Fair walked out of the elevator with a materia in hand.

"I'll enter in behalf of SOLDIER 1sts!" the black haired man said with a wide smile.

"I was under the impression that general Sephiroth explicitly said he did not wish to participate in this 'childish nonsense'" Rufus said.

"Wise men change their minds all the time!" Zack said, placing the materia in the bag.

"Well, who am I to question him? Now, these are the rules: first, only two people per department. I will choose at random!" He leaned forward on the stage. "Let's see, the kid with the spiky blond hair and the guy with the glasses next to him will participate for the infantrymen." A generalized groan of despair emanated from the men there.

"This is not good Reno! We were supposed to enter!" Freyra said under her breath.

Rufus went on choosing pairs of people from the other departments.

"Calm down, what are the chances he does not pick at least one of us, yo?"

"Hmmm... The blonde and the black-haired kid will participate for the Turks!"

"Shit!" Freyra exclaimed.

"Calm down! They can always take the Ultima materia they wanted to use, yo!" Reno said, trying to sound reassuring.

"Rule number two: no materia nor standard-issue weapons!"

"FUCK!" Freyra yelled, turning a few faces at her.

"Rule number three: you'll compete using these!" Rufus pulled a paintball gun from behind the stage.

"See, that is not so bad, Dante is a decent shooter," Cissnei said, patting Freyra's back lightly.

"She isn't!" Freyra said while pointing at Elena, long-suppressed memories of her disastrous gun-training catapulted to the front of the brunette's mind.

"Ahhh, right... That guy never walked again, did he?" Reno wondered.

"Now, the battle will last until all participants have been hit. Last man standing wins three materia for their department, second wins two and third place, one. We begin in five minutes!"

"Uh, Vice-president, sir. What about the Science Department? The monsters we brought cannot use guns," a lab coat-clad woman said, raising her hand timidly.

"As I said, two of you will enter. Forget the monsters!"

The scientists there looked around in despair at the SOLDIERs, infantrymen and rumored assassins they would have to face.

Freyra grabbed Elena and Dante's ties and pulled them towards her until they were almost kissing. "Now listen to me you two! If we don't return with at least the same number of materia we left with this morning you'll be joining the janitor in the trash can!"

"Which trash can?" Elena asked

"He is in like, six or seven..." Cissnei said.

"I'm serious!"

"Relax, yo. All you have to do is gang on Fair and the rest should be easy!"

"I know someone who'd like to _gag_ on Fair-oomph...!" Dante cut himself when a red-faced Cissnei elbowed his ribs sharply.

"Besides, the SOLDIERs were given guns too! They can't tell their hands from their asses unless they have a sword in one, yo!"

"I know of a SOLDIER that likes to have a _sword_ in the wrong-oomph!" Cissnei cut herself when a red-faced Dante elbowed her ribs sharply.

"Everyone ready? Put on you protective glasses and go to your doors! The rest can watch through the CCTV system" Rufus said cheerfully.

Elena and Dante left their materia gloves with their teammates and walked to their designated door, guns in hand. When they arrived, Reno's PHS started ringing.

"Jello... Aha... What? What do you mean, yo? Ahh... I see... OK... Put it in ice until they can re-attach it." Reno hanged. Then he noticed that his partners were looking at him curiously.

"What? Ahh... Tseng's awake and he's coming to 'give us a lesson on torture endurance', yo."

A bell rang in the distance, signaling the start of the battle.

"We'll deal with him, you two focus on getting good materia!" Freyra said.

"Roger tha-!"

"Ouch!" Cissnei exclaimed when Elena accidentally shot her in the arm.

"Sorry! The trigger is really flimsy," the blonde said. As she pointed her gun upwards, the cap on the ammunition hold opened, spilling Elena's paint balls all over the floor.

The door closed behind the rookies.

"Well, we are screwed..." Freyra said.

* * *

Fifty floors up, Sephiroth entered his office. When he sat at his desk he narrowed his eyes at one of the drawers: it was open a few millimeters.

" _The stalker Turk? No. That one is too careful to make this mistake_ ," he thought.

He opened his drawer and saw his red materia there. His prized Knights of the Round, Choco/Mog and all the several variations of Bahamut were there... Except for one. A vein popped visibly near Sephiroth's eye.

"ZAAAAACK!" he yelled as he dashed out of his office, Masamune in hand.

In the elevator, he ran into Tseng.

"Care to join the _Punishing the Insubordinates Express_?" the black-haired man asked.

"With pleasure..."

They went down discussing several painful and frankly, original methods to bring forth pain

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made it in time!
> 
> Also, Rufus makes his first appearance! I have finally decided on what he will be doing in this fic, so for the moment, ignore the fact that he is carelessly spending company money.
> 
> Also, I'm writing in the dark here! Some feedback or suggestions would be nice :)
> 
> Thanks for following and reading


	15. The famine entertainments

Hojo awoke in an unknown room. He was on top of a large and circular bed and the walls were covered in tacky multicolored tiles that made him think of his laboratory: blood was easier to clean from tiles than from concrete or, Gaia forbid, carpets.

"Ah, I see you are awake professor," a sweet voice said behind him.

Hojo turned to meet a pretty girl in a honey bee costume.

"As you requested, the _7-on-1 especial 'against my will' final fantasy_ will begin shortly."

"What?"

"Oops, my bad," she said while reading a clipboard that hanged next to the door. "We are pretending you don't know why you are here and have to ignore any pleads to stop o let you go. As requested by your assistants."

Hojo remembered the redhead Turk with the speech impediment falling in front of him.

"Wait! This is absurd! Where am I?"

"Already in your part! Very well." She opened the door slightly and called: "you can come in guys!"

Seven muscular men wearing nothing but wrestling singlets -some of which left nothing to the imagination- walked in.

"All right professor. Where do you want it?" a man in a leather singlet said as he walked forward.

* * *

After the door closed behind them, Dante and Elena began gathering and picking up the fugitive paint balls. After they were returned to the ammunition hold and the lid was properly secured, the Turks looked around.

"Hey! This is the room where Genesis handed your ass back to you!" Elena exclaimed.

Dante looked around: indeed, the several gashes of the walls and burn marks on the ceiling were unmistakable.

"Don't they ever clean this place?" Dante asked, noticing that even the pieces of blood-stained wooden crate were he landed at the end of his field agent test were still there.

"Well... Janitors have been scarce lately..."

They looked at each other for a second and broke out in laughter.

They began walking around, looking for the other contestants. I wasn't long before they started listening to hushed voices from one of the many hallways of the maze-like training facility:

"I'm not supposed to help you! I'm supposed to take _you_ out!"

"You don't understand! Hojo is crazy! If we fail…!"

Dante and Elena peeked out of the corner of the hallway and saw that one the infantrymen had the two members of the science team cornered and disarmed.

"Please! You have to help us!" a scientist woman said, pleading with her eyes.

"I cannot risk this!" The infantryman raised his paintball gun at the scientist.

"Wait! Please!" the male scientist exclaimed, raising his hands to cover his face

The paint bullet hit him squarely in the chest. At the same time, the Turks standing on the other side of the hallway began sending a wave of painful paint balls that showered the cadet's back. From above, a voice sounded in a speaker:

" _One member of the Shin-Ra infantrymen and one member of the Science Department have been disqualified."_

"One member?" Elena asked aloud.

In the skirmish, the female scientist had escaped through a hallway, presumably without taking any hits.

"We have to find her before she is taken out by someone else," Dante said.

Elena ducked to grab the cadet's paint gun when Rufus' voice came out of the speakers again:

" _You can only use the gun provided to you at the start, the player that uses another's gun will be disqualified."_

"Ah…" Elena said, noticing that the stain on the scientist was a bright yellow, while the ones caused by them were a neon blue. "Well, I better start aiming properly, then…" she said with a smile. Dante noticed that out of six shots, four had hit the wall behind the infantryman.

"Good Gaia… You are a terrible shooter Elena!" Dante said as they started running after the fugitive scientist.

"There is a reason I use materia! I can't stand the noise those things make. And Freyra's shotgun! Ugh!"

After they turned a corner, they found a lab coat on the floor next to a pair of low heeled shoes. This woman may have been unprepared, but was certainly making it hard for them.

* * *

In a large control room, all the people not selected to participate were looking at the monitors that displayed the remaining contestants. The infantrymen were already plotting some really nasty stuff for their disqualified comrade.

" _Good thing I don't share showers with those,"_ Reno thought, listening to the deviousness of the infantrymen's ideas.

He was standing next to Freyra, who was biting the knuckle of her index finger nervously while looking at the screen that followed her rookie partners. The stress she was subjected to at that time made her realize that there were some things not even a candy bar could make better.

To make things worse, Tseng entered the room, followed by none other than General Sephiroth. There was something in their eyes. Something she had seen often in her missions: murderous intentions.

"Ah, chief! What a coincidence! I though…"

"Don't make it worse, Reno. I'm still deliberating on how to punish you."

"No Tseng, punishment is only effective when they have acknowledged the error of their ways," Sephiroth said.

"But chief! The kid and 'Lena are doing just fine! They took out one of the infantrymen already!" Reno said, pointing out at the replay on one screen.

"Taking down one of those is _hardly_ any problem at all! I'd be concerned if they hadn't!"

"More incompetent soldiers to punish," Sephiroth reflected, seeing in the replay how the man forgot to check behind his back.

"Ah, General Sephiroth, how nice of you to join us!" Rufus said with a wide smile.

"Vice-President. I have to inform you that Lieutenant Fair entered this contest without my authorization and even more, did do using stolen materia as ante."

"Did he now?" Rufus said in a tone that expressed neither surprise nor interest.

"Yes. I request this is stopped immediately so that I can remove him and punish him for this insubordination accordingly."

"Cissnei? You OK? Your nose is bleeding, yo." Reno said.

_Zack. Naked. Tied up. Subjected to torment. Begging._ Cissnei had suffered a mini-stroke.

"But it would be unfair for the others, General." Rufus went on: "besides, what chances do all of the other contestants have against a SOLDIER 1st?"

Right at that moment, one of the screens showed the 2nd and 3rds surrounding the black-haired Lieutenant. He was covered in paint almost instantly. Sephiroth let a resigned sight.

* * *

Finding the scientist was proving to be more complicated than they though. Not only had they lost her in the maze of corridors and rooms, but the constant vigilance the Turks had to keep to avoid meeting the same fate as their victim made the whole ordeal quite stressful. At least the SOLDIER first had been taken out (or so had the speakers announced). Dante had no intention of finding himself in another combat with one anytime soon, simulated or not. At the moment, he was far more scared of Freyra should they fail.

They turned around a corner and entered a large area filled with crates. The sound of paint balls zooming past their ears started. The Turks took cover behind a pile a boxes and started scanning the room: on corners opposite to theirs were the other two SOLDIER groups.

"We have to move away!" Dante said. "It will be easier than taking on both teams at the same…"

A sharp _crack_ later, the room suddenly went dark: while holding her gun improperly, Elena had shot the lights out.

"Ah shit Elena! I can't see!"

As Dante's eyes adjusted to the darkness he heard hurried steps closing in from one of the corners.

"Don't worry! They can't aim in the dark either, all we have to do is craw out of here and-SHIT!"

A SOLDIER came into view. His silhouette was barely visible, but the mako eyes were telling on him. An eerie glow could be seen in the still darkness. The Turks rolled out of their position with an "eek" as paint bullets cracked against the floor.

"We got you now Turks!"

More paint bullets smashed around the crates as Dante tripped around the dark room. He ran face-first into a wall and eventually, into Elena again.

"Kyaaa! Let go of me!" She yelled in despair as she punched her partner in the chest.

"Calm down! It's-ouch- me!"

"Ahh… Good to _see_ you…"

Paint bullets cracking from behind. A new pair of glowing eyes emerging in front of them. In a split-second decision, Dante pulled Elena down.

Paint bullets zoomed again, grazing the side of his head. One of the SOLDIERs exclaimed: "Idiot! You shot me!"

As Dante and Elena crawled out to a better-lit room, they heard the other SOLDIER 2nd complain: "wha-! Who shot me in the back!? Have you no SOLDIER honor!?"

"Not a SOLDIER!" a female voice said: the fugitive scientist ran in front of the Turks and out of the room. It appeared honor had no place among Hojo's scientists. The Turks rose from the floor to start chasing when hurried steps could be heard from the other side of their cover.

"There she goes!" one of the SOLDIER 3rds came into view, also chasing the scientist.

Not wasting another moment, Elena lift her gun and sent a bunch of paint bullets. While most of them missed its mark, two caught the SOLDIER by surprise, hitting him on the arm.

Dante rushed to cover his partner as she left behind the scientist: while Elena dashed out of the room, the rookie started firing back. Once his back was in the door frame, Dante chased after Elena and the scientist.

" _The remaining contestants are one member each of the Science Department and SOLDIER 3_ _rd_ _class and two members for the Turks. Five minutes left"_ Rufus' voice came from the speakers.

" _Wait, what do you mean he lost the Bahamut materia?"_ a second voice came from the speakers.

" _As I said General Sephiroth, the ante was final. I have no jurisdiction over how to run this contest."_

" _What do you mean you have no jurisdiction? YOU organized it!"_

" _Let's not get ahead of ourselves General. It is important that due process is followed…"_ Tseng's unmistakably analytic voice interjected.

" _You treacherous son of a-!"_

" _Shh, General! The microphone is still on-"_

A click later, the voices shut down. It seemed now that Tseng was interested in winning materia, to the point of going against Sephiroth.

Dante could hear the echo of his partner's steps up ahead. Just when he thought he was going to catch up to her, he found himself in another crate-filled room without any exits.

"Shit! Where are you Elena?"

Behind him, he could hear more steps closing in. When Dante turned around to face the incoming person, he was greeted with a swift kick that sent his gun flying to the side of the room. Dante barely had time to push the oncoming barrel of the gun away as it fired and after a special maneuver taught to him by Freyra, the rookie disarmed his attacker. After the second gun fell to the opposite side of the room, Dante saw his rival.

"Erick?"

* * *

Zack Fair was lying on the ground. Red stains splattered his uniform. That battle had not gone as he expected it. Sephiroth was going to be so pissed he would probably take away his videogame console again. That sucked: last time's punishment had barely been lifted. Cautious steps closed in on the SOLDIER.

"Z-zack…?"

The SOLDIER turned his head slightly and met a pair of blue eyes. Cloud was there, unharmed. The blond looked at his friend with a pained expression.

"For the… Both of us…"

"Both… Of us?"

"That's right… You… Will…"

_Splat_.

A stain appeared right on the bridge of Cloud's nose. He dropped to his knees yelling, his hands rubbing furiously at his paint-filled eyes.

"Awh! What the hell!?"

The scientist woman ran past the scene.

"We were having a mome-UMGPH!" Zack was interrupted when a blonde Turk stepped over his stomach, chasing after the scientist.

"Get back here you nerd!" she yelled as they promptly left the room.

"Uhg, rude! Well Spikey… I guess we lost…" Zack said as he left any pretenses of harm and sat up.

"Um, Zack…" Cloud started as soon as he wiped his reddened eyes and saw the camera in the room. "Do you mind if I shower at your place the following, let's say… Two weeks or so?"

* * *

Erick tackled Dante and pinned him to the ground.

"Ugh… Safeword?"

"That won't help you now Turk," The SOLDIER said with a grin. "By the way… Did I left my Manipulate materia back at your place?"

Dante locked his legs over Erick's hips and rolled over so that he was on top.

"Yeah… Came in real handy."

The rookie was pushed forward with the SOLDIER's knees. As he hit the floor, a series of twist, locks and counter-locks followed. Whenever any of them reached for the paint gun, they would feel their legs pulled in the opposite direction or see the gun kicked further away.

Their panting was broken when Rufus announced: _"Three minutes remaining."_ In the background, they could hear Sephiroth's angry bickering.

One last mako-enhanced kick later and Dante found himself on the floor. Erick rolled to the side, grabbed his gun and aimed.

"I'll get the scientist and your poor-excuse-of-a-shooter-partner first… We'll make out later."

"Don't you mean _make even_?"

"That, too…" the SOLDIER said with a wink and then ran to the hallway. Dante grabbed his own gun and started chasing.

* * *

"P-please

"Sorry… Nothing personal," Elena answered as she pulled the trigger at point blank.

A paint stain appeared on the scientist's forehead. She started crying.

"What-? Come on! Don't make me feel bad about my job!"

"You don't understand! Hojo-He-He…!"

Elena turned when she heard the steps running towards her. She rolled to the floor and behind the scientist. Taking her from behind as a human shield, she aimed at the hallway. The SOLDIER 3rd appeared and aimed.

"Give up girl!"

"Wait! I'm disqualified already!" The scientist yelled.

"So? I don't see why I should waste a perfect hostage," Elena said with a grin.

"Elena!"

Dante appeared from the side and tackled the hostile from behind, however, instead of knocking Erick down, he ended up hanging piggy-back on the SOLDIER.

* * *

"For the last time Chief Tseng! I refuse to relinquish the Bahamut materia!" Sephiroth had a vein popping above his brow. Angeal and Genesis had arrived mere moments ago and were behind the general, restraining him.

"No need to get violent General, I firmly believe that all the set rules must be obeyed," Tseng said without removing his eyes from the screen, were his agents were in a 2 vs 1 against a SOLDIER 3rd. He could practically feel the materia in his hands.

"You are only saying that because your department is close to winning!"

"You can bet I am!" Tseng said.

"Sephiroth, calm down!"

"No Angeal! This is _your_ fault!"

"What? How is this my fault!?"

"If you had taught your protégé to respect other's property he…"

"To be fair, the materia is technically everyone's to…"

"SHUT UP GENESIS!"

Now, Masamune was slashing around in the enclosed room. People started running around in panic. Freyra and Reno were yelling at the screen like angry soccer fans. In the confusion, Genesis set something ablaze. Cissnei started taking photos. The monsters the science department brought set themselves loose and started attacking people. The door opened and Hojo entered, walking funny and wearing nothing but his underwear, his body covered in marks that looked a lot like human bites: he demanded Reno's head on a spike.

Rufus was on a corner, joyfully eating popcorn while delighting at the sight of the chaos he set loose grow bigger and bigger.

On the screen, Tseng and the Turks saw the SOLDIER overpower the agent. They rolled about on the floor and then, Dante held the other man from behind, making him face Elena. The video feed had no sound, but clearly, the rookie was holding him so that the blonde could shoot him. Elena tossed her human shield aside and aimed. As she fired, the SOLDIER quickly turned and made Dante's back face the oncoming projectile.

Leaving Dante aside, the SOLDIER rolled to grab a paint gun and took a shot at Elena. She was hit on the shoulder, were a neon blue stain appeared.

"No! Come on!" Freyra yelled, throwing her arms up in the air.

"Wait!" Rufus said. He lowered his popcorn bag on the keyboard and approached the monitor.

He grabbed the microphone and announced: _"The SOLDIER operative has used other player's gun. He is disqualified."_

In the wrestle, the SOLDIER had grabbed and shot Dante's gun. He turned dumbstruck to face the rookie Turk, who was laughing on the floor.

* * *

The training facility doors opened and the contestants started leaving. Zack walked out first, with the blond infantryman hiding from his comrades behind.

"Hey Seph! See, something funny happened…"

"On your knees. I want you to beg for forgiveness," Sephiroth said in a deep voice. The general grabbed a fistful of Zack's hair and led him away.

"Ow, ow, ow… Seph! Wait!"

Meanwhile, the infantrymen had already collected their peers and were dragging them away to Gaia-knew where. Tseng said something about settlements waiting to happen.

Rufus started delivering prizes: he randomly pulled from the velvet bag one materia for the science department, two for SOLDIER 3rds and three for the Turks

Hojo, now wearing a closed-up lab coat (that made him look like an exhibitionist about to show himself) approached his two scientists: "so, Yin and…? What was your name again?" he asked the male scientist.

"Yang, sir. We won one materia." He said timidly, holding the red orb. Hojo took it and examined it.

"Titan… A downgrade from the Phoenix materia I gave you. I think a few months in the Nibelheim laboratory will make you appreciate when someone places their trust in you. I have in mind an experiment that will require your assistance. Maybe I can make one useful scientist out of you two _._ " Hojo pocketed the materia, turned and walked away. None could see the wicked grin that formed on his face.

Tseng observed their loot: Phoenix, Typhon and (to Dante's delight) Bahamut.

"Well. It seems I may have been wrong about this," the chief acknowledged, as he passed around the red orbs.

"See, everything went smoothly," Reno said with a smile.

"You will all be punished for conspiracy, assault on a superior, twice, and for stealing department property," Tseng said, not wanting that his subordinates to feel off the hook yet.

"Yeah, about that… I respectfully request that you consider the good job that Dante and I did in there," Elena said, raising her hand.

"I don't think so."

"We were only accessory to this! She planned it all!" Elena yelled, pointing at Freyra.

"As if! You helped us dispose of the body!"

"What body!?" Tseng asked in an alarmed tone.

The Turks fell silent and looked at each other, exchanging silent "now what?" with their eyes. From behind Tseng, a gloved hand appeared and once again, covered his lower face with a piece of cloth. The chief fell asleep on the arm of his bald subordinate.

"Rude, you really have to stop making this worse for us, yo."

"What happened to your ear?" Freyra asked, noticing that Rude's free hand was pressing over another -bloody- cloth on the side of his head.

"The chief was a bit cranky when he woke up so he, well…" Rude pulled a small plastic container from his pocket: it was filled with ice and his severed ear.

"Holy shit! Fuck this! I don't want to be near him when he wakes up!" Dante said. He had had enough body parts for a day.

"Nah. Don't worry, yo. Dante and I will take the chief to the same place we left Hojo, he will be very relaxed once he returns," Reno said as he slid his arms under Tseng's armpits and gestured for Dante to grab the chief's legs. "'Lena, Freyra, take Rude to the medical wing so that they stitch him back together and… Where's Cissnei?"

* * *

Back in the control room, surrounded by screens and manipulating a joystick, Cissnei was operating and seeing the live feed of a miniature, cockroach-shaped robot: it was the latest development in espionage created by Weapons Development. The device was crawling through a carpeted hallway. Carefully, she directed the machine under one of the doors, through a white and black department and to a certain room behind a hidden door. After positioning the minute camera at an angle that allowed full view of the assets, she hit the record button and grabbed the remains of Rufu's popcorn. There was no way she was missing this.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew!
> 
> When I originally planned this chapter I figured it would be easier to write. In fact, it went through four drafts before I finished it (specially the Erick-Dante confrontation. I will expand on that later).
> 
> Thanks to all the readers of this story.
> 
> Leave your comments to let me know what you think so far.
> 
> See you later!


	16. Latex catapult

Dante awoke as he had done lately: halfway below his companion's arm and leg.

He shuffled a bit, trying to dislodge himself out in order to get to the bathroom. After he washed his face and brushed his teeth he walked to his closet and started dressing silently. Tseng had an assignment that required everyone early at the office. Early for everyone save Dante and Elena that is, as they were the only ones that bothered to get in time either way.

"Still sneaking out, I see. Not even a good morning kiss?"

Dante chuckled and turned to Erick, who was looking at him, propped on the pillow with his hands behind his head.

"Morning. Didn't want to wake you up. Sorry, but I have to go to the office."

"Mission?"

"I don't think so. Even then, I wouldn't be able to tell you," Dante said as he zipped his jacket up. "With some luck I'll be free for lunch. Want to meet?"

"I… Think I'll pass."

That was always Erick's answer.

"All right then," Dante said, turning his face away. "I'll see you later."

"It's not that I don't want to… It's just…"

"It's OK, really," Dante said as he stood up and walked to the door. He knew that the concerns were not completely unfounded: The Shin-Ra operation manual was not entirely clear about relationships between co-workers. While it was not expressly forbidden, it cautioned about conflicts of interest and specially, about relationships between people of wildly different ranks.

While the SOLDIER firsts and other executives could probably get away with it, neither Dante nor Erick were completely sure of the rank they had towards each other and specially, if they would be considered 'wildly different'. The Turks had no clear positioning in the command ladder, sometimes serving as pilots and/or bodyguards for high-ranking members and sometimes doing other's dirty work. Asking discretely among their peers, all they managed to find out was what they already knew: that both SOLDIER and The Turks were under Heidegger, then Sephiroth and Tseng, respectively. Erick was sure he was under the Firsts, Seconds and any Third that had been for longer than he in the program.

The problem was that there did not appear to be a clear command ladder in the Turks below Tseng: while Dante was obviously the lowest-ranking member (even below Elena), the other four members didn't seem to follow any particular order. Going by (apparent) age, Rude should be second in command, but Reno and Freyra also seemed to do as they pleased. Cissnei did not appear to be much older than Elena, but seemed to have the same standing as the other three members -and if one considered all she did and the information she had access to, even more. Any pretense of verticality was further lost when Veld was added to the mix.

Even then, Dante had never seen any Turk pull rank on another, save for Tseng or when they were requesting coffee (and that was always meant for him). He had seen Tseng order SOLDIER seconds and even 1st class Fair, so the Turks would have the same rank as SOLDIER seconds, at least. The rookie wondered if he was splitting threads at that point. The thing was, Erick was particularly discreet about their secret relationship. While Dante wouldn't want to be seen all lovey-dovey in the hallways either, he felt that Erick did not want to be seen at all with him lately.

"You look worried" John the barista said as he prepared that morning's coffee orders.

"Nah, I'm fine," the Turk said dismissively.

"Suit yourself. By the way, will you be participating in this year's lesson?"

"Lesson? What lesson?"

"You know. _The lesson_ for SOLDIERs."

Dante looked puzzled at the barista.

"Oh… I guess you are either not participating, or you have not been told yet," he said with a grin. The poorly suppressed chuckles that followed made the leaf he was making with the foam look more like ancient Wutaian script.

"OK. Spit it out. To what embarrassing experience will I be subjected now?" Dante asked as he picked up the order.

"And spoil the fun? Nah, I'd rather see by myself," John said with a sly smile that reminded Dante of Rufus Shin-Ra's. After eyeing the barista suspiciously one more time, the Turk walked to the office. In retrospect, John seemed to be awfully well informed of anything that happened around in the building. More than once, he had heard him ask SOLDIERs about their missions, even the classified ones.

The signs that the day was about to turn for the worse were already there, and it didn't take long before misfortune started to manifest: after he met with Reno and Tseng in the hallway, just before reaching the office door, a muffled explosion that shook the entire floor could be heard inside.

"What the hell, yo!?"

As if to answer Reno's question, the door -along with its frame- fell like a drawbridge to the carpeted floor, leaving behind a trail of spiraling smoke and dust. In the floor of the office, Rude shuffled among pieces of desks, papers and a multitude of other debris.

"How many times have I told you not to build explosives here?" Tseng said at his subordinate while performing his already familiar gesture of rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Ahw man! Not again!" Elena said as she arrived and looked around. "And today of all days!"

"No, no, no, no!" Freyra said while entering. After pushing Elena aside, she dashed to her desk, or what remained of it. To Dante's surprise, she tossed her dirty shotgun from the debris and continued looking for something below the rubble. Finally, she pulled a block of large paper flip charts: they were crumpled, partly burnt and dirty beyond words. "You idiot! All the material is gone! I was up until late preparing everything!"

"This has gone too far this time Rude, we have to prepare everything again in less than an hour," Tseng said as he flipped through the damaged pages in Freyra's hands.

"What can we do in less than an hour chief? Those posters took hours to write in a clear language SOLDIERs can understand!" Freyra said. She seemed to be really mourning the loss of those pages. Cissnei entered the room, carrying a collapsible whiteboard.

"Woa! What happened here?" she asked as she stepped though the remains of… "is that my camera!?" She dropped the whiteboard and ducked to the floor to see what remained of it.

"Was it always made of so many pieces?" Elena asked as the redhead picked up a cracked lens.

"No, it wasn't..." Cissnei picked up Reno's EMR from the floor and lunged herself towards Rude. Had it not been for Dante and Reno, she would have been successful in her attack. "Bastard! I was yet to download the latest set from the memory card!" she yelled while trying to set herself free. "Let me go! I'm gonna kill him!" Tseng took a step forward and removed the weapon from Cissnei's hands.

"Govern yourself, woman!" Tseng said with in an unusually raised voice. "I'll do it myself." He then turned and shocked his subordinate in the side of the neck. Rude fell unconscious to the floor without uttering a single word.

"Ugh! I wanted to do that," Freyra muttered, still holding the burned pages to her chest.

"So, before something else happens," Dante started as he let go of Cissnei, "what am I missing here?"

"We have to give a talk to SOLDIER members in less than an hour and our friendly neighborhood explosive-manufacturer…" Freyra kicked her unconscious partner in the ribs "…just blew away all the presentation posters!". Elena started flipping through the remains of a notebook, "we lost all the notes!". Reno was checking the pieces of a box that had been on a corner of the office: "the didactic models are busted, yo."

"All right people, we have been in worse situations and we always pull through," Tseng started inspirationally, "Cissnei, remember when the other orphans were bullying you at the orphanage?"

"Yes, Rude beat the living hell out of them, burned the place down and then you took me in to become a Turk," she answered with a longing smile on her face.

"Elena, how about that time your sister shot your father after that fight over why she bought whole milk?"

"We teamed up to cover everything up and made it look like a failed mugging," she said while covering her mouth and tearing up a bit.

"Elena has a sister?" Dante asked.

"And Reno, remember the time that woman overdosed in your department?"

"Not my proudest fap chief. But y'all helped me get rid of her."

"What!?" Dante went ignored.

"Exactly! We always pull through! Because we are Turks! And what do they say about the Turks?"

"They always complete their mission!" they others said in unison while Dante watched with a puzzled face.

"Very well. Freyra and Elena will prepare some new material. Reno and Dante, go find something you can use as didactic material."

"Didactic material for what?"

"The Sex Ed talk for SOLDIERs, yo," the redhead said as he pulled his partner out of the room.

"The WHAT!?"

"You know, the parts of the wee-wee, bees and flowers, the importance of protection and consent. The whole number, yo."

"I know what Sex Ed is, Reno! The question is _why_ are _we_ giving it? Wouldn't it be more appropriate that some doctor explains that?"

"Nah, the Medical and Science Departments have refused to do it for years now. They claim to have enough with the mako injections. Besides, it's a piece of cake, yo! There's hardly something they don't already know!"

* * *

 Forty minutes, the Turks had re-assembled in a large conference room. John was already there, setting a large coffee maker and cookies in a table while humming merrily. Elena and Freyra had made some drawings in a new block of flip charts while Cissnei showed with a spare camera. Rude had been left to clean the office under the watchful eyes of Tseng, who in turn, had to stay to calm Veld after he saw the remains of the office and mistook it for an AVALANCHE attack.

"All right, we have some new didactic material, yo!"

"What of all this crap constitutes 'didactic material' Reno?" Cissnei asked as she peeked in the box Dante was carrying. The rookie had decided not to ask that question himself: logic seemed to have gone overboard long ago.

"Oh sweet Gaia! Reno, no! Where did you even found _that_!?" Freyra said after taking a look too.

"Will you trust me? It seems you all expect the worst from me, yo!"

"Reno, I'm carrying a moldy sandwich, a cantaloupe and something I dare not say aloud in a box. We at _least_ deserve a heads up," Dante said. Elena took her turn at looking at the box.

"Woa… I didn't knew they could be _that_ big…"

"Size is not important! The important thing is that we have an anatomically correct support to show how to properly put on a condom, yo!"

"What!? That thing is at least 7 inches past 'anatomically correct', Reno!" Freyra said.

"If you have a better idea I'm all ears, yo!"

"Er, guys…" Dante said as he pointed at the door: SOLDIERs and the latest selection of candidates started pouring into the conference room.

"Ah shit!" Elena said.

"Damn! I forgot the notes! Don't start without me!" The brunette said as she dashed out of the room.

After the SOLDIERs served themselves some coffee and took their seats, things took yet again a turn for the worse: the 1st class SOLDIERs entered the room and took a front seat. The Turks eyed themselves nervously as if asking "now what?". When they noticed Sephiroth started drumming his gloved fingers impatiently, Reno cleared his throat and moved to the front of the stage while Elena and Dante moved the whiteboard with the improvised flip charts to the center.

"All right men, we are gathered here today to give you the yearly bees-and-flowers talk, yo" Reno started. "As you know, after your mako injections you will be hornier than when you were 13 and it is important to remind you a few important things, yo."

Around that moment Freyra returned with the notes. From the other side of the room, Dante saw her notice the unmistakable silver hair in the audience and then Reno on the stage, saying something about touching oneself: she went deadly pale in a second. Freyra attempted to dash to the stage but was quickly intercepted by Cissnei. The women argued for a while in hushed voices but finally, the redhead convinced her partner to stay put.

"Now. First things first: your penis!" Reno flipped the front page of the charts and found himself in front of a drawing that may have been lifted from a medical book. Considering how little it took Freyra and Elena to draw it, it was surprisingly good. "This, er, part is the, er, length and this is the, uhm, girth…" he made a sideways motion with his EMR, now doubling as a pointer. Cissnei had a face that was between utter shock and laughter; for once, not a single _click_ had been heard.

The lesson moved on with advice on proper hygiene and then the topic of STD's. Turns out, the amount of mako SOLDIERs were exposed to made them practically immune to most diseases.

"However! Those that you can get can be really nasty, yo! Just look at this sandwich," Reno pulled the moldy item from the box and went on: "do you want your dick to look like this?" Surprisingly, some people shook their heads. It was up to anyone to guess if it was out of respect or pity for the poorly conceived lesson. The final nail in their coffin appeared in the form of Tseng, who entered the room as Reno announced:

"This is why it is important to learn how to put on a condom, yo! Dante, come help me!"

The rookie walked reluctantly to redhead. Just as Reno pulled the 'anatomical support' from the box: a collective gasp crossed the room; Sephiroth coughed ever so slightly, looking down at the cup he was holding, Genesis spit some of the coffee he was drinking and Angeal covered Zack's eyes. Meanwhile, Tseng attempted to run to the stage: The Turk was tackled _en route_ and held on the floor by Freyra and Cissnei. They were too deep in already.

"Girls will want to take you to the back of the barn as soon as you meet them –chicks dig guys in uniform–, but before you can pump, dump and run, you need to remember to put on a rubber, yo!" By now, Genesis was obviously suppressing a fit of laughter. Reno pulled a string of silver packages from the back pocket of his pants. He separated one and them and tore it open with his mouth. He quickly caught on the mistake, because he added: "as cool as it looks, you must _never_ open it with your mouth: all it takes is a single fugitive slimy SOLDIER and you'll be paying child support for years on end, yo!" Reno went on demonstrating how to properly place the condom while Dante stood in the stage holding the grossly oversized support. It took him all his will not to make eye contact with Erick, John or anyone, for that matter: he could feel his ears burning in a fashion not seen since he arrived at Shin-Ra.

It turned out, the support was too big for the condom, and after struggling for a few seconds trying to unroll it, Reno decided to pull the borders down with all his strength. The latex item stretched superbly and then it snapped with an echoing rubbery sound. The support catapulted the condom in the opposite direction: it flew from the stage and landed precisely in Sephiroth's coffee cup, splashing the face of the General with the now polluted drink.

Freyra would later swear she heard a vein pop somewhere inside Tseng's head.

* * *

 "Well, that could have gone worse," Dante said as they picked up the remains of the charts and 'didactic material': most of it had been destroyed by slashes of Masamune.

"But hey! No one was hurt, yo."

"Tell that to the whiteboard, Reno," Elena said as she picked up the pieces.

"Hey, he's waking up," Freyra said from below.

She was fanning and unconscious Tseng with the set of unused note-cards. After the chief woke up, he inserted all the stray hairs into his ponytail and fixed his suit.

"The only reason I don't fire you all is because I'd have to kill you."

"Is that… Good?" Elena asked timidly.

"Of course not! Good Gaia! How am I supposed to show my face in the next board meeting!" Tseng yelled.

"Well…"

"DON'T, Reno… Just _don't_ …" He said while rubbing the bridge of his nose with both hands.

After they cleaned up (none of them daring ask what was Reno's plan for the cantaloupe) the Turks walked to the office. As they crossed the doors of the conference room, John said: "Good lesson, I always end up learning something new." The barista broke in laughter as he cleaned the remains of his coffee-making equipment.

They spent the rest of the day filling paperwork in an empty meeting room. To their knowledge, it had been the only conference to ever require a damage assessment. After being informed of new discounts to their paychecks, the Turks left the improvised office late at night. Dante, Elena and Cissnei walked to their housing floor: Elena was the first to separate from the small group, and Cissnei walked a few more doors down from Dante's.

The rookie entered his room, loosened his tie and opened a bottle of water. It wasn't long before someone knocked at the door. Dante walked to open and found Erick on the other side, although he already knew it was him: any other of the Turks would have simply barged in.

The SOLDIER held a bag with a couple of take-out boxes and gave a sympathetic smile as he walked in. They started eating in silence, none of them daring bring up the events of that morning.

"So… When do you know if you'll be promoted to 2nd Class?"

"You don't know?"

"No. Why would I?"

Erick directed his gaze at the food. He started poking it with the fork.

"I thought that the Turks were the ones that… Never mind that…" He quickly looked up and met Dante's eyes. "So… Where did you get the…?"

"You don't wanna know" the Turk interrupted.

"OK." Erick took a gulp from the soda can. He started chuckling, and the broke in laughter. "It was just SO big! You should have seen your face!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to suppress that memory!" Dante said, feeling blood rush to his ears again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done!
> 
> I swear I'm not slacking! I have extra work lately!
> 
> Anyways, as usual, thank you for reading and following this story. Let me know what you think so far.
> 
> See ya!


	17. Confession

The Science Department laboratory was bathed in the orange glow of a recently acquired device. Professor Hojo saw through the transparent window into the new machine: they were almost ready. He read the instructions carefully again, something unusual, given that he rarely double-checked for anything (as he was always right). This operation, however, required upmost care and he had never done this kind of preparation. The doctor waited patiently at the chronometer he had set up. When the time was right, he turned off the metallic box with a dial on the right, carefully opened the door and pulled the tray inside with gloved hands.

How had the Acquisitions Department questioned this purchase: _"But… are you sure? Don't you mean an autoclave or an incubator?"._ Odin's balls, yes! An oven is what he wanted! Why did stupid people question him? With what right? With that experience? With what PhD., for Minerva's sake!?

Hojo placed the tray on the laboratory table and inhaled profoundly: sweet and warming, like a Summer's night. The brownies were ready. He took a knife and sliced the piece after it had cooled enough, then removed the spongy blocks from the tray and placed them in a gift basket. He carefully dusted them with powdery sugar, in a loving way completely alien to his usual methods. He wrote and folded a card and placed it inside. Hojo then walked to the door of the lab, were a SOLDIER candidate was waiting for him.

"You know what to do," the scientist said.

"So, will this help me get into SOLDIER professor?"

There they go again, stupid people questioning him. Hojo decided to be calm and not say anything that might compromise the delivery. "Yes, of course. Deliver those and you'll be in SOLDIER next week. I already placed your name with my recommendation on the card."

After a quick "thank you, sir!", the naïve young man dashed down the hallway. Hojo saw his first (and probably last) set of pastries disappear around the corner. Those brownies would have been perfect, had they not been made with spiteful feelings, a deep desire for revenge and of course, heaps of Hojo's secret ingredient.

* * *

Dante and Cissnei were walking to the new office. New for Dante a least, because it turned out, their cramped office had been borrowed after Rude had destroyed the original one. Luckily, reparations had been completed a few days after Reno's chaotic sex-ed lesson. They moved (made Rude move) what remained of their items to the renovated office and began arguing a very important topic: who go what desk.

"As second in command, I think I should have the desk closest to Tseng's," Freyra had said.

"Who died and made you second in command, yo?"

"She's not dead yet! Just incapacitated!" Cissnei claimed in a scandalized tone.

"Who's incapacitated?" Dante asked while pulling some papers from a box.

"I know that! And that is why, until she returns I should take her place!"

"I'm calling bull', yo! What about Ruluf? He was here before you!"

"He is still on that long-term mission! That's what they would have wanted!" Freyra stated matter-of-factly.

"Who's Ruluf?" Dante's question went unanswered, as a loud crash on the door interrupted the conversation: Rude had dropped the materia file cabinet on the door, scattering the orbs all over the pristine new carpet of the office floor.

"Ahw! Come one Rude! I had just sorted those out!" Elena said.

The discussion was settled when Freyra camped behind the disputed desk and started shooting rubber slugs to whomever questioned her decision on the matter.

Remembering the interrupted conversation, Dante decided to ask again:

"So, Cissnei. Are there other Turks besides us six?"

"A few. They usually are in long term missions or undercover, so you don't see much of-what are you two doing?" Cissnei interrupted herself: Freyra and Reno were squatting right next to the office door.

"Shh!" Reno said in a quiet voice and pressed his ear against the door. Not waiting to be consumed by curiosity, Dante and Cissnei followed suit and listened to the voices inside:

" _I-I can't any more, Rude!"_

" _Come on Elena, you know you want it…"_

" _It's just… So big!"_

"What the…!" Cissnei started, but Freyra made quick hand-motions to silence her.

" _Here, I know you want it bad, partner…"_

" _Rude!"_

" _Open wide, here it comes…"_

" _Rude, please n-ghggghh!"_

"What are you doing?" Tseng said from behind to his spies.

"Shh!" Reno said.

"Are you hushing your superior officer!?"

" _Ahhhh! It is spilling everywhere!"_

" _Here, clean yourself up…"_

" _Oh no! It's dripping!"_

Tseng's face contorted in shock: "Are they…!? Good Gaia! Not in the new carpet!" Tseng yelled before trampling over his subordinates, kicking the door open and bashing in.

The image inside was unexpected: Elena was sitting on her desk, holding half of a cream-filled pastry and wiping white goo from her mouth and chin. Rude was standing in front of her, offering a handkerchief. Thankfully, they were both dressed and judging by the number of candy wrappers at their feet, they had been busy.

"What's all this?" Dante asked when he noticed that the pastry in Elena's hand was not the only one: every desk, filer, most chairs and a substantial area of the office floor was covered in a deep layer of candy boxes, chocolates, gift baskets, bottles of expensive-looking liquors and all sorts of presents.

"YES! It is that time of the year again!" Freyra said in a cheerful tone.

"Oh man! Do you think they sent-yes! Mideel Leviathan Rum, yo!" Reno said, holding a bottle triumphantly.

"I saved your favorites Cissnei," Elena said to the redhead, while offering her a box of crystallized fruit slices.

"Oh, sweet!" she answered while munching gleefully at the confections.

"I still don't-" Dante started, but was quickly interrupted by his boss:

"SOLDIERs: the candidates hoping to enter the program and active members who want to get promoted think this will help them."

"Bafficallly, aff kiffing, yoh!" Reno said, his mouth filled with a brownie from an expensive-looking basket.

"The candidates go all the way out to ensure they are selected," Elena said, while she and Freyra took a brownie each.

"A shameful behavior if you ask me. I don't know why Veld agreed to take over this," Tseng said while taking a dumbapple from a fruit basket. The Turks looked at him questioningly as he took a bite from the purple fruit.

"I said I don't _approve_ , not that I don't _like it_!"

"So, the Turks select the new SOLDIER candidates and promotions?" Dante asked, now actively looking for his favorite chocolate brand among the gifts.

"Oh no, Sephiroth does," Cissnei said, the box she had been offered a mere minute before was already half-empty, "but he hates all this, so-" she popped another piece of fruit in her mouth "-he 'transferred' the duty to the Turks. In practice he still does the selections, though."

"Some members go _all_ the way; you know?" Freyra started, "offering expensive dinners, mastered materia…"

"…their bodies…" Cissnei cut in.

Dante started to cough violently, spitting pieces of peanuts and chocolate in the process; "what!?"

"They _know_ many would kill for a wild nigh or two with and enhanced SOLDIER," Elena said nonchalantly.

"Some of they are quite forward about it, actually. Which reminds me, Cissnei… Do you have it?" Freyra asked. The redhead pulled a paper with a list of names in it from the inside pocket of her suit.

"All the SOLDIER members that I'm positive are more than willing to give you a reason to wash your bedsheets," she said with a complicit grim.

Tseng gasped noisily and ran to the door and locked it, "no. no, No, NO! A million times no! I will not sit here knowing that my subordinates are engaging in solicitation with-"

"Chief! It is not prostitution! It is the exchange of a service for the intangible concept of a promotion!" Reno said, taking another bite from the brownies.

"How is that better!? It is not even a real concept! We all know we have no say in that! You are taking advantage of them! SOLDIERs are not studs that you can choose to-"

Reno burst out laughing.

"May I ask what is so funny, Reno?"

Reno went on, interrupted by bursts of laughter that made it quite difficult to understand him: "studs…! You know! Like horses! And Freyra…! She… She… Has a _pony_ tail, yo!"

As if he had told the greatest joke ever, Elena and Freyra started laughing uncontrollably. The other Turks watched them curiously. Bad jokes were usually reserved for Elena, and even then…

"I really don't want to find out," Cissnei said while she pulled her camera from the drawer of her desk, "now, if you'll excuse me, there are many desperate men out there and I can easily get a year's worth of centerfolds," the Turk left the office.

The door had barely closed when a cloud of white dust filled the office: Elena had activated one of the extinguishers, aiming it at Reno's head:

"Reno! Your hair is on fire!"

"Oh shit! Put it out, yo!" The Turk dropped and rolled on the carpet while Elena bathed him in the extinguisher dust.

"What has gotten into you!?" Tseng yelled, "you are acting as if-OUCH!" A rubber slug had just hit him at point-blank on the forehead.

"Freyra! What the hell!?" Dante yelled.

"Sorry chief! There is a bug on your forehead- ah shit it's still there! Don't worry, I'll get it!" She started reloading her shotgun, this time with a live shell.

"Woa!" Rude said and dashed to take the weapon out of his partner's hands while Dante helped the chief up.

"It is a birth mark, you idiot! I've had it all the time!" Tseng said as he prompted himself on his desk, a red bump growing alarmingly on his forehead.

"Hey chief… You have a _pony_ tail too, you know," Elena said. The Turks began laughing again.

"What on Gaia was in those brownies?"

"Who knows!? But they are great!" Elena said, giggling. "I need to recommend the _horse_ to Sephiroth!"

"Sephiroth the stable master, yo!" More laughter ensued. Freyra fell backward from her chair.

Dante was reading the card that accompanied the brownies. "Sir, we may have a problem." The rookie offered the card to Tseng, who examined it with a puzzled look.

"Who is _Herb W. Ganja_?"

Rude chuckled at the alias. The chief put two and two together: "fuck!" he said under his breath.

" _This is General Sephiroth speaking."_

The Turks turned in unison to see Elena already talking on the phone with the speaker on:

"Hey, Stable Master! I want to bet on a horse for SOLDIER! His name is Herb W. Ganja!" Elena said cheerfully.

" _WHAT!? Who is this…!?"_

"NOOOOO!" Tseng dashed and pulled the cord of the phone, ripping it clean from the plug, along with a sizeable chunk of drywall.

"Hello? Hellooooo…?" Elena went on talking to the dead phone.

"Good Gaia! This cannot get any worse…" Tseng said. As if on cue, his phone rang. He passed next to Reno, who was asking Freyra to help him look for his missing tie.

"Department of Administrative Research. What? Now!?" Tseng scanned the chaotic room with his eyes and then proceeded: "no, no problem. I'll dispatch some agents immediately." He hanged the phone and directed himself to his remaining -sane- Turks: "Hojo called in, he says there is a monster on the loose in his lab. He requires urgent assistance. You two handle the problem while I look after these… Two!? Where's Reno!?"

"Oh man…" Dante said as he pointed to Reno's suit and shirt that were lying on the floor.

"NO! Reno has melted!" Elena exclaimed as she stopped trying to contact Sephiroth on the unplugged phone and dropped to her knees next to the discarded clothes.

"Oh shit!" Freyra exclaimed. The Turks turned to her: "there are ants on the roof!"

"There is nothing there Freyra, get a grip!" Tseng yelled.

"Ifrit's loincloth! There is a shit-ton of them!" Freyra yelled, alarmed, "must be all the sugar in the room!"

"There's nothing there!"

"Do you see them Tommy!?" she asked.

" _I see them! Save us Freyra!"_ the imaginary Tonberry that was sitting on the trash bin urged her.

Tseng turned to Rude and Dante: "you two go assist Hojo, I'll go find Reno-"

BANG

Pieces of ceiling tiles fell on the office after Freyra shot a live shell at the hallucinations. The door opened again and Cissnei re-entered.

"I forgot the extra batte-Can't I leave five minutes without everything going to hell!?"

"Reno, high as fuck running in his underwear, go find him!" Tseng ordered Cissnei as he and Dante wrestled the shotgun out of Freyra's hands. In the struggle, a wine bottle fell from the top of a filer and stained the new carpet a deep purple.

"Naked Reno? Excellent!" the redhead dashed to her desk and pulled a new battery pack and a fistful of memory cards. She then ran out of the office again.

"No! You are supposed to bring him here! Not-never mind! You two, handle the monster, I'll watch after these two!"

"Sir!" Dante and Rude said in unison as they left.

Tseng was left alone in the formerly pristine office, with Elena alternating her funeral lamentations between Reno's clothes and the broken wine bottle and Freyra pulling a Fire materia to deal with the imaginary pest. As Dante pressed the buttons to Hojo's floor, Rude said "You know, Reno doesn't wear underwear often."

* * *

Scarlet went to open the door of her luxurious office. The incessant knocking was interrupted as the door swung open. The sight on the other side made her remember the wild parties of her college years: a shirtless Reno was holding a archive box in front of his crotch, he opened the top while he announced:

"Did someone ordered dick on a box, yo?"

"Wha-what-WHAT!?" she exclaimed while the Turk laughed and ran down the hallway.

_Click click click._

"Sorry about that" another Turk (thankfully, fully dressed) said as she ran after the streaker.

"Darn weirdos," Scarlet exclaimed, though secretly, she had no objection to the redhead's package.

* * *

"You look troubled, partner."

"Uh? No, I'm fine…" Dante said as he checked the number of shells in the chamber of Freyra's shotgun. Truth be told, something was troubling him: after all he had heard and seen that morning, the rookie could only ask himself if Erick's friendship (and more) was not without ulterior motive. Had he not asked Dante a few days prior if he knew anything about the SOLDIER promotions? He could not fathom someone going to such lengths for that, but still, doubt was already rooting in his mind. The elevator door opened and the Turks dashed through the hallways and into Hojo's laboratory.

Dante and Rude were greeted by a chimera wreaking havoc on the laboratory. A few SOLDIER thirds were running around, trying to slash it, while others were pulling their unconscious comrades out of harm's way.

"Dammit! A heads up would have been nice!" the rookie said as he saw the size of the monster.

"Well, now you have _four_ heads up," Rude answered.

"Really?"

"We have to keep Elena's tradition going while she's _up._ "

"Stop it…"

"I guess that…"

"Duck!"

They barely dodged a claw from the beast. Dante aimed the borrowed shotgun and started firing at the beast while Rude ran in the opposite direction and started casting Lightning on it. The polycephalous beast was quite a challenge: it clearly had no intention of remaining there and Dante could not blame it; who knew what was Hojo doing with it.

The shotgun ran out of ammo before any significant damage could be made. Dante could not understand how his partner used it in every single situation. The snake-tail of the monster contorted around and lunged towards the rookie. He was pushed down to the floor just in time to avoid a bite of the serpentine being.

"Hey hot stuff! Need a hand?"

"Not now Erick." It was hard enough to decide to what head to fire without the distractions of his own mind. Dante stood up, dropped the shotgun and pulled his own handgun from the holster under his jacket.

He started running around the chimera, firing from different angles to try to hit one of the frontal heads. Erick followed around, deflecting the odd claw of the monster and whatever debris was sent flying in their direction with his sword.

Suddenly, the chimera slowed down. An eerie bluish glow started to appear on its eyes. From its frontal mouths it started to expel a dense, blue swirling mist that, as if it were water, started to fill the room at a fast pace: in mere seconds, the men in the room were neck-deep in the Aqua-breath spell. Just before they were covered, Dante cast a Gravity spell to the top of a large cylindrical glass container that was in the center or the room. He and Erick were pulled toward it and smashed their ribs against the upper edge; the SOLDIER climbed up and pulled Dante to the top of the glass cylinder. From the top they could see that most of the SOLDIERs in the room were unconscious or gasping under the effect of the Aqua-breath spell. Dante could see Rude on the other side of the room, climbing from some boxes to a pipe that ran along the wall.

As quickly as it had appeared, the blue mist vanished into nothingness and the chimera resumed its attack.

"All right, not it's my turn!" Erick said. He lifted his left arm and readied a spell from his own materia bracer. The monster's eyes focused on nothing and acquired a faint green tint. "Now, stay still!" The monster lay completely motionless, commanded by the Manipulate materia.

"Way to go!" a SOLDIER said from below as he dashed with his sword ready to slash a head of the beast.

"No! Wait!" Dante yelled as the sword made a barely visible cut on the thick. Snapped out of the spell, the chimera lowered its gaze at the assaulting man and clawed at it with such force that the SOLDIER was sent flying across the room and against a wooden crate.

The beast was about to lunge itself to maim the unconscious man when Rude cast another lightning spell. The chimera turned and leapt towards the Turk. While in mid-air, Dante cast a Gravity spell above the monster and smashed it against the roof of the lab but its size made it difficult to sustain the effects for long. Just as the chimera fell, it stood up and aimed its heads at Dante and Erick. This time, a green smoke made its way to them: the poisonous cloud was about to make contact when Erick pushed the Turk out of the way.

Dante fell from the container hard against the ground of the lab. He immediately turned his head upward to see what had become of his partner. To his relief, he was just coughing a bit. Their eyes met for a moment and then Erick stated with a grin: "Added effect Materia."

Dante sighted in relief and then cast Slow on the chimera, from the other side of the room, Rude called:

"Use this!" He then knocked down a cylinder of compressed gas and let it roll to the center of the lab. From the glass cylinder, Erick repeated the Manipulate spell and forced the central head of the monster to hold the metal container on its mouth. Dante then took cover behind some crates and aimed his handgun at it: the sound of the handgun was nothing compared to the explosion of the gas cylinder in the confined space. After the rumbles and echoes had subsided, the Turk peeked out to see the headless monster in a pool of gore.

* * *

It took some time for the emergency units to finish healing the wounded. Dante required some work on his arm, as he had fallen on top of it when Erick pushed him out of harm's way.

Leaving the rest to the cleaning crew, the Turks left the laboratory. Unfortunately, the expectation of a sugary treat from their misdirected tribute was cut short when they arrived at the office: not a single edible item remained in the place. Freyra and Elena were huddled together against a corner of the office and Reno (wearing nothing but his underwear) was below his desk snoring loudly. Tseng was asleep on his desk, next to a pair of fire extinguishers and Cissnei was in her own desk sorting a massive amount of photos in her laptop.

"What happened to all the snacks!?"

"They got _really_ hungry. Frankly I'd be surprised if they don't get sick," she said with disinterest as she pulled a memory card from the laptop's slot and inserted another one from a pile next to her. "Now, if you want, there are some weird fruits over there. Not even they dared touch those," Cissnei said and pointed to a fruit basket on Rude's desk. Dante decided to pass on the weird-looking fruits, but then noticed that new damage could be seen everywhere on the place: burn marks on the walls, roof and carpet stained the place and holes dotted the drywalls. Not wanting to be forced to clean the place, Dante and Rude excused themselves and left the office before Tseng woke up.

Back at his place, Dante removed the blood-stained jacked of his suit. Something made a scrunching sound in the inner pocket.

"What?"

From inside the jacket, the rookie pulled half of the chocolate bar he was eating back that morning. "Bingo!" Just as he was going to resume his snack, there was a knock on the door. Dante opened the door and found Erick on the other side, holding a large bag of chips and a couple of soda cans.

"You better step up your game, you know? I saw far better gifts today."

"Well, I send most of my money to my mother and brother so…"

They sat in silence for a few minutes, eating the chips and drinking the soda.

"Why are you with me?" Dante asked finally.

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb," the rookie said coldly as he sipped from his can. Erick sighted and looked at some point on the wall behind.

"OK. Yes. At first I thought that maybe I could, you know, get something out of this. But as time went on, I realized that being promoted was not something I wanted so badly as to risk what we have."

Dante let out his breath slowly.

"I'm sorry."

They stood in silence a few minutes. Finally, Dante said.

"Thank you."

"Huh? What for?"

"Pushing me away from the poison attack."

Erick chuckled a bit: "well, it was that or carrying you green a vomiting all over the place."

Dante laughed. After a brief silence he said: "during that fight… I was scared… For you."

Erick slimed slightly. "Yeah. So was I."

They continued eating their snack for a while before Erick broke the silence again:

"So… What are those rumors that Reno was running naked on the building?"

Dante coughed noisily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this took me longer than expected.
> 
> I tweaked the setting of this chapter a few times before I started writing (and re-writing). As you probably noticed, I'm planning on introducing some extra Turks later on, but to keep the character count manageable they'll probably just be in for a few chapters (it is already hard to keep track of who is or isn't in the room!)
> 
> Anyways, special thanks to those that are following this story -suscribed or not!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments, suggestions and reviews would help me a lot here!
> 
> See you later!


	18. Hide your daughters!

Hojo re-played the video from the security camera of his laboratory. He skipped the part where he opened the cage that held the chimera to the part where the Turks and SOLDIERs killed it by exploding a gas bottle. As expected, most of the black-suited spies were absent from that particular event. Hojo knew very well that the Science Department and specially, he, were high in the Turk's priority list of protection. It was unheard of that the chief had not send all of the agents to "help him" when he had requested it. Of course, as mastermind behind the escape of the monster and of the Turk's absence, he was not surprised at all.

His thoughts had been consumed by one thing and one thing only: revenge. Not only had Reno left him to his own devices at the Honeybee Inn, he had made sure Hojo was, well… The professor didn't like to think of it. He rose from his seat, letting a donut-shaped cushion fall from his chair and went to his telephone. He had a new idea to deal with the Turks. "This is Professor Hojo. Connect me with General Sephiroth at once!" He demanded to his assistant.

He would put them against impossible odds. A challenge none of the would be able to stand against in such a short notice. Once word of the Turk's incompetence spread throughout the company, he would push for the dismantlement of their department with President Shin-Ra. A few seconds later, someone answered on the other side of the line:

"Yello…"

"What? Who is this?" the professor asked at the unfamiliar voice.

"What do you-oh! Right! I'm not in my office! You see, I think I made a typo on my last report and I wanted to double-check but I had already delivered it to Sephiroth and I was checking though the pile of papers of his desk to corroborate that the mistake wasn't really there…"

"What?" the professor asked, confused.

" _Corroborate!_ It is a new fancy long-word that I learned!"

"Who is this!?"

"Ah! Right! Sorry for that! Lieutenant Fair, sir… Who are you again? It is rude to ask for someone's name without providing-ah crap!" The sound of multiple papers falling and scattering on the floor came from the line.

"Where is Sephiroth!?" Hojo asked, annoyed. No answer came. "Hello?" the noise of shuffling papers could be heard.

"Hi, I'm back!"

"I want to know-"

"And I found my report!"

"Yes, yes. Now tell me-"

"Hey, quick question: is "annihilated" written with one or two "h"?"

"One. Now, listen…"

"Ok- how about the "l"? One or two?"

"One, too-"

"Wait… One or two?"

"One!"

"But you said _one-two_!"

"Just one!"

"Then why say _two_ after _one_? It's confusing!"

"I said _one_ -comma- _too!"_

"Ahh, I see…"

"Now listen, I need-"

"What a strange word, with a comma in the middle… A-n-n-i-h-i-l-,-l-l-a-t-e-d… That doesn't seem right!"

"Wha-! Of course it is not right!"

"But you said that-"

"For crying out loud! Can't you SOLDIERs do anything except play with your swords!? It is a simple word! How did you even pass the written test you big idiot!?"

There was silence. Then quiet sobs could be heard.

"What!? Are you crying!?"

"I-I'm sorry! I-I just w-wanted to send a report devoid of m-mi-mistakes to the General. La-Lazard said that I'll never be a hero if I can't write properly!"

"He was right you know…"

"Waaaaah!"

Hojo popped an Aspirin while he waited for the SOLDIER to calm down. He wondered how a simple task such as a telephone call had come to this. It was a shame that Sephiroth refused to use a PHS. He drummed his fingers until the Lieutenant had reduced his hysterics to mere sobs.

"Feeling better?" Hojo asked, perhaps, for the first time in his life.

"Y-yeah…"

"Did you get it out of your system?"

"Mhmm…"

"All right. Can you deliver a message to General Sephiroth?"

"Yeah, I can…" Sobs.

"Tell him that Professor Hojo says that mako injections for the new SOLDIER recruits and for those promoted will take place tomorrow morning, after the results are made public."

"Ok. I just wrote it down. And professor…?"

Hojo inhaled deep and slow. "Yes?"

"Two or three "n"?"

Hojo smashed the receiver.

* * *

 "Today's the day!" Erick said while pulling the sheets from the bed. Dante curled defensively at the sudden cold: Winter was slowly creeping in Midgar and coming from a sun-bathed coastal city meant he was taking a long time to adapt to the temperate weather.

"What-?"

"The SOLDIER results! I'll know if I was promoted!"

"Ah. That…" Dante said, half asleep.

"Come on! You should be happier for me!"

"I am, I am… It's just…" Dante snoozed "…Too early." He was promptly presented a cup of coffee, or something that may have been made of coffee: it was thick and for some reason, lumpy. "Ughh. Whas is this?" The rookie said as he chewed on some mush that was floating on the beverage.

"It's my special! Coffee and marshmallows! You like it?"

"Yeah… It's… Er… Good…"

The Turk made the best effort to swallow all of the strange mixture. John the barista set the standard really high. After swallowing the last of the marshmallows he asked: "so what happens after you are promoted?"

"Well. If I am promoted to 2nd class I'll stop sharing accommodations with other two partners and get a department like yours and get to eat a larger meal."

Dante observed him with a raised eyebrow. "Is that all?"

"Well, of course not! I get access to more materia, equipment and uniform and I can participate in new, more dangerous missions."

"Like finding Tonberry's to steal their knives?"

"It's not as easy as it sounds! Those fuckers are hard to kill!"

"In any case it really doesn't sound much more different than 3rd class," Dante said teasingly as he started to brush his teeth, trying to get out chunks of marshmallow from between his molars. Then, his partner closed in from behind, pushing his chest against Dante's back and placing his arms around the Turk's torso. The SOLDIER then whispered to his ear:

"Well, and a few days later I'll get a new, heavier dose of Mako, and I will be really… Like _really_ horny for about a week…"

Dante stopped the brushing at the often-cited event, accidentally leaving some of the white foam drip from the corner of his mouth to his chin.

"Yeah… Just like that" Erick said, whipping the foam suggestively with his thumb. "And then I'll fuck you silly all night long," he added in a husky voice that send shivers down Dante's spine.

"Anywho, forewarned is forearmed," Erick said in a playful tone. "See ya later!" He then grabbed the last of his equipment and left the apartment in a rush. Dante stood motionless for a moment before resuming his morning routine.

After picking up decent coffee for the day, Dante went to the office. As soon as he opened the door, he was scolded by a man than was kneeled on the wall next to Elena's desk:

"You take off shoes before entering!"

"Ah, sorry Mr. Won." Dante removed his boots, aligned them with those of his partners and carefully stepped into the office. Mr. Won was the Wutaian handyman that had been assigned the laborious task of repairing the Turk's office: from covering burn marks to re-carpeting the floor, he was zealous about his work and most of all, about making said repairs last. Today he was repairing the hole on the wall that resulted from Tseng's rather crude removal of the telephone's cable a few days prior.

"Awh come on chief! Can't you do anything about it?" Reno's voice came from the chief's office.

"I'm afraid not Reno, your meeting with Human Resources will proceed," Tseng said as they walked out of the chief's office. Dante mused that of all the things he had seen in Shin-Ra so far, the weirdest had to be Tseng and Reno arguing in socks at the office.

"But I was not myself when that happened! Our brownies were tampered with!"

"Sure, explain that you were high while streaking, I'm sure that'll help your case," Elena said from behind her crossword puzzle magazine, her pink-socked feet crossed on top of her desk.

"Feet down from table!" Mr. Won yelled, pointing menacingly at her with the plaster-covered masonry trowel.

"Sorry, sorry!" she said. It stood to reason that the man was unaware of the reputation the occupants of the office had, given how he spoke to them.

Freyra opened the office door, closely followed by Rude. Mr. Won's yells took too little: "Shoes off new carpet!"

If they were annoyed (and Dante was sure they were), the Turks concealed it perfectly. Rude and Freyra removed their boots and walked in.

"We're back from the Equipment and Weapons department, chief," Freyra announced, "they'll be sending the riot equipment later this week."

"Good, maybe you can request a new pair of socks for Reno," Dante said.

"Out of sight, out of mind, yo," the redhead proclaimed with a grin, eyeing his big toe through a hole in his right sock.

"Riot equipment? Are we being sent to stop protesters?" Elena asked as she chewed on the eraser of her pencil. Right at that moment, Dante's PHS beeped a couple of times. The rookie opened it to read the text as Tseng spoke.

"No, but close. Hojo starts the Mako treatments for the SOLDIERs. We are in charge of the security that day. That means you have to practice use of riot shotguns –yes, you too Elena- before this weekend."

"Aw, shit! That's next week!?" Reno said.

"Ugh! I hate those days. SOLDIER's get brawly, rude, short-tempered, horny and…" Freyra started

"…it's today…" Dante said, reading the message on his phone.

The Turks turned around and faced him, a collage of horror and doubt in their faces. Dante showed them the message:

" _Got promoted! Heading 4mako now!_ " Freyra read aloud.

"That doesn't make sense! Hojo always takes at least one week on preparations!" Tseng said. Dante was already typing an answer with Reno looking over his shoulder:

" _Mako? U sure? Not next week?"_ Dante read as he typed. "Stop it!" he said to Reno when he started poking his ankle with his free toe.

A few seconds later, the answer came:

" _Yup. 1sts R out already!_ "

"Oh shit! Oh shit! What now chief!?" Elena said, dropping her magazine and walking in circles.

"We can't have people in the building with those Mako enhanced barbarians running around!" Freyra said

"Calm down everyone! This is not as bad as you are making it look!" Tseng said.

"You say that. But I remember seven years ago, I had to rebuild wall in flor 34. Nobody was right in head after" Mr. Wong said.

"What?" Elena said in a high-pitched voice.

"Stop it! You are scaring her!" Freyra said as she grabbed her partner by the shoulders reassuringly.

"Govern yourself! Now: Rude, Reno and Dante, go get the riot equipment ASAP. Freyra and Elena, begin primary evacuations and- where's Cissnei…?"

* * *

 Several floors up, Cissnei was tip-toeing the pristine carpet of Sephiroth's bedroom. She was determined to find something fresh to add to the Silver Elite fan shop and her sources said the General was called out last minute. That probably meant he didn't have the time to clean as thoroughly as he would have wanted. As the Turk crept in the bedroom and noticed the secret door was open she heard the distinctive sound the door opening, followed by erratic steps and leather shuffling.

"Shit!" she said in a muted voice as she dashed into the secret room making no sound at all.

Much to her despair, it turned out that the General was heading in her direction too. She quickly ran to a strange piece of furniture that had leather straps and buckles everywhere and ducked behind it.

"Yeah" -passionate kissing sounds- "I've been a naughty boy, General…"

"Indeed, you have you little slut…"

"Please sir! I must be punished…!

"Strip!" Sephiroth commanded.

Cissnei held her breath as an all-too familiar red leather coat fell in front of her and the distinctive sound of skin-slapping began echoing in the room.

* * *

 "…Well, never mind her! Go!" Tseng ordered. They quickly ran out of the office.

Then returned for their boots and promptly left again.

Twenty minutes later, the Turks were back in the office carrying equipment, weapons and ammunition. Reno and Rude began pulling protection gear from a box that they carelessly tossed on the carpet. At least, Mr. Won was not there to chastise them.

"Get your jacket and tie off, they can try to choke you with it, yo!"

Dante quickly obeyed and started donning the equipment handed over by his partners. Freyra and Elena entered the room carrying a backpack and, to Dante's surprise, several tactical belts decorated with flashbang grenades. In no time, the Turks were covered in knee and elbow guards, a thick tactical vest and were carrying a drum shotgun, several shells and a belt with grenades.

From within the backpack, Freyra handed them each a can of pepper spray and a Taser.

"Just for emergency. If anything, using these will only make them angrier," she warned. Something large crashed in the floor directly above them.

"OhshitwearegonnadieIshould'velistenedtomysisterandnotjoinedtheTurks!"

"Elena, calm down!" Freyra said, and promptly slapped her.

"Get a grip, yo!" Reno slapped her too.

"And this one if from Cissnei!" Freyra slapped her again.

Elena stood still for a moment, shock in her face and then walked to the materia cabinet behind her desk and started passing gloves and materia to her partners.

"Now…" Freyra started. She was cut by Tseng, who entered the room: his suit was in disarray and several strands of hair were loose from his usually pristine ponytail.

"They are already crawling through the building!" He quickly got into his own protection gear and grabbed a shotgun. "Freyra and Elena, you go to the upper floors and protect the president and the heads of department. You three, go through the building and make sure everyone is evacuated." He cocked the shotgun.

At that moment the lights went out. Elena gave out a little yelp. Seconds later, dim emergency orange lights illuminated the building. Tseng's PHS ringed, which made everyone gasp in surprise.

"Tseng here."

Despair-filled yells came from the other side of the line: "Mr. Tseng! Help! They are at the door! They managed to cut power from the building!"

A series of loud noised and crashes came from the other side. Some screaming later, the phone went dead.

"Is this a yearly occurrence?" Dante asked.

"Unfortunately for us, yes." Tseng said as he pocketed his PHS. "I'll go down to the power room to-"

"AVALANCHE is upon us! Everyone get ready to-UMPH!" Veld fell unconscious on his back after Elena smashed the stock of her shotgun on the former chief's face.

"Elena! What the hell!" Freyra yelled.

"Sorry! He scared me!"

"Never mind him! Just throw him on the back!" Tseng ordered, and Rude quickly complied, dragging the unconscious man to the office in the back.

"As we were, I will go down and restore the lights. You do as I orde-"

"Little Turks, little Turks! Let me come in!"

"What the-?" Reno said.

Something smashed the office door from the outside. The lock held the door locked and in place, but a second thundering crash sent splinters flying into the office: someone was attempting to axe down their door. Elena gave a cry of despair as a hole opened in one of the doors and a SOLDIER poked his head in: his face was sweaty and his eyes were glowing blue with mako.

"Here's Jamie!"

"Oh shit!" Dante said, as he and Freyra both aimed their shotguns at the intruder.

"Freyyyra! I have a little favor to repay you my sweetlips!"

"Like hell you- wait, what?" Reno said while Elena hid behind Rude.

"Didn't she told you? I gave her some good old-fashioned SOLDIER body-love to get my promotion! It is only fair that I return the favor to her!"

"I told you all that-!" Tseng yelled over the mayhem.

"Save it chief!" she aimed her shotgun and fired at the intruder practically at point-blank. The rubber slug bounced from his forehead and smashed into Dante's desk lamp.

"Come on!" the rookie said as he saw the remains of the appliance.

"'Body-love'? Who calls it that?" Elena asked from behind Rude.

"A jackass, that's who," Reno said.

Freyra opened the door a little, only to see her suitor unconscious on the other side of the hall, blood oozing over his face from a cut above his eyebrow. Still aiming, she kicked the axe out of his reach and entered the office again.

"Well, I hope it was a mighty good fuck you got from that guy, because I won't hear Mr. Won about the door, yo."

"Zip it Reno!"

"Never mind this now! Go and do as I said!"

"Sir!" said the Turks in unison.

Just as they stepped outside, Jamie grabbed Freyra's leg and pulled her down:

"Kyaa! Let me go!"

"I know you like to be in control, but maybe, juuuuust maybe… This time you'd like to-"

Reno shocked him on the back of the neck with his EMR until he fell unconscious again.

"A mighty-GOOD-fuck, yo" Reno paraphrased.

After running down the hall, the Turks split; Reno, Dante and Rude to the offices in the floors below, Freyra and Elena to the upper floors and Tseng downstairs to the power room.

As Dante ran behind Reno and Rude, a new message entered his PHS:

_Get lube }: )_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see!
> 
> As usual, my concepts give more text than I think they can… Then again, almost one-third of the chapter is the Zack-Hojo phone call. Once I started that I couldn't stop!
> 
> Also, I don't plan on this story to drift into smut or anything overtly explicit… The Dante-Erick BL it's just something I throw in there to add variety (in my defense, I asked if it was OK some chapters ago and no-one said no XD )
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think so far and if you have suggestions or requests.
> 
> Thank you for reading and until the next time ;)


	19. Of SOLDIERs and madness II

Elena and Freyra went to the highest floors. Although the blonde was still nervous, she kept a professional demeanor and concealed it perfectly. As they rose through the building, the Turks could hear a multitude of noises, ranging from screaming, to crashes to animals of some sort roaring (probably the SOLDIERs receiving the mako). To Freyra it was all the more distressing with the counterpoint of the soothing elevator music. She remembered quite well the first time she had been in mako-injection day: it was the day the Turk decided that she would never part from her shotgun.

When the doors opened, the women walked through the corridors and up to floor 66. Inside a conference room, they found the heads of department (sans Hojo) and President Shin-Ra himself. Freyra started to introduce themselves:

"Agents Elena and Freyra from the Turks, we are here to pro-"

"How long are we going to be here?" President Shin-Ra interrupted.

"Until I receive order to let you out, sir. Your safe-" Freyra began.

"I have important events scheduled for today, you know?" Scarlet added.

"Don't worry. Your boy-toys are going nowhere until you pay them," Heidegger said.

"Oh, excuse me! I didn't know it was idiot's turn for speaking," she snapped back.

"Please, if you would-" Elena began.

"This is nonsense! I will not hide in an office while everything falls apart here!" President Shin-Ra exclaimed.

"I refuse to be babysat by Turks! I'll call one of the 1st class SOLDIERs" Heidegger pulled his PHS. The man squinted at the tiny screen and then addressed the man sitting next to him:

"Tuesti, where do I find the contacts?"

"Don't call any SOLDIER now! This is why we are here in the first place!" Freyra yelled.

"But-"

"No buts!"

"-it's already dialing…"

* * *

A polyphonic ringtone began emanating from the red leather coat in front of Cissnei. She opened her eyes wide in shock, knowing that if any of the men reached for it, her not-so-good hideout would be discovered. Come to think of it, if being discovered meant she would be able to leave that room of torment, Cissnei would take the chance.

"Fuck-off-who-ever-you-aaahhhh-HARDER!"

"As you wish…" The Silver General said. More skin-slapping sounds followed.

Cissnei curled up, knees to her chest, resigned to remain listening to the debaucheries in the room.

* * *

"Went to voice mail anyways…" Heidegger said.

"Can we at least go out for snacks? There's a vending machine just-"

"No Mr. Palmer. My orders are to keep you safe in here!"

"But!"

"No buts!"

"Now that you mention it, I'm kinda hungry too" Scarlet interjected.

"We were pulled here just before brunch" Palmer said.

"The hell's 'brunch?" Elena whispered to Freyra from behind.

"Today was toast day!" Heidegger lamented.

"I think we should listen to the agents here. After all-"

"Shut up Reeve!" they all yelled in unison. He shrunk on his seat

Freyra started to suspect that Tseng had sent them there as to not deal with these people himself. Given how he dreaded their meetings, it was no surprise.

"All right," the brunette started, "tell me what you want and I'll go fetch ONE item from the vending machine for each." After writing down what the board members wanted, Freyra walked to the door. She heard Elena gulp as she passed by.

* * *

"So? Now what?" Dante asked as the Turks rode the elevator.

"We each take one floor, evacuate as many people as possible" Rude said, adjusting his gloves.

"Wait? Are we splitting up?" the answer came in the form of Rude leaving the elevator

"We'll cover a lot more that way, yo."

"But what if we run into SOLDIERs?"

"Then you fire a couple of slugs, yo. Go to the lowermost floors and start there. We'll meet halfway up, yo." Reno left the elevator as he punched the "Lobby" button.

"Wait!"

"Turks always fulfill their mission, yo," he said with a grin and a thumbs-up as the doors locked. Dante gulped and rode the emergency-lit elevator to the Lobby. It was beyond his understanding how the elevator music was running at a time lithe this. As the lights were still out, he clipped a flashlight to a pocket in the front of his vest and walked to the store. A "closed" sign on the door told him that the evacuation instruction had been followed. Then, Dante heard a faint noise: something akin to scratching echoed lightly on the dimly lit room. The rookie removed the safety of his shotgun and walked silently to the source of the sound.

"What the-?"

"Hold it." The woman at the reception desk held a finger up in the air and kept on typing with her free hand.

"Ma'am, you need to evacuate the-"

"Hold it kid, this is really good." The noise had been the overdone nails of Celia the receptionist hitting the keys at a fast pace. As if to complicate things further, another woman entered through the main door and walked gingerly across the lobby.

"Wha- wait! Miss, you can't enter right now!"

"What? But I received an urgent message from a SOLDIER friend. He needed to see me right away," the girl said with a slightly confused tone.

"Keep it quiet you two," said the receptionist as she typed.

"What? No! You should be leaving too!" Dante turned to the girl in the white dress. "Ah, sorry, but we are currently evacuating the building."

"Evacuating? What on Gaia for?" the receptionist said.

"They are giving mako treatment for soldiers and-" Dante started.

"Odin, Shiva and Ramuh not again!" Celia stood up and started tossing stuff from her desk into her oversized handbag. "Girl, I'd recommend you keep away from any SOLDIER the following week!"

"What do you mean?" the girl asked.

"I know it is alluring, sweetie. Trust me I've been there: the idea of a big, muscular man running his large, calloused hands all over-"

"Ehem…" Dante interrupted.

"Sorry kid I was just-" she gasped noisily, "sweet Minerva forgive me! I just let those girls enter too! Sending them to the wolf's den to serve as a piece of pink meat!"

"What!? There are more civilians in the building!?" Dante asked alarmed.

"They said they had been called by Lieutenant Hewley so I let them in to the SOLDIER rooms and-"

"Oh! I have seen that man!" the girl interrupted, "he is a teacher of some sort to my friend!" She said happily.

"Well sweetie, if you want to leave walking I'd recommend you do so now." Celia picked up a plate with a slice of birthday cake from her desk and darted out of the complex, her handbag hanging open from her flexed elbow.

" _Well, at least she is gone now,"_ Dante though. "Now," he said as he turned to the girl, "as I was saying, it is better for you to leave."

"Ah. I see. Maybe some other time."

Dante looked the long, brunette braid of the girl swing over her back as she walked out of the building. He missed completely how the girl walked right and entered the stairs shaft to the left of the building.

The Turk decided that evacuating employees was more important than some girls looking for SOLDIER company. Not wanting to waste more time, Dante took the elevator up. As the door closed, a new message entered his PHS:

_Where u at? I want a piece of that ass!_

A malicious grin appeared on Dante's face. He pocketed his PHS as he wondered if he could, by any means, judge the girls sneaking into the building.

* * *

Tseng observed the power room in the basement: there were deep gashes in the door and surrounding walls.

" _It appears they brought their toys"_ Tseng thought. He knocked.

No response.

A loud noise in the other side of the hallway caught him of guard. The chief quickly aimed his shotgun at the source, but nothing came. His shotgun still aiming, Tseng reached for the handle at the door and tried pulling down: it was locked.

After making sure nothing was coming from either side of the dark tunnel, he turned and kicked the door hard near the lock. The metal door echoed loudly in the closed space but did not budge.

"Tsk." Of all the doors in the building, the one he needed open ASAP was precisely the one he could not open. Tseng looked around until he spotted the hatch of an air duct on the ceiling. Too high to jump and without anything to prop himself onto, the chief Turk started walking through the dark corridors. He knew very well that the idiot that designed the ventilation system of the building had made them large enough for an adult to crawl through. How had he insisted with the board of directors to fix such a flaw, but as usual, his security recommendations had been ignored. As he turned a corner, he ran into someone.

"Well, well. If it isn't the chief Turk."

The SOLDIER's eyes were glowing green and filled with a crazy look. Tseng raised his shotgun and aimed.

"Stand out of my way," he commanded.

"No can do, _sir_ ," the man said in a mocking tone. "The technician in the power room needs to get a piece of this first," he twirled the sword in his hand as if it were weightless. Until the immediate effects of the mako wore off, the SOLDIERs would be several times stronger.

"I do not care about your issues with-"

"I di nit ker ibit yir ishus with-" Tseng shot right in the middle of his eyes. The SOLDIER fell backwards, his sword echoing loudly on the floor.

"If only I could do that to my subordinates," he mused to himself.

Tseng walked around the unconscious man and headed to the bathroom door a few doors behind. He entered and lit his flashlight: above the last stall, he could see a hatch that led to the air ducts. He climbed on the toilet and pushed with the barrel of the shotgun. As he expected, it was not even screwed shut. With a jump, Tseng grabbed to the border and pulled himself up. Just as he was about to raise his lower body, he felt something grab his leg and pull him down. The chief fell down, leaving his shotgun inside the air duct above.

* * *

Reno escorted three more technicians to the stairs. They had been barricaded inside the materia-growing lab, unable to leave until some fusion machine stopped running. Most SOLDIERs were just being loud and obnoxious, but some others were downright aggressive. Given Reno's history with them, he was not taking any chances and shot any of them as soon as he spotted them. He knew that antagonizing them was probably not the best course of action, but he needed to see his mission through. He went next to a floor filled with cubicles.

"Anyone here, yo?"

No answer. Reno's flashlight began blinking.

"Ahw, shit. Not now, yo!" The redhead unclipped the device and began slapping its side until, against all logic -or at least, Reno's logic- it shut down completely. The Turk made an effort to see in the dim emergency lights but finally gave up. Reno began scouting the floor, looking for any sign of people.

"Reno."

"Nyeegh!" Reno turned and aimed at a familiar man with dark glasses.

"Sweet fucking Gaia! You scared the shit outta me Rude!"

"Sorry."

"Where's your shotgun, yo?"

"I lost it," Rude said blankly.

"Pfft. Tseng is not going to be happy about it, yo."

"There's people upstairs that need our help."

"What? Why didn't you say that before, yo? Let's go!"

Rude stood still for some seconds, then started walking to the stairs shaft. Reno trailed closely, assisted by his partner's flashlight.

Three floors above, Rude led Reno to a large area that the redhead hardly recognized as John's cafeteria: many of the emergency lights were not working, making it nearly impossible to see.

"Why is it so dark in…Wait a minute…" Reno then noticed that the lights were not off but had been destroyed: there were gashes running from either side of the wall and through the vertical fixtures.

"Hello Reno."

The redhead turned to see three SOLDIERs blocking the way to the door.

"Ahw shit! Rude-wha- what are you doing!?" Reno exclaimed when Rude grabbed him from behind. The redhead's struggles knocked his partner's glasses, but not long after, he was placed in one of Rude's famous arm-and-head locks from behind and pushed hard against the floor. The redhead attempted to set himself free to no avail.

"Well, well It seem we finally got our hands on our favorite Turk," one of the SOLDIERs he came closer, Reno noticed he was holding a glowing materia. From his position, Reno turned his gaze and got a glimpse of the faint green tint of the Manipulation spell in his partner's eyes.

* * *

The fourth round was noisily over at the same time Cissnei broke her own record at the Snake game of her PHS. _"Good Gaia, how long are they going to be at it?"_ The redhead though. As if to answer her on thoughts, the sound of light snoring filled the room.

Cissnei used the video camera of her PHS to assess the status of the two men: they were asleep as anyone that had gone through four "big O's" would have been. She removed her boots and stood up as quietly as possible. Not missing any chances, she snapped a quick picture or two: this was bound to be a best-selling issue. Cissnei tiptoed out of Sephiroth's room of torments (or pleasure, depending on who you asked) and out of the General's room. As soon as she entered the hallway, she noticed the lights were off.

Multiple messages entered her PHS at once: it seemed that Sephiroth's dungeon of perversions blocked out cellphone signal, besides inhibitions and good customs. Cissnei read he messages as she put her boots back on and grew increasingly alarmed at their escalating tone.

She dashed to the elevator and noticed that someone was climbing up. Not wanting to run into Angeal or Zack, the Turk ran to the stairs at the other side of the hallway. She hid for a moment behind the door and watched three pretty young women exit the elevator.

" _What the…?"_ she thought. Cissnei peeked ever so slightly to see where they were going. She saw them stop in front of Angeal's department and knock. The SOLDIER opened the door. In the dim light, Cissnei could see the unmistakable glow of recently-administered mako.

"Hello stud," one of them said in a lascivious tone. Angeal smiled wickedly and carried two girls over his shoulders while making out with the third one.

"Kyaaa!" one of them exclaimed as the door shut behind them.

"My, my. Values are being lost everywhere," Cissnei said ironically to herself. She took the elevator down to the office to collect her gear and meet with her partners. She missed a brunette girl in a white dress enter the floor through the stairs shaft and walk into Zack's apartment.

* * *

"That's it! I'm leaving this place!" Heidegger said as he rose from his seat.

"Sir! Please! It is not safe to go outside right now!" Elena retorted.

"Let him go," Scarlet said as she filed her nails, "I couldn't stand him any longer."

"But he wasn't saying anything," Palmer said.

"The fact that he _was_ here is enough," Scarlet answered as she blew the powder of her filed nails.

"This is absurd! We have been her more the better part of the last hour without information on the status outside!" President Shin-Ra said as he drummed his fingers on the polished table.

"We have been here for-" Elena checked her watch, "nine minutes!?"

"Nine? That can't be right!" Heidegger said.

"Don't sweat it darling, you know you can't count past five," Scarlet said as she shook a bottle of nail polish.

"Since we are already here, why don't we go through the construction budget for the last section of Midgar?"

"Shut up Reeve!" The other heads of department exclaimed.

Reeve rolled his eyes and went on sewing a cat plush doll on his lap.

" _Good Gaia, where are you Freyra!?"_ the blonde thought

* * *

Two floors down, Freyra emptied another shell on a SOLDIER that found her wandering alone. Since the power was out, she had to find a more secluded machine before breaking the front glass and taking the products. On the way back, she found herself face-first with another SOLDIER willing to thank her for the "promotion". Chastising herself mentally for her promiscuity with the desperate SOLDIERS, she walked back to the conference room and ran into Cissnei.

"Where the hell have you been!?" she asked.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know. Status?" the redhead asked.

Something banged inside a janitor's closet next to them. The Turks prepared their shotguns and closed in on the handle. As Freyra aimed, Cissnei opened the door in a swift motion: a SOLDIER operative (pants on his knees) had a secretary (skirt up to her waist) pinned against the wall.

"Kyaa!"

"Fucking hell! Do you mind!?" The SOLDIER said.

"All's going to hell, as you can see," Freyra said as she locked the door back, rolling her eyes. "We were assigned to guard the heads of department."

"We?"

"Elena and I, that is. The guys are evacuating people downstairs and the chief should be fixing the power."

"Well then. I think I'll go assist the Chief or Reno or-"

"You are just saying that because you don't want to deal with those idiots!"

"You don't say!"

Freyra grabbed her partner from the back of the vest and pushed her against her will all the way back to the office. When they arrived, they found that all of the heads of department and the president were asleep on the desk.

"What happe-"

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Freyra exclaimed.

"They were annoying, soooooo I put them to sleep," Elena said nonchalantly as she filled a line in her ubiquitous crossword puzzle magazine.

"And for that, I am thankful," said Reeve as he cut a piece of terry cloth for his cat plush.

"Hey, a seven-letter word for 'breach of trust'"

" _Treason,_ " the man said.

"You are good at this!" the blonde said as she filled the space.

"That makes two!" Freyra was positively alarmed "Elena! This could mean our asses on the line! It was bad enough after Veld and the Corel reactor fiasco!"

"Will you relax? _They_ sure are," she said with a grin, pointing the eraser of her pencil at the sleeping people. At that moment, Freyra's PHS began ringing.

"Chief, wha- who is this?" the dead serious tone of the brunette caught the attention of the other two women. "Sorry, we do not negotiate with terrorists. I do not care if you are a SOLDIER, attacking a superior officer in an unforgivable offense!"

Reeve chuckled while Elena dashed next to Freyra and took the PHS from her hand: "listen sicko, if you so much as touch a hair of my boss I'll personally put you in a body bag and feed you to the Zolom! Now name your terms!"

"What are you doing! Give that back!" Freyra said while Elena ran out of her reach.

"Very well, we'll be there!" the blonde hanged the phone.

"What did you do!?"

"Arranged an exchange, our boss for entry into the power room!"

"We really are not supposed to do this kind of trades; you know?" Cissnei said.

"It's not like we are going to go through it! I'll just put the guy to sleep and-" Elena began.

"You _know_ that the mako enhancements make the SOLDIERS resistant to magic for a while, right?" interjected Reeve as he threaded needle.

"… … … … Ah…" Elena said.

"Ugh! Fine! Fine!" Freyra turned to the Head of Development: "Chief Reeve, you take care of these guys while we go fix this up!" Freyra finally said in exasperation.

"They are already leaving," he said.

"We'll fix! Don't worry!" Elena said as she left the room.

"And I don't want to be here when they wake up!" Cissnei complemented as the door closed.

The brunette turned around and saw that her partners had somehow taken most of her weaponry. "Those bitches are going to be the death of me…" she finally said, resigned.

"Did you brought the cookies I asked for?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that my 20-word chapter premises tend to expand into multiple chapter insanities? Well, this is happening here! I should not have split the Turks in so many teams! :'V
> 
> This was supposed to be a one-chapter thing filled with PG-13 situations but it quickly escalated into, well, many things…
> 
> "But can't you just write a longer chapter to finish quickly?"
> 
> Shut up Reeve!
> 
> Anyways, I think (hope) the following chapter will wrap this up.
> 
> Also, I just read the official translation of the "On the way to a Smile" light novel. They used the alternate translation of Veld's name (Verdot), so I guess that one is cannon now.
> 
> I normally go back to check chapters (normally because I find spelling errors), but I don't change anything already written, except for this: I just modified a line in chapter 5. Near the end Reno said "after the Kalm accident", this was changed to "the Corel incident" to fit better into the cannon -not that much of this story fits cannon anyways.
> 
> In any case, I'd appreciate any feedback you can give me on the story so far. Suggestions and requests are welcome too!
> 
> Thank you for reading and see ya later!


	20. Of SOLDIERs and madness III

Tseng awoke in the hallway in front of the power room entrance tied with something that looked like electric wires. His shotgun lay not too far away on the floor: the drum had been detached and the shells lay scattered around it. As he moved, Tseng felt his head pulsating on one side and the small pulls of his skin whenever he moved revealed to him that there seemed to be a layer of dried blood next to his eyebrow.

"Hello again, Mr. Big-Shot-Turk."

Tseng saw the SOLDIER casually leaning against the wall in front of him. "Well, this is… Interesting. I take that assaulting a superior and interrupting official business of the Department of Administrative Research is of no concern to you."

"Department of _what_? Aren't you a Turk?"

"Yes, the Department of Administrative research _are_ the Turks!" Tseng said, tired of making that clarification for, what was it? Third time this week?

"Well, then we are on the right track! Your subordinates are coming here to save you in exchange for opening this door for me, and when that happens I'll take what belongs to me!"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but my agents know better than to negotiate with kidnappers," Tseng said in a tone that reflected a confidence that, deep down, he knew his agents didn't deserve.

"That's what that girl said before the overly emotional one arranged our exchange," the SOLDIER said with a cocky grin.

"The 'overly emotional one'?" Tseng said in a low voice, wondering to which one of his agents those adjectives applied. _Elena, definitely Elena,_ a voice said in the back of his head.

"In any case, they shouldn't take too long," the SOLDIER said.

"May I ask what exactly it is you are after?" Tseng asked.

"The man in the power room. He owes me something and I intend to take it. He knew the door would lock during a power outage, so he cut the energy to hide inside and called you to do his dirty work for him."

"Wait. The door to the power room actually _locks_ during a _power outage_?"

"I know right! The door you'd need to open the most is the one that locks!" the man said with and incredulous face while pointing at the door in question.

Tseng made a mental note to report such incoherence to Reeve. Not that the rest of the committee would listen anyways. For now, the chief Turk began planning how to proceed in this situation. And how to punish whosoever - _Elena_ \- had decided to negotiate with this jerk.

* * *

After evacuating more people for the next seven floors, Dante was beginning to feel tired. He had not run into particularly aggressive SOLDIERS: most had asked him to joint them at a game of poker or tried to lure him into a boxing match. One had approached him euphorically, bare-chested and asked the rookie to cast a lightning spell or shoot at him, just to see how much he could take while under the effects of the mako. He had declined all of them, mostly to keep out of harm's way, and in part, to keep the newcomer SOLDIERs from thinking that all Turks were jerks. Reno had caused enough damage to the relationships between both departments.

A new message arrived to his PHS, taking Dante out of his thoughts. For a change, this one wasn't one of Erick's increasingly explicit messages, but one from Reno:

" _Help me up at the cafeteria!"_

It had to be pretty hard if cocky Reno was requesting help. In any case he headed towards the elevator. Then, he received a phone call:

"Dante here."

" _Hey! Where are you!?"_ Elena's voice asked through the device.

"I'm heading to meet Reno at the cafeteria, he needs help there."

" _Good! We'll see you there! Wait for us!"_ She hanged right after.

"Ok then…"Dante said to the phone. He pressed the buttons of the elevator and began his way up. He had begun to understand why the Turks hated mako-injection day.

* * *

"So, why do we need him?" Cissnei asked.

"Dante has our only Time materia. I was thinking to do what he always does and cast a Haste spell on us to help overpower the SOLDIER and rescue Tseng," Elena said gleefully.

"That doesn't sound like it will work on its own…"

"Any suggestion? You always criticize but never offer alternatives!"

"Well, we could use the Barrier one to protect ourselves," Cissnei said while pulling the materia out of her shuriken.

"That's the spirit! That and then we use this!" Elena pointed to a green materia slotted on the side of Freyra's shotgun.

"Is that the Ultima materia!? Wait… How did you take Freyra's shotgun!?"

"With this!" Elena then showed a yellow materia in her glove: "Steal materia! All I had to do was lightly brush Freyra's shoulder and wham!" she began pulling the looted items from her suit pockets, "I got her weapon, materia, a couple of potions and what is-oooohhh! I hope she doesn't need it…" Elena said as she pulled a tampon.

"Hmm. No wonder she was so cranky." Cissnei said.

* * *

"So, why don't you quit?" Reeve asked.

"Because you don't just _leave_ the Turks! It is like an abusive relationship! You don't want to leave because you think it will get better, but deep down you know it is not as good as it once was!"

Reeve eyed the cathartic brunette curiously.

"That and we always joked about the fact that Tseng will probably take us to the back and shoot us before letting us go." Freyra popped another cookie from the envelope on the table. Reeve cut the thread of the now finished plush cat. Another masterpiece of craftsmanship. If only he could make them move somehow...

Scarlett began to stir in her sleep. Freyra watched carefully at the woman, whose usually pristine makeup now looked like that of a drag queen in the downswing of her career. She mumbled something, turned her head and proceeded to mess the other side of her mascara against her folded arms.

"How do you tolerate these people?" Freyra asked.

"Lots and lots of patience. Sometimes I think the Mayor is the only sane person here."

"The what?"

"You know, the Mayor of Midgar."

"There's a Mayor in Midgar!?"

"Well, yes. Mayor Caesar. He of course has no real power but…"

"Are you telling me that an important, high-ranking member of the government is somewhere here? Alone!?"

Reeve stopped to think for a moment. "Yes. I guess he is," he stated without any concern. "But as I said, he doesn't have any real power here."

"Power or not! We shouldn't have left him to his own devices! Where is he!?"

"Mostly at his office in floor 69, but-"

Freyra was walking to the door already, then she remembered that somehow, Cissnei and Elena (and she was leaning more against Elena) had taken her equipment. She walked around the table towards Heidegger and patted his suit: he was not carrying a weapon. Freyra let a resigned sight. She pondered her options carefully: on one side, she would risk her own neck for someone she had just learned existed, risking to run into one of her suitors trying to "return the favor". On the other… She made an effort to find a positive side to walking out unarmed. She found none.

"Well, to hell with it all!" she finally said. She reached for Elena's abandoned crossword puzzle magazine and began reading.

" _Lack of interest or concern_ , six letters."

"Apathy"

Freyra wrote the answer.

* * *

Dante arrived at the dark cafeteria, feeling increasingly uncomfortable: he felt something was not right. There was a strange silhouette near the center of the room, so he turned his flashlight on.

"Reno! What the hell!?" Dante said to the redhead, who was tied to a chair.

"Bfffnd fu!"

"This is not the time for your sexual deviations" Dante said as he moved to remove the silver piece of tape covering his partner's mouth. He ripped it in one swift motion.

"Ouch! You idiot! Behind you, yo! He's trying to-"

Dante turned around just in time to half-block a roundhouse kick. The force pushed him to the side and he tripped over an overturned table. Falling hard on his back, Dante aimed and saw…

"Rude, what are you-?"

The bald Turk reached for his partner and grabbed a fistful of the upper part of his protective vest. Almost effortlessly, Rude picked Dante up and smashed him against a table, the pain making his arm let go of the shotgun. Rude raised his fist and prepared to punch.

"Rude! What are you doing!" Cissnei's scream came from the door.

Rude hit hard against Dante's cheek.

"He's being Manipulated, yo!" Reno yelled from his confined position, making the chair he was tied to wobble sideways.

Another hit.

"Manipulated?" Cissnei asked.

Another hit.

"By whom!?" Elena said, looking around.

Dante was thrown across the room.

"Can you cut the stupid questions and help me!? Nghaa!" Dante rolled away from Rude's incoming grasping hand.

At that moment, a fireball erupted from behind the counter, flew across the room and disintegrated on the wall behind Elena and Cissnei, who dodged at the last moment. Two SOLDIERs emerged from behind the counter and dashed towards the Turks.

"Looks like we'll be having a party!"

"I'm calling dibs on the blonde!" said one of them at the moment he performed a long jump across the room and landed right in front of Elena, who in turn, raised her shotgun and fired three times in succession. None hit the target.

"Can't you aim, for fuck's sake-argh!?" Reno yelled while wriggling sideways on the chair, which made him fall on his side.

The other SOLDIER had made his way towards Cissnei, who quickly cast an Ice spell from her shuriken: the floor froze around her and just as the incoming enemy was about to reach her, he slipped and slid across the room and through the drywall –and judging from the sound, through the following three walls too. Cissnei then aimed her weapon at Reno.

"Wait! What are you doing yo!?"

"Don't you move!" The shuriken flew in an arc and cut into the ropes, releasing Reno.

"Cissnei! You could've stabbed me!" the redhead said as he set himself free of the bindings.

"Quit yapping and help Dante!" Cissnei said as she dashed towards Elena, who was being overpowered by the SOLDIER.

Dante was rolling and dodging across the fallen tables and chairs, countering when possible but without retaliating, as the rookie was afraid of harming his partner. Behind the counter, he could see a third SOLDIER holding a glowing materia: Reno was fighting the man in an attempt to distract him long enough to lose focus of the Manipulation spell, but the SOLDIER was simply dodging his attacks and retreating out of the redhead's EMR's reach.

Dante then saw his shotgun, a few meters away from him: in one swift motion he rolled and grabbed the weapon, but before he could turn around, Rude had placed him in a choke hold. Instead of pushing Dante against the floor, however, his partner straightened his body and lifted the rookie a foot from the floor. Dante tried to cast with the materia in his glove to no avail: the lack of oxygen was making it impossible to focus on his spell.

"Let go of him!"

Someone tackled them both to the ground with enough force to move them a couple of meters from where Rude had been standing. Gasping for air Dante turned around and saw Erick exchanging blows with Rude.

"Nobody chokes him but me! And _only_ if he asks to!"

Now with a clear head –and a red face- Dante aimed a gravity spell at Rude, whom was pulled from the floor and smashed hard against the ceiling before falling to the ground.

"Hey! Dante! Are you OK?" Erick said, kneeling next to Dante.

"I'm fine," the rookie answered between coughs. He then readied a Stop spell and cast towards the SOLDIER with the Manipulate materia: although the spell hit its mark, it lasted less than a second. It was all Reno needed to hit him hard on the head. He collapsed on the floor with a bloody gash near his eyebrow.

"Renoooo!" the SOLDIER that had gone through the wall yelled as he lunged towards the redhead. He grabbed the lapels of his suit and yelled at his face: "where do you think you are going!? We are not done with you and your friends!"

"May I ask _what_ it was Reno did to have you all pissed at us!?" Elena asked while sustaining a Barrier spell between her and the other SOLDIER.

"It was an accident, yo!"

"Bullshit! You did it on purpose!" the SOLDIER exclaimed as he pushed Reno against the counter.

"Put him down!" Dante said as he aimed his shotgun at the SOLDIER.

"Tell them Reno! Tell them what you did! Tell your friends why they are suffering all this!"

"Come on man! This is crazy!" Erick yelled from behind Dante.

"You shut up! It was bad enough when you started fucking that Turk-!"

A red-faced Dante shot him in the face, the rubber slug ricocheted on and landed halfway across the room. The SOLDIER turned around with an even wilder look on his mako-infused eyes and his nose covered in blood.

"Who the fuck do you think you are!? Just because you are his fuckbuddy-!"

Dante fired several rounds in succession. It may have been the anger or the desire to shut that jerk up, but all of the rounds were headshots. The SOLDIER let go of Reno and fell unconscious on the floor.

"Patrick!" the last SOLDIER yelled. Using the distraction, Cissnei took her shuriken and stabbed the foot of the man all the way through, effectively nailing him to the floor. Everyone stood there panting for a moment as the battle seemed to be over. As if on cue, the electricity returned to the building and the lights turned back on.

Cissnei then walked to Reno and to everyone's surprise, the woman grabbed her partner by the ponytail and dragged him towards the immobilized SOLDIER.

"Apologize!"

"What!? No! I did nothing wrong, yo!"

"Oh, that is bullshit! Nobody goes to these lengths for nothing!" Cissnei said while pointing at the thrashed cafeteria.

"It was a fucking accident, yo!"

"He threw a soda can at us!" the now-conscious Manipulate-materia-SOLDIER yelled from the floor.

"I spilled it by accident, yo! Tripped while leaving the elevator!"

The Turks and Erick alternated their gaze between Reno and the other man.

"So _that's_ why they throw soda cans at us when we go to the SOLDIER floor," Dante said in realization.

"You have to be shitting us! That's all!?" Elena yelled.

"Well, no! He didn't even apologize!"

"Turks never apologize, yo!"

"Odin's balls! All this time I thought Reno had fingered someone's girlfriend or let some monster loose in the showers or, or… Served someone decaf! But _that_!?" Cissnei said.

"He insulted us! And you will all pay for that!" the SOLDIER said as he aimed a spell at Dante.

"No you don't!" Elena yelled from the other side of the room as she cast the Ultima magic slotted on the shotgun in her hands.

Dante barely registered what happened next: a green blinding light flooded the room and a sound between wind and lighting could be heard. The force of the spell shook the entire floor and knocked down any chair or table that was still standing; the windows cracked and the ceiling tiles we pushed upwards and out of their place. He felt himself embraced protectively by Erick, who used his own body to shield the Turk from any falling debris. Then, just as unexpectedly, the entire floor cracked and collapsed downward.

* * *

Freyra stopped writing on the puzzle magazine when she heard a rumbling sound and felt the building shake. Reeve looked at her inquisitively.

"I'm unarmed, can't leave the room," she said dismissively as she ate a chip.

The newly-restored lights flickered for moment. Reeve looked with urgency at the Turk.

"Ugh! Fine!" The Turk opened a broom closet on the back of the room and poked her head in. "There must be something here I can use as a weapon."

* * *

"Well… Shit," said Elena when she saw the hole that had opened on the floor and swallowed everything on in.

"So _that's_ why you don't cast explosions in closed rooms!" Cissnei said.

"Told you those were the best ones," a now-conscious Rude said while pulling a new pair of sunglasses from his suit and putting them on.

"Rude! Reno! You are OK!?" Elena yelled from the other side of the hole.

"Yup! But It think the kid and his pal fell down, yo!"

Elena and Cissnei peeked down: the hole seemed to go at least for two floors.

Below, Dante coughed at the dust floating in the air. Tried to raise his body, only to find it pinned to the floor by Erick's own.

"Shit! Hey, are you OK!?" Dante tried to set himself free from the SOLDIERs arms only to find himself crushed by a stronger embrace. "Ugghh- I take you are OK."

"It will take more than that to hurt me," Erick said with a grin, "and not a scratch! Mako infusions are great!"

"Easy for you to say when you are not cleaning the mess up… Hey… Are you… Humping me!?"

"Just a bit."

"Get off! I'm still on the clock!" Dante tried to wiggle himself free.

"Come on! Just a quickie before you go on!" Erick nibbled at his companion's ear.

"Come on! Give me a break!" another voice said. They both turned and saw Patrick, half his face painfully swollen by Dante's slugs.

"Come to think of it… How does he know about-?" Dante began.

"You being his boy-toy? Pfft. Come on!" the SOLDIER retorted.

"I mean… It was pretty obvious!" Elena's voice came from above them.

"That and well, I saw him sneaking out every morning. We do live in the same floor; you know?" Cissnei said from above.

"I think Rude was charged with following you two on your days off, yo."

"Called it!" Cissnei said.

"Hello! I still need to get my revenge!" Patrick interrupted.

"Ugh! Shut up already!" Dante shot him at point-blank again. The SOLDIER fell unconscious, hopefully for good this time. A stream of liquid started falling from the top of the hole: Reno was pouring a soda can on top of Patrick.

"So, what now?" Dante asked once Reno and Rude had helped him and Erick out of the hole with a makeshift rope from a fire hose.

"Ahh! Right! We are supposed to be saving Tseng!" Elena said, hitting her palm with the side of her fist in realization.

"What? What happened to the chief, yo?"

"He is being held hostage by another SOLDIER with a grudge," Cissnei said, not an ounce of concern in her tone.

"And why are you here and not helping him!?" Dante asked.

"Ah… Why did we come here Ciss?" Elena asked.

"The materia."

"Ah right! We need the Time materia. If we use Haste we may overpower that guy."

"That sounds too simple for it to work on its own," Dante said as he pulled the materia from the slot on his glove.

"Told you so," Cissnei said in a hushed tone.

"Whatever! Let's go save Tseng!"

"Save me from what? Exactly?"

"Chief!" the Turks said in unison.

Tseng walked in, disheveled and with half of a sleeve missing from his suit, but otherwise, unharmed.

"How did you-?" Elena began

"Never mind that! You will be Palmer's bodyguard for a month!" Tseng said at the blonde.

"What!? Why!?" she whined.

"Let's see: abandoning your post, leaving your partner unarmed, assaulting the board of directors and neglecting the protection of the Mayor! I hope Freyra managed to reach him."

"What Mayor?" Dante asked Cissnei and Reno quietly.

"Dunno, yo."

"No idea"

"The mayor of Midgar, of course" a new voice said behind Tseng.

They all turned to see a blonde woman with neck-long hair enter the room.

"Emma! What are _you_ doing here!?" Elena asked in shock.

"Well, I decided that my vacations had lasted long enough," she said with a friendly smile.

"They were not vacations! You were on forced leave! You shot dad!" Elena retorted.

"Do NOT mention that man!" Emma yelled while smashing fist right though the drywall. That and the two-floor-deep hole on the floor made Dante wonder seriously about the structural integrity of the building.

"All right! All right! I won't! But are you sure you can, you know… Work?"

"How rude, sis! I show up, practically _deus-ex_ you all out of a tight spot and all you do is bicker about having your old partner back!" She said in a false-pained tone. The Turks stood in silence, trying to figure out how exactly she had helped "everyone".

As the building had been evacuated and the electricity restored, the Turks headed back to their office. Erick was left to deal with the other SOLDIERs on the cafeteria, so Dante excused himself and left with his partners; just before he left, Erick gave a not-so-subtle hand gesture -a combination of pointing and OK- and winked to the Turk.

Emma was quick to catch on with her partners on the way back. Subjects ranging from missions to whether Heidegger and Scarlett had begun dating each other were rife between Emma and Reno. Finally, she seemed to notice Dante and asked:

"And who are you?"

"Dante. Agent in training. I joined a few months back," the rookie introduced himself.

"So you must have taken over Elena's coffee duty, then," she said with a smile.

"I guess I did." At least she didn't know about the arson. _Yet_. He could only trust Reno to keep his mouth shut for so long.

After the Turks reached the office, Emma walked with Tseng to his office while Dante and Elena cleared one of the desks so that the returning member could use.

"She seems… Nice," Dante began.

"Don't be fooled! She is as crazy as they come," was Elena's answer, as she stored a pile of binders in a filer cabinet.

"In short, it runs in the family, yo," Reno said with a grin.

At that moment, Freyra entered the room, carrying a mop over her shoulder. It seemed to be stained with blood

"Bad news guys: The Mayor was found dead. Good news is that Domino, the head of the cleaning staff, was just promoted!"

"Nobody deserved it more than him," Rude said as he packed everyone's protective vests in a metal box. Dante was about to comment on the absurdity that a janitor was promoted to Mayor, but refrained when he recalled the weirdos that ran the place.

"By the way, Emma's back," Cissnei said while she repackaged the pepper sprays in their boxes.

"Really!? Where is she? It will sure be nice to have someone with common sense around. Which reminds me…" She promptly smashed the mop over Elena's shoulder, splitting it in half.

"OUCH! What the hell!?"

"Don't EVER touch my shotgun again!"

The brunette then grabbed her weapon from her partner's desk, walked to her own and began disassembling and cleaning the artifact with a maternal dedication.

It was well past midnight when reports, paperwork and complains had been dealt with. On the way back to their respective housing floors, Emma suddenly asked Cissnei and Freyra:

"Do you think I'll be allowed to visit her at this hour?"

"Probably not, your reinstallment is not ready yet. It will be best to leave it for tomorrow," Freyra said.

"Besides, it's not like she is going anyw-" Reno began, but Cissnei promptly slapped him on the back of the head.

* * *

Dante found Erick sitting in front of his door next to a large bag with take-out food. He was tracing strange patterns idly on his leg.

"Hello. I'd thought you would be cleaning things up."

"Nah, Patrick and the other two were left to clean the wreck of the cafeteria," he said as he stood up. Dante opened the door to his room.

"It seems whosoever had your chief cornered is facing a court martial. Well, when he leaves the hospital. They really did a number on him!"

"Huh… Another reason to keep away from Emma."

Dante offered a soda can to Erick. As the SOLDIER grabbed it, the seal at the top exploded and spilled the sticky contents everywhere.

"Sorry! Sorry! The second part of the mako is kicking in! I'm having trouble holding stuff without breaking it!" he reached for a cloth and started wiping the kitchenette.

"Don't sweat it, I'm not about to hold a grudge over a soda can. It's not like I'm a SOLDIER!" Dante said with a grin.

"Why you…!" Erick started tickling Dante. The Turk was knocked to the floor and trashed on the floor at the assault. After a good laugh, Dante began:

"Thanks again."

"What for?"

"Holding me during the explosion. This is the second time you have to save my ass."

"Any time," Erick said with a warm smile. He then kissed Dante's forehead. "Speaking of ass…"

Erick picked Dante up over his shoulder and dashed to the Turk's bedroom.

* * *

"Aerith… Don't do that..." Zack pleaded.

"Now, now… How do we say?"

"Just this time… Let me finish first…" he said, a single drop of sweat rolling down his cheek.

"I'm not sure. It is more fun this way."

"P-please! I'm begging you! Don't-!" She moved just one finger and Zack gasped sharply in response.

He could feel it coming. There was no escape. She smiled wickedly at the SOLDIER's response: she could see him tense up. Zack closed his eyes, held his breath and prepared.

A spiny, winged blue shell exploded against Zack's racing avatar not too far from the finish line, Aerith's overtook him and crossed first.

"Yes!" she exclaimed triumphantly. "That's sixteen out of sixteen!"

"I want a rematch!" Zack demanded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done! This took a bit longer than expected, but here you have it! Longest chapter so far, too!
> 
> New character introduced and Aerith makes her cameo!
> 
> Also, I just noticed there is a HUGE continuity error in the last chapter, but I won't fix it. Yet… I think we'll do a little competition: whosoever finds it first will win a chance to ask me to write anything in this story (or if I can't make it here, on a separate work).
> 
> First one to comment below what the error is wins! I'll update the chapter on December 31st to fix the mistake. Let's see who has the sharpest eyes!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Leave me your comments and suggestions ;)


	21. Paparazzi

Emma and Elena were the first to enter the medical wing of the Shin-Ra building that day. The older sister was carrying a small bouquet of yellow lilies in her hand. They had left earlier in the morning looking for a flower shop and much to Emma's dismay, her sister led her directly to a girl in a white dress not too far from the Loveless theater, a few blocks from the company building.

"Her!? Of all people!?" Emma whispered.

"Well, you wanted flowers and she _does_ sell them, you know?"

"She is a person of interest! We are supposed to watch her _without_ being noticed!"

"Hi Elena!" the flower girl waved from the other side of the street.

"Hi! How you doing?" Elena answered merrily.

"You know, business as usual. Came to try to recruit me for the company again?" she mused while arranging a group of flowers from her basket.

"What! No! Not at all! Why would you-!? No!" Emma stuttered nervously.

"Nah. We are off the clock now, we just want flowers," Elena said reassuringly.

The flower girl chuckled and made them a small bouquet. She overcharged them 50 Gil for it, just because they worked for _The company_ , but the Turks paid nonetheless.

"Say hi to Mr. Tseng for me!" the brunette said as she waved them good-bye.

"So... Since when does she know we watch her?" Emma asked as they made their way back to HQ.

"It all started with Rude: he is not precisely inconspicuous. After she noticed him she would instantly find whichever Turk was sent to watch over her. It is almost magical. Like a sixth sense that told her exactly who to look for in the crowd so that-"

"You didn't bother to get out of the zip-up blazer, didn't you?"

"Nope!"

After signing the visitor's log, Emma and Elena entered the ICU of the hospital wing. They walked through the hallway until they reached the very last room. The dimmed lights and lack of windows made it seem like it was perpetually dusk. Emma tossed the old flowers on the bin and placed the new ones on the little vase on the table.

"Nothing so far?" she asked Elena.

"Nothing."

They stood in silence, with nothing but the beeping monitor and breathing assistance to accompany their minds.

* * *

Another mug broke and fell in pieces, spilling its contents on top of the counter.

"Oh shit! Sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Don't worry, just… Stop touching stuff!" Dante said to Erick as he collected the pieces.

The SOLDIER was having trouble adjusting to his newfound strength after the mako injections the day prior and everything in Dante's apartment, from the mirror in the bathroom, to the shower curtain to the now-decreasing numbers of mugs, was a testament to that.

"Gaia… How long until this passes?" Dante asked.

"They gave me a pamphlet, it's on my pants," Erick said, looking mortified. He then reached for the washcloth hanging from the handle of the cupboard. The washcloth came down in Erick's fist along with the door. "I'm sorry!"

Dante sighted while reaching for his partner's pants, carelessly lying on the floor near the bedroom door. From one of the pockets, he pulled a folded sheet, opened it and read the green title:

_Mako injections_

_What to expect when you are mako-eing._

"Who wrote this?" said Dante with a raised eyebrow, as he cringed at the ugly font of the text.

"I guess someone from the Science Division. They should leave that to PR," Erick said without looking back, as he was trying to insert the door's screws back into their place. Unfortunately, he only managed to push a hole right through the cabinet side.

Dante went on reading:

_On the following hours after administration, you will be several times stronger and will heal faster. It is advised not to take unnecessary risks._

_Other side effects include, but are not limited to: poor control of impulses; speech impairment; intrusive thoughts; recollection of previously blocked memories and increased sex drive, urge to gamble, competitiveness, risk-taking behavior and general bloodthirst._

_It is strongly suggested you keep away from casinos, brothels, gyms, martial arts rings and loved ones in general._

A long disclaimer that exempted the Shin-Ra company and all of its affiliates from damage claims followed.

"What the-? They inject you with this-stop fondling my butt!"

"Sorry! I can't help it!" Erick exclaimed while hastily pulling his hands out of Dante's pants: at the end of the fast motion, he punched a hole through the drywall.

"What the-!? How is it you did not break my arm or something last night!?"

"Lots of self-restraint. And I may have cast Cure a couple times," Erick whispered in the end. He was glad the first thing he broke in the morning was the bathroom mirror: it would keep the Turk from noticing the numerous bruises on his body. Dante went on reading.

"Well, this explains why everybody was playing video games or cards or whatever and why they were being reckless and murderous, but it says nothing about the duration of side effects."

"Well, if it goes like the last dose, it will take me a couple of days to get used to the strength and speed."

"Can't help but wonder the damages to the training equipment."

"Oh no, we are off-duty for the following three days!"

"What?"

"Yeah. Do you think the company will let us trash the place?"

Dante raised an eyebrow that tacitly reminded his glowy-eyed partner about the cafeteria.

"Well, _that_ was not supposed to happen. And they are already fixing it, so John will not end up unemployed." Erick said dismissively. "Anyways, I have to report in three days to get my new uniform and equipment, so until then," he pinned Dante against the wall and planted him a rough, deep kiss, "we have looooots of free time."

"I have work to do."

"What!? No! Call in sick! I need you around to… You know…" he made gestures with his shiny blue eyes towards the bedroom door.

"I'm starting to suspect Patrick was right and I really am just your fuckbuddy after all," the Turk said in false pain.

"What? No! I mean-don't change the subject! Are you going to keep me hidden in your department? With nothing to do!?"

"You can water the fern," Dante said, pointing to the corner at the plant born from a propagule stolen by Cissnei.

"OR! I can be with you all day long!" The SOLDIER pointed at Dante with both hands at the same time.

"What!? No!"

"Yeah! That way I can keep you company and see what you do in that office!" He said as he dashed to the bedroom and returned wearing a blue hoodie with the SOLDIER logo on it.

"And I'm telling you, we handle sensitive information! Tseng will never let me have an outsider in the office!"

* * *

"What do you mean 'no coffee'?"

"Well, the cafeteria was destroyed just yesterday, Sir."

"Ah, true… … And what is the SOLDIER doing in the office?"

"Ah, you see chief, he… Er…"

"Has a free day and decided to drop by as to not bore his ass off _all alone_ in his department," Erick interjected.

"Whatever, just don't break anything," Tseng waved dismissively as he walked to his office, the lack of caffeine noticeable.

"You have to be shitting me!" Dante said in a hushed tone as his boss closed the frosted glass door.

"Office dwellers will just agree when deprived of coffee," Erick said with a grin. He then began shuffling the items on top of Reno's desk, promptly snapped a pencil in half and quickly concealed it in the drawer before Dante could notice. Elena and Emma entered the door-less office next.

"What did you said happened to the door?"

"Axe maniac. Oh! Look at this: Dante, get me some coffee!" the younger sister declared.

"No can do. The cafeteria is busted."

Emma laughed. "Too bad, sis. I'll have to wait to see 'the many benefits that came with not being last in command' you were swanking about."

"Not fair! Stupid SOLDIERS destroying the place," Elena mumbled to herself while taking out a pen and her crossword puzzle magazine.

"Well, if I recall correctly, they only damaged a couple of chairs and the lights. You on the other hand, destroyed the floor with the Ultima spell," Dante reminded her.

"Good point!" Erick added from Reno's desk.

"What is he doing here?" Elena asked while pointing at their guest with her pen.

"Claimed sanctuary," Dante said without looking at him.

"In our office?"

"Wait. He _is_ a SOLDIER," Emma stated, noticing the glowing eyes.

"Yeah, so? He's cool, he helped us yesterday," Elena said, filling a blank.

"There's still a lot of mako in his system! He's dangerous to keep around!"

"You talk about him as if he were a stray pit-bull…"

"…or not around," Erick whispered. Dante chuckled.

The morning proceeded quietly as the rest of the Turks arrived. None seemed to mind that Erick was there, although Elena and Freyra did take advantage of his presence by making him move some filers without the hassle of having to empty them first. Reno then arranged an arm-wrestling match between Erick and Rude, just to see what would happen. Emma then pulled a dartboard and the entire office began a contest to see who would get the last of the Mideel Rum sent to the office a few days prior. They sent Dante to get some coffee cans, helped Elena think of a three-letter synonym word for "mole" and knocked Veld unconscious when he had another panic attack.

That sort of peace, at least in the Turks office, was too good to last.

It all began when Cissnei received a yellow envelope from the Shin-Ra Press, a subsidiary that printed every newspaper and magazine in existence, along with anything the company required.

"What you got there, yo?"

Cissnei's eyes, trained to reveal nothing, faltered for a split second: they moved ever so slightly towards the envelope wrapped securely in her arms before she answered quickly: "nothing."

All the Turks lifted their heads, which made Erick look around nervously.

"Just some prints I requested." Cissnei said.

"That is buuuuuuuull-shit," Reno said with a grin.

"He is right." Freyra started, "you are a _good_ liar. You stuttered for a moment. You don't stutter. Unless..."

"You are hiding something!" Elena interjected.

"You have something you don't want us seeing in there," Emma said while walking sideways towards the door frame, blocking the exit.

"So what? We all have secrets."

"Not between us," Rude broke his silence as he slowly slid his hand into his combat gloves.

Cissnei was now creasing the yellow envelope. Dante and Reno had walked around their desks and along with Freyra, were closing on Cissnei like hungry wolves.

"What are you all doing?" Erick asked in a panicked tone. As if some undisclosed spell was lifted, everyone stood straight and loosened their body stance.

"Maybe we are reading too much into this," Emma said as she and her partners walked back to their desks.

"It's probably nothing, yo."

"We are being paranoid," Rude removed his gloves.

"This is what-NOW!" at Freyra's command, she, Reno and Dante lunged forward from behind their desks, Rude tossed a folder filled with papers towards the brunette, Emma rolled over her desk and across the office to block the exit again and Elena cast something from the bracer of her glove.

Cissnei back-flipped over her desk and then kicked it towards Rude, then cast Ice from her shuriken (pulled from within her blazer) towards Freyra, stopping her. She engaged briefly with Reno before twisting his arm painfully to use him as a human shield for Elena's spell, then kicked him towards Rude. Cissnei dodged Dante's elbow strike, making the rookie loose balance and trip against her desk chair. With a somersault, she landed on the center of the office and dashed towards the exit, but then her legs got caught in something that made her trip and fall face-first.

"Wha-! Who left that mop there!?"

"Never underestimate The Mop!" Freyra declared triumphantly while removing the ice shards from her face and arms.

"What are you doing out there!?" Tseng's irritated, muffled voice came from the other side of his door.

Emma the ducked to pick up the envelope and tore it open. "Place your bets!"

"A dirty magazine!" was an unexpectedly unanimous answer.

Emma pulled out a set of spiral-bound pages. "Wow, we really do know Ci-what the hell!? This is Reno!"

"WHAT!?" the redhead untangled himself from Rude and half-ran, half-tripped towards the blonde.

The cover of the newest number of Shin-Ra's Cadets Exposed monthly magazine ('now with extra centerfolds!') indeed depicted Reno, happily running through the building's halls. He would have been naked if it were not for the cardboard box over his privates.

"'The Turk with fiery hair: does it match the carpet? Find out on page 25!'!" Freyra read from the cover title.

"Ciss! What the-stop reading, yo!"

Reno reached to take the magazine from Elena, who was whipping through the pages in search for the article. She jumped over her desk and out of the redhead's reach. Before he could catch her, she ran to the back of the office and turned the magazine sideways.

"Well. I guess we'll never know if it matches. Why would you shave it all?"

Right behind her, the frosted glass door swung open.

"Dante, can you get a new can of-" Tseng saw over Elena's shoulder the magazine she had widespread on her hands. He crushed the empty can on his hand.

"Chief! It's not what it looks like!" Reno said nervously.

"Enlighten me then Reno, because it looks like you are _very_ naked in this photo, _inside_ the company building, _two days_ from your meeting with Human Resources!"

"It was Cissnei!" he pointed at the brunette.

"It has sold 5394 copies in advance. Since it features a member of our department, part of the profits will go to our operative budget, which has increased 273% for the rest of the year, Sir," Cissnei explained in a monotone voice that sounded more like a mission report.

"Two-hundred and-! No! Wait! This is NOT how I want my department getting extra funding!"

"We will only manufacture the pre-ordered copies and print a limited run that I will sell on the black market at several times the face value, as it will be a rare, collectible item," she now had a wicked, shark-like smile on her face.

"It is my dick you are profiting with, yo!"

"And your butt, too!" Elena pointed out; Freyra and Emma were now behind her, looking with keen interest at the photos.

"Nevertheless! If word gets out that one of my subordinates has posed nude for a magazine…"

"We can expect earnings in the quarter-of-a-million Gil range."

Tseng's concerns shattered at the mention of the number. A smug smile spread across his face: "on the other hand…"

"What!"

"It is in your contracts. I think. How do we proceed Cissnei?" Tseng asked.

"I have to take this test print downstairs to approve it. They will manufacture them and by the end of the week we'll be rich."

"See that it's done."

"Chief!"

"Seems like you'll have to take one for the team, partner," Rude patted Reno's back.

"We'll bring food to your department until the embarrassment passes and you are free to roam the building again," Dante said while reaching under his desk for another coffee can for Tseng.

"Hold a minute!" Emma said. They all turned at the blonde, who was alternating her gaze between the test print and Dante. "You are here too!"

Dante let the can slip from his hand and crash on top of his desk. "What!?"

"Not you! Him!" Elena pointed right behind the rookie. Dante turned to see Erick sporting a shocked face. His ears turned red.

Dante practically tossed the can to Tseng -who caught it with one hand an inch before his face- and crawled over his desk to reach for the forbidden print.

"No! Wait! It's not what you think!" Erick reached for the back of Dante's blazer and started pulling him back, throwing every single item on the desk to the floor, in any other situation they would have enjoyed the roughhousing, but right now, they had other things in mind.

"Ahh yes! I misplaced the memory card of your photoshoot and found it again just recently," Cissnei elaborated.

"Why were you photographing my boyfriend!?" Dante was still trying to break free from Erick's grasp. The newly enhanced strength made it impossible now.

"She said that she would recommend me during the next examinations!"

"Ah, the old ' _quid porn quo_ '," Rude said.

"All right! Drop that thing and give it to me or so help me, yo!" Reno was holding a red materia in his hand. Tseng spit the coffee he had in his mouth.

"Now Reno, don't do something rash," Emma said in a calm, steady voice.

"No shit! I'm not letting you publish that magazine, yo!"

"I'm with him!" Erick let go of Dante (who fell from his desk to the floor) and dashed behind Reno. "Look, I did it because I wanted to get in SOLDIER, and it was fine when I was just another faceless trooper, but now I was just promoted to 2nd Class! I don't want people in my unit seeing those!"

"Again. What is he doing here?" Elena asked, pointing at Erick.

"People! Calm down!" Tseng yelled above the commotion, "as you are no doubt aware, the Shin-Ra company has absolute rights over-"

"Fuck that!" The materia in Reno's hand began glowing more intensely. And then nothing at all. "What the-!?"

"Ha! Cissnei blocked my Silence spell with your body Reno!" Elena mused.

"And we are about to use it to cover our operative budget, too! Cissnei, go!" Freyra yelled while pulling her shotgun from behind her chair and aiming at Reno.

At the brunette's command, Cissnei dashed towards the door with the test print in one hand.

"Rude! Dante! Stop her!" Reno yelled while engaging Freyra as Erick held Emma and Tseng back.

Dante rushed behind Cissnei, only to be blocked by Elena.

"Sorry kid, but my paycheck can't take any more 'damages discounts'!"

"Get Cissnei!" Rude exclaimed before launching himself against Elena, who only managed to emit a high-pitched "eek" before disappearing under the massive body of her partner.

Dante rushed out of the office, feeling Freyra's rubber slugs cut the air millimeters next to his shoulder. He managed to enter the hallway in time to see Cissnei turn in a corner, so he dashed behind her towards the elevators. There, Dante saw his partner pressing desperately the elevator button. Cissnei turned just as she heard his footsteps and threw her shuriken at him. Dante let his knees bend and fell down, dodging the weapon at the last possible moment. As he rose back to his feet, the elevator door opened, revealing a couple of infantryman o guard duty.

"Help! He is trying to steal classified data!" Cissnei pleaded in her most dramatic imitation of Elena's voice.

At her command, the troopers dashed out of the elevator and adopted a battle formation in front of the elevator, allowing Cissnei to enter and escape.

"Shit!" Dante cursed as he cast a spell of his own: the black sphere appeared on top of the infantrymen and started pulling them off the floor towards it.

"Not this crap again!" one managed to say before being pulled forcefully and smashed against his partner, along with a flowerpot, a fire extinguisher and a trash bin that were nearby. "Uuaagh!" was all the troopers managed to say before falling to the ground over a mess of broken clay, soil and trash. Dante jumped over the troopers and reached the elevator door: he had started to force it open when a fireball exploded on the wall next to him.

"Stay where you are!" Emma ordered.

"Come on! You seriously can't be doing this for extra budget!"

"Of course not! I just want to see Reno's reputation burn!" she started laughing maniacally as fireball after fireball was cast at the rookie.

" _So, it does run in the family"_ Dante thought as the dodged and slammed his shoulder against the push lock to the emergency stairs. Unfortunately, he lost his balance after the door opened and he fell the first flight of steps downward. He incorporated himself shakily, inhaling sharply as a deep pain erupted from his right ankle.

"Sorry kid, nothing personal," she went on casting Fire from the edge of the first step.

"Leave him alone!" Erick appeared from behind Emma and held her from behind, stopping her fiery magic. Soon after, Freyra entered through the door.

"Get off her!" the brunette jumped on the SOLDIER's back and started crushing his neck with her arms.

"Stop this madness!" a disheveled Tseng yelled as he began trying to pry his agents off Erick.

"Chief! Wait!" Elena appeared next and stopped short right behind the mass of people struggling on the top of the stairs.

"Gotcha!" Rude said as he tackled the blonde from behind, the inertia of his body and Elena's toppled everyone else down the stairs.

* * *

A healing spell was cast on Freyra's strained wrist by one of the doctors of the medical wing while another bandaged Tseng's head. "Well, it is not every day that all of the Turks visit the hospital at once," he mused.

"She started it, yo!" Reno (arm on a sling and bruised face) pointed at Cissnei, who was casually leaning on one wall.

"Don't pin this on me, I was just doing my job!" she retorted.

"Hey! Your job was bound to raise some objections!" Erick said from a chair, there was not a scratch on him.

"What are you _still_ doing here!?" Elena asked again, pointing with the tip of an empty potion bottle.

"Waiting for him," Erick said while pointing at Dante. A doctor was tending to his ankle, "it is not broken or strained, just put some ice and the pain will subside in a few hours."

"Well, let this be a lesson to you all," Tseng said while standing up and putting his blazer on.

"A lesson on what?" Freyra asked.

"On doing whatever I tell you to do, no questions asked!"

At that moment, a nurse and a doctor approached Tseng hurriedly. The doctor whispered something in the Turk's ear.

"You are all dismissed for today. I'll see you tomorrow morning." He followed the doctor deep into the medical wing as quickly as they had appeared.

"What was that about?" Emma asked. None seemed to find an answer.

* * *

After helping Dante limp his way back to the department, Erick placed some ice in a towel and gave it to the Turk to put over his aching ankle.

"So. Um. I guess I will be going now," he said.

"Uh? I thought you were off duty for two more days."

"I do, I mean. After what happened today I, well… Gaia…" he scratched the back of his head slowly.

Dante eyed him curiously. "Oh… You mean about the photos?"

Erick nodded quietly. "I mean. I'm not proud of it. I know there are many other SOLDIERs that did the same, but still. I guess I like to pretend that I was selected for SOLDIER and for 2nd class because of my abilities and not because of those photos." And awkward silence fell on the room. Dante of course knew that the Turks had no say on who got elected or promoted, but he could not disclose that.

"I don't think they chose you because those pictures," Dante finally said. "I think you are talented enough to have gained that merit on your own. Now, I don't care what you have or haven't done, I care about you for yourself."

Erick fell on the couch next to Dante with a long sight.

"You know," Erick began after a while, "today's the first time you said I am your boyfriend."

Dante recalled the moment and smiled quietly. "Yeah. I guess I did."

"Guess it's official now."

"I don't see us doing any more missions in the future from now on, you know?" Dante said.

"Ahw man. Who's gonna watch your back?"

"I guess I'll have to be extra careful. And stay away from stairs. Or from Emma, for that matter." They chuckled. Erick had stood up and walked to the fridge when a yellow envelope slid under Dante's door. The Turk reached and opened it.

"What you got there?"

"Heh. Heh heh." Dante started passing the sheets.

"What's so funny?"

"Cissnei's way of saying 'sorry'".

"Huh?"

Dante turned the pages to reveal a new print of Erick's photoshoot.

"Wha-No! Don't watch it!"

They started wrestling on the floor over the prints.

"Come on! You _do_ look hot in that locker room!

"Stop!"

"And this pose! My, my… Nothing left for the imagination!"

"Please!"

"I'm commissioning a poster print of this one!"

"Danteeee!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone!
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but well, life always finds a way to, you know, get in the way.
> 
> I think I already know where I'm going to take this story now that I'm more confident on my writing (still, comments and suggestions are more than welcome). This story will definitely have an ending, so I will begin setting things up in a few more chapters.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and following this story. And to those that began reading it recently, for giving it a chance.
> 
> See you next time!


	22. Infiltration

Tseng waited for the person on the other side of the line to pick up. After a few seconds, the doctor picked up: "Mr. Tseng, how may I help you?"

"I'm concerned about your last inform: it reads 'patient finds herself confused and/or disoriented at times, perfectly lucid at others.'"

"What is the problem?"

"She was responding properly two days ago. How come she finds herself confused or disoriented all of a sudden?"

"Sir, you must understand, she went through severe head trauma. If you insist on pressing her, she may end up breaking down under the stress of-"

"She is the only witness I have of the whereabouts of a person of interest. It is necessary to fully debrief her as soon as possible."

"I understand your eagerness, but the thing is that her health began faltering after you insisted on interviewing her," the doctor stated matter-of-factly. After a silence stemmed from this underhand accusation, he proceeded: "it would be better to allow her to see her partners. Give her some semblance of normality. It may help stabilize her to a point where she would be fit to answer all your questions."

Tseng sighted. "All right. I'll inform my subordinates in due time. Until then, do not allow them into her room."

"What excuse am I supposed to use to keep them from seeing a person in a coma?"

"That is for you to make up." Tseng hanged the phone. He regretted almost immediately his brashness with the physician, but the prompt recovery of her agent was crucial.

After all, only she knew what had happened before the Corel reactor collapsed. The chief stood up and looked out of the window behind his desk: the eerie green lights of the construction of Midgar were bright as usual. Sometimes he wondered how people living near-by could sleep at night.

The phone in the office rang. Tseng picked up and half-expected to be yelled at by the doctor but instead, he found himself talking to one of his subordinates:

"Oi, Chief. I got new intel for ya."

"Don't 'oi' me, if you please."

"Ahw, c'mon! Reno speaks worse that I do, adding that annoying 'yo' at the end of ev'ry fucking sentence," the sound of cigarette-smoke exhaling followed.

"Well, he has a speech impediment. That is different," Tseng answered.

"If that's what it is, how come he never adds 'yo' when talking to ya?" the amusement in the statement was obvious.

_Fuck, he is right_ , Tseng thought, but followed: "because he respects me enough to not- _why_ are we talking about Reno!?"

"I dunno, you brought him up."

"No I didn't! You were…" Tseng was cut when the chuckling came from the receiver. That particular agent seemed to be more annoying than all of the others combined. "You! Ugh! What is it you have to report?"

"Two words: clandestine. Fightclub." A long drag from the cigarette.

"I'm sure that 'fight club' is two words, but anyway. What about it?"

"The usual. Illegal gambling, money laundering, hardcore drugs, shady businesses. The booze is good, tho."

"I repeat: what about it?"

"Oh, AVALANCHE is using it to gather funds."

"What!?"

"I knew you'd like it. I'd drop by just to see that new kid Rude told me about, but I guess I'll just send the info the usual way."

"Do so."

"What? Notta 'thank you' or a 'good job'? After risking my neck ev'ry day?"

"I'm your chief, not your father. Also, it _is_ your job."

"Ya, I know, I'm just messing with ya. Anywho, I'll go back to duty. Oh, and Chief."

"What?"

"Is Freyra still mad at me?"

" _Ooooooh boy, you have no idea…"_ a third voice came from the receiver.

"Emma? Wha-how are you-!?" Tseng exclaimed.

" _Well, we were teaching Dante how to wiretap a telephone, and we noticed you were in a phone call and…"_

"You are teaching him to wiretap on _my_ telephone!?"

" _Nooo!... Maybe… Yes… Yeah, I guess we are… But fear not, chief, we are so drunk you'll probably won't remember a thing tomorrow morning,"_ a fourth voice said.

" _Elena! Shhhhh! He doesn't know we are drunk!"_ Emma said.

" _Oh shit, you are right!"_ Silly, drunken giggling started on the other side of the line.

"Hey! How are my favorite blondies doing?"

"Enough! Hang the phone you two!" Tseng yelled.

" _Ah come on Chief, you know that-Wait a minute… … Where is Dante?"_

" _I dunno, he was right behind us with Reno and SOLDIER-boy, maybe they…"_ The rest became fainter as the two women walked away from their receiver. Tseng tapped his fingers as he listened Emma and Elena walk progressively away and then the opening and closing of a door.

"Man I miss those two. Well, I guess I should be going now, Chief."

"I guess…"

"Oh, and Chief…"

"What?"

"Don't be suck a stick in the mud! I can introduce ya to a couple of girls that…"

Tseng smashed the receiver. He still couldn't understand how the agent managed to push all the wrong buttons.

* * *

"Is this _really_ the best course of action?" Although Dante was sure that his concerns would be swept under the carpet, he was still not out of his habit of asking in hope that maybe one day his partners would acknowledge that he may be right. He was, however, already wearing red and black combat shorts and a matching ring-entrance robe.

"Why of course! That way we can complete the mission while making sure all those involved are arrested!" Elena, wearing a maid costume, said.

"Now, remove the stud from your ear. You don't want it getting snagged on something and getting ripped along with your earlobe," a scrubs-wearing Cissnei warned. Dante groaned as he removed the piece. He was sure this was going to go awry at some point.

It started two days earlier when Tseng entered the meeting room and announced something nobody in their wildest dreams expected the chief to say:

"Reno, you are in charge."

Dante stopped fiddling with his pen, Freyra spit a bit of her coffee, Cissnei's eyes went wide, Elena pierced the page of her current crossword puzzle, Emma chuckled a bit and Rude cleared his throat discretely.

"Sir?" Reno asked. His tone reflected a degree of uncertainty that went beyond the fact that he had expressed a question. As if to coerce out of his chief the revelation that there was another Reno in the office, unknown to all of them up until then.

"You heard me. I have other things to attend the following days. Therefore, I have decided to charge you with this mission" he slid a folder across the table to him, "as a way to apologize that we sold your nudes for profit. Not that it means I'm sorry for that."

"Don't apologies require that in principle, you _are_ sorry for what you are apologizing for?" Freyra asked.

"Not in our line of work. Or in the PR department," Tseng answered the recently-snubbed second-in-command.

"Or in court procedures," Elena complimented.

"Or in high school life," Dante went on.

"Or when the villain apologizes for gross misconduct to the new love of the man she lost due to unnecessary drama and pretenses of pregnancy to dupe him into marriage."

They all turned to see Rude.

"I stand by the idea that 'Pasión bajo las palmeras' is a good show," the bald man said as he adjusted his tie.

"Dude, I told you to cut down on the Mideelian telenovelas, yo."

"Ah shoot! I forgot to DVR the last episode!" Emma said. "Did Berenice already married Sebastián?"

"Not if Josefina has anything to say about it."

"People! Focus!" Tseng said as he snapped his fingers. When attention went back to him, he continued: "as I was saying: there is a case that requires a quick and clean solution in Kalm, so Reno will manage the logistics of it. I expect success in three days. Until then, do as he says." The chief picked up a briefcase form under the meeting table and left the room.

The Turks were left in silence, processing the ludicrousness of the situation.

It took Reno an astounding 36 seconds to begin abusing his newfound power.

"All right _sheeple_ , you will be doing as I say. For starters, you will be addressing me as 'Daddy', yo."

"Like hell we will!" Freyra exclaimed.

"I recall the Chief saying 'do as he says'. So if I pull out my dick on the desk and order you to genuflect, you do, yo!"

Emma raised her hand: "would we also be required to lie about finding it big?"

"Especially about that!" the redhead said.

The morning went by reading Tseng's dossier. Apparently, terrorists were using bets in an illegal fight club to make money. More importantly, rich and powerful people would hire fighters from all across the globe to beat the crap out of the other for a minimum cut for the sake of amusement. The informant Turk had already given them the date of the following event, where they were supposed to arrest everyone involved with the help of an infantrymen and SOLDIER unit.

"But what if…" Reno started.

"Reno, no!" Freyra cut him.

"Show Daddy some respect!" Elena reprimanded.

"Don't encourage this!"

"What? I haven't even said what I'm thinking, yo!"

"You are thinking on placing bets before the fight to make a quick Gil before we shut that place for good!" the brunette said.

"What? No! ... … … Ok yes, that's exactly what I was planning. But you can't deny it is a good idea, yo!"

"It's a terrible idea! How do you suppose we are going to infiltrate that place, bet and cash in without raising suspicions?"

"More importantly, how are we supposed to know who to bet on? We don't know how they are rigging the fights," Emma added.

"We would require infiltrating and sponsoring a fighter," Cissnei said, stroking her chin.

"Someone that can deliver a convincing fight," Rude added.

"Someone that will 'take a dive' at the last moment so that we collect the-shit I'm into it!" Freyra said, prey of the infectious machinations.

"Yes! Exactly! That means that we can _all_ play a role in this. We pose as rich people, sponsor one of us and bet on him loosing, collect the profits and shut the place down!" Emma said in a single breath.

"Yeah, but that means we still need a fighter. And this face is not gonna take punches, yo."

"Sorry, the cafeteria is still not fully operational. It's canned coffee ag-why are you looking at me like that?" Dante said as he entered the office, his arms filled with the cylindrical containers.

Dante was filled in the new devious scheme and convinced by "Daddy" that this was the beast course of action, although the redhead conveniently forgot to mention that there was money involved. After that (and multiple reassurances by Cissnei and Elena), the Turks walked to a door at the end of the hallway. Rude entered a number in the keypad next to the frame and the door slid open.

"Woa… This has been here all along?" Dante said as he admired the place.

"Yup. Welcome to the Disguise Closet!" Emma proudly announced.

They were in a large walk-in dressing room. Rows of clothing of all kinds were hanged from wall to wall, interrupted only by mirrors and shelves filled with shoes, glasses and the occasional hat.

"Why do we have all of this?" Dante asked as he examined a SOLDIER uniform, complete with helmet and armor.

"We use it for undercover assignments," Cissnei said, "everything we've used to disguise ourselves –with varying degrees of success- is here." That said, she pulled a hanger that displayed the jacket Dante had worn on his ill-fated first field assignment. Next to it were Cissnei and Elena's clubbing dresses and the delivery-men costumes used by the others. They began scouting for clothing, interrupted occasionally by the memories of the last time some of those disguises had been worn.

"Look! I can't believe I fit in this one!" Elena said as she pulled a cheerleader costume from the hanging rod, "to think that school was a cult!"

"Hey! Look at this, yo!" Reno said as he pulled a leather jacket and pants emblazoned with a biker gang logo.

"Ugh. I still don't know how you convinced me to wear this," Freyra said with disdain at a black dress with a very open cleavage whose lower half seemed to be made completely out of crossed belts.

After pulling several outfits and deciding who should play what role in their infiltration, they spent the following day planning the procedure. Freyra made a phone call to the organizers and using a very forced accent, signed her and her husband's fighter in for the second fight of the night.

They spent the next day planning contingency plans, tracing escape routes and arranged the time the infantrymen and SOLDIER unit would arrive to arrest everyone, all while hiding from Dante that it was _after_ they could collect their earnings.

Finally, the night of the match the Turks arrived at the arena and were an usher led them to a prep room where they began sorting the last few details.

Cissnei –posing as a ringside medic- was helping Dante put on the protective gear.

"That's it?" Dante asked, when he was only offered a teeth guard.

"Um, yeah! They want blood!" Elena said while wrapping an alarmingly thin bandage over Dante's fist.

"The more it bespatters, the better." Rude said from the door. He was wearing an expensive-looking white tuxedo. Behind him, Freyra entered the room:

"How iz my littl' stud doin' tonite?" she said in a horribly unconvincing accent. She was wearing a form-fitting silver dress and a white fur stole. Most noticeable was that she was wearing make-up and her hair was up in an elaborate hairdo.

"You know you don't need to use that accent here, right?" Elena asked as she secured the bandage in Dante's other fist. Freyra looked at her not unlike how Scarlett would have done.

"Wy iz the servitude toking back to her misstrez?" Freyra asked Rude through elaborate hand gestures.

"I am sorry darling. I shall be more thorough on the interview for her replacement," Rude said with an accent vaguely like that of Genesis'.

"No, really. It's annoying," Cissnei said as she recorded Dante's pulse and blood pressure on a control sheet.

"Ugh. What is the first rule of undercover missions?" Freyra asked in an exasperated tone.

"Alwayfs gek into charafkter?" Dante asked as best as he could through the dental guard.

"Exactly! So, who are you?" she pointed at Cissnei.

"Yuna, Appointed Healer. Hired to make sure your fighter is properly cared for."

"And you?" pointing at Elena.

"Rikku, born in the lower plate, I decided to try my luck as a maid for a rich woman that although she treats me poorly, deep down cares about my well-being."

"Yeah, nobody will care about those details. I'm Lulu and this is my husband… Er… What's your name again, honey?"

"Chappu."

"Chappu? That's the best you came up with? It sounds like a dog's name!"

"Is being such a b-word part of Lulu's character or it's just you?" Elena asked.

"Itf dof sount like a dogk name," Dante sputtered out through the guard.

A knock on the door preceded a man announcing: "you are out in ten."

"You know, for being an illegal fight club, this place is very well organized," Cissnei commented.

"Indeed it is." Freyra said. "Anyway, last review: Emma is guarding outside, she will let us know when the infantry arrives. Rude and I will be on the VIP area, attended by the handmaid who does _not_ talk back to her mistress, and Cissnei and Dante will be at the ring."

"…with th'assistant coach," a new voice said.

"Huh?" Cissnei said while tossing a stethoscope over her neck.

"Affiftant cock?"

"Ruluf! Hi!" Elena said cheerfully at the black-haired stranger standing at the door.

"Woa! What are YOU doing here!?" Freyra said.

"What'choo mean? Ya hired me!" the man said.

"What!? This was not part of the plan!" Freyra said to Cissnei and Elena in an unusually high-pitched tone.

"Ahw c'me on! When Reno told me ya guys would all be here I just had to jump in!"

"Dammit Reno!" Freyra exclaimed.

"Amm forry. Whfoo if hee?" Dante asked.

"I'm Auron. Former boxing champion of th'Western continent until a tragic accident made me loose one of my spleens. I was down in th'gutter, drinking away my remaining spleen when lady Leeloo hired me to train her new runt, giving m'life new meaning!"

"Ok. First of all, it's Lulu. Second you only have _one_ spleen and it has nothing to do with alcohol processing!"

Freyra's bickering, however, was ignored because Ruluf was catching up with Elena.

"Can you believe this guy! Shows up just like that into my mission as if…"

"Urr miffion? You didn'tf want t' partifipete!"

"Sweet Minerva! Spit that out!" Freyra yelled, slapping the back of Dante's head to make him expel the teeth guard.

"Ahhw. That really brings me back," Ruluf said while looking at Freyra with a devious smile.

"Don't!" she warned in the tone she reserved to when her trigger finger was ready to flex.

"Allright, allright! Mission first, fun later!" Ruluf said.

With a last 'ugh', Freyra left the room, practically dragging Rude and Elena with her.

After a quick introduction to his new partner/trainer, Cissnei and Ruluf escorted Dante to the ring entrance. Just as they neared the door, Cissnei added a new bit of info: "Dante, you will lose the fight on the 5th round."

The rookie spat the teeth guard on his barely-covered fists.

"Wait, what?"

"You are a newcomer! Everyone expects you to loose on the first round! It will be suspicious if one of those two situations does not happen!"

"Why go through all of this if I'm loosing on purpose!?"

"Because!"

"In th'end it will have been as I told ya during training," Ruluf said, placing his hand on Dante's shoulder.

"Huh?"

"The real fight happ'ned in here boy," he said, dead serious, while poking with the index of his free hand at Dante's chest, right on top of his heart.

"Pfffttthgg-hahahaha! You are so full of shit Auron!" Cissnei laughed, hands on her stomach.

Right then, an announcer began speaking through the amplifiers:

"And now, for our second fight of the night! An aspiring martial artist with a sad story: lost his parents at a young age and then, began sinking in drugs and alcohol." A sad pause for effect followed. "But now he is back on track! He found new meaning for his life in martial arts! And tonight he participates in his first match! Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Kimahri Ronso!"

The door in front of the Turks opened, revealing a catwalk that ran through the audience and towards a fighting ring. Ruluf and Cissnei pushed their partner slightly so that he began walking as the audience clapped enthusiastically. Around one-hundred and fifty people were sitting around the arena, some of them holding posters that read the names of their favorite fighters. Just as Dante arrived at the ring, he noticed a cleaning crew removing some blood stains from the mat.

Once on the ring, Dante waved nervously at the public from his corner. Freyra's reflective, silver dress caught his eye almost immediately: she was sitting two rows away from wall in an elevated platform. Behind her, Elena looked positively bored simply standing there with a tray of champagne-filled glasses.

"And now! For a worthy opponent! A recent addition to our recurring fighters!" The door on the other side of the ring opened and a small figure walked into the arena.

"The Queen of Kicks! The Mistress of Pain!" the figure reached the ring and climbed in.

"Directly from the mountains a continent away!" she removed the hood of the ring-entrance robe to reveal black hair that framed a face no older than 16.

"Make some noise for Tifa Lockhart!"

The audience erupted in ecstatic screaming and clapping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done!
> 
> Once again, a single chapter plot that extended too long.
> 
> Sorry my updates are getting further and further apart, but real life calls!
> 
> New Turk introduced here, Two Guns (apparently called Ruluf) will be hanging around at least the following chapter. I still haven't decided if he'll stay.
> 
> Also, Tifa! What could she be doing here? I'll explain next chapter!
> 
> Now, I recently double-checked and noticed I screwed things up in chronology: The Corel incident happened already, before the Nibelheim one, I apologize for that. Given how crazy things are coming up, I think this is the least of concerns.
> 
> As usual, I want to express my gratitude to those that follow and read this story.
> 
> Let me know if you have any comments or suggestions! Critiques will be greatly appreciated!
> 
> See ya later!
> 
> Soon. I hope.


	23. Return

"This is not going well," Elena whispered in a sing-song tone to her "employers" as she discretely leaned in between the two of them with a plate of pastries.

"I think we ought to increase the training hours dear," Rude said to his pretend wife as he held her hand reassuringly.

"Wy, of corse honey! Anyzhing to keep that poor kid out of drug's reech." In reality, she had been scratching the silver finish from the fabric of her dress to the point it was now a dull gray color.

Dante had spent the first three minutes of the first round blocking and making frankly pathetic attempts at countering. Not only was his opponent much faster and smaller than he was, but Freyra had the increasing worry that Dante was yet to fully develop that black area in his morality that so characterized the rest of the Turks. Thus, Freyra concluded, he was having second thoughts about beating a girl, let alone one that was obviously younger than he was. He received the first kick to the head fully, and after that, a series of punches to the face from which he took over half.

* * *

The bell ringed and both fighters went for a rest at their respective corners, where Cissnei applied a cold press to her partner's swollen cheek.

"What the heck Dan-Kimahri!? At this rate you won't make it to the fifth round!" she whispered.

"What what's-her-name said! Ya need to step up your game bro!" Ruluf said as he dried the sweat from his forehead.

"Wfat da heck ammay fupoffed to do? Beatf her!?" Dante said through the mouth guard.

"Yes!" "Yeah!" His ringside team answered in unison.

The bell rang again, so Dante moved to the center of the ring. At the referee's signal, they engaged again. This time, Dante began countering, punching and kicking back. After a more balanced round, he found himself in a corner where she delivered a killing combo of three punches to his face, liver and then his jaw. In the last moment, he stopped another punch, locked her arm with his and then countered with a swift knee strike to her stomach. The bell announced the end of the second round, so he walked slowly back to his corner where Cissnei began her frantic whispering:

"What the hell! You are supposed to be an amateur! That counter-move is SOLDIER training!"

"Fso?" Dante said. He may have picked a thing or two from the occasional sparring match with Erick.

"It'll be suspicious! They teach those moves to SOLDIERS _only_!" Ruluf said.

"Agfh, c'me on!" the rookie exclaimed in defeat.

Dante moved to his position as the new round started. This time, however, Tifa's stance had changed.

* * *

From among the public, Reno could see that things were not going exactly as planned. They usually never were, but this time it was more serious: there was money (his money!) on the line.

"Come on kid! Forget about gallantries for a minute, yo!" he whispered to himself as he saw his partner lock the girl's arms with his, leaving them almost face-to-face.

"Yes! You got her!"

Unfortunately, she sidestepped a bit, twisted her body so that her shoulder was against Dante's chest and delivered a form of back-kick in which her heel smashed hard against the back of his head.

"What the…?!"

* * *

On the VIP area, Freyra clearly heard Reno's exclamation above the noise of the crowd.

"Wow! That guy's finished!" someone commented behind the Turks.

" _Not if I have anything to say about it!"_ she though. From within the fur stole, she produced her PHS, quickly wrote a message and hit 'send'.

"The things one does for love," a middle aged woman sitting next to Freyra said to her husband.

"Fo' love?" Freyra asked while sipping delicately from her champagne glass.

"Oh yes! We found that girl trying to gather money for the last stretch of her journey."

"She said she came all the way from the Western continent, trying to reach Midgar to see a childhood friend of hers," the woman's husband said.

"When we heard we just had to do something!"

"A most noble deszishon, really," Freyra said, eyes closed and with one hand over her heart.

The all missed how Elena raised one eyebrow beyond all that was thought humanly possible.

* * *

Next to the ring, Cissnei opened the cover of her own PHS and read: _'move to plan B'_. The redhead ducked and opened her medical bag. From within it she produced a water bottle with a red cap that she had hoped would not be necessary. After all, it had never been tested. Cissnei then thought of the vacations she planned on taking to Costa del Sol with her share and immediately entered the so called 'black area' of her morality.

A brand new drug from Hollander's lab: Hyper-X. Guaranteed to go put anyone in Fury with just a few drops. Just to be sure, she had carefully measured and increased the dose, to make sure the drug countered Dante's everyday Remedy. Now she just needed him to be in a lot of pain to kick-start the…

"Oh, fuck!" Ruluf exclaimed as Tifa stepped one foot on Dante's bent knee and with amazing speed, delivered one somersault kick straight to their partner's jaw,

"That'll do," she said to herself.

Dante hit the mat as the bell announced the end of the round. Ruluf and Cissnei stretched half their bodies into the arena, grabbed their partner by the arms and pulled him to the corner.

As she shook the bottle to mix the liquids, Cissnei noticed that there was blood dripping from Dante's brow. Entering in her role as appointed healer, she gave the bottle to Ruluf and instructed: "make him drink one sixth of the bottle." Cissnei ducked and started fumbling in her medical bag again and produced some gauze. When she returned to her partners' side on the ring corner she gasped in horror: half of the bottle was already empty.

"…deoheim, 5-Modeoheim, 6-Modeoheim! Done! Th'hell's that? Smells… Toxic," the false trainer asked.

"I told you _one sixth_!"

"S' I did! Count t'six while pouring?... Right?"

When the bell rang, Dante fully opened his eyes, pupils small as pinpricks. He spat the mouth guard and slowly rolled his neck, making it crack. The rookie incorporated and strutted to the center of the ring.

"Oh shit…" Cissnei said

* * *

From the VIP area, Freyra struggled to see what was happening on the side of the ring.

"Rikku, my glasses!" she commanded, forgetting all about her poor attempts at a posh accent.

"Yes, ma'am. Of course," Elena answered, suppressing a chuckle.

Freyra extended her binoculars and pointed them at the ringside team. Cissnei seemed to be chastising her partner, repeatedly pointing at a half-empty bottle and then to Dante that was…

"Good Gaia! That's going to leave a mark!"

"And in such a pretty face!" Someone said behind them.

Freyra pointed her binoculars at the ring and carefully studied her partner's face.

"Oh shit!"

"What it is honey?"

Freyra stretched to Rude's ear and whispered something. He cleared his throat and adjusted his tie nervously.

"Woooooo! Yes! Beat her ass!" Elena yelled from behind them, one of the pastries from the plate half-eaten on her hand.

"Ele-kku! Don't make a spectacle of yourself!"

Suddenly remembering her role, she regained some composure and adjusted her uniform.

"I'm so sorry ma'am! Please don't deport me!"

Tifa's sponsors gasped in surprise, scandalized at Elena's desperate request.

"Deep down, she really cares about me," the blonde said reassuringly to the older couple, happy that her backstory would not go fully to waste.

* * *

Reno watched his partner pick up the pace. Maybe a little too much. He was now attacking the girl without a break and not even bothering in stopping or blocking her kicks.

" _What the hell is he doing!?"_ Reno though as he watched Dante lock one of her legs with his arms, pushing her against the ropes and then strike her as she bounced back towards him. Thankfully, just before he delivered a falling kick, the bell signaled the end of the round. This time the referee had to physically push Dante away and back to his corner.

"Reno! Reno!"

The redhead turned around.

"Emma!? What are you doing here, yo!? You are supposed to be waiting for the infantry unit!"

"I am. I mean… I was. When they arrived they brushed me aside without allowing me to explain the situation!"

"Well, I'm not surprised, yo," Reno answered, looking at her nun costume. "I told you to go with the hooker one, yo! That one was a sure thing!"

"Like you should talk! At least now we know what you do with your pubic hair!" She said while tugging the false red mustache Reno had glued to his face.

In the background, the bell rang again. Reno and Emma turned just in time to see Dante pull his arm away of Ruluf's grasp and Cissnei's pleading face, waving her arms frantically.

"Aha! I knew swapping the Remedy with sugar pills yesterday was sure to do the trick!" the blonde exclaimed as she watched Dante give an uncharacteristic, cocky smirk at his ringside team.

"You did what!?"

"I sneaked into his department, changed the Remedies and…"

"No! Cissnei said she was already doing something about that!"

Emma's eyes opened wide. "Ooooh shit… The he is…? OH SHIT! We better recover our money before the infantrymen…"

At that moment, the three doors of the arena opened at once, and what seemed to be an entire platoon of infantrymen and a few SOLDIERs entered the arena.

Chaos followed promptly, people started attempting to stampede out of the illegal arena, only to be rounded by the uniformed men at gunpoint.

"You two! Hands behind your head!" Someone ordered behind them.

Reno and Emma turned around to find themselves in the wrong side of a machine gun.

"Dude, wait! We are with the Department of Administrative Research, yo!"

"Department of what?"

"The Turks, dammit!" Emma snapped.

"Like I'm going to believe that bull! Hands up or I'll shoot!"

" _Hail Minerva, full of grace,_  
The Lord is with thee  
Blessed art thou amongst…"

"Quiet sister!" the infantryman said, aiming his gun fully at Emma.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Reno lunged forward and disarmed the infantryman. In one swift move, he smashed the butt of the rifle on the infantryman's face, leaving him unconscious.

"Blessed be, my child," Emma said while performing a small reverence.

Reno opened the hoodie he was wearing and, assisted by the Velcro on the side seams of his pants, ripped them off; Emma lift her dress and removed the veil from her head, revealing that underneath their disguises, they were wearing the easily recognizable Turk suit.

"Wait… Why didn't you reveal your uniform to the infantrymen outside, yo?"

Emma looked at him in the eye and with a graceful tone proclaimed: "Yevon works in mysterious ways."

"Ha! Good one, yo! Now… To recover our money!"

"Shouldn't we be helping our partners?" Emma asked as they dashed to the mutuel windows.

"Nah, the'll be fine!"

* * *

"Stay away from my mistress!" Elena yelled in despair while using her own body to cover Freyra. The infantryman's response was to shock her with a Taser gun that left her drooling on the floor.

"To think that's what it took to shut her up," Freyra said.

Rude took off his jacket to reveal his Turk suit underneath: "we are working undercover with the Department of Administrative Research," he said while pulling his glasses from the pocket of the blazer and putting them on. He too, ripped of his pants after that.

Before the infantryman in front of them had a chance, Freyra unfolded her leather ID holder and clarified: "the Turks." She then proceeded to unzip her dress, revealing that she, too, was wearing her suit underneath. After pulling her blazer and shotgun from within her fur stole in a physics'-defying motion, she instructed the infantryman: "the male fighter and his medic and coach are with us. Inform your commanding officer we are here to apprehend those running this place."

"Understood ma'am. Should I request backup for your team?"

"No. We are perfectly capable of-Chappu! Where are your pants!?"

"It seems I forgot to put them on underneath the costume," Rude said, standing stoically in boxer briefs in the midst of the chaos. Elena stood up, rolling down her pants, hitherto hidden under the maid skirt and removing the top part to reveal her blazer.

"Ok. Now what?" she asked as she removed the headpiece of her costume.

"You and I go arrest the chief of this joint. Rude: go help Cissnei and that jerk contain Dante."

* * *

Cissnei had already removed her scrubs and pulled her blazer from within the medical bag and was on top of the ring trying to make Dante take a Remedy.

"For the love of…! You _need_ to drink this!" she yelled, forcing a bottle in the bandaged hands of her Berserk partner.

"Like hell I will!" Dante then threw the bottle away. "You are always giving me drugs that make sluggish and limp-dicked! How the fuck do I know you are not trying to do to me what you did to Veld, huh!?"

"Listen t'her kid!" Ruluf said from the ring floor, his legs tangled in the Velcro-less sweatpants that were covering his own suit.

"Hands in the air!" an infantryman ordered from behind Dante.

"No! Don't!"

Cissnei's warning was too late: the rookie merely walked towards the infantryman until the machinegun's barrel was pressing his abdomen and then proceeded to head-butt the innocent bystander hard enough to push him out of the ring. Dante then turned to Cissnei and said: "you are not fucking drugging me again!" With that said, he jumped from the ring and into the crowd.

Ruluf stood up, adjusting his tie-less shirt and open blazer and commented: "well, shit!"

"Hurry up! We need to get him before he is shot! Rude! Where are your pants!?" Cissnei said as her partner climbed into the ring.

"Longs story. Where's Dante?"

"Um, guys…" Ruluf pointed to the middle of the entrance catwalk, were a couple of infantrymen were trying to restrain him.

"Shit! Go! Go! Go!" Cissnei said as she grabbed the medical aid bag and jumped down.

* * *

In the upper floor, Elena and Freyra reached the door labeled as 'Administrator'. After cocking her shotgun and giving Elena time to ready a spell from her bracer, Freyra kicked open the door. Inside, a man was hastily pulling money from a safe into a briefcase. When the Turks entered, he turned hastily, aiming a gun at the women in the entrance.

"Lazard?" Freyra said.

"Well, well. No wonder this place was so well organized," Elena commented.

"Stop there, you two!"

"Look, I understand you were accustomed to a good lifestyle, but this may have gone a biiiit too far," Elena said.

"What? No! I'm not doing this for the money!" He was frantically switching his target from one woman to the other.

"Then _why_ are you taking the money!?" Freyra asked.

"You don't understand! What Shin-Ra has done-IS doing right now!"

"We can argue about ethics in the interrogation room," Freyra stated.

At that moment, something tackled the Turks from behind. Elena and Freyra turned around to see a pair of Grunts, not unlike those guarding the Mako reactors, behind them.

"Ah shit! Not these again!" Freyra exclaimed as she wrestled the creature on top of her. Finally, she placed the barrel of the shotgun against the creature's chin and fired, splattering the office with red gore. Elena made the other assailant jump away from herself with a low-power Lightning spell, and Freyra finished it off with her weapon as soon as it landed.

"Oh shit!" Elena exclaimed when she saw around the empty office. In the commotion, Lazard had escaped.

* * *

"Just keep him still!" Cissnei directed at Rude and Ruluf, whom were having trouble holding Dante down.

"Fuck off you two!" the rookie yelled beneath his struggling partners. It was amazing how he could fight against the two men, whom together, more than tripled his weight.

"What is happening here!?" a SOLDIER 2nd who had come to escort those arrested, said behind the Turks.

"Not now Kunsel!" Cissnei said a she struggled to empty a bottle with dissolved Remedies in Dante's mouth.

"Wait… Isn't he Captain Erick's…?"

"NOT. NOW! Arg! Hold him still!"

"Easier said than done!" Ruluf exclaimed, blood dripping from a previously received punch to the nose.

"Isn't who my-WHAT the hell are you doing to him!?" a new 2nd class SOLDIER said.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Cissnei said, resigned at the constant interruptions.

"Who is he!? Why is Dante half-naked!? And _why_ is Rude _without_ pants on top of _him_!?" Erick said as he removed his helmet and pointed to Ruluf, Dante and Rude respectively.

"I'll just… Leave you alone… Go… Lock people up…" Kunsel said as he tiptoed away from the commotion.

"Fine! You make him drink this!" Cissnei said as she shoved the bottle with the Remedies to Erick.

"Berserk again?"

"Long story," Rude said.

"Do you mind getting off me Rude? I can feel you dick against my leg!" Dante spat.

Rude and Ruluf struggled to get him to a sitting position, holding his arms behind his back.

"Ok. Dante, this is for your own good," Erick started.

"I fucking knew it! You are helping them get me drugged! Well fuck you! I'm not gonna sit here and let you or anybody-!" his bickering was cut short when he fell asleep after Elena smacked the back of his head with her glowing hand.

"That'll do!" The blonde said.

"Took you long enough! Where were you!?" Cissnei said.

"Long story. Where are Emma and Reno? We need to regroup and inform Tseng that… Someone was here." Freyra cut herself when she noticed that there were several SOLDIERs around them.

* * *

After Emma and Reno –both with noticeably swollen pockets–regrouped with their partners, the Turks began gathering the remnants of their disguises and equipment. Dante was now Berserk-free, wearing a white crew shirt over the fight shorts, sitting on the back of their transport truck with Erick.

"Well. This was an interesting day," he said, drinking from a bottle –thankfully– devoid of any drug.

"Yeah. It was. I would have really liked to see you kick some ass, though."

"I told you! It was a girl."

"Nevertheless! Must have been a good fight to leave you in that state. Where is she anyways?"

"Emma and Elena had Social Services send her back to her hometown."

"Dante! We have to go. Tseng needs to see us as soon as we arrive," Freyra announced.

"Well. I guess I'll see you later tonight," Dante said as he stretched his shoulder. He was going to be painfully sore the following day.

Erick jumped down from the back of the truck and began walking towards his unit, where the men under his command had finished handcuffing everybody. He stopped a few steps away, returned towards Dante and then asked him a hushed tone:

"So. Um." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Do you have to return that outfit today or… Can you, er, borrow it?" A towel to the face was the answer.

* * *

Back at Shin-Ra HQ, the Turks walked to their office through the dimly-lit corridors.

"So, what was Lazard doing there, yo?"

"No idea. But it can't be good," Freyra said.

"It seems a lot of hassle. Arranging fights and rigging them to gather money," Cissnei continued.

"Also, we could not find a single piece of evidence linking him to AVALANCHE," Emma pointed.

"Huh. So much for research work!" Freyra said with disdain, looking at Ruluf.

"Hey! 'twas a logical conclusion! Lots o' money, shady business… Besides, I'm not th'only one with a history of jumping t'conclusions, eh Freyra?" Ruluf said with a grin as Emma opened the door to the office.

"Listen, you little prick-NO way!"

Cissnei and Emma gasped in shock.

On top of one of the desks sat another woman wearing the Turks's suit. Her long, dark brown hair fell all the way to her lower back.

"Hello, you twerps."

The rest of the Turks stood in shock, as if looking at a ghost from beyond the Lifestream.

"Thought you got rid of me?" She said with a devilish smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess Ruluf will be staying! Although, to be honest, the hardest thing about him was writing his damn speech pattern (what was I thinking!?)
> 
> And yet another Turk appears! What does she know that Tseng is desperate to learn? What is Lazard doing? What happened between Ruluf and Freyra? Did Dante return the fighter outfit?
> 
> This and more to be answered later on!
> 
> Thank you for reading and following this story and for last chapter's reviews ;)
> 
> See ya later!


	24. Paperwork and memories

The sudden reappearance of Lazard prompted Tseng to take Ruluf back to in-office duties, along with the new female Turk. In a short span of time, Dante had not only discovered that there were other many other Turks, but actually met three of them. The increasing number of agents allowed him to draw a well-defined spectrum of personalities: Reno and Ruluf were capable agents, albeit boisterous and carefree to an almost negligent extreme. Cissnei and Rude were both people of few words, and yet, were efficient and down to the point. Between them, he could notice Freyra and Emma: laid back, yet capable, albeit prone to unnecessary giggles and weapon misuse. Elena and Dante, were competent by themselves, provided they were using materia and taking clear orders from someone else. That left a clear outlier: Judet.

She was one of the oldest agents both in age and in experience except for Veld and Tseng. It turned out, she was in fact the long-lost second in command and her absence had left a power void that threw the entire department out of order. Judet was an expert martial artist, former mercenary, and the most frightening woman Dante had ever met. She had a personality so unlike everyone else's, that it was hard to picture her as a member of the Turks. Judet was calm and collected at all times and worked as efficiently as possible. It was almost as if she charged for extra words. A notable exception to the "few-words" approach –and it happened often- happened when berating her partners about how much the department's standards had fallen in her absence:

"Gaia's sake Reno, you let that ponytail grow too long!"

"Yeah. I told you it would look cool, yo!"

"What if someone grabs it during a fight and uses it to overpower you!?"

Ruluf chuckled. "I'm pretty sure he likes it when someone pulls it. 'specially if that someone's also drilling him nice 'n' hard from behind."

"What the-? I'm not interested! And you! What is up with that thing on your ear?"

"Th'earring?" Ruluf asked while pointing at the rather large piece.

"It can get snagged in something and ripped along with your earlobe!"

"I've told them that. They won't listen," Freyra interjected. She then tested the cocking mechanism of her shotgun: a live shell ejected from the chamber.

" _Why_ are you handling that thing without the safety on!?"

"I-er. Well…"

"Those bad habits are rubbing onto the rookie!" Judet pointed at Dante, who was disassembling and cleaning his own handgun on the desk.

"I was just-! Mine's not loaded!" He stuttered, pointing to the magazine.

"Did ya check th'chamber?" Ruluf asked.

"Well, duh! It's not like-oh shit!" He exclaimed when a single bullet fell out of the gun.

"Woah!" Cissnei exclaimed as she tripped halfway to one of the filers: "Freyra! What is that mop still doing here!?"

"Shit! Help! My tie got stuck in the paper shredder!" Elena yelled from one corner of the office.

"Again!?" Said Emma as she dashed to unplug the machine and free her sister.

"Do any of you have any sense of workplace safety!?" Judet exclaimed.

They all turned towards Rude, who was on his desk unscrewing the back of an alarm clock. White dough and a mess of colored wires rested nearby. Seeing himself in the spotlight, Rude tossed everything in his drawer while clearing his throat quietly.

Tseng then entered the office, carrying several folders.

"Rude, for the last time, stop making explosives in here! You have seen how bad that can turn out!"

"Tseng! How did everything turn so bad in some months!?" Judet inquired.

"Months? You were in coma for almost a year!" Elena said. "We hired Dante to fill your place!"

"And him, too!" She said, now pointing to the rookie. "Why would chief Veld hire someone without experience of… Well, any kind!? Where is Veld anyways?"

"Long story Judet. I hoped you could help me sort that out when you awoke. It seems, however, you are more interested in pointing out every little flaw that your partners-Elena! Again!?" Tseng interrupted himself as he noticed the stuck blonde. Emma was kneeling in next to her sister, disassembling the top of the paper shredder to get the tie out.

"It keeps getting out! It's not my fault!" Elena said.

"That's why you use the clip," Freyra said, pointing at the stainless steel piece on her own tie.

"Wait… You mean those are not…!?" Elena gasped, pulling a tie clip from her hair.

A collective, suppressed chuckle spread through the office. Judet's iron-melting glare kept it from becoming a generalized laugh.

"As I was saying," Tseng continued, "things have been a bit complicated lately. I'm going to need your support to make this department the well-oiled, perfectly-functional precision machine it once was. So listen, everyone: whenever I'm not around, Judet is in charge."

"Sir!" was the unanimous answer.

"Now, you and I will go to the medical wing for your, ahem, treatment." Tseng said to Judet. "As for the rest of you! I have noticed that none have turned in your mission reports nor filed for reimbursements."

"Ahw, com'on chief! We hav'a month for that!" Ruluf said.

"No. It is today." Tseng pointed at the calendar whiteboard on the wall. He then let the pile of folders he was carrying fall on top of Emma's desk. A combination of gasping and groaning ran through the office.

"As I expected. Your reports better be at my office today _and_ your claims in the accounting office by 1700 sharp." He turned around and walked out of the office with Judet. "Remember to fill the forms with blue ink. Have a nice day."

Freyra and Cissnei began handling the folders, each labeled with one of the Turk's names.

Inside Elena and Dante's, there were only few forms and blank reports. Cissnei and Rude's were more-or-less the same albeit filled with more papers. The rest of the Turks' however…

"Holy shit! What is all this!?" Freyra exclaimed, as a cascade of papers slid from her very thick folder.

"Aw man! This is bullshit, yo!" Reno cursed as he noticed that he had a large amount of paper inside his folder too.

"No way! I wasn't even here that month!" Emma said while examining one of the papers from her very full folder.

"What. The. FUCK!?" Ruluf was holding not one, but three folders filled to a bursting point.

"Now, rookies: this is what you get from not keeping up with your paperwork," Cissnei stated.

"Rude! Why didn't you say I was slacking, yo!?"

"I did. Several times."

* * *

"Have you cleared your paperwork, partner?"

"I'll do it when we return, yo," Reno said as he tossed the items from Dante's bedroom desk into a box.

* * *

"Are you up-to-date in your paperwork, partner?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Uuuuunnnggghhh," a recently injected Dante groaned as Rude threw him on top of his bed.

* * *

"There is paperwork to be done."

"Oh shit! Look at that! Genesis is gonna burn him to a crisp, yo!"

* * *

"Have you completed your paperwork?"

"I will, I will… So, are there limits to what I can request for my partner here, yo?" Reno asked while pointing at the unconscious Hojo.

"None at all!" The honeybee girl said with a wide smile.

* * *

"Today is the last day to file your paperwork."

"Yeah, I was about to…"

"Gaia's sake Reno, you let that ponytail grow too long!"

"Yeah. I told you it would look cool, yo!"

* * *

"See. I told you," Rude completed his recount.

"Ok. Ok. I get it, yo!"

"Seaside Hotel? I don't even remember missions in Mideel!" Freyra said, holding up a receipt.

"Now you get out of your own mess," Cissnei said. "Rude and I will take the as-of-yet undamaged rookies while you sort out your backlog."

"Uhmm…" Elena began.

"No! Just… Don't!" Cissnei grabbed Elena by the shoulders. "You can't feel sorry for your sister! She is far too deep into the rabbit hole of carelessness! She would drag you down! This is part of being a Turk! Sometimes you have to abandon your partners to-"

"What? No! Screw her! I was looking for my blue pen!" Elena pulled the item from a folder on her desk.

"Well thank you _sister_."

"Rude! Partner! You can't be…" Reno started.

"Sorry, _partner_ , nothing personal."

After pulling some blue pens from their desks, Cissnei and Rude pushed the rookies out of the office. As soon as they were gone, the usual plotting began:

"Well. I guess we have to do it the usual way then, yo."

"You mean-?" Freyra began.

"Yup! Use Veld to sign some false reports and recover some money, yo!"

"I'm surprised th'higher ups neva'ttempted t'eliminate Veld," Ruluf said as they walked to the former chief's office.

"Rufus convinced them otherwise." Emma began, "he may be a spoiled brat, but he also cares about Veld. He was the comprehensive father figure that-ngyeh!"

"Oh shit!" Ruluf said.

The chair behind the desk turned around and faced the Turks. Unfortunately, the man sitting in it was not Veld, but Tseng.

"Chief! How did you-!? You left a minute ago!" Freyra exclaimed.

"That is the least of your concerns!" the Wutaian answered. At that moment, the metal grating of the ventilation shaft on the roof fell with a loud, metallic clang. "Did you think I was not aware of your forgeries?"

"Ah! You see-er-we…" Emma stuttered.

"Well, I was! And that is why I took Veld to a secure location!" Tseng stood up and walked to the door of the office, dirt staining his knees and the palm of his hands. "1700! Mission reports _and_ reimbursement claims!"

After Tseng left the office for the second time, the Turks scrambled towards their desks, fighting over the few blue pens left.

* * *

"Well. This is most unusual," John the barista said when the four Turks entered the recently-reopened cafeteria. "You normally just send him."

"We are keeping away from unnecessary problems," Rude said.

"The usual, please," Cissnei said as she sat on a chair and put a green eyeshade over her head.

"You take this real serious, don't you?" Dante asked.

"Yup! Tseng may be lenient when it comes to weapon misuse, uncooperativeness and general unprofessionalism… But when it comes to mission reports, well… Veld taught him well. It stuck on most of us."

"So, force of habit?"

"You could say that. Veld was worse."

"How so?"

"Let's just say that Reno's ponytail was set back several times," Rude said.

"Rude. You _are_ bald," Elena stated.

"Happened once. Learned my lesson. Also, I liked the style."

Dante began listening at the explanations of his superiors. What went to each format, how to fill each report and most important, how to apply for reimbursements.

* * *

"Ramuh, Minerva and Odin! We are never going to finish this!" Freyra yelled after shuffling through her papers twice, trying to find form SR-027B.

"I told ya! It would've'been easier t'locate Veld!"

"Guys! Guys! Let's focus. We have some hours left before-" Emma began.

"It's 2:40 already, yo!"

"Holy shit! What happened to the morning!?" The blonde panicked. "And why do I have to file the expenses of my psychiatric therapy!? Aren't those covered by the company!?"

"Nah. Those bastards will do everything in their power to save Gil," Freyra said.

"Why was nobody filing m'paperwork while I wass'undercover!?" Ruluf asked after a pile of sheets slid from his desk. "I have almost'a year'f backlog!"

"Dude! How were we supposed to fill your reports! We didn't even know where she sent you, yo!"

"She? Wait-!?"

"Let's not distract ourselves and continue!" Freyra said in a loud, high-pitched tone above the conversation. Ruluf, however, put two and two together.

"Ya didn't!"

"Look! I know it sounds bad but-"

"You had Tseng send m'away!"

"Ooooh bugger," Emma mumbled while gathering her papers discretely. Reno follower suit.

* * *

After the clandestine fight club report was filled, Dante began noting several people had appeared on the cafeteria: laboratory technicians, SOLDIERs, accountants and even medical doctors were quickly gathering on the tables to fill paperwork.

"Shit! It already begun!" Cissnei said as she stapled a couple of forms and slid them into an envelope.

"Does somebody have an extra pen!" some panicked worker yelled while entering the cafeteria.

"What is happening?" Dante asked, seeing more and more people flood the place.

Elena finished scribbling something in one page and hastily slid it into an envelope. "People that have reimbursement claims and waited 'till the last day!"

"Did you bring them?" Rude asked.

"Here they are," Cissnei pulled four Tasers from her suit and placed them on the table.

"Woa! What are you…!?"

"Dante, listen: bad things happen near the accounting office this day. Remember mako-infusion day?" Dante nodded. "It is even worse. Now, your claims are negligible, but that is because you have not been in many missions."

"I think you may be over-react…" Dante begun. Then, in an uncharacteristic display of anger, Rude grabbed the lapel of the rookie's suit and spat:

"Now listen, _partner_ , you may have not noticed, but Tseng sends us away every week or so. We bust our asses out there and unfortunately, we sometimes spend more money than planned. So trust me when I say: we. Want. That. Money. BACK! Now grab a Taser -your gun if necessary- and help us turn in these envelopes. Otherwise, your SOLDIER fuckbuddy will have _many_ holes to choose from next time he sees your ass!"

Dante let out sound somewhere between a high-pitched 'eek' and a gasp.

"Now move!" Rude concluded.

As the Turks stood up and walked towards the door, Elena yelled at the top of her lungs: "BLUE PENS!" She then tossed the items across the room. Pandemonium erupted as many people crashed were the places the pens had landed.

"That'll buy us some time," Elena said as the Turks began dashing through the corridors.

* * *

" _Why did ya have Tseng send me there!?"_

" _Look, can we not talk about this right now?"_

Ruluf and Freyra's argument could easily be heard through the frosted glass of Tseng's office, making Reno and Emma increasingly uncomfortable.

"So, umm. Do you have form SR-495?" Emma asked.

" _Come on! Do you really think I have that kind of power over Tseng!?"_

" _Not directly! But I'm sure ya had something to do with'at!"_

"Maybe we should go get some coffee, yo," Reno whispered.

"I quite agree," Emma answered. They began gathering their papers and then tiptoed out of the office.

* * *

The hallways around the accounting office were full of people trying to reach it. Yellow envelopes rose high above the heads and bickering over stepped-on-feet was common.

"Dammit! They're already here!" Cissnei said.

"Move it!" some man in a suit said while pushing Dante out of the way and the running toward the sea of people in front.

"Now what? How are we supposed to-?" Elena began before being cut by a shriek of pain: Cissnei and Rude had begun to Taser people out of the way.

"You crazy bitch!" the woman said as she pulled Cissnei's hair and tried to pull her back. The Turk then pushed back with her body and against a wall, shaking the attacker away.

"Move it you two!" Rude ordered Elena and Dante. Then, a lab technician jumped over his back and began choking him.

"Woa! Get of him!" Dante yelled as he pulled the man away from his partner.

They were soon pushed out the way by a red blur. "Move it you idiots!"

"Genesis! You can't go assaulting employees like-!"

"Shut up Angeal! Do you have any idea how much I have up for reimbursements!?"

"It's not my fault you spend so much on… What do you spend so much money on anyways?"

"None of your business!" Taking advantage of his enhanced strength, the SOLDIER began grabbing people and tossing them like pillows across the hallway.

"Great, this could not get any worse," Elena said.

They continued struggling to get near the accounting office's window, were a couple of panicked workers were receiving the envelopes.

After several minutes of struggle, the Tasers had run out of batteries, so Dante and Cissnei began pushing people aside by any means possible. A stray fist had knocked Rude's glasses off to be stepped on. Then, frantic waving arms could be seen near the window: Elena had managed to crawl among the people all the way to the front, and was a couple feet away from the window. Bad news was that Genesis was drawing close too.

Another employee was lifted and tossed like a rag doll by the SOLDIER, and it seemed Elena was next.

"She is our only chance!" Cissnei said, noting that they were being sandwiched by more people on the back of the hallway.

"We'll have to resort to _that,_ Cissnei."

"But!"

"Not 'buts', hand it over!"

The redhead Turk nodded, a mix of determination and sorrow on her eyes. From within the seemingly endless pockets of her suit, Cissnei produced a small, pink-covered book and handed it to Rude.

Rude gave Dante his envelope while saying "I'm trusting this to you, partner." He then pushed his way to the middle of the hallway and yelled at the top of his lungs: "Genesis! Your hair roots are showing!"

The SOLDIER stopped short of grabbing Elena and turned around, his face red as the coat he was wearing.

"What did you just said!?" he yelled from the other side of the room.

"Now that I got your attention." Rude then lift the pink book above his head. "It is a limited print of 'Loveless'…" he then pulled the sleeve of his suit up, revealing the materia equipped to the bracer of his glove, "…and I have a mastered Fire materia with me. So step back or I'll reduce this book to ash."

The whole hallway had fallen silent. Mostly everyone at Shin-Ra knew a thing of two about Genesis, and the first one always was 'do not mess with Loveless in front of him'. Although Dante could not begin to fathom how utterly stupid this stunt was, he was sure that shit had just hit the fan.

"Now listen, _Turk_ ," Genesis spat. He then gasped audibly as the materia in began glowing.

"Let's not make something we will all regret later," Angeal said in a soothing tone. All the people in the hallway was either taking cover near the columns at the sides or walking at a fast pace away from the drama, as if afraid that sprinting or making sudden moves would make them a target.

Elena had walked next to one of the windows of the accounting office and stuck her hand on it to keep the panicked secretary inside from locking it.

"I'm warning you! If you so much as scratch the cover I'll-STOP!" Smoke had begun to lift from the places were Rude's fingers were touching the book.

Dante slithered next to the walls, stopping next to the columns and then proceeding, getting as close as he dared to Genesis. The SOLDIER then began to walk towards Rude, holding his hand up. It was glowing red.

"Genesis! NO!" Angeal yelled. Dante dashed with Rude's envelope towards Elena and met Cissnei there. The Turks slid their paperwork in and finally, Elena let the employee close the window. When they turned around, one of Sephiroth's many variations of Bahamut had been summoned in the small hallway.

"Oh, brother…" Rude said as the dragonish being began gathering energy on its wings.

"Are you sure it's in this floor? There's nobody here, Reno." Emma said as she turned into the hallway along with the redhead.

"Yeah, yeah. I told you-oh SHIT!" Reno said, looking at the light ball growing in Bahamut's mouth.

"You know, it's not that much money anyway!"

"Damn right, yo!"

They ran back to where they came from.

* * *

Some floors below, in a dimly-lit room, a psychiatrist was talking in a soothing voice to Judet and Veld. In a chair a few feet away, Tseng was looking intently. The dark room, calming waterfall-and-forest sounds and slightly incensed air had helped put the former boss and second-in-command in a deep trance.

"Let us try again," the psychiatrist said to the hypnotized Turks. "What happened when you arrived at the bottom of the Corel reactor?"

"There were. People." Judet said in monotone.

"Enemies." Veld said. "And she was there, too…"

Tseng already knew as much. The mysterious woman in league with Fuhito. He leaned forward in his chair, hoping for a breakthrough.

"What happened then?" the doctor asked.

"Leave. Take Rufus with you," Veld said. Tseng eyed Ruluf's report yet again. Veld had ordered him that. They had barely been able to escape out of the reactor. Ruluf had been badly injured and spent the next three weeks in the hospital.

"There is a fight. He tries to reach for her. But then, Fuhito-" Judet said.

"There is an explosion." Veld said. A strange rumble rippled through the building. Tseng looked up in confusion. Was this part of the therapy? He looked at the psychiatrist, who was as confused as Tseng was. _"No. it isn't"_ he though.

"They took her. I tried so hard. But she pulled me back."

"We have to leave, chief!" Judet said.

"Who is _she_?" Tseng said, breaking silence and his promise to the doctor that he wouldn't intervene in the session.

"They have her." Veld said in a pained voice.

"Who!?" Tseng asked, louder this time.

"Mr. Tseng! You said-!" The doctor said in a hushed tone.

Veld inhaled deeply. "Fe-licia-."

Tseng stood motionless.

"Impossible," he said to himself. "What happened then!?"

At that moment, an explosion came from the upper floors, making the floor shake violently and snapping the Turks out of the trance.

"Wha-whatt!?" Judet said.

"AVALANCHE! They are at it again!" Veld yelled, back to his crazy persona.

"Dammit!" Tseng said. He made a mental note to kill whosoever had caused the interruption.

* * *

"I thought you were going to die!" Freyra finally said. "When the rescue team pulled you out of the reactor's rubble I-I was relieved! I was even happy they found _you_ instead of Veld or Judet!"

Ruluf looked at his ex-girlfriend's eyes get more and more watery.

"You were unconscious for weeks! I didn't know if you were going to make it! I couldn't care less if Veld had lost his damn mind of that my friend was in a fucking coma!"

"Freyra, I…"

"And when you wake up, all you can say is that Tseng needs to know something! Then you leave with him for weeks! Not a message, not a call! Nothing!" She punched the Turk in the chest, making him take a step back.

"I tried to tell ya! I really did, but-!"

"But duty called! That's the only thing I could get out of it! So yes! I asked Tseng to assign you to undercover work! Yes! I did it with the argument that it was going to affect my performance, taking advantage that he was just starting to take on the role of chief! And you know why? Because I could not see you in the eye! Because I could have you there as a reminder work had to be your- _our_ priority. Above all else." Freyra stopped, breathing heavily.

Ruluf took a step forward and held her in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry. I really am." Ruluf said.

Freyra began crying lightly, leaving to vent all the emotions that her job had required her to lock away. She thought of Rude's ill-fated relationship with Chelsea; of Cissnei, who did not dare act on her feelings for Fair; of Elena and Emma, sisters living this dangerous line of work; of Dante and his affair with the SOLDIER; of Reno and his messy life, product of his desire to keep away from commitment; of all her other partner's complicated lives.

Ruluf loved his job. She liked her job, too.

They just wished it would not be as tolling on their psyches. They hoped that all of the Turks could go on with this, without losing anyone on the way.

Or without losing themselves on the so called "black area" of their morality.

Lately, it had been an uphill battle

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I struggled with this chapter's ending more than with any other chapter. Sorry for taking so long to update.
> 
> I hope this chapter came out right, so let me know what you think and if you like this new direction the series in taking.
> 
> I have the outline of the following chapters, but they still need a lot of work. I'll try to update every two weeks or so.
> 
> Thank you for reading this story!
> 
> See ya later!


End file.
